Chapter 99: Ash

Once we are in the cafeteria, I grab Clarke a sandwich. I look over at Natalia and say, "How are you doing?"

"Better. Whatever drugs they were using is finally starting to wear off. It was like I was a walking zombie. I automatically did whatever I was told, even though I knew I didn't want to. It was like I was in my body, but it didn't listen to me. My body only listened to what the doctors told me to do. It's hard to explain. I've talked to a few of the others, and they describe it almost exactly the same way."

"I'm sorry that happened to you, but how did you get caught?"

"From what Anny has told me about your operation, I was trying to do the same thing. I was supposed to meet the buyer and set up a buy, but he had a list of all the undercover operatives in the CIA and NSA when I got there. They recognized me from my picture and knocked me out. When I woke up, I was chained and beaten until they were finally convinced, I was working by myself and off-book. Then they decided to use me as one of their Guinea pigs. They harvested my eggs, did God know what to them, and then once they had been inseminated, they implanted them back into me. Once I was around twelve weeks along, they strapped me down and used a needle to inject something into the placenta. All I could get out of anyone was they were using stem cells from ancient warrior races and wolf DNA to inject into the placenta. This would cause a mutation in the genes of the fetus. These mutations were key in making an army of super-soldiers that wouldn't be allowed to think on their own, just obey orders."

"I guess that's why the older kids wouldn't come with us, at least not most of them. A few seemed able to overcome whatever drug they were being given, or they had become immune to it. How far along are you?"

"Almost eight months, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Anny says that you are taking everyone back to San Francisco so that your group of doctors can monitor the pregnancies and children to figure out what happens next. I feel like my cover is completely blown, and they will be searching for me. Is there anyone you still trust at the agency that could maybe help me? I need to be considered dead and get a new identity. And if possible, come with you at least until we figure everything out."

"The only person I trust is Julian. He is the one that put us on your trail. I'm sure he will help."

"I need to get back to Clarke. We will talk more later."

When I get back to where Clarke is still sitting, talking to Samiya and the rest of the group while waiting to hear how Lexa is doing. Dakota is still right by Clarke's side, staring daggers at me. I'm beginning to think that she doesn't like me. I hand Clarke a turkey sandwich. She takes it but doesn't start eating eat. "Clarke, you need to eat. Otherwise, Lexa is going to be mad at us both."

"Fine, I'll try. But it is probably just going to come right back up."

She takes a bite but then puts it down, shaking her head. "I can't. I'm sorry."

A few minutes later, Abby comes out of the door of the OR still in her scrubs. Clarke jumps up and rushes to her. "Mom?"

Abby looks at the floor, giving herself time to gather her thoughts before looking at the group. "She is stable. Most of the bleeding had already stopped on its own, but part of her liver was severely damaged, and I had to take part of it laparoscopically. The good news is in time, it will regenerate. She had some other small bleeders that I was able to get under control. I was able to drain the fluid from around her heart as well. What has me worried is the infection and why she hasn't woke up yet. I'm going to give her a few hours to see if she wakes up before giving her CT scan and maybe even an MRI?"

Samiya speaks up and asks, "What about her ankle? Were you able to fix it?"

"Yes, the orthopedic said that whoever set it probably saved her from having serious nerve damage. He put a metal plate on the tibia. She has a soft cast on it now."

I start to cry, and Dakota is by my side before I can ask, "Can I see her mom?"

"Honey, she is sleeping and needs to rest. Like I said, she hasn't woken up yet, and I'm trying to get her fever down. I'm not sure if she will wake up anytime soon. She has a head injury, and I can't know the extent of it without a CT scan."

Ash says, "Abby, is she in a coma like I was? Does she have swelling on her brain?"

"I won't know for sure until I get the results of the scan. I just need to wait a few hours before doing the scan."

"Mom, I have to see her. I need to be there when she wakes up, please."

"Fine, but only if you promise to eat. You need to be taking care of yourself."

