"Did it really have to be this early?" I yawned to myself as I headed towards the village gate.

The sun had barely been up for more than a couple of hours. I'd said my goodbyes to Minaeve and Bethany, who were just beginning to rise as I was heading out the door. Asaala had not been in the cabin, but I was not surprised, figuring she would be with the recruits. When I neared the Chantry on my way to the training grounds, I heard shouting and saw a crowd of people standing outside the Chantry doors.

"Your kind killed the Most Holy!" a voice raged.

"Lies! Your kind let her die!" another voice jeered.

"Shut your mouth, mage!" the other voice shouted back.

"Enough!" Cullen's voice shouted over the others.

Peering through the crowd that had formed, I saw that Cullen had pushed himself between a mage and a templar. The templar had his hand on his sword as if he were about to draw it. Cullen spread his arms out to separate them, applying pressure to the templar's sword arm to keep him from drawing it. I was glad to see he had his full armor on in case things escalated.

"Knight-Commander?" the templar asked in surprise, blinking a few times as he focused on Cullen's face.

Cullen looked at the templar, "That is not my title. We are not templars any longer. We are all part of the Inquisition."

A hush fell at Cullen's words, though the tension could still be felt as the mages and templars glared at each other.

"And what does that mean, exactly?" a sneering voice called from the crowd.

An aged man strutted forward, his face sneering beneath his Chantry hat as much as his voice. Disdain evident as his eyes flicked over Cullen and the scene before him.

"Back already, Chancellor?" Cullen asked sarcastically, equal disdain on his own face for the man, "Haven't you done enough?"

So this is Chancellor Roderick. Word had spread through the tavern shortly after Cassandra announced the Inquisition's reformation: Roderick had influenced those of the Chantry that remained into branding the Inquisition heretical. He must have travelled to Val Royeaux after Cassandra and Leliana had made it clear that they would not be arresting Ellana nor disbanding the Inquisition. It was a credit to the man for having the gall to show his face within the Inquisition's base after attempting to have us destroyed.

"I'm curious, Commander, as to how your Inquisition and it's 'Herald' are going to restore order as you've promised?" the Chancellor asked mockingly, egging the crowd on in its unrest as he folded his hands behind his back.

"Of course you are," Cullen growled, crossing his arms over his chest and spreading his legs.

I saw Ellana approaching Cullen and the Chancellor on their right, her face agitated and worn out. She looked disheveled, in desperate need of a bath, bed and a hot meal. I noticed a couple of cuts on her face, but no other obvious injuries. She'd gained a staff since the last time I saw her, which told me just how much Cassandra must have begun to trust her since sealing the Breach. With a flicker of appreciation, I looked over her armor that was clearly designed by Harritt with no input from Ellana as it was very human in concept; but she showed her defiance in being the Inquisition's painted peacock by not wearing any boots. How she could stand to be barefoot in the freezing cold of Haven was beyond me, but I admitted to myself that a part of me was proud of her for not giving herself up entirely.

"Back to your duties, all of you," Cullen commanded the crowd as Ellana reached the two men, his tone leaving no room for argument and the crowd quickly dispersing.

Ellana approached Cullen and the Chancellor, a quizzical look on her face as she looked between the two who could have been having a staring contest. I moved closer, leaning on the stone wall of the Chantry to observe the three.

"Mages and templars were already at war. Now they're blaming each other for the Divine's death," Cullen said to Ellana, his eyes leaving Roderick.

"Which is why we require a proper authority to guide them back to order," the Chancellor said in exasperation, throwing his hands in the air.

"Who? You? Random clerics who weren't important enough to be at the Conclave?" Cullen retorted as he faced the Chancellor again; his attitude being of an adult addressing a child throwing a tantrum.

"The rebel Inquisition and it's so called 'Herald of Andraste'? I think not," the Chancellor argued back, stepping into Cullen's space.

The man was either very self-assured or very foolish as his head barely came to Cullen's chest. Cullen wasn't phased in the least, only continuing to stare Roderick down.

"If the proper authority hadn't completely failed, the Conclave wouldn't have been needed," Ellana growled, she was clearly just as impatient with Roderick as Cullen, as she too crossed her arms over her chest.

