I had been reading countless books these past few weeks, trying to figure out how to complete my task. As I stood in front of one of two vanishing cabinets I let out a deep sigh. Here goes nothing. I opened the creaky door and placed a shiny green apple inside. I closed the door and took out my wand. Concentrating I muttered the incantation and listened. Did I hear it? I opened the door and sure enough the apple had vanished. I smiled to myself and shut it again. I went back to the book I had taken from the restricted section and reviewed the sixth chapter again, waiting for the apple to be returned.
The sound of something whooshing through the air tickled my ear and I opened the cabinet. Inside was the apple, I picked it up and turned it over. Someone at Borgin and Burkes had taken a bite of it. I sighed with relief. Perhaps I could do this after all. Although that was not a thought that initiated any real warm and fuzzy feelings. If I could do this then that meant darkness and death would come here. If I could do this, it meant that my family might be spared. If I could do this, I would never have Hermione Granger look at me with kindness or friendship ever again.
xxx
"Harry, stop it. There is no way Draco is a Death Eater. He isn't even seventeen yet." I said, my voice filled with annoyance at having the same conversation over and over again. I flicked over a page in my book laying on the table in the Gryffindor Common Room.
"You think Voldemort has an age restriction Hermione? And have you even seen him in classes lately?" Harry asked, his quill and Charms essay abandoned in front of him.
"He was in Potions class with us this morning." I pointed out, trying to prove him wrong. "No, Ron you're copying down the wrong page." I took back my notes and reorganized them for him.
"I'm just saying-"
"Harry, don't you have a Quidditch practice to get to?" I asked hoping we could officially move on from the subject.
"Yes, okay fine. Ron, let's go change." Harry said standing up, "You're coming to watch the tryouts right?"
"Yes, 'Mione please come, you're my good luck charm." Ron pleaded.
I smiled, "Of course, I'll be down in a minute. I am just going to grab a warmer jumper." I assured him and gathered my things.
"Good luck Ron!" Lavender Brown called from the couches where she was obviously eavesdropping. I frowned, Ron smiled and jogged up the stairs after Harry.
I made my way up to my room to search for a thicker jumper. As I did, my thoughts consumed me.
I had a big crush on Ron for the last few years, however the day Draco Malfoy kissed me last year, my feelings became all muddled. I couldn't figure out what was happening. When I was with Draco, I felt such infatuation and exhilaration. His touches and kisses made my head crazy and filled my body with feelings I had never had before. However, when I was on my own, with my own thoughts I drifted back to Ron. It would make so much more sense to be with Ron. It makes absolutely no sense to be with Draco. We didn't really say it to each other, but I don't think either of us saw a future together.
Walking out to the quidditch pitch, I noticed some others in the stands. I climbed up to the Gryffindor seats and saw a group of Slytherins on the other side, Draco among them. He was staring right at me, I looked away. I wasn't here for him, I was here for Ron.
xxx
"Looks like McLaggen and Weaselbee are trying out for the same position." Theo commented.
I turned my attention away from Granger and looked down at the Gryffindor tryouts. Maybe with Potter as the captain we stood a shot at winning this year. Not that I should even be distracted by quidditch. My aunt had sent me letters since I got here, instructing me to focus only on the Dark Lord's task. My mother sent me two letters, one inquiring how my classes were and the other, congratulating me on making captain, commenting that Father would be proud and delighted to hear it. I burned all of the letters.
Blaise snorted a laugh and I looked up to see McLaggen missing the quaffle. What an idiot, he isn't even trying. It's like he is purposely dodging the thing. I look over to Granger and see that she is covering her mouth. I turn back to McLaggen and then back to Granger. "That little witch." I cursed under my breath.
"What was that mate?" Blaise asked.
I shook my head, "I'm bored. I'll leave you to watch the Gryffindor's making fools of themselves." I said as I exited from the group and went down the stands. I pulled out the coin and my wand from my pocket. I tapped it twice and then headed for the castle.
xxx
"Took you long enough." He said as I entered the abandoned classroom.
I rolled my eyes, "I was helping my friends." I told him smugly as I walked towards him. He stood between the desks at the front of the classroom. I hopped up on one of the long tables and perched at the edge.
"Yes I saw that." He said.
I furled my brow, "What are you talking about?" I asked.
"I saw you confounding McLaggen at the tryouts today." He said and came to stand in front of me.
I scoffed, "Do you have a crush on him or something?"
He rolled his eyes at me, "Why were you confounding an innocent student Miss. Prefect?" He drawled.
