Summary:
Eldra and Maul meet their fate as they tie up loose ends.
Notes:
Warning for sensitive topics: embryonic life/sentience. Death, sacrifice.
It's a long one and I apologize for your tissue budget 😥
Good luck everyone!
Chapter 5: Balance
The planet's surface was nothing but oceans which couldn't have been so bad if the sunlight could shine through the thick storm clouds. It looked like oceans of dark clouds on top of black tumultuous waters. It rained so much against the canopy that Eldra barely noticed anywhere to land.
A strong wind gust made the ship deviate from its trajectory and she bared her teeth at Maul, whose hands held tightly on the steering handles to keep them steady through the bad weather conditions.
"Stabilizers," he said, pointing his chin briefly at switches on her side of the dashboard.
Eldra was quick to activate all of them. The ship kept itself from heaving or swerving less abruptly from that point.
"And people live here," she lamented, "I guess it can't be worse than an asteroid field."
Maul responded by a cringing of his lips in a grimace already accentuated by his skin markings. His attention was completely focused on flying the ship towards their objective on the scanners: a complex of platforms built on stilts where buyers had posted a request for those embryos they carried. Eldra had sensed the life present in those cryogenic crates and was still not convinced that they would belong in just any hands.
Those embryos were life forms, taken from genitors, biological parents or perhaps created in a lab somewhere for some secret project. She had tried doing research for it but without any connections to underworld dealings her answers were limited. Maul had seen the black market auction page and that had been enough for him to locate potential buyers.
There was a lab on Kamino and its description on the Holonet only mentioned genetic research and engineering. Eldra wished she had paid more attention in biology classes at the Temple because she was sure she had heard the Jedi Master say something about genes and life and babies. She couldn't remember anything extensive but lab-grown babies were a possibility that she had been too young to be interested in.
The storms seemed to calm slightly when the signal lights of red and white blinked on the horizon. Suddenly a large, wide and long creature filled the view with its wings as it passed above the freighter, making Eldra startle in surprise. The flying creature flapped its wings towards the floating structures and she noticed a biped riding it on a saddle.
"We are being guided," Maul explained, giving her a quick side-eye at her reaction. "Did that scare you?"
She scowled at his mocking smile when he flew the ship more confidently before landing. For the past rotations he had been doing a lot more of that in front of her, baring his teeth that looked whiter by the day.
So what? Does he want a medal?
The platform was tagged as "Kamino City" in the comms monitor, a wide complex of platforms and circular buildings with towers. The sea creature and its rider spun in the air over a specific landing pad for them to touch down.
When they were securely tethered to the platform by ship maintenance droids, they regrouped in the cargo hold. Maul held up a datapad in front of the pile of crates before snapping a holopicture. Eldra let out a sigh. After prolonged time in company of these thousands if not millions of tiny little innocent lives she did not want to simply hand them over to strangers for a handful of credit chits.
"Thank you," she sighed.
The Sith beside her raised an interrogative brow at her. He took on his usual irate expression as he stowed his data device in his belt.
"Is something wrong, my lady?" he grumbled.
"No, I just..." She felt tempted to drop the subject, assuming he wouldn't care to understand. "You know, these could be people, someday."
He returned a sceptical glare, almost condescending towards her and she felt like a simple-minded fool. She shook her lekku at her own discredit.
"Let's just see what these Kaminoans have to say about them."
"I could bring a sample for analysis," he offered, "it is a lab, after all. But we could be walking into a trap."
"I agree... I confess, I'm way out of my depths here, Maul."
He acquiesced, stretching his mouth and replied flatly. "Very out of your depths, padawan. And here comes the ever predictable eye-rolling."
"Stop it," she said, fighting not to laugh at his observations. "I was thinking that maybe I should stay here while you investigate."
The storm still raged outside the ship, letting them know with a thunderous roar and a crack of lightning. Somehow the prospect of hearing those sounds by herself felt worse than standing against the blood and golden irises constantly watching her.
"You are coming with me," Maul commanded, "we have almost no information about this place or the work being done here. I could go alone, but for the transaction we need to show strength."
She dug her hands in the deep pockets of her parka, sensing an ounce of doubt in his voice. She decided that he needn't know she was aware of it.
"Alright," she said. "I have my blaster ready to protect you, my lord... Ahah, who's rolling their eyes now?"
She beamed, happy with herself as he punched the switch to open the loading ramp and started descending before it was completely deployed. Bring her large hood over her head she trailed behind him under the battering rain.
They walked briskly along the pathway from the landing platform to the main round building. Pulling her hood by the brim to protect her face from the rain, she envied Maul whose own cover was kept down by his crown of horns. Yet he walked more hurriedly than usual in order to get to shelter.
The transparent glass doors slid open on approach. Eldra felt a temperate and dry climate controlled air run through her, ridding her clothes of moisture in seconds. They were inside a large, bright hall where the light with glossy walls and floors so clean she wondered if she had to remove her boots before walking in.
Two Kaminoans appeared at the other end of the hallway, tall creatures with long necks, arms and small reptilian grey heads.
"Greetings, visitors," said the one with a crest on his head. "I am Prime Minister Lama Su and this is Taun We, administrator of this facility."
"We understand your desire for discretion," said Taun We in a female, soft voice. "Also we prefer to deal with officials, but this is a grave matter."
Lama Su continued. "The genetic material that you have acquired, is it still in your possession?"
Maul had not said a thing and simply pulled out his datapad to show them the picture he had just taken.
The long-necked aliens peered at it for a second then nodded to each other.
"These must return to your laboratory for further inspection," said the prime minister. "You will accept payment in Republic credits, yes?"