Her stance didn't hold quite the same weight as Cullen's, however, as she was far shorter and slimmer. I had the wild image of a child imitating Cullen come to mind and had to bite back a laugh. If he did not so outweigh and overshadow her, she would have been just as intimidating. Years of a nomadic life did lend itself to a hard exterior. I doubted Roderick found any humor in the pair, instead being offended by Ellana's haughty demeanor and Cullen's irritability only rubbing salt in Roderick's wounds.

"So, you suggest I blame the Chantry and exalt a murderer?" the Chancellor spit at her, "What of justice?"

"That won't help restore order in the here and now," Cullen argued; though impatient, he was still trying to get the man to possibly see reason.

The Chancellor laughed, taking a step back, "Order will never be restored so long as this rebellion is allowed to fester."

"Explain to me why you're allowing the Chancellor to stay?" Ellana asked Cullen, exasperatedly.

"Clearly, your templar knows where to draw the line," the Chancellor sneered causing Ellana to stare daggers at him.

"He's toothless. There's no point in turning him into a martyr simply because he runs at the mouth," Cullen growled at Roderick before turning his head to Ellana, "The Chancellor is a good indicator of what to expect in Val Royeaux, however."

"How widespread is the violence between mages and templars?" Ellana asked Cullen.

"Impossible to say," was his response.

"Your organization flouting the Chantry's authority will not help matters," the Chancellor cut in.

"With the Conclave destroyed, I imagine the war between mages and templars is renewed," Cullen ignored the Chancellor, "With interest," he added, darkly.

"The mages and templars are fighting even though we don't really know what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes?" Ellana questioned more to herself than to the two men, her frustration and confusion obvious.

I envied her naivety in the mage and templar division. The Dalish had their own problems, but secluding themselves away from the rest of the world meant they got to be relatively free of its problems. In so doing, it also meant they only wallowed in their own issues and the wrongs committed against them instead of realizing that everyone had issues and had been wronged at some point.
I hoped that Ellana's being here and having no choice but to be involved would open her eyes to just how sheltered she really was amongst the Dalish. How their hurts, while real, did not diminish the hurts of others. Elves in alienages were horribly abused and hated as equally as Elves in Dalish camps; mages - no matter their race - rivaled for first place in hatred and distrust amongst every race, but at least we were given a decent home, education and protection - if we were lucky enough to be placed at a "good" Circle. Even the templars were used and abused by the Chantry to some extent. The dwarves that lived underground were even more secluded than the Dalish, though they were responsible for so many advancements in Thedosian society; they were also just as harsh in their excommunication of dwarves that left for the surface as the Dalish were harsh of the Elves that lived on the "outside". Qunari were simply feared.
Yet, I could tell Ellana walked around with an assumption that she was the only one who had ever faced hardship, rejection, or betrayal. That even if others had, their hurts would never compare to that of hers and her people. It was equally angering and saddening in my mind.

"Exactly why all of this should be left to a new Divine," the Chancellor cut in again, pulling me from my thoughts, he turned to Ellana, "If you are innocent, the Chantry will establish it as so."

"Or will be happy to use someone as a scapegoat," Cullen stated, sardonically, his eyes narrowing at Roderick.

"You think nobody cares about the truth?" the Chancellor shouted, "We all grieve Justinia's loss," his voice broke on the last word.

"Well, you won't grieve if the Herald of Andraste is conveniently swept under a carpet," Cullen growled, not backing down from his point.

"Hopefully Rylen doesn't let anyone riot while we're gone," Ellana joked, darkly.

"The walls will be standing when we return," Cullen replied, "I hope."

Ellana smirked before heading into the Chantry. Cullen grimaced at the Chancellor one more time before turning his back to the man to head into the Chantry himself. He paused when he saw me in his peripheral, his face softening before he waved me over.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting them to return before we left. Cassandra has called a meeting that I must attend," Cullen apologized, irritation lacing his voice, "It will be over shortly, I hope, and then we can be on our way. You can head down to the training grounds, I'll meet you there."

I nodded and watched as he entered. Ellana had waited for him just inside the doors, her eyes flicking away from me as she noticed my stare. I continued to watch the pair as they talked all the way into the room at the back of the Chantry that had been dubbed the "War Room." I was surprised that Ellana was treating Cullen so cordially, but was glad to see she was at least trying.

"Excuse me," a deep voice asked to my left, "Is this the base of the Inquisition?"