"First of all Cormac is hardly someone who I would describe as innocent. And second of all, it is none of your business why I did what I did. Not that I am admitting to anything." I said with a huff and jumped off the desk to walk away. He grabbed my wrist and spun me around towards him.
"Was it because of Weasley?" He asked in a low voice.
"Ron is my friend, I was helping a friend. Are you going to turn me in or something?" His face was close to mine. I could feel his breath against my cheeks.
"Just a friend? Tell me Granger do you or have you ever thought of Weasley as more than a friend?"
"Where is all of this coming from Draco? You're being ridiculous." I tried to get my wrist free from his grasp. He squeezed it before letting go and he took a step back. He drew his hand down his face and sighed.
"Never mind. I have things to do." He pushed past me and walked towards the door.
"Excuse me, but what the hell is happening here?" I shouted at him.
"Nothing alright Granger, go back to your little friends and to Weasley," His voice dripped with sourness as he said Ron's name, "I have more important things to do then to talk about your love life."
"My love life? I don't have a love life!" I stomped towards him. "You're being a right prick right now and I want to know why!" I shouted as I stepped in front of him. I pushed his shoulder. He accepted the push but didn't look me in the eye.
"I have things to do." He said solemnly.
"What things?" I asked more gently as I took his hands into mine.
"I can't tell you." He was picking a spot on the wall to stare at.
"Let me help you." I tried to move my head so that it was in his line of sight.
He sighed and looked at me. He looked down at our hands and interlaced his fingers with mine. He squeezed them gently and looked up at me, "No." He said simply and let go of my hands. He walked out of the classroom and didn't look back.
xxx
I need to end this. I need to end it now. I should have ended it this summer. Well, actually, I never should have acted on my feelings. I am not jealous of Weasley, regardless of what she says. I am jealous of anyone who gets to be with her the way she deserves. I am so fucking jealous of anyone who gets to be out in public with her, who doesn't need to think about how to survive. I wish my biggest problem was what kind of present to get Granger for her birthday, but if I think about that shit for a second, then I might lose it. And I can't fucking lose it. I make my way to the Room of Requirement again, pacing back and forth. The door appears and I head inside.
xxx
I had just left a party in the Gryffindor Common Room on my way to the library, when a piece of paper fluttered down in the stairwell. I grabbed it. 'Seventh Floor. Please.' was all that was written, but I knew it was Draco's handwriting. I paused for a moment. Did I want to engage in this toxic relationship on my 17th birthday? Did I want to see Draco and feel his hands on my body? I took a deep breath and changed course, making my way to a familiar corridor.
Draco was leaning against the old stone wall, twirling his wand between his fingers, one foot propped up against the wall, one hand in his pocket. He stood straight when he saw me and put his wand in the pocket of his trousers.
"Hi." I said, clutching my books tightly to my chest.
"Thanks for coming." He said softly, walking towards me. I stopped my movement and looked at him. "I'm sorry. I know I haven't been a very good b...whatever I am. But today is a very special day and I wanted you to know that." He played with the hair that framed my face. "Happy Birthday Granger." He smiled.
I smiled back, "Thank you."
"So how does it feel to be officially an adult?" He asked, sliding my books out of my arms and taking my bag off my shoulder.
"Well in the Muggle world it's actually eighteen, so it feels a little strange to be considered an adult at seventeen. I am not sure if I like that any better given that the laws in the Wizarding World seem to be stricter, I mean the ministry tried to expel Harry and all but put him in Azkaban last year for a bit of magic. Seventeen seems like an awful young age to be sentenced as an adult." I rambled as Draco paced back and forth along the wall until a door appeared.
"Only you would immediately jump to 'now I could go to Azkaban' when someone asks you how it feels to be officially an adult." He smirked at me and held the door open, "I mean bloody hell Granger, you could have said 'now I can apparate to France whenever I want to', but no, you went straight for a criminal trial." He chuckled as I gave him a scowl and walked past him into the room.
"Oh my!" I gasped. I stopped just over the threshold of the door, Draco had to squeeze behind me to get by. The room was filled with gold balloons and streamers. There was a glowing fire in the hearth. Across was a coffee table filled with treats and a three tiered gold cake that had the number 17 on top of it. There was a grey sofa next to the table with throw pillows and blankets.
"Do you like it?" Draco asked, setting my things down near the doorway and leading me towards the table set up.
"It's so pretty!" I complimented, looking around, "Oh my favourite flavour of sugar quill!" I exclaimed, noticing all of the other treats on the table.