Eldra stepped forward before Maul could speak. "What are they?" she asked, raising their suspicion as they flicked their eyelids at her. "These embryos, what do you use them for?"
The female administrator tilted her head at her as if she were a child.
"We use them for research and production, of course. Millions of people across the galaxy are in demand for engineered offspring, this material is invaluable."
She faced Maul's conflicted expression when he turned his eyes towards her. If only she could read his mind.
"These specimens have been commissioned and paid for," added Lama Su. "Their shipping cargo was stolen not so long ago in Hutt space. You will receive a fraction of that payment for returning them."
"We are in agreement," Maul said without waiting.
"Wait," Eldra started again. "Tell us you will be sending them to their rightful parents and families, and won't just keep them in storage for harvesting materials."
The prime minister joined his long fingered hands in front of him with an expression of scorn on his smooth face.
"Your questions do not honor your discretion, young Twi'lek. Perhaps you could, as a sign of good faith, take a tour of our facilities, maybe provide us with a DNA sample if you are so curious of our methods."
She felt her heart run from how much it unsettled her to be mocked and challenged in this way, she held her fists at her sides as she stepped forward in defiance.
"I-..." Interrupted by Maul who held her wrist in a steel grip, she kept her eyes on the Kaminoans who had to bend their necks to look at her. "These are living beings, and they are waiting, they are agonizing to be whole and safe. You have no idea what you're doing."
"Then let us send them where they belong, young lady."
She blinked her eyes dry and Maul released her, and she massaged her wrist as she stormed out of the building.
The rain on her face and the sound of the wind through the city, the waves of the ocean made her inner turmoil seem insignificant. She let her tears flow down her cheeks as she looked at the freighter.
Part of her didn't want to be separated from these microscopic lifeforms she had assimilated in her mind to invisible companions. Perhaps she was being selfish and was blind to reason.
A minute later Maul came outside and walked in front of her carrying a hard white case by a handle. He stopped to seek her attention.
"Come, we have work to do."
She reluctantly followed him, looking at the container, guessing it was the payment.
They loaded the crates onto a hover lift for the droids to take back to the lab. The entire time, she attempted to brush a light contact with the undeveloped beings within the cryo-containers, but the Force was quiet, as if they knew what was happening.
Perhaps it was all in her head and she was projecting her own fears of displacement, taken from her family on Ryloth, torn from her Jedi brethren to be made a slave. Her whole world was that ship and a strange man she was afraid to leave because of their unfinished business.
Sitting alone in the empty cargo hold she practiced a light meditation phase, daring not to meld with the Force, but to quiet her mind. Maul returned from the outside and brought the ramp to close after himself.
"We are refueled," he announced curtly.
Eldra leaned on her knees, cupping her chin in her palm.
"I enjoyed this little distraction," she teased.
"Pardon me if I do not share your opinion," he told her, "you did not seem to be happy with anything that occurred here."
"Well, it could have gone worse."
He tilted his head at her before walking towards the corridor.
"Let's not waste more time. I doubt the Kaminoans appreciate lowly smugglers such as ourselves overstaying our welcome."
Their loss. She wanted to smile but only made herself feel sad about her ordeal. She had become a criminal, or an accomplice to one.
"So, are we rich?"
She sat in the co-pilot's seat as per her new habit while Maul took out his datapad again while the ship started its load up sequence.
"Very," he answered simply.
"Still want to change ships then?"
"We could, but so far we have not been tracked down. And our sensitive cargo is dealt with."
She felt another pinch in her heart at the mention, she tried not to look too harshly at the Kaminoan city in front of them. Bringing her nails to her lips it brought his attention on her.
"You could feel the life force of these embryos. You understood them?"
"Couldn't you?" she returned his question.
His eyes squinted at her. "I could sense them, but they did not feel sentient to me."
Eldra hesitated to confide what she had felt, how she was able to communicate without words, only emotions, the vibrations of her own life force. The feelings came back to her like a wave.
"Maybe I can explain it later," she worded through a tight throat.
As badly as she wanted to isolate herself again, she fought to maintain composure while they took off and she assisted Maul flying the ship through the treacherous atmosphere of Kamino.
Once in the vaccum of space making the ship float free of tension, Eldra allowed herself to breathe her relief.
Across from her in the cockpit, Maul gave no sign of winding down. Their gazes locked, she started feeling remorse and grief. The remorse from him that she understood was about seeking her in an attempt to prove himself against a Jedi. And grief, she couldn't identify its cause. Perhaps Maul was mourning something or someone he lost.
"We have to go back to Drazkel," she gently suggested. "I will deal with Xrexus, then I'll find my lightsaber and we can finish what we started."
That sinking feeling again, every time she mentioned their duel. His black and crimson brow creased but his rage was nowhere to be found. Maul simply looked at her until he moved to program calculations to navigate back to Hutt space. Once the engines brought them into hyperspace he stood and left the cockpit in an oppressive silence.
Eldra spent the next hours reviewing her memories, reliving what went wrong and the things she could have changed to increase her chances of survival. Then there were certain things that had been outlandish and off-putting at the time: his patience when teaching her how to fix circuitry, his spontaneous chivalry and unabashed politeness.
His warmth when he would take her hand and look into her eyes on Gamorr.
There would have been worse ways to live her last days, yet it wasn't any less painful.
.
They found the Xrexus cartel ship near Nar Shaddah before they were supposed to make a secondary jump for Drazkel. No ship this size could go unnoticed but those who approached it without invitation risked death.
"Can't we just blow it up from space?" she wondered.
"What if Xrexus is not on board?" Maul asked, starting the descent towards their assigned landing pad.
