It was barely before lunch, but I wanted to do it before. The thing was I couldn't stall any more. I've done everything to postpone my meeting with Natalie, but I had to do it some time sooner. Taking in a deep breath, I knocked on her door. Her maid opened it. Seeing me, they curtsied and the three of them went out, giving me a little alone time with her.

Dressed in a blue so dark it appeared black, Natalie was seated by her desk, a small photo album in her hands. Her face had always been an open book, and I could easily read her thoughts. She was grieving for the sister she'll never get to see again. She wanted to be with her family, but knew she couldn't go out, couldn't throw away her little sister's wish to see her as a princess, not until she was eliminated. And thanks to the king, she knew there was a chance she won't be going back.

"How are you?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

Though her eyes were bloodshot and fluffy, she gave me a small smile. "I think I'll be fine, I just don't know when." A few tears dropped out from her eyes. "But how, Maxon? When she was being tortured, I was here, laughing with Kriss, chatting with my maids, gossiping, trying to be my best...and there she was, shouting for help, wishing her big sis was here to escape her, to protect her." She wiped her cheeks again. "Why her, Maxon? What did she do wrong?"

"She didn't so anything wrong, Nat, I did. The rebels were trying to make a point to me."

"But it was her who paid the price, Maxon. My baby sister."

"I know, Nat. And you have no idea how sorry I am."

She said nothing, just wiped her tears away. I had no idea how she was doing this—trying to appear doing good. But what worried me was her lack of response. I had heard she had cried last night, but she hadn't sobbed her heart out. This troubled me. I didn't want her to make some rash decision.

"I'm so sorry, Natalie. For everything."

She nodded her head, as if on autopilot. Many must have told her the same thing.

"I know it wasn't fair. The fight was with us, but the rebels pulled her in. It's nowhere near right, but I don't know anything else. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She murmured, looking up. "Don't be sorry, Maxon." There was something in her eye that frightened me a little bit. It was determination formed by grief and pain. It was bad, in a good way, but still something not right. "Make sure to make whoever did this pay, Maxon. Only take a deep breath then, not before. I couldn't help Lacey, or protect her. But justice is one thing I can give her."

"I promise."

An idea came in my mind. It was reckless, which made it even more dangerous as well as worth trying. "But, if given a chance, will you avenge her death?"

"Yes." She answered in a heartbeat. "With everything I am, everything I can do, I will avenge her." A few tears leaked out of her eyes. "I wasn't able to do anything when she was alive, but I'll do anything to make sure I avenge her death."

"Good. Then I want you to keep that determination on, because I'm not going to remain silent until I due all those bastards to death. I promise I'll make Lacey's sacrifice worth it, Natalie." She gave me a nod, wiping her cheeks with both of her hands. "Good. Now, be a good lady, smile, and get ready to go back. You came here as a stranger, but you'll be going as my Elite and one of my friend."

Her eyes widened in relief and then in sadness. She was being eliminated, she knew, but her face also told me she knew it wasn't just because of the recent events. She gave me a sad smile. "I'll miss you, too."

"The feeling's mutual, Natalie." I kissed her hand the last time.

"Can I ask you something?" she mumbled, looking at me as if trying to solve a puzzle.

"Yes."

"Did I ever had the chance to be your wife?"

I gave her a rueful smile. "Does it matter now?"

She nodded once. My aloof answer served her the truth she wanted to know. "No. It doesn't. But still it's good to know if I had the chance."

I didn't want to lie to her, but the truth..."You did, but not as good as Kriss."

"Or America."

I gave her another nervous smile. "You were one of the most amazing girl I'd ever met." That wasn't a lie.

"Thank you. Can I give you a piece of advice?"

"Sure. Anything."

"Don't be harsh on Kriss."

"Natalie!" I had no idea what she meant by that.

"I know she's your backup plan, Maxon." She gave me a small smile, as if it wasn't a secret. "I even tried to tell her this but she got angry. Told me that I'd lost my mind, I was being a jealous bitch, and that I should keep up with my own business, that you love her."

"The thing is I do love her, Natalie."

She gave me another of her smile. It didn't carry the usual charisma of her, but it still felt jovial, even when she was hardly controlling herself from falling by the pain. "But you'll be choosing America, for better or for worse, which would break Kriss's heart. I know that, and I don't blame you for it, Maxon. You did what you had to do. All I'm asking of you is to make sure you don't hurt Kriss too deeply to recover. She loves you, you know. It'll crush her if she comes to know you aren't in love with her."

"I know." That was why I always felt guilty when it came to Kriss. She didn't not mean anything, but she didn't anything more either.

"I know that. It's just that I failed as an elder sister once. I don't want to fail as a best friend now."

"You hadn't, and you never will. Kriss may be too proud to say it, but she's lucky to have you as friend."