Dakota says, "I will go with her and make sure she eats. I-I mean if…if that is okay with you, Clarke."

Clarke

I smile and nod at her. Mom just gives me a weird look as I pick up the sandwich, taking a bite, and then mom leads me into the recovery room. I gasp when I first lay eyes on Lexa's body. Dakota puts her hand on my back to let me know that she is there. She reminds me so much of Lexa in the way she treats me. My robust and muscled fiancé lay there unconscious with tubes coming out of her arms and side with ice packs lining the bed. Her skin is a pale grey, her body is battered and bruised.

I walk over to her, leaning in and kissing her forehead. Dakota pulls a chair up to the bed for me to sit in as I take Lexa's hand in mine, bringing it to my lips to kiss her. Suddenly, I feel a strange flutter in my stomach. I gasp and grab my baby bump. Mom looks at me with concern, "Are you, alright honey?" Dakota puts her hand on my shoulder and looks down at me in concern.

"Yeah, I think. I just felt a fluttering in my stomach. It is probably just the sandwich trying to make its way back up."

"Honey, it could be the babies moving for the first time. Did it feel like a bunch of butterflies moving around?"

"Actually, yeah, it did?"

Mom began to smile, "Clarke, that is the babies moving around. Of course, you won't be able to feel it from the outside for a few weeks, but you will be able to feel them more and more."

I feel tears start to run down my cheeks, "I wish Lexa was awake to experience this with me."

Lexa

I vaguely remember being carried into a building and seeing Clarke for a few minutes before having excruciating pain in my chest and passing out. Now I am unsure if I am awake or not. I have the feeling that Clarke needs me and is extremely sad. I try to open my eyes, and I think that I do, but again I'm not entirely sure.

At first, I wake up in the Desert back in the orphanage. I'm not sure how old I am, only that I look to be about five or six. I am walking into the office between a woman and man, each holding my hand. I sit playing with some toys while they talk to a lady behind a desk. The woman is crying as the man explains to the lady behind the desk that they have to return something. He says, "We can't keep her. She's different from other children, and people are beginning to talk about harming her. They don't appreciate the fact that she is smart and picks up on things they are trying to hide. She is stronger and faster than other children her age and tends to be stubborn. We just can't protect her. We're sorry."

The woman comes over to where I am and hugs me, "I'm so sorry, baby, but this is for your own good. If you stay with us, the soldiers are going to want to use you because of your skills." She kisses my forehead and walks away crying, leaving me in the office with the strange lady.

Next, I see myself, but older. I'm attending school with a lot of other children my age. We are all wearing the same uniforms. As I walk toward the schoolhouse, I see a bunch of boys surrounding a smaller boy picking on him. I walk up and intervene. Of course, I don't know how to fight yet, but I'm fast and strong. I was able to dodge their punches long enough for the boy to get away, and then I was able to outrun the bullies. The little boy's name was Ali, and we became friends. We would sneak out of the orphanage at night, go into the town, and watch the Americans train through the fence. We tried to learn to defend ourselves against the bullies. When I was around fourteen, a soldier named Blake saw us watching and came over to ask what we were doing. I told him that the kids in school were bullying us, and we were trying to learn to defend ourselves. He showed us a few moves that night, and every night he saw us. Soon we were no longer being picked on.

The next time I 'wake up,' I'm Zander. I'm attending school in the south, and I haven't seen my friend Ali or Blake, the soldier, in a while. I now dress like a guy to continue my schooling since girls are not allowed to attend school. I am about to graduate and have a scholarship to attend the University in Kabul, where I hope to get a degree that will allow me to get out of Afghanistan. Then there is an explosion, and I wake up in a confinement camp.

At first, they think I'm a guy and keep me with the soon-to-be soldiers. The leader, Ahmed, and his second, Omar, give us a speech about how the Americans are ruining our way of life and attempting to westernize the middle east. He says it is our job to join him in his fight against them. Most everyone seems to agree except for me. I know this isn't true, and because I refuse to submit, I'm punished.