Eldra almost shrugged off the question until she came to the admission that she was being foolish.
"You're right..."
"Not to mention that the range on this ship's laser guns is very limited. We would barely make a dent on those shields... Unless we set it on a ramming course."
She scoffed and stifled her voice when she heard a bout of emotion coming through. And Maul's ears perked at it as well, focusing on her again instead of landing the ship.
"Then we go on foot," she finally said if only to reset his priorities.
Before the engines powered down she had made her way to the crew quarters in order to prepare for what she had to do. She put on the clean black top she used to wear under her Jedi robes, with the sleeves cut off for maximum movement. Splashing water on her face in the refresher she couldn't shake the tiredness around her eyes, sniffling even after her skin had dried.
Her only weapon was the blaster she retrieved from someone's bag. While she remembered her marksman training she hadn't practiced shooting in so long, she didn't feel confident about blasting through an entire criminal cartel to reach her target. She used the belt and holster that belonged the previous owners of the ship.
Killing Xrexus was the only thing on her mind if it was the last good thing she could bring to the galaxy, some form of justice for herself and the many lives that had perished from the actions of that vile woman. The thought of revenge galvanized her, made her forget her lack of sleep and her mental exhaustion.
Maul was in the cargo hold waiting for her in a cross-legged meditation when she was ready to go.
He had his hooded cloak on and she had decided against wearing the large jacket.
"Yes, this is what I'm wearing," she said under his unspoken scrutiny. "This is Nar Shaddah. Plenty of pirate Twi'leks around, I'm sure."
She slapped the button to lower the boarding ramp. Maul took the lead.
"We won't be able to dodge Xrexus goons so we will be swift and deadly. No negotiations."
They walked a hundred yards to find the next landing pad leading to a docking walkway to the ship. The two guards that blocked that bottleneck entrance choked on their own warnings and collapsed in silence. Their bodies slid over the ledge of the platform and fell to their demise at the endless pits of Nar Shaddah's underground.
Eldra fought for air as she felt the blunt of the Dark Side surrounding Maul when he executed his victims one by one, pulling them out of the hangar bay so they would join their comrades in the urban abyss. Not a single shot was fired and they entered the ship unperturbed, unscathed.
The cargo hold was full of steel shipping containers from floor to ceiling. Large sealed boxes with a minimal air recycling system near their top. Eldra sprung to a jog as she went to the closest prison, placing her bare hands against its cold surface.
"Is someone there?" she asked in a breath, not daring to speak up. "Answer me, please. I need to know, that way we can save you."
She sensed the many, too many lives trapped in those dark cages, full of despair and numbness.
Then she heard the voices, one by one as they spoke in Huttese, Rylothian, Rodian... She couldn't make out their individual cries for help and she stepped away from the storm of their fists banging on the metal walls.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her knees trembling at the surge of emotions coming back to her.
A laser bolt fired from across the hold, echoing against the bulkheads and she turned around as quickly as she could when she should be ducking. That shot was aimed at her. Time sluggishly slowed as she saw the green plasma bolt heading for her when a shriek of a lightsaber ignition bathed her vision with red and a blinding flash.
The bolt was deflected and returned to its sender, killing the henchman at the opened gates of a hallway. Eldra pulled out her own blaster and started shooting at more incoming mercenaries from the cover of Maul's spinning saberstaff. Her fighting instincts kicked in, directing her aim towards a different entry point. She held the pistol steady with both hands, lining up the sights to the moving targets and pulled the trigger to release multiple consecutive shots. If she missed, she was sure at least one bolt had hit when the guards fell.
Once the wave of armed guards was dealt with they proceeded deeper within the cartel ship. Combat droids were also deployed but were not fitted against Maul's powers as they were crushed in one second, one wave of his free hand.
Passed crew living areas they met more of Xrexus's men and in the confined spaces, Maul's double-bladed lightsaber provided a complete shield for the both of them. Eldra picked off runners with her gun while Maul advanced, slashing through bodies, dismembering their assailants without a moment's hesitation. Their shouts of pain and cries of horror only made him more eager to kill, walking faster and using the Force to add to the punishment of working for the wrong people. Eldra couldn't stop and think about what she was seeing, who she had accepted to help her in a quest of vengeance. She used his boldness to strengthen her resolve: now was not the time for a crisis of conscience.
Finally, they arrived at the palace reception. A wide open space with luxurious plants, trees, crystal sculptures and fountains. It had been packed with rich auction bidders and crime syndicates, merely days before, where Eldra had been sold to the Black Sun to be their plaything. Maul had been there, too, but she hadn't seen him among the crowds.
More guards arrived from the visitor's hangar bays, four doors had opened at the same time. Maul took a defensive stance, giving his saberstaff a threatening twirl.
"Stay behind me," he said in a low voice.
A dozen of them arrived, shooting frantically and screaming commands.
"It's them!" they said. "Kill the Jedi!"
"The girl is vulnerable, take her!"
Grunting with rage, she fired her gun without aiming, releasing her anger and somehow each of her shots landed in critical body parts, effectively killing her enemies.
At her back, Maul deflected all incoming shots with his Sith weapon. Eldra took his example but in a limited way, she used a push of the Force to incapacitate incoming fighters and block flying projectiles. A set of dark steel dagger fell at her feet as she did so, blades that were intended for Maul had she not raised her Force shield. She quickly picked up the blades, tucking them in her boots before Maul motioned for her to keep pushing forward.
They took a smaller door at the end of the auction room, leaving it in a chaos of ruin, bodied and cinders. The sudden absence of blaster fire and with only the hum of Maul's lightsaber Eldra felt the Force clinging to her, awaiting her command, almost making her itch to bend it to her will.