"I know that. I'm the best, if you don't know." A few more tears leaked out of her eyes as she tried for another of her smile.

" The best." I corrected and kissed her cheek. "Here." I handed her the envelope. "It has some amount I hope will be useful to you. I know it's no compensation, but keep it please." Any retort ready on her lips died as she accepted the envelope. "It also contains some pictures of Lacey from her time in here. I know it's nit the right time, but..."

She eagerly cut the envelope and searched for the photographs. There were ten in precise. One of when she came, one of her from the women's room, another half dozen from when she'd dressed for Halloween. A few couple pictures were taken as a part of Natalie's life, but it showcased Lacey in an amazing light.

Natalie looked up at me. "They're beautiful, Maxon. Thank you."

I nodded. Stepping forward, I took her in my arms and embraced her tightly. "I wish all the best for whatever you achieve, and also wish you an amazing life. I wish you find an amazing partner and he loves you as dearly as I failed to. You deserve every happiness, Natalie. Don't let the rebels steal that from you as well."

"I won't." She vowed.

Leaning back, she kissed me one last time on my cheek. "I hope you find your the one soon Maxon, and she loves you as much as you love her."

"Rooting for Kriss?"

She chuckled. "Sometimes, yes. But this time I'm not talking about her." She squeezed my hand once. "America is an amazing girl. I hope you two find your way out. Else, amidst you two, some other will stumble upon a forced marriage. And that is going to be you."

"I take your advice to my heart, my dear. Is everything packed? Do you want something?"

"Nope. I'm leaving now. After lunch, that is."

"Good. Take your time saying your goodbyes. As of me, I'll try to remain in touch with you."

"You better do. I don't want to listen about all the palace gossips through the Report."

"Noted."

As I closed the door and was about to leave, I ran into Kriss. She was here which meant she was here to meet Natalie one last time. "Hey, Maxon." She murmured, giving me a big smile. Without giving me a hint, she threw herself at me. "I know it's inappropriate, but I was so worried since you didn't show yourself last night. She stepped away. "Where were you?"

"I was in a safe room on the first floor with America."

Her face fell. "Oh!"

"Yes. We were lucky we found a safe room."

"Well, I'm glad you're okay. America as well."

"Did you get my letter?"

"I did. And you needn't explain me. I understood. We'll plan it some time later. Don't worry about it."

"Thanks."

"How is she? She doesn't wants me around for the time but I can't leave her alone."

"She's fine—as fine as she could be. But I guess she's right. Let her be alone for a while. She'll come down later to join you all for lunch."

"I'll see her anyway." She promised. "Want to go somewhere after that?"

"I can't. I have some work to do."

"Okay."

Once she left me, I made my way to America's room. Her maids opened the door. They all looked dejected, their eyes red and swollen. I already had a good idea what happened— she isn't gone, she isn't gone—but still I asked "Where is America?", and the one with blond hair answered, "She just left, a few minutes ago. We were just about to pack her things so we could send it..."

I didn't hear what else she was saying. I walked away as fast as possible. Once she stepped out of the palace, it will mark the end. The cameras will capture it, and there will be talks. I won't be able to bring her back without making it appropriate or making a scene. Father won't stop rubbing that in my face.

Running as fast as I could, I descended the stairs two at a time. First I checked the garden, hoping she'll want to visit that place for the last time. She wasn't. Then I searched her through the ground floor.

I found her just in time. She was holding the handle, about to exit the palace.

"America?"

She turned around slowly. "Hey."

It was a pathetic attempt at greeting.

I said nothing for a moment, just gazed at her. If this was how she was to leave, then she was going for a bang. She had adorned a bluish grey gown, with straps at her shoulders and a skirt flowing down her waist. She looked absolutely regal. Royal. It was ironic, to see her dressed like a princess when she was about to exit, when she had denied it time again and again that she wasn't ready to become one.

"You look absolutely breathtaking." I murmured, walking over to her. More so. With her hair down and an innocent neckline, along with the sunshine falling on her that made hair look ablaze; and her almost nonexistent freckles making an appearance.

"Thank you." She murmured.

Thee was a breath of silence between us as none of us said anything. She kept looking elsewhere while I looked at her, taking in my fill. She looked stunning. And to think she loves me. Wants to stay with me if given a chance...

It was a good thing we were having another chance for us.

I cleared my throat. "I've spoken with my father."

"Oh?"

"Yes. He was quite happy that I wasn't killed last night." My forehead must look creased—that whag today's chat with father did to me. "As you might have guessed, carrying on the royal line is very important to him. I explained to him that I nearly died because of his temper and attributed my finding a hiding place to you."

"But I didn't—"

I smiled. For the first time I was out-doing my Father by modifying the truth. "I know. But he needn't."

She answered with a brilliant grin of hers.