I turned to find a soldier in strange armor addressing me. The soldier removed their helmet at my attention, brown eyes met my own.

"Yes, can I help you?" I asked.

"I am representing The Bull's Chargers. My name is Cremisius Aclassi, second-in-command. The head of The Chargers, The Iron Bull would like to meet with the Herald of Andraste and potentially offer our services to the Inquisition," Cremisius explained in a serious tone.

"I see. At the moment, the heads of the Inquisition are in a meeting, but you are welcome to wait here if you'd like."

"I will, thank you," Cremisius bowed.

I turned to head on, "Excuse me, miss," Cremisius called.

"Yes?" I turned back to find Cremisius frowning.

"Heard word that Asaala Adaar of the Valo-Kas is here? Any chance you could direct me to where she might be? We might be rivals in business, but the Chargers wanted to offer our condolences to her."

"Of course. She's most likely assisting Captain Rylen with the recruits, I will send her your way if I see her."

"Thank you, miss," Cremisius bowed again.

I continued to walk down the worn path from the Chantry leading out of the village. I was quickly stopped again by the quartermaster, Threnn, who's concern was plain on her face despite her best efforts to conceal it. The woman was not an easy person to get along with, but her determination to see the Inquisition running smoothly and efficiently was true. I respected her near single-minded focus in caring for the people, even if she was terrible as showing that she cared.

"I'm sorry, but heard that your heading into the Hinterlands?" she asked, her heavily freckled face creased and fiery red hair threatening to come out of the cap she always wore.

"We are shortly, yes," I nodded, stepping in front of her tent.

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to pick some herbs? Perhaps locate a new logging site?" she asked, wearily.

"If I am able to do it whilst assisting the Commander, I will do so. What is it that you need?" I asked.

Relief flooded her face as she led me over to the large table next to her tent. Stacks of papers held down a map of the surrounding area that was partially covered by a large piece of parchment with a long list scribbled in a heavy hand. She tore off an empty corner of the parchment, scribbled a few things on it before taking the map from underneath and circling a few areas.
Her freckled hand extended with the scrap and the map. Upon taking it, I glanced over it quickly. I gave a quick breath of relief as the list she handed me consisted of the same herbs Bethany and I had discussed. The circles she'd scratched on the map were areas that would make good logging sites the scouts had reported.

"I will do my best," I smiled as I folded the map and placed it in my satchel.

"Commander," Threnn said as she jumped to attention.

I watched Cullen approach in my peripheral, his eyes on me for a moment. Cullen saluted Threnn and she relaxed as he came to my side.

"Are you ready?" he asked, a brow arching.

"Yes," I nodded to Threnn and followed beside Cullen.

"There's been a change in plans. We will be accompanying your sister and the others back to the Crossroads where they will depart for Val Royeaux," annoyance colored his features briefly.

"When will we be leaving?"

"Hopefully within the hour," annoyance in his voice.

"I suppose I'll eat before we head out then," I mentioned food to hopefully not only get him to eat, as I was sure he hadn't yet, but also to give him a distraction.

"Do you care if I join you?" Distraction accomplished.

"By all means, Commander."

...

"I apologize for what I said in front of the recruits yesterday. I didn't mean to embarrass you, but -" I nearly choked on my food, not hearing whatever he said last as I coughed.

We'd been eating in silence until he'd suddenly started speaking.

"Cul - Commander, you don't have to explain," I blurted after my coughing fit, not wanting to hear the rest.

He placed a gloved hand on my arm, coaxing me to look at him. He waited until I'd cleared my throat and taken a drink from my tankard.

"Its just…I am the Commander of the Inquisition's forces, after all, and you are a recruit under my command. I need my troops' respect and anything less than proper conduct towards those under my command would not garner it," he said, seriously, his eyes on my face.

I studied his eyes for a moment, having to convince my mind not to show the hurt I felt internally on my face. Of course he would think it inappropriate if we were to be too familiar. I understood, even if I despised it. Until I thought back to Kinloch Hold - he wasn't as worried about bending the rules then, but he had still never crossed a line in his conduct towards me.
This was different though, even if I didn't want to admit it. He was the Commander of the Inquisition's army. Not just a part of the ranks or just a templar on duty, but the head of the army. With that came rules and obligations, both spoken and unspoken. Perhaps it even went so far as him not wanting to commit the same mistake he had at the Circle.
But if there were any part of him that did think of me romantically, why had he been so quick to let me join the recruits if this was the inevitable stalemate of our relationship? He Commander, me subordinate. Friends, yes, maybe even flirtatious, but it could never go beyond that framework.