The following 'vision' is of the ambush in the valley. It is like I'm floating above everything but can't do anything to change the outcome. First, I see the entire fight in slow motion trying to warn Ash and myself about what is about to happen. Next is the mission to Azans. I have a gut feeling that something is off about the whole thing, but Ash insists that we have to go so that we don't blow our cover. I know that I am deeply in love with her and will do anything to protect her. But something about that feels wrong in the back of my mind. Like I'm in love with someone else.

The mission goes badly, and I have to rescue Ash from Omar, but she is severely injured. My memories fast forward to the task to take down Ahmed and what happens after. Ash finally recovers, and we both receive medals, and I'm granted citizenship. Ash and I become awfully close and are dating, but there is a buzzing in my head telling me that there is someone else for me. I can't figure out what is going on. Things just keep moving to different points in what I think is my life.

While in DC, I met Callie, and things become very confusing between Ash and me. While I am site seeing, I see a girl in trouble and end up saving her from being kidnapped. She turns out to be an actress, Cree. I end up spending some time with her, and we become close friends. Her dad even gives me a leather jacket with a new set of throwing knives.

The next thing I know, I have won a yacht in a fight, and my friends and I are partying pretty much every night. Ash has gone back to her high school sweetheart and son while I seem to be sleeping around with anyone because the one person I want is in a relationship, and I refuse to interfere with it. That is until I find out he is cheating on her. I knew the first time that I saw Clarke, she was the one that I wanted, but she was with Finn.

Next, I'm at the club singing to Clarke for the first time. Finn, of course, ruins it, and Clarke leaves. I try to get her to let me follow her home, but she won't. Somehow, I see everything that happened that night. I see him knocking on the door and forcing his way in, chasing Clarke through her house. I try to help her, but I can't. I have to watch as he rapes her until I finally show up with O. Things seem to flash by like watching a movie on fast forward. Then, I see the other things that we have to overcome to be together until finally, we are happy.

Now, I finally have the love of my life, Clarke, beside me, and we are getting married on a private island. She is pregnant with our twin girls, and everything is finally working out. A few months after the wedding, she has our babies, and we are happy. Everything is amazing. I have everything that I have ever wanted, family, friends, and freedom. Then, suddenly, I am hit with a feeling of terror and sadness. I somehow know that it is coming from Clarke. I need to find her.

I start to walk around looking for her and find her in a graveyard. I ask, "Baby is everything okay?"

She looks at me with sad eyes and says, "No, you-you…promised to come back to me alive."

"Sweetie, I did. I'm right here."

"It doesn't count if you die after you get here. You were supposed to marry me and help me with our kids. Now all I have is this." She points to the gravestone she is standing in front of. It says, 'Alexandria Lexa Sahar aka Stryker.'

I look around and see two toddlers sitting in a stroller under a tree with Ash. I look at Clarke and ask, "Are those our kids?"

"They would be if you had come back. Now it is just them and me. How could you?"

"Baby, I'm here, right here."

"No, you aren't. You are lying in a bed, in a coma. If you love me, come back to me. You have to fight. Open your damn eyes and come back to me!"

I walk towards the tree where Ash is standing with the toddlers. I squat down and see that one looks like Clarke, except she has my eyes, and the other looks like me but with Clarke's eyes. I try to touch them but can't. Finally, Ash says, "Lexa, this isn't real. It's just a dream. If you want to see your kids and Clarke, you have to fight. Clarke can't do this without you, fight."

I stand there staring at the toddlers, trying to remember what happened and where I am. Finally, Ash says, "If you want to meet Maddy and Lena, you need to fight to come back to them." I finally remember the rescue mission, the explosions, and the building collapsing. I remember dying and coming back at least three times. If I've done it before, I have to do it again. I have to wake up. Clarke is in pain, and I have to get to her. I try and force myself to move and open my eyes. I concentrate as hard as I can. Slowly the graveyard starts to fade.