Draco laughed, "I'm glad the candy impresses you Granger."
"Really Draco, it is all beautiful. Thank you for doing this." I sat down on the couch and tucked my legs underneath me. He sat down next to me and draped his arm around my shoulders, as he leaned in to kiss the top of my head.
"I got you something." He told me as he reached for a round gold box on the table.
"You didn't need to get me a present." I insisted as he placed the box into my hands. I looked up at him.
"It's your birthday, your seventeenth birthday and that is a big deal in this world. You need something special." He told me and held my stare. He tapped the box, "Go on. Open it."
I smiled and looked down at the box as I untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. My eyes widened, "Oh my" I breathed as I took in the dainty gold bracelet with a lozenge cut emerald in the middle.
Draco took the box out of my hands and removed the gold bracelet from it. He motioned for my wrist and clasped it around it. "Do you like it?" he asked as he adjusted it so the emerald sat right in the middle of my wrist.
I touched the bracelet carefully as if it would break if my touch was too rough. "It's beautiful. You...You didn't need to get me this." I looked up at him, as if his eyes would tell me what this gift meant on an emotional level.
"Like I said, seventeen is a pretty important birthday." He interlaced his fingers with the hand he had put the bracelet on. "The emerald is charmed. It will turn black if there is danger nearby." He added quietly.
I didn't really want to know what he meant by that statement. I just wanted to bask in this happy moment for a while. "Thank you Draco," I looked up at him again, "I love it." I told him and kissed his cheek.
He turned his head and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I kissed him back and he moved his arms to encircle my waist. He deepened the kiss and leaned me back so we laid across the couch. His hands found their way under my jumper, they were burning hot against my skin. I moaned into his mouth as he brushed his thumb along the underside of my breast. He reciprocated the moan and moved his one hand down to grip my upper thigh over my tights. My jumper was getting pushed up bit by bit. Draco moved his kisses along my jawline and down my neck, he bent to place kisses across my stomach and up, until… "Draco." I said, with a tone of caution in my voice. I don't think I am ready for this level of intimacy yet. He kissed the side of my torso as his other hand reached the skin between the top of my tights and the hem of my skirt. His thumb brushed against that area and it tickled. "Draco, let's stop, please." I said softly. He was too caught up in the moment. My hands found their way to his shoulders and I pushed on them slightly. He lifted his head and looked at me.
xxx
Her eyes were filled with panic. I looked at where my hands were, "Fuck." I said and pushed myself off of her. I stood beside the sofa and ran a hand through my hair, "Fuck, fuck fuck." I said walking around to the other side of the table trying to put as much distance between us as possible. She sat up and readjusted her clothing.
"It's okay Draco." She told me. Okay? It was okay that I had my hands, and my mouth everywhere she didn't want them to be.
I looked at her "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." I said calmly, although I did not feel calm at all.
"Draco, really, it's fine. We just got a little carried away."
"You mean I got very carried away. Fuck." I went over to her and knelt in front of her.
She put her hands on my shoulders, "Draco, I am fine. It happens, raging hormones and what not." She said laughing, trying to lighten the mood.
"I don't want to ruin your birthday." I said feeling ashamed, she kissed my lips gently.
"You didn' made it very special. Now come and serve me a slice of cake." She said moving to settle down on the floor to be closer to the table. I moved back a bit and settled beside her. "Oh and could you look over my Defence Against the Dark Arts essay? Professor Snape is just so particular and I want to make sure I made my points clearly. One wrong word and he deducts a whole grade point." She stood up to go and get her essay.
I smiled, "Sure Granger." I said as I bit off the end of a sugar quill. I tried to relish in the happiness of the moment. Knowing full well I won't be getting much more of them. I'll made a mental note to occulate later.
xxx
"Ah Miss. Granger, right on time." Professor Slughorn said as he ushered me inside. I smiled as I locked eyes with Ginny and she waved over from her place on the other side of the room where she was speaking with Melinda Bobbin. "Now, have you met Mr. Zabini?" I turned to the person Professor Slughorn had guided me too.
"Uh, we've had some classes together." I replied.
"Mr. Zabini did you know that Miss. Granger is extraordinarily academically gifted." Professor Slughorn pressed on, still gripping me by the shoulders.
Blaise's mouth twitched into a smirk, "I have heard those rumours, Professor. Pleasure Miss. Granger." He said as he extended his hand. I swallowed and shook it, trying not to seem uncomfortable. I had an inkling that Blaise knew about Draco and I.
