Bryn

Somewhere in Space

"Where exactly is … here?" I asked the girl slowly.

"You mean you don't know where you are?" I just shook my head in response to her question.

"This is Xandar."

Xandar.

I was on Xandar. I started laughing and crying uncontrollably and the two kids near me looked concerned. Of course I would get stranded on an alien planet through a magic portal. I calmed down enough to ask,

"Tell me is Xandar in the Milky Way Galaxy?"

"Um… no?" One of them nervously answered. I started laughing again. Of course it fucking wasn't.

"Oh that's just great! Ok ok, tell me how far away from Earth am I?"

"Earth? Where is that? I haven't heard of that planet before."

"Well I guess that answers my question," I snickered bitterly. Real fuckin' far. At least I transported to a planet that could support organic lifeforms. I chuckled darkly at the image of me asphyxiating on land, flopping around like a fish, gasping for air in an atmosphere that had none or too little. At that thought I felt my breathe hitch as my body stupidly tried to mirror what I was thinking. Or maybe I was just panicking at being on an alien planet. I could feel myself getting panicky, so I went to my go-to calming exercise.

Four seconds in, two second pause. Eight seconds out, two second pause. Repeat.

I don't know how long I sat there just getting my breathing and mental state under control but I was brought out of my world when I heard a commotion in the square. A figure with either a metal head or mask was sprinting towards us and a woman with green skin, not yellow, chasing after him. A classic thief and pursuer run. Good to know criminals weren't just an Earth problem. I could solemnly swear they were up to no good. At least one of them.

Laughing internally at my reference I looked at my pockets and utility belt and saw I miraculously still had my taser, a Nokia burner phone for some reason, and my giant flashlight. I took the taser and flashlight out. Well, if the Nova Core or whoever wasn't here yet maybe I could catch these people and get on their good side. And if it was a mistake just tell them 'I'm new here, from Earth.' No harm no foul.

The singular logic cell still functioning told me this was a bad idea but was quickly dismissed by my frazzled mind. Plus, I wanted to pick a fight after the past twenty four hours. And what better place than an alien planet?

"Meh, here goes nothin'." I shrugged.

As the metalhead ran by I swung my flashlight at their head, connecting and the person dropped like a sack of potatoes. I then spun while aiming my taser at green woman hitting her, but it didn't do much. She just froze for a second and then in slow motion pulled out the prongs while I watched in amazement as she essentially brushed off a police strength taser.

"You, move out of my way. The orb is coming with me." Her voice was very regal and majestic.

"Gurl you just took out a taser like it was nothing! Daang! I don't know what the orb is but I doubt I could stop you from taking it." I said in slight disbelief. She was about to respond when an orange laser like net was thrown over her and she collapsed to the ground twitching. Eech, that looked painful.

"Hey you! If you're trying for the bounty don't even think about it! This one's ours." A new higher pitched, slightly annoying male voice called out.

"I am groot!"

"I know we don't need all the credits for our debt, Groot, but I don't wanna share them either!" The owner of the voice came into view, and it was a talking racoon next to a walking tree. I just stood there, shocked into silence. A talking raccoon next to a walking tree. This was too much for one day.

"Huh, I think we broke it. It must be so scared hahaha!" The racoon laughed gleefully after seeing my unresponsiveness.

"I am groot!" The tree said in a gravelly but warm voice.

"What? No not actually. I don't know what's wrong with it but it's not our problem."

"I am groot."

"No we can't help it, we're trying to get out of here with our bounty right now."

"I am groot."

"We can't take it with us. What about it's family, you want to separate that thing from it's family? Huh? It'll probably break even more!"

"I am groot!"

"Ahh don't get all weepy. Itt'll be fine here, this is it's home." The whole exchange I just let my head swivel back and forth watching the two like a ping pong match.

"This isn't my home." I cut in, "and I'm not an it." Both turned to took at me, but my attention shifted from the conversation to metalhead, who had recovered and was trying to sneak away undetected.

"Leaving so soon?" I called out.

"Hey look, I came a really long way to get this orb. I even made an enemy of a longtime friend and then I couldn't even sell it. So I'd really appreciate it if you just let me skedaddle on outta here. I won't be any trouble really. I'll just get out of your hair now." He quickly turned and started to run when a giant branch snaked forward and grabbed him around the waist, securing his arms.

"Haha nice work Groot! Let's wrap this one up and get paid." I looked back to raccoon rubbing his hands together gleefully and realized that the branch was the walking tree's arm extended and grown out. I watched as they pulled out a giant sack and stuffed the man into it. They had just finished tying it closed when a green blur raced past me and … CHOPPED OFF THE TREES ARM.