"I then told him that I set you straight on some behavioural things." Her smile turned into a confused frown. "Again, he needn't know that's untrue; but you could act like it happened, if you wanted. Considering that I owe my life to you as far as he knows, he agreed that my desire to keep you here might be somewhat justified, so long as you were on your best behaviour and could learn your place."

She stared at me, dumbstruck. Maybe she didn't want to believe the truth, or didn't want to believe in false hope. Maybe she didn't like how I talked her out by pointing out her behaviour, or maybe it was something else...

I gave her another small smile, rambling. "Really, the fair thing to do is let Natalie go. She's not cut out for this; and with her family grieving right now, her home is the best place for her. We've already spoken."

She still didn't say anything.

I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of this situation. A few hours ago we both said our goodbyes, ready to leave the other with a glimpse of what our future could look like and confessing everything, and now here we were. Hoping once again. At least I was. She still hadn't said anything yet.

"Shall I explain?" Please say something.

" Please."

Reaching for her hand, I clasped it mine. I was having a hard time hiding my smile. "You would stay here as a member of the Selection and still be a part of the competition," her whole face changed as she gave a broad smile, "but things will be different." I pointed out. Things will be far more different; and difficult. "My father will probably be harsh toward you and do whatever he can to make you fail."

Really, there were no limits when Clarkson Schreave wanted something—even if that was to make someone feel unworthy or worthless.

"I think there are some ways to fight that, but it will take time. You know how ruthless he is." She had seen it yesterday, when she'd helped me remove my shirt. "You have to prepare yourself."

She gave me a nod of understanding. "I think I can do that."

"There's more." I said, looking at the carpet. I wanted to give her everything, but for the time being I couldn't. There were too many things in between us. "America, there's no question that you've had my heart from the beginning. By now you have to know that."

"I do."

Looking her in the eye, I said, "But what you do not have right now is my trust."

She blanched. " What?"

"I've shown you so many of my secrets, defended you in every way I can. But when you aren't pleased with me, you act rashly. You shut me out, blame me, or, most impressively, try to change the entire country."

She flinched, as if I've slapped her. But she needed to hear it. If there was any chance for us, it required both of us to act rationally. We can't be less aware. Not after Father's official comment of him looking at her.

"I need to know that I can depend on you. I need to know that you can keep my secrets, trust my judgment, and not hold things back from me. I need you to be completely honest with me and to stop questioning every decision I make. I need you to have faith in me, America."

She closed her eyes for a second, and with her eyes still closed, she nodded, releasing a long breath. She fiddled with my hands as she said, "I do have faith in you. And I hope you can see that I want to be with you. But you could have been more honest with me, too."

This time I nodded in understanding. Yeah, I could've done that, but it was time to get past over what happened and make sure it never repeats. "Perhaps. And there are things I want to tell you, but many of the things I know are of such a nature that they cannot be shared if there's even a minuscule chance that you can't keep them to yourself. I need to know that you can do that. And I need you to be wholly open with me."

She inhaled deeply to answer me, but ended up saying nothing.

Footsteps announced from behind us as someone came. It was Kriss. She turned a corner as she asked, "Maxon, there you are. I didn't get to ask you earlier if we were still on for dinner tonight."

I kept my eyes on America's as I told Kriss, "Of course. We'll eat in your room."

I arched a brow, telling her, this is what happened when you let me go. Now you have to face the consequences.

"Wonderful." At least someone sounded happy. Kriss finally reached us and stood beside me. "America? Are you really leaving?"

There was as much concern in her voice as much there was relief.

What had I done?

But there was nothing I could do now, other than playing along. Yes, I still needed a backup in case America ends up screwing things once again, but right now it didn't feel like it. I knew how insecure America can get. Considering how fast Kriss's and mine relationship had progressed, she would be even more concerned about us.

This was a big mess; but I couldn't do anything about it.

"No, Kriss, not today."

"Good." Unexpectedly, she hugged her tight. Considering the situation, I had no idea if it was just go impress me or she was really happy to have America around, but for the moment it seemed perfect. Kriss was a perfect lady, and she was genuinely happy for her, even if she wasn't totally on board with what had happened in just half an hour. "I was really worried about you last night. I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks, it was lucky... lucky the guards got there so fast."

"Thank goodness. Well, I'll see you later." She turned to me. "And I'll see you tonight." It wasn't a question. She was, as subtly as she could, showing America she had me as well.

I was worried about them. Of their friendship.

Once she was out, I explained America. "I know you don't like that, but I need her. If you let me down, she's my best bet."

"It doesn't matter," she gave me a shrug along with a small smile, "I won't let you down."

With that, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked back to the second floor, digesting everything.

She didn't turn back—not once.

And I decided, it'll be fine. It will have to be.

It was a new start. With all the complications and twists already known. Already conquered.