I will not fall. Not now.
"They're all dead," she panted, slowing her step. "Xrexus..."
"This way."
He deactivated his lightsaber. She followed Maul up a maintenance ladder and reached a small crawl space where they could only crouch as they progressed between floors. It smelled like cooked food when they stepped above a room filled with people talking fearfully in hushed tones. They kept going until Maul stopped and presented an open palm before lifting a finger to his closed lips. Eldra warily watched his golden irises in the darkness as he took his lightsaber in hand.
It cut a perfect circle through the vent tunnel, an entry way to a room they dropped into. It was dim if not for a floor to ceiling bay window through which Nar Shaddah shone its city lights.
She was there, in her white attire, standing with her back to them as she sipped wine and chuckled darkly.
"The Jedi and her rescuer. How charming."
Eldra pulled up her pistol and marched in front of Maul, towards the wretched slaver, biting hard to keep her arm from trembling in a frenzy.
"Everyone's dead," she said to her with scorn in a voice she didn't recognize as hers. "You caused this. You should suffer for it."
"So the padawan is learning, finally." Xrexus turned her head over her shoulder and set her empty glass down on a table. "You should be thanking me. After all, I brought the two of you together. A pity my life won't last long enough to see where this goes."
Unable to control her expression, her lips retracting from her teeth as she was pained to breathe. Her arm shook so she used both hands to hold the weapon, ready to shoot point-blank into the back of Xrexus's head.
"What are you waiting for, child? Is this why you brought the Sith with you, to do your dirty work?" The blond-haired cartel leader chuckled again and took a step back, pressing her spine against the muzzle of the blaster pistol. "Is that better?"
Eldra stepped away, walking backwards as she lost her focus, overwhelmed by all of the pent-up emotions she had contained in the wake of this moment. Xrexus turned around to face her, and she brought her head back and laughed. She laughed with her mouth wide open, mocking Eldra.
She had so much darkness and turmoil in her heart that she did not notice Maul coming between them. Xrexus parted her wrinkled painted lips to speak again but gagged. Maul had his gloved hand wrapped around her frail throat. Eldra fought to regain control of her thoughts as she watched him choke the woman without even blinking or straining himself. Xrexus tried to cough or pull at his steel grip to free herself, but her skin took a purple hue and her eyes almost bulged out in terror.
Eldra could not watch and turned her eyes away. She heard the cartilage and bones crack, then it was over.
She had no time to look at the corpse on the floor that Maul turned and made for the door, igniting his blades.
"Eldra."
Her unblinking eyes were lost in the void in front of her through the window. Her slaver and torturer was dead and she felt nothing. Not even relief.
"The people in the cargo bay," Maul said. "We need to hurry."
The innocents that were still trapped in the containers. Raising her brow she straightened herself and went out of the dreadful room. They made their way back using different routes and met no other armed guards, only workers, repair droids and slaves who cowered at their sight.
They were finally back at their starting point. Maul inspected the locking systems on the container and used his lightsaber to break the durasteel doors from their bearings. He moved from one cage to another, opening the doors where they detected living beings.
Eldra almost felt nauseated at the smells of many days, or weeks spent in confinement. Hundreds of people, adults and children of all races were mixed in those shipping containers.
They thanked her and Maul, even though their faces were full of fear, sickness and exhaustion.
"Xev Xrexus is dead," she told them. "The ship is yours if you'll take it."
Maul came back to her, he was done opening all of the cages, intending to leave soon. Eldra turned away from the liberated slaves and quickly caught up with her ally.
They reached the platform and he walked calmly the rest of the way to their light freighter. She matched his pace assuming they would attract less attention onto themselves should anyone look for suspects. It was the first time she had left a trail of bodies, the first time she had gone somewhere with the intent to kill. She could reason with herself that all of these henchmen knew what they were going against, working for the Xrexus cartel. Still, it didn't make their last moments any less sad or upsetting.
At least, they had freed the slaves. Then why didn't she feel at peace?
She kept to her bunk aboard the ship as it was hiding in hyperspace. Her meditation efforts had been vain, as all she could see were the silver eyes of Xev Xrexus, hear her nasal voice when she taunted her, and she felt her cowardice when she stepped away and let Maul do the worst in her place.
"Am I using you?" she asked, weak, not daring to face the man who stood leaning against the doorframe. "I could have never done all of this on my own."
He let a moment pass in the calming hum of the hyperspeed engine before answering.
"All of our choices lead us where the Force wants us to be."
Processing the idea, she rubbed her hands on her bare arms and frowned, looking at her feet. She had been out of balance for far too long, her connection to the Force was suffering from it.
"Does the Force want me to fall to the Dark Side?"
Another silence, but she noticed his slight shift in his stance.
"That is up to you, Eldra. But should you choose that path, you would discover new abilities and powers never attainable from Jedi teachings alone."
She pinched her lips as she remembered watching her hands and weapon being guided to take lives without even thinking. The rush of battle made her oblivious to the change that had started, that her control over her emotions was gone by the time she had faced Xrexus.
"Your emotions give you strength," he continued. "But you must not let them control you, or be used against you."
She heard the phantom laughter again, that throaty laugh of mockery. Instead of using her hatred against her enemy, Eldra has used it against herself.
Tears welled in her eyelids and she circled her knees in fetal position on her cot.
Don't cry in front of him. Don't be the coward that you feared you would be.
She should have thanked him at least. Instead, she was left alone to mope and feel sorry for herself.
.