I looked at the citizen girl from earlier,

"She just," I made a slicing motion with my hand. "Chop!" I finished and she nodded slowly in disbelief.

"Are people allowed to do that here?" I asked still in shock, and she shook her head no.

"The orb will go with me! Thanos requires it for his plan." Green lady declared.

"That's fine, we only want Quill! You didn't have to chop off Groot's arm!" Raccoon shouted angrily.

"I cannot trust you." She replied. While they were conversing, I looked back to the net, currently deactivated. I walked over and looked for the activation switch. Maybe it turned on when you threw it? I cautiously poked it with my foot and when nothing happened, I grabbed it. Upon picking it up I noticed one corner had something that looked like a button. Hopefully, that wasn't a self-destruct one.

I looked over at the four squabbling adults who seemed more like toddlers each shouting 'mine' and 'back off' at an increasing volume. The biggest threats were the tree and the lady, and as I couldn't really do anything about a tree I focused on the lady. The net seemed to work last time, if for a short while. Nova Core people would have to hurry their butts and get here soon. Metalhead had managed to get out of the bag, which I could use for either him or the raccoon. I also still had my taser and flashlight.

I walked over, net in hand and clicked the button heaving it over green lady's head. I then scooped up the discarded bag and looked for whoever was closest, which was the raccoon. I darted forward and slammed the bag down on top of raccoon's head wrestling a bit and finally managing to shove him inside and tie off the cinch top. Tree was fighting metalhead, but looked over when I grabbed the raccoon.

"I am groot!" I looked up at the tree, hoping it wasn't too angry. He started forward but I held out my hand.

"Here, take him!" I offered. While the tree was busy trying to untie the knot, I looked around for metalhead, who was trying to sneak away. Again.

"Stop!" I shouted. He continued running without looking back. I gave chase, pulling out my taser.

"Stop or I'll shoot!" I tried again. This time they froze and put their hands up, slowly turning around and hitting a button on the side of their head which made the metal fold away.

"I'm not looking to die today, but I'm also not trying to get caught by the Nova Corp. How about we make a deal, yeah? I have a buyer and they're willing to pay four million credits for this orb right here. Four million. Does 25% percent sound good? We can get on my ship right now, whaddya say?"

"One you're a strange man, and two what are credits. Are they like money here I'm guessing?"

"What are cre-" He cuts himself off in a scoff of disbelief and looks up at the sky. "You've never heard of intergalactic credits? It's like the main form of currency across the galaxy. You must not be from around here." He squinted at me taking a closer look.

"That's not even a gun! That's a taser from earth. Holy – you're from earth aren't you? Like me? How did you get here!"

"The… bi-frost?" I answered but it sounded more like a question.

"That's even more of a reason for you to come with me. We're both Earthlings, we should stick together!" He took a step closer to me and motioned between the two of us.

"Again, strange man. Also, you're a criminal." I said, re-aiming my taser.

"Fair enough, " He raised both hands in a placating gesture. "I'm guessing you haven't been out here long. I'm Starlord, ever heard of me? Nah nevermind, you wouldn't have. Ok I don't have a lot of time. I have to get out of here. I'm really sorry about this you seem like a nice person." He said while almost imperceptibly shifting his hands. He seemed like the type to have many gadgets if his mask was anything to go by. Gadgets that I would not want activated. So I did what any sane person would do.

I tased him in the face.

"I'm not sorry," I said walking up to his seizing form. "You should've left your helmet on. I heard it really hurts to get tased in the face. And betraying a longtime friend, really?" I shook my head and settled in to wait for Nova Core.

I stepped off the ship and saw the Nova Core headquarters for the first time. Posh palace was an accurate nickname for it. It was huge. A small push on my back broke my staring and had me moving. A small group had exited the building and walked out to meet us on the airstrip. The officers escorting me posed at attention once we got close enough and a lady in the center of the group meeting us waved them at ease. She stared at me, her gaze making me straighten my posture and want to give a good first impression. I studied her as well, obviously in charge she seemed to have an air of authority about her that could only come about through years of experience.

"So you're the one who apprehended four of the most wanted criminals in the galaxy?"

"Three. I didn't even try to take on the tree. Groot, was it?"

"Hmm, yes. Follow me so we can explore your options proceeding forward." She clipped and then spun and started walking back inside. I exhaled, hoping that was the right thing to say. Honesty is the best policy, right? I trudged after her slowly, not sure if I should catch up to her or what to expect when we got to our destination.