"Because he doesn't want you. You disgust him. You know it's true," a dark voice echoed in my mind.

He looked into my eyes as I let these conflicting thoughts play out, I withdrew my arm from his hand and asked, "How did you become the Commander?"

I kept my attention on my food, unable to look him in the eyes anymore. Deep down I knew he wouldn't want me. How could he? I was the one who wouldn't let go. Couldn't let go.
Fearing if I did, I would come to blame him for what happened in Kirkwall, even though I knew it wasn't true. I would poison my own thoughts until I convinced myself that I had suffered needlessly for the man I loved. Needlessly, because he would never return my affections. Either because he couldn't or had never felt the same from the beginning.
I determined in that moment that it didn't matter. I had chosen to follow him to Kirkwall not just because I loved him, but because he was my dear friend. If friendship was all he could give me, then friendship was what I would take and what I would give. He was a good man, wether he returned my feelings or not, who'd earned my loyal friendship. He'd been a true friend at the Circle, he'd saved me in Kirkwall, he'd been true after and here as much as he could be in the circumstances. Would I be any less true? If I were less true, did I really love him for him, not for what he could give me?
I met his eyes then, an unfamiliar look on his face that I couldn't discern. He'd told me what we could be, what he could give and yet he looked…unsure? Unsure of how I would accept the news, I determined. I prompted him to answer my question.

"I…I was recruited in Kirkwall," he began, clearing his throat, "after the uprising. The devastation it caused was horrific. Cassandra sought a solution and when she offered me the position, I left the templars to join her cause. Now it seems we face something far worse."

Frustration furrowed his brow as he drank from his own tankard, a long pull I noticed. I watched his throat as he swallowed, studied his strong hand as he held the tankard up to his full lips…friends, Meira, friends. He sat the tankard down, his gaze glancing out a window towards the Breach.

"The Conclave destroyed; a giant hole in the sky - things aren't looking good," I offered.

"Which is why we're needed," Cullen emphasized turning his attention back to me, "The Chantry lost control of both the mages and templars. Now they argue over a new Divine while the Breach remains. The Inquisition could act when the Chantry cannot," Cullen met my eyes - fire in his own - his food and drink forgotten, "Our followers could be part of that; there's so much we can-" Cullen cut himself off, looking a little embarrassed, "Forgive me, I doubt you wanted a lecture."

"No," I smirked, "but if you have one prepared, I'd love to hear it," I took a mouthful of food and propped my chin on my folded hands in mock anticipation for emphasis.

He chuckled, the tension in his face easing, "Another time perhaps."

I laughed at him and he seemed to go a little pink as he gave me a smirk. Friends. I can do this. I gave him a warm smile. We'd been just friends before, we could do it again.

Shifting in his seat, he stammered, "I-uh...there's still a lot of work ahead."

The man made it difficult when he looked so adorably flustered. His pink cheeks of embarrassment, jovial eyes, and being so unsure of himself.

"Commander?" Cassandra's voice called.

Cullen looked back at me, his eyes now alight with mischief and a smirk pulling his full lips, "As I was saying."

I laughed again as we stood from our table.

...

"Are we ready, then?" Cullen asked as we all grouped outside the village gate.

I had found Asaala and directed her to Cremisius. She thanked me before taking off, though assuring me she would return in time to leave with us. Ellana had agreed to meet with the Chargers, but wanted Asaala along given their history.
We'd packed only necessities to carry on our persons. Everyone had their best armor on, any repairs seen to by Harritt before we were to depart.

"Lead on, Curly," Varric replied, waving a hand when we were all ready.

"Curly?" Cassandra probed, her dark brows raised in bewilderment as she looked at the dwarf.

"Because of his hair? I would have thought that one to be obvious," Varric chuckled, a finger pointing to Cullen's hair.

Cullen looked uncomfortable and avoided my eyes. It's true his hair was curly, but it had been far more wild at the Circle tower. I wondered how it had become so tame, wishing I had the same luck with my own curls.

"More obvious than 'Chuckles'," Cassandra growled, exasperation with the dwarf on her face.