When she woke up again they were out of hyperspace and Maul made her prepare for landing. Drazkel. Just as she had asked, Maul brought them to retrieve her lightsaber. They pinpointed the precise location where they had found the vacant Gozanti freighter. The plateau was littered with ship carcasses, stripped to the bone by passing scavengers.
"That's where you tried to bury me," Maul said almost pleasantly as he pointed to a pile of rubble. "That's where we'll find your weapon."
Eyes focused on the canopy, she extended her Force connection to her kyber crystal and nodded, confirming that he was right.
"Well, here goes nothing."
The ramp lowered and showed them the surface of the desolate moon where it had all started. Eldra stood at the top edge, stuck in a confused miasma of doubt and refusal to go on with the plan. At her side, Maul stepped down and turned to her. His gloved hands stayed at his sides but his face was stern and oddly patient.
Feeling beside herself she walked down the ramp to step on the moon and go to where she felt the presence of her imprinted crystal. She wanted to hold her lightsaber again, an intrinsic extension of herself as a Jedi padawan, a warrior in training, a fighter. She needed to see its powerful blue light, comforting and hopeful. Using the Force to lift the rocks and dirt she found the silver hilt that had sustained a few scratches but nothing too serious. She cautiously climbed down the small rocky hill to meet flat grounds and held her weapon so that he could see.
Maul stood ten paces away from her and made no move to come closer, to inspect her weapon together, and maybe make a sarcastic comment. His expression was neutral.
In her head and in her heart, Eldra wanted to explode and fade into nothingness. A single tear rolled down her face and dried almost instantly in the wind.
She looked up at the sky, where stars and the sun shared a hemisphere. She thought about her master. Her padawan friends who somehow felt like strangers, who never really knew her.
She raised her weapon and felt tempted to throw it as far as she could into the canyon, but she didn't want him to think of her as a coward.
She couldn't bring herself to fight someone who had done everything to build her up and make her want something out of life again.
"Thank you," she tried to tell him but her voice was stuck in a whisper. She cleared her throat, trying with difficulty to appear respectful. "Thank you for helping me, Maul."
He gave her a single nod, closing his eyes. When he opened them again his saberstaff was ready with both blades extended.
Pain tore at her face and blurred her vision. All of her strength left her body and she stood with just the bare minimum. She watched through her tears Maul slowly circling to meet her in a fighting stance, silent, heartless and void of all emotions.
"Talk to me," she cried, begging, "please... I don't recognize you. Maul, say something!"
I don't want to die like this.
Unable to hold it any longer she dropped to her knees and bore her soul out, hands covering her face as her hilt rolled to the ground.
It wasn't very long before she heard steps in the sand in front of her, a hand grabbing hers to place the metal cylinder of her saber back in her palm, enclosing it to make sure she wouldn't let go. She looked up and saw him kneeling so close that she smelled the fabric of his black robes.
His gaze was stern, gloomy as if he was disappointed. As she expected him to be, because she refused to fight him.
"Maul," she whimpered. "Why is this happening... Why do we deserve this fate?"
He looked at her with a hard stare but still he did not speak. Her hand was starting to hurt in his grasp and he pulled it up until her hilt reached his chest.
"No..."
She pulled back her hand in horror moving her fingers away from the activation switch, but he kept her arm locked in place, holding her by the shoulder.
"Yes," he whispered. "It is the only choice for you. You live, and you get your freedom."
"No, no, no!" She hurt her knuckles as she managed to release herself. "I am already free, don't you remember? I chose to follow you."
His face contorted with the first sign of true emotion in many days.
"I will never be free!" he groaned, catching her arms strongly and she saw the pain in his eyes. "I would condemn you to a life of darkness. You are of the Light, Eldra. That's why you couldn't kill Xrexus, and that's why you couldn't control the Dark Side."
He made her take her lightsaber again and pressed it against his chest, between his two hearts.
"I refuse!" she told him, clutching at his hands. "I can't..."
"I couldn't do it either," he hissed with rage. "It is against the Sith code. Only an enemy can take my life."
She heaved and cried in grief as she exhaled, looking up at the stars again. He followed her gaze but for only an instant.
"I'm not your enemy," she sighed, squeezing his fingers so that he could feel her touch. "I could never hurt you."
"Someone else will do that if you don't," he said, and eased a hand up to her face. The light in his eyes had gone dim. "I would rather it be you."
Overwhelmed, she was baffled to feel his acceptance, the peace he thought he wanted in death. The same peace she had asked for in desperation and misery. Eldra leaned into his hand and covered it with her own, closing her eyes.
Why would I kill a Sith who trusts me more than his master?
With the back of her right hand she felt the warmth of his chest through the layers of robes, and the double-time beating of his hearts against his ribcage and muscles. Breathing deeply, listening to his breath and feeling his heart beats she fell into a light Force trance. Her left hand moved to mirror him and she reached up until she felt his face. His skin was smooth and her fingers met the edge of his cheekbone, and his strong jawline and part of his ear. She heard him breathing harder and she felt the same intensity as if her energy exchanged with his like a current.
She felt his other hand touching her face and she only then registered that she could let go and put her weapon away. Her heart was running wildly now that he held her so, so close and he brought his head to her forehead. She felt the gentle touch of his frontal horn, his nose against her nose as they breathed the same air.
In her mind's eye she saw darkness, but also fire. A sinking sensation that lingered and stuck to the bone. Loneliness. Fear. Despair. Wanting to be cared for and loved. But pain, a lot of pain held all of it buried and kept in the dark. Unable to take anymore she placed her free hand against his hearts and thought intently about her hope for a life shared, to have moments of joy and common goals. To take care of one another like they did on their stolen ship.