"When I inherited the class list from Professor Snape, Miss. Granger was tied for first place. I will admit that I am saddened that poor Malfoy boy has taken such a turn." Professor Slughorn released my shoulders, much to my relief. I continued to look at Blaise, and him at me, as Slughorn continued, "And his father too. Did you know that Lucius was a part of the club? Yes, he was a very talented boy. I thought the same would be of Draco, but, well, I don't like to discuss other student's academic records with others, however I am sure you are both close to the boy."
I snapped my head towards Professor Slughorn so fast, "I'm sorry what did you say?"
He seemed to collect himself and remember where he was and what he was discussing, "Oh I just meant that he does not seem to be doing as well this year as he has done when Professor Snape was teaching him. I had thought, Miss. Granger, that you would know, well since you both earned the top marks last year."
I cleared my throat, I could really use some water, or something stronger, "I'm sorry Professor but I don't know Dra-Mr. Malfoy very well. I do believe that he and Mr. Zabini are friends so perhaps he could help him if he is struggling." I looked at Blaise.
Blaise put on a pleasing grin, "Not to worry Professor, I will try and help out Draco."
"Excellent, Oh, please excuse me." Professor Slughorn said and hurried away to consult with the staff.
"You look nice Granger." Blaise commented, his eyes roaming over me.
"Thank you, if you will excuse me." I tried to get away and join Ginny.
"You know, you could always join our study sessions Granger. I know you spend a lot of time in the library."
"I highly doubt either of you would like someone like me to join in." I turned to face him.
He shrugged, "I'm sure Draco wouldn't mind." He said.
"Well then you obviously don't know him well. Trust me, I am the last person Draco would want to sit with in public."
Once again the smug prick casually shrugged his shoulders, "You know you're probably right. I am sure you know him much better than I do." He walked over until we were shoulder to shoulder, "Nice bracelet by the way. It was your birthday a few days ago wasn't it." He leaned closer and whispered in my ear, "Happy Birthday Granger", before walking away.
I breathed in deeply, and grabbed a glass off the waiter's tray who was walking by. I gulped the whole thing down, at least it tasted like Muggle champagne and not firewhiskey. I turned to go find Ginny.
xxx
"Well, how was it?" Nott asked Zabini as he came back to the dorm. I sat up on my bed and turned towards them.
"Quite interesting actually. Not Slughorn of course, he was overtly obvious that he wanted collectables, but the assembly of people he had was definitely entertaining." He undid his shirt as he spoke.
"Feeling left out, Nott?" I asked teasingly, it was rumoured that he was in, as I was, before someone let it slip about our father's being Death Eaters. Sometimes I think that Blaise is lucky he doesn't actually know which one of his mother's seven husbands is his father.
Theo shrugged, "So who was there?" he pressed Blaise for more gossip. I rolled my eyes and laid back down.
"The Carrow sisters, Melinda Bobbin, Potter, of course," He picked up his nightshirt from his bed and pulled it on, "Oh the Weasley girl, she was interesting, McLaggen, Merlin knows why. Longbottom, Belby, though I doubt he'll be back, Slughorn didn't seem thrilled with him, and then Granger." He ended. I looked over at him to see him staring knowingly at me. I scowled at him and looked back up at the top of my bunk.
"Really McLaggen, Longbottom and Belby? Merlin, sounds rather dull." Theo said as he climbed into bed.
"Yes, McLaggen was quite dull, although he did seem quite taken with Granger, could hardly keep his eyes off her all night. She did look nice, for once." I sat up, Blaise smirked at me. Dammit. "Do you know if they are together?" He asked.
I shot him another scowl, "What's it to you anyway? Fancy taking a muggle out?" I asked, trying hard to mask my annoyance.
"Wow when did you start using Muggle instead of mud-" Theo started, but Blaise cut him off.
"Just curious." He shrugged, "Slughorn mentioned a Christmas party. Said we could bring someone." He looked over at me.
"Are you asking me to be your date Blasie?" I drawled, laying back down.
"Ah Draco, don't flatter yourself, you are way down on my list. Granger is closer to the top than you are, but she didn't seem to be all that interested in speaking to me this evening so I cannot imagine she would be up for being my date."
"Am I missing something?" Theo asked, looking between us.
"Nope, just Blaise being a self-righteous arse like always." I shot out.
"Well there is still time, I am sure I'll find someone." Blaise turned off the light.
I rolled over, not bothering to reply.