Cassandra was normally more collected, but I had noticed that Varric had a particular gift at getting under her skin.

"I must say, Master Dwarf, I rather appreciate the sentiment," Solas chuckled.

"What can I say? I'm endearing," Varric sighed, contentedly, a smug look on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Cassandra made a noise of disgust before striding over to Cullen. As we set out, Cassandra recounted how the straggling mages and templars had gone rogue: killing anything and everything in their path. Cullen feared even more what had become of the old horsemaster. Cassandra told us that we would have to escort Mother Giselle back with us on our return to Haven as she'd stayed behind to help the wounded at the Crossroads.
I observed the others as we journeyed along the road. Ellana was quiet and distant, watching us all curiously. Cassandra was moody and seemed only to be obliging Cullen in conversation.
Asaala and the seasoned soldiers Cullen had brought bringing up the rear. Her lightning eyes were constantly scanning our surroundings, her massive sword strapped down the column of her spine. She met my eyes momentarily and nodded. I began to look around, enjoying the large trees and plains we passed.

"So, here we are, elf, cleaning up another human mess," Varric sighed, obnoxiously.

"What would the Inquisition do without our stabilizing influence, Master Tehthras?" Solas ruefully responded.

"I assumed they'd just start burning things," Varric shrugged.

"That does sound like most humans I know," Solas mused, his long fingers holding his chin.

"If you gentlemen are quite finished?" Cassandra scolded, turning so her eyes glared daggers at the pair.

I had to stifle a laugh as it was like a mother scolding her young children that were misbehaving.

"Now, now, don't get touchy," Varric shook a stubby finger at her, "We're just here to lend you simple humans our help."

"Before you cause everything to explode," Solas chimed in.

"Again," Varric finished.

Apparently, those two had become thick as thieves in their last trip to the Crossroads. Cassandra continued to glare at them for a moment, before snorting in disgust. I could tell Cullen was fighting laughter as his shoulders were shaking. I was as well since the pair did have a point even if it was through a little poorly timed humor.
I looked back to see that even Asaala had a smirk on her face, Varric and Solas sending a glance my way. Ellana was staring off into the woods, her face unreadable. I returned to my perusal of the trees and plains, until I noticed in one of the plains familiar looking plants.

"Could we stop?" I hollered.

"What is it, Meira?" Cullen turned.

"There's some elfroot growing here, I'd like to harvest some," I said as I walked towards the first plant.

I stooped to uproot the little plant, storing it in my satchel before moving on to the next. I felt a heavy weight in my satchel and looked down to find Cullen placing another plant inside.

"Thank you," I smiled, glad for his help.

"Of course," he smiled back, the warmth of it lighting his eyes. Friends, Meira.

Together we harvested the plants, the others pitching in, leaving Asaala and Cassandra to stand guard. I was surprised to see Ellana helping. Within an hour, we'd gathered a large amount of various medicinal plants as we'd discovered more than just elfroot growing. Not as much as we needed, but enough to ease Bethany and I's stress.

"We can have one of the recruits return these to Haven when we reach our camp at the Crossroads," Cullen said as we set out again.

I nodded in response. He walked next to me, both of us quiet, but alert to our surroundings. Cassandra and Asaala were talking about weapons. Solas, Ellana and Varric were talking about elves.

"How is it, being away from the Circle?" Cullen asked.

"I spent the better part of my life there," I turned my face to him, "It feels...strange to be away."

"It does at times," he conceded, his gold-flecked eyes meeting mine, the dappled light making his hair shine gold, "I'm still getting used to it myself. It's been...interesting."

I was glad that I had stayed busy amongst the Inquisition, wether training, helping Minaeve or Bethany. I had no real time to sit and ponder what my life was supposed to look like now. I didn't have to consider what the future would bring when the future was in question of ever coming. I felt Cullen's doubt in his words, guessing that the transition had been far harder for him than he was letting on, even if he had chosen to leave the templar life.

"I can only imagine," I replied.

"So, you are actually Dalish?" a dark brow arched.

"While I was born to a Dalish clan, I do not consider myself Dalish. I was rejected by them and so I reject them," I couldn't help the growl that escaped at the end, fiddling with my vest in unease.

"What do you mean?"