She felt his body shake in tremors of grief. Opening her eyes again, she broke their mental bond to look at him clearly, to know that he needed time to process what he felt, too.
"How could it be?" he lamented, searching her gaze as he let go of her. "Why would you want to share your life with me?"
She fought to appear strong despite the pain she saw in him, how hard he fought to stay alive despite absolute destruction and a promise of more suffering. She squeezed his forearms to give herself the courage to speak her feelings.
"Because you saved me for the second time. I owe you," she spoke out, finding her strength back. "And I care about you."
Sceptical of what he heard he raised a brow and a corner of his mouth. Eldra felt her hands being grabbed again but this time, very softly. It made her sigh with comfort.
"You can see far more than I ever could, Eldra."
His eyes searched away from her and as soon as she felt him relinquish his hold of her hands she fell into him.
It was foolish, pointless even, but she wanted to feel him against her completely, to settle her racing thoughts and let her heart speak. With her arms tightly wrapped around his wide shoulders she felt his warm breath in her neck, against her lekku until she felt his touch around her back.
She had needed this for so long she couldn't fathom letting him go for fear of seeing him fall again into the dark pit of despair she had seen in his mind. He held on to her, she could feel his large hands running along her spine and shoulder blades, his pulse increasing against her breast.
"I wouldn't know what to do without you," she whispered.
She gasped when he touched her neck and broke their embrace.
"Let's leave," he said. "Now."
.
Going back to the ship and starting the take-off routine took a different meaning now. She had her lightsaber clipped to her belt, not only did that make her feel whole again but she also had Maul sitting across from her. They jumped to leave Hutt space and he swivelled his chair to look at her. His eyes of gold had a darker shade.
"Your Jedi friends are fools. They don't deserve you."
"They were my family," she said, feeling a knot in her stomach about no one coming to look for her, assuming she had died in that crash. "We don't choose our family."
She saw his mind working from the mix of expressions on his marked face and she let him deliver his thoughts.
"I have no family. I was given to Darth Sidious as a child."
"Maul," she said, reacting to the sadness she felt. "I am here for you."
"He can never find us," he said, creasing his brow in serious consideration. "He knows... That is certain."
Her head throbbed with ache from the rolling feelings and emotions that she experienced as she listened to him. All she wanted was to give him hope, to move on. A monumental task.
Following her gut she got out of her chair and reached for his hands, kneeling beside him as words tumbled and failed to express her compassion, her will to make her presence known.
He frowned at her and rose, bringing her up to her feet. He touched her shoulders and bare arms in a reassuring manner. His mouth thinned but she felt the caring aura in his mind.
"I will protect you, Eldra Kaitis." His face was dark and brooding, but he didn't divert his attention from her eyes. "Whatever the cost."
She became aware of her pulse and dry mouth, unable to think of a reply. He was tentatively remaining close to her, feeling her skin through his gloves. She felt rigid with doubt, then his lips parted to let out a breath.
The moment they had on Drazkel had been overwhelming and surely changed how they would interact. But Eldra had never felt this way before.
"I - I should get some rest," she stammered, cutting off any unfortunate developments.
"Very well," he said, letting go of her. "I will take us deeper into Wild Space. We will figure out what to do from there."
Eldra bit her jaws tight and nodded curtly before making her way to the living quarters.
She wasn't ready to give in. Not that way. She felt it, with her whole being she knew they both were experiencing a bond, strong and intimate.
She hadn't expected him to reciprocate and to act upon it so keenly.
She took a quick shower and went to her cot, slipping under the tight, thin blanket and sheets that hadn't been washed for some time.
When she woke up again she felt her neck and a pull on her spine as she rolled out of her bunk bed. Sitting up, rubbing her neck muscles she told herself to exercise her body to get rid of all the accumulated stress. It had been ten days since her fighting to escape Drazkel - since Maul had tried to kill her. She was glad she hadn't fought him again after all of this time cooped up in a ship.
But then, he hadn't even the intention to harm her, quite the contrary.
She remembered their exchange on the desolate moon. Her lips went numb and she felt light-headed. She had refused to let him destroy himself. She wanted him alive, with her. She wanted to feel his hearts again but she shut down her thoughts immediately. None of it was right.
After splashing water on her warm face and putting her clothes back on, she left for the cockpit where she found him leaning back in his chair, his boots propped up on the console. She saw his eyes were shut and the steady rise and fall of his chest indicated he was asleep.
It dawned on her that he had not slept once in the crew quarters, where he could have taken one or even two of the sleeping cots in order to lie down.
She uncreased her forehead and shot a glance at the navicomputer to check on their position. The Kessel Sector was three hours ahead. All she had heard about Kessel were the mining facilities and its corruption. It would only have to be a pit stop to refuel and find somewhere else to lay low.
Maul hissed and sighed out of her field of vision and removed his feet from the dash. She took a step back, giving him room as he stretched, popping his shoulder and contorting his neck.
"How long have you been here," he grumbled. "Making sure I was not dead?"
He chuckled at himself. Eldra relaxed and joined him, finding his dark humor a bit too dark. What did she expect from a Sith?
Then he tilted his head and looked at her more closely.
"You changed something..."
She checked her face and teeth making sure she didn't have a piece of food stuck to them.
"I'm the same," she said, almost defensively. "Maul..."
"You aren't wearing your headdress."
She touched her forehead and the base of her lekku in sheer panic. It felt like being naked without it.
"Kriff," she said, covering her head with her hands. "I'm so embarrassed."
Slowly retreating, she kept Maul in sight and he was laughing again, grinning from ear to ear. Did he know about the cultural significance of her people's head ornaments and was he making fun of that too?
And that kriffing smile...
She made it to her quarters again to retrieve her head gear from the seat in the refresher and proceeded to equip the leather-like black and silver crown around her lekku.
She struggled to align her head tails with the accessory when Maul appeared in the mirror, leaning in the door frame as he watched her. Eldra tried to ignore him.
He cleared his throat dramatically to catch her attention.
"What?"
Her nerves made her eyes see red when she snapped at him, furious at his nonchalant behavior. He looked at the headdress in her hand before setting his attention on her and his smile was genuine. If she was upset, Maul was very much the opposite.
"If you had let me finish," he told her cautiously, "before you stormed out like a rancor, I meant to say that it suits you. You are a sight for sore eyes, Eldra."
She flared her nostrils and brought her voice down, going back to the mirror.
"Shut up," she muttered, feeling her face warming. "You laughed at me."
In his reflection, she saw him biting the inside of his cheek as he folded his arms.
"And I apologize. It was unbecoming of me."
"Whatever," she relented and squeezed her eyes shut. "If you want to make fun of me then so be it."
"You have my respect, always," he said matter-of-factly. "I meant no harm, and I remember that you enjoyed laughing, finding humor even in the darkest times..."
She gave him a tired look and he returned his smile, tilting his horned head in endearment. Eldra couldn't stay mad and let out a soft chuckle. Shoulders braced in apprehension, she held her headdress in front of her, tracing the contrasting edges with a finger.
"I could get another one," she mused, "like a disguise for holosurveillance."
"Does it give you any tactical advantage in combat?"
She looked at him in surprised at the question.
"Not really, it's not made of metal. Anything too rigid would do more harm than good anyway."
"I can see," he remarked, pointing an index at the top of her tendrils. "Those lines did not appear on their own."
Grimacing as she checked herself in the mirror, she saw what he was talking about. When she touched the dark circles around her lekku it felt like a burn and she winced.
"Nothing a little bacta won't fix," he added before a pause. "Eldra, we need to talk about what happened on Drazkel."
His look was somber when watched her fiddle with her head piece. Jaw locked in hesitation, she barely had the courage to raise her head. Maul stepped aside, inviting her out of the cramped refresher cabin. She went to sit on her cot and dropped her Twi'lek garment behind her, while he stood in the middle of the room before deciding to lean himself against the bed frame.
"You convinced me to keep living and I vowed to do so, while providing you protection." His arms were crossed tightly against his chest as he looked down. "You gave me hope, Eldra. When we melded our minds through the Force, you... gave me some of your Light."
She looked back at him and felt something else than resentment, or maybe was it remorse, but she had not expected any of this. Her heart was settled but her hands were shaking. She hid them between her knees.
"You took a big risk exploring my mind," Maul said, no trace of humor could be heard in his voice. "No one touches the Dark and leaves unscathed."
Hearing his words that rung true she inspected her hands but they were shaking even more.
"Maul," she said, fighting not to let fear gain on her. She squeezed her eyelids shut. "I'm... I'm afraid."
Trying to stop the tremors she caught her hands tightly, tensing her muscles and the pain returned to her neck and her skull. Pulsing aches made her eyes water.
Seeing this, Maul came to sit beside her on the thin mattress.
"There is nothing to be afraid of, Eldra. I mean you no harm."
"I know," she protested, ashamed of her display of emotions. "It's not you, it's what I feel when..."
...when I think about you.
She stifled a sob and crashed her face into her palms. A pit formed in her stomachs from sinking so low in her ability to control herself.
She wanted to run, run away and meet her doom in the void of outer space.
"Tell me what must be done," Maul asked, his voice thrumming in his chest. "I am yours to command, my lady."
She would have laughed at that title he gave her if she wasn't in such a wrecked state.
"There's nothing to do," she replied, shaking her lekku in her back. She wiped her face with a section of the bed sheets. "Thank you for offering, though."
She felt a warm weight on her shoulder. Looking at it, she saw a large, black and red hand. His skin was calloused and she felt it when he slid it along her arm.
"Show me what you feel," he said. "Take my hand."
She shifted her seating to face him better, a raised brow showing her concern. His face was serene and radiated a calm that made her headache fade.
"Are you sure?"
He opened his palms to her and she marvelled at the colors. Hesitant, she brought her fingers to them, sky-blue clashing with the contrast of his black markings in deep-red skin.
Their touch was warm, rugged yet soft when she slowly pressed into those pads. He took in a long breath and closed his strong fingers around her hands.
"Focus."
She chuckled, smiling at herself for getting a reaction from him.
"Sorry," she said, "I'll try."
But she felt the veins beneath his skin, his pulse gaining speed by the second. Her own heart was going just as madly. Focus, she told to herself. Resist this.
Eyes shut she steadied her breathing as she reached within, but she saw him again, as if her eyes were still open. Her vision showed her details of his horns, his black robes over wide shoulders, and retrieved her memory of the way his breath reached her senses when he had whispered something to her on Gamorr. The warmth in her belly filled her again, reaching her hands - and his hands.
She broke the contact abruptly, lips tingling with embarrassment but Maul caught her face in his palms, making it even warmer. Confused, it felt unreal as if she was still watching a vision or a dream, it felt like her wishes were being shown to her when he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. She gasped through her nose, overwhelmed by her senses, feeling herself go into panic.
Focus.
She could taste him, her lungs filled with his scent, feeling nothing but him when she touched his chest and his neck. His fingers reached the side of her head, her temples, around her ear cones and to the base of her lekku which shivered against her spine. Her body gave her clear signals that it approved of this but fear crept into her mind. It was too soon, too fast. And too dangerous.