"Our clan would only allow two mages at any time, to reduce the risk of attracting demons or templars. The Keeper is usually a mage and the First to the Keeper is the other. It is easier for our leader to be a mage as they can more easily pass on their knowledge to each generation. Ellana and I were the first mages born to our clan since the Keeper. Ellana proved the more gifted with magical talent when we were younger, so the choice was obvious; but the restriction and follow through was...traumatic. I was rescued by templars after a couple of children had kept me from being stoned to death by the townspeople after they caught me using magic. Earned me these," I pointed at the two scars on my jawline from where the first rocks had hit.

"I did wonder where you got those from," Cullen leaned in to look at them, his closeness causing my heart to skip a beat, "I am sorry."

"What about you?" I asked, curiously, "I know you're Ferelden, but you never really talked about your childhood."

I'd never probed him about it as whenever it had come up in conversation, he'd get a sad look on his face before changing the subject. I was not forthcoming with my past either, so it had never felt right to ask more of him than I was willing to give.

"I grew up near Honneleath and was recruited into the templars at a young age," he offered, a wistfulness about him as he mentioned Honneleath, "You know I was transferred to Kirkwall shortly after the Blight, but this is the first I've returned in nearly ten years."

"You haven't seen Ferelden in ten years?" I asked astonished, I hadn't realized how much time had passed since the Blight, "Are you glad to be back?"

"As I'm sure you know, I was not sorry to leave at the time," he shook his head, the wistful look gone, "I did not expect to return. Now between the Divine's murder and the Breach, I've arrived to find nothing but chaos. Much the same as I left it I suppose."

"Yes, between the Blight and Uldred's rebellion at Kinloch Hold," I stated, "How did his rebellion begin? I just remember coming out of the dorms to find the bloodshed had already begun, but -"

"- I prefer not to speak of it," Cullen deflected, his hand tightening on his sword hilt.

His face had paled and I realized that my words had brought him back to memories he didn't want to visit.

I scrambled for something else to talk about, wanting that look gone from his face, "Tell me about your time in Kirkwall then."

Just as quickly, he returned to normal, "So many questions," he teased, "While I was there, qunari occupied and then attacked the city. The viscount's murder caused political unrest. Relations between mages and templars fell apart, an apostate blew up the Chantry, the Knight-Commander went mad. Other than that it was fine," he said sarcastically.

"What happened between Kirkwall's mages and templars?" I asked, just wanting him to talk.

"You must have heard people speak of it?" a dark brow quirked at me, his amber eyes on me again.

"Yes, but you were there and I was...indisposed," I said gently, he looked away.

Cullen exhaled, "There was tension between mages and templars long before I arrived. Eventually, it reached a breaking point. There was fighting in the streets. Abominations began killing both sides. It was a nightmare."

I could tell he was obliging me in conversation for my sake, but remaining vague. I knew he most likely didn't want to share more than he already had because of the others, who seemed to have gone suspiciously quiet. While we spoke in hushed voices, I should have kept in mind that others were listening with the questions I chose to ask. I was just so glad to be able to really talk with him, I didn't want it to end.

So foolishly, I continued, "What happened then?"

"The templars should have restored order, but red lyrium had driven Knight-Commander Meredith mad. She threatened to kill Kirkwall's Champion. Turned on her own men. I'm not sure how far she would have gone. Too far," he rubbed the back of his neck.

"So you opposed her?" I quirked a brow at him.

"I stood with the Champion against her. In the end. But I should have seen through Meredith sooner," shame mingled in his features as he admitted that.

Wrong line of questions again.

Looking around, my eyes landed on Varric, "Varric's from Kirkwall. Did you two know each other?"

"He was friends with the Champion of Kirkwall, but we didn't interact much. We've spoken more recently, largely at Varric's insistence. Apparently, I spend too much time with a serious expression on my face and it's bad for my health," Cullen scowled.

I howled with laughter at that, at which Cullen let out a laugh too.

"You see Curly, so much better to let loose once in a while," Varric hollered at us.

Cullen scowled again and I tried to hide my laughter only to end up giggling behind my hand. Cullen glared at me, but it lost its effect when his lips twitched with a smile.

"I'm stuck with a bunch of children," Cassandra groaned, a gloved hand running over her face.

"Speaking of needing to let loose," Varric mumbled under his breath, jabbing a thumb in Cassandra's direction.