Attachments are forbidden. Passion leads to suffering. She remembered the mantras, the teachings so deeply engrained that they were self-evident. But they sounded like old stories from a distant past while in the here and now, Maul took place in her world. She felt his hearts beating in unison with hers, experimenting, exploring possibilities with sensations when they kissed.
For a first time, she thought it was not so bad. She smirked against his mouth and laughed through her nostrils. Who would have thought, at the Jedi Academy, that she would have fallen for a Sith?
"What now?" he groaned, interrupting the kiss reluctantly, rubbing the tip of his nose against hers.
His hands had moved to her neck, her chin and jawline. His touch was still gentle yet possessive.
"We should take things slow," she told him, searching his eyes and moved away, bringing their hands on her lap. "I... enjoy this but... really, is it reasonable?"
He bared a side of his pearly teeth at her. "Would you prefer us to fight?"
In a flash, she imagined it: a duel between them, straining themselves, engorged in combat adrenaline and fighting instincts. In this circumstance it would only accelerate what she dreaded the most.
His look softened as he grinned and rubbed a thumb over the veins on the back of her hands. "Lady Eldra... We will do as you please."
She rolled her eyes. "Don't call me lady, Maul. Because I sure am not going to call you lord."
"How disappointing."
Scoffing, she grimaced and gave him a little shove to the shoulder, freeing herself from him. He snickered and got up from the bed.
"Careful," he warned, still beaming at her. He reached for the edge of his collar, pulling to loosen the clothing around his neck. "You do not wish to tempt me at this moment."
Eldra covered her mouth, blushing as she giggled. She felt immature and not in control, but watching him take his gloves back and the way he looked at her with a mix of pride and adoration made her worries fly away. After all he was a man and she was not naive to the point of ignoring what usually happened in a male's mind.
She pulled the edge of the bed sheet until it was around her back, she then wrapped it over her lekku. "Then I won't tempt you with my naked head."
"Unacceptable," he sneered.
He took her hand and pulled her close to him. She allowed him to hold her waist and bring his face close, she was just tall enough to feel his chin on her forehead, then his lips.
She didn't know where that confidence came from and she wasn't sure she wanted to know. He was, after all, a few years older than she was. And Sith were not forbidden to experiment with passion. She brushed the thought away and clung to his chest, feeling his warmth and his hearts against her breast. This was new and scary, but everything he did made her feel safe.
"Maul?"
Her voice was smaller than she'd anticipated, so she bit down on her pride.
"Yes, Eldra?"
"Do you think this is the will of the Force?"
He brushed her head was featherlight fingertips before taking a long, deep breath.
"If it was, I would not question it. The alternatives would have been much less pleasant."
He was content and happy, something she had never imagined seeing since they first met.
She slowly shook her head. "I think we would have made it happen, sooner or later."
Her fingers liberally touching his cheek, she smiled at his puzzled look.
"Are you hungry?" he suddenly asked.
Surprised but not displeased, she widened her grin and nodded.
"Always."
"Then I will return you a favor," he said, grabbing her hand to move out of the crew quarters. "I shall warm up a pre-cooked, bland meal."
She giggled as he dragged her along, not breaking contact when they only had ten paces to walk towards the kitchen. It turned out Maul didn't know where those bland mix packets were. They ended up messing about in the small space between cabinets and appliances, and Eldra took upon herself to sort out the food while he stood and admired her openly. Finally she realized that she was not all that hungry, and neither was he.
The rest of the trip was spent planning their next move, their preferred type of planet and what possible activities they could practice while keeping a low profile. Maul still had his underworld connections with the Trade Federation but he wasn't sharing much detail about that. Eldra started wondering what skills she could put to good use while Maul dealt with refueling at Kessel's orbital station.
He found her in the cockpit, leaning over the dash while she was browsing the Holonet with his datapad.
"Any news?" she asked as he sat in the pilot's seat, turning on the engines.
"Yes, in fact," he began, touching a key to peer at the ship's diagnostics, "I realized that we can afford to upgrade this ship."
"Exciting." She raised her brow. "The hyperdrive?"
"And better weapons systems which would make us unstoppable."
Us. She enjoyed the sound of it and readied herself to operate the co-pilot controls.
"Where to then?"
Maul flipped a central switch and looked at the yoke over on her side. Eyes wide in surprise she felt feedback in the handles as the ship was ready to take off.
"We are fueled up, you don't have to worry about making wrong turns or bringing us to the wrong side of the galaxy."
"Maul!" she protested with delight, loving the sensation of freedom to practice flying the ship.
"Do not crash while I'm in the refreshers."
He planted a kiss on the base of her lekku before leaving. Her heart fluttered and she bit her lips trying to focus on keeping the ship steady. Once she was pointing in the direction of a hyperspace lane she added some acceleration, pressing down on her right foot and the push placated her against her seat.
A volley of curses and non-Basic swear words echoed in the hallway.
She turned towards the open door and laughed. "Sorry!"
There was a silence and she heard the faint voice of Maul saying something about cleaning.
"Okay, we're jumping to hyperspace!" she shouted excitedly when she activated the hyperdrive. "Hang on!"
Overjoyed, she pressed on the lever and made the stars streak white stripes around the canopy.
Notes:
Thanks for reading!
I was very inspired to write this one so it went fast. Sadly I have a problem with patience and editing my stuff... So you are getting rough material, I'm only hoping it turns out easy enough to read! Add to that my writing isn't the best.
And thanks for helping me brainstorm some ideas for the kids, it really makes a difference!