Solas and I chuckled.

I felt a stare and found my sister studying me, curious, but she looked away when our eyes met. I breathed deeply and kept moving forward.

...

The sky above was beginning to darken when we'd found an abandoned farmstead to set up camp. The house was in decent shape, good enough to protect us from poor weather and unfriendly eyes as we slept. We had determined to take turns keeping watch, just in case. I was setting out our bedrolls as Cullen set wood in the fireplace for Ellana to set aflame; Solas and Varric were off hunting; Asaala and Cassandra were boarding up the windows.

"Can I sleep next to you?" Ellana's voice asked softly so only I could hear.

I turned to look at her, surprised, pausing my rewrapping of my hands. The wounds were nearly healed. Ellana was flushed with embarrassment as my eyes studied hers. A part of me wanted to refuse, but my heart softened a touch.

"Sure," I pulled one of the bedrolls closer to mine.

Relief flooded her features and she looked softer in the flicker of the flames from the fireplace even though they made the white tree tattooed on her face glow.

"Dinner," Varric yelled as he and Solas came through the door, causing us both to turn to them.

Varric had four braces of rabbits slung over his broad shoulders, already skinned and gutted. We placed them on the spit that still remained in the fireplace and roasted them over the flames. My stomach rumbled at the smell of roasting meat.

"None of us have had a decent meal in a while," Cullen commented as he sat next to me, smirking as my stomach rumbled again.

"We'll have to mark this as a good spot for rabbit," I said, looking away from him to hide a blush.

He'd removed his armor in anticipation for sleep, Asaala volunteering to take first watch despite Cullen's objections.

"Indeed," he chortled as my stomach rumbled again.

...

I licked my fingers as I finished my meal, savoring the taste.

"This reminds me of when we were children," Ellana said softly, a small smile on her face as her jade eyes met mine.

"I suppose it does," I nodded, blocking the memories of us in our tent with Ma and Da.

"Meira, it was not easy -" Ellana began, a sad look on her face as a hand reached out.

I put a hand up, "Do not finish that sentence," I growled.

"Please, Meira," Ellana murmured.

I looked at her hard and her face fell as she looked away, her hand dropping to her lap.

"So, tell us about your childhood," Varric's gravelly voice asked.

I glared icily at him. He simply smirked in response.

"I take it that it was not the happiest of times?" Solas chimed in, chuckling.

"Our personal history is just that: personal," I bit out at the two of them.

"Seems to me that you need to air out the dirty laundry," Varric said, bemusedly, taking another bite of his food before adding, "It'd make you feel better."

"Stay out of it, dwarf," I bared my teeth.

"You're a feisty one, aren't you?" he asked, trying to get a rise out of me.

"I simply do not think it's necessary for you all to know the intimate details of our lives."

"Too bad, I like intimate details," he shrugged, leaning forward.

I said nothing, but grimaced at him which only caused him to smile wider. I fought down the urge to punch his squash nose that had already been broken once. I felt a soft touch on my arm.

"Sister, please - " Ellana begged, causing my vision to go red.

"I am not your sister," I spit, "I haven't been for a long time."

"Meira -" Ellana whispered, her face stunned as if I had just slapped her.

I brushed off her hand and stood, stalking outside. I ignored all the eyes on me. Breathing in the crisp night air, I fought the hot tears trying to form. Too late, I realized I'd come out in only my tunic and leggings. Goosebumps bloomed across my skin as I shivered. I tried summoning some fire to warm myself, but nothing would come. I refused to go back in, so I rubbed my arms to try and force some warmth to develop. I felt a heavy weight on my shoulders and inhaled deeply the scent of oakmoss, elderflower and something else I couldn't put my finger on. I felt my tension ease a fraction.

"I thought you might be cold," Cullen's voice murmured behind me.

He'd draped his fur mantle around me, it was still warm from his body heat.

"Thank you," I said softly, resisting the temptation to nestle my face into the fur.

He nodded and left to head back inside, but I heard him inhale and turned. His amber eyes looked into my eyes, a sad light in them.

"For what it's worth, I pushed my family - everyone who cared for me - away after Kinloch Hold. I deeply regret it. I wish for nothing more than to have leaned on them; to have clung to them. It doesn't do to be alone in the world," with that he headed back inside.

Losing the battle, I let the tears fall.

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