Extra A – Marie's Tears Diary Tathagata (Or "An ode to the I-Sentences")

That's what we are doing now. I had scribbled the idea around and decided to flesh it out a bit, part of it because writing from Marie's point of view wouldn't make any sense. This extra piece should happen the same night of Part 2, while Agent 3 is out with Eight on the Plaza.

Marie Thought of the Day: "Voice actors are people in our neighborhood"

Low Tide (Traditional Calamari County Song)

Tycho gave me an idea, with his diary-thingy-stuff. That I stole. Bought one of those from the novelty shop near the studio where we are rehearsing with Marina and Pearl, so here I am.

I don't remember ever writing much back when I was a bit younger and had one of these? It was Callie who got more into it and wrote whatever she hadn't already said during the day... And what she already had said, just for good measure.

I think I won't use this a lot either, if I gotta say something I'd probably just tell Sango, Gramps, Marina, Sean... Maybe Annie? Uh. I guess Callie too. Dunno about Callie, lately.

There was this stunt during our final Splatfest time where we acted like hinting at a subtle jealousy or hatred between us with passive agressiveness or blatant name calling- It was just for show, we never fought about money or popularity and we still loved each other like actual sisters, but these last six months something got wrong. Even after her episode on Octo Canyon, we made up and our bond got stronger.

I've had wishes to step down a little from the main frame for the last two years or so, and Off the Hook's existence has been a sudden blessing. I feel more in control of my stress and anxieties since they got into hosting Inkopolis News and the Splatfests, because most of it was directly caused from staying in the public eye 24/7/365.

Mm. I want to venture out.

Don't take it the wrong way, I LOVE singing, songwriting, performing live concerts to big crowds ꉕ, all of that. I really enjoyed being in the biggest idol duo ever. But I want something else. I think I've got a good record and range of stuff done: I have stepped into TV with what connoiseurs call 'anticomedy' (To... divisive results), performed supporting roles twice and got a major role in the local theater scene before coming up with a screenplay of my own (In which I appreciated being mostly on the low, nobody actually went to those), and got to kickstart/produce for some musical talent I've found (My biggest venture being Sango, somehow).

I have to continue moving forward, I don't wanna get stale. I FEAR getting stale.

And it's not like "feeling empty inside" or without purpose, not at all, but since I basically achieved my biggest childhood dreams already I need to keep my mind fresh and tender, y'know? ⌤

Looking at the biggest picture, I've got a full table of options to choose what comes next. I've decided to carry on producing for other artists, it's really fulfilling for me doing so. I've also challenged myself to write fiction, and doing voice acting. Mainly audio books. Nobody hears those either. I also get periodically invited to that cute little puppet show for children, this one time with Callie to explain sibling relationship. We're cousins. They say we are a good hook to keep young parents tuned in.

I want to have a partner... Y'know, something romantic that lasts. I HAVE kissed before... Details of which I rather forget. I'm not sure what I wanted to prove by mentioning it. Uh, I want to eventually settle down with that person. I never had time or interest for having a relationship until just recently, first 18 years of my life were mostly spent by Callie's side at ALL times, and though she was into teasing other boys for the fun of it, neither actually had anything with anyone.

Kinda weird for idols, isn't it? I think I can blame that to why I don't really know how to express that kind of feelings for… Y'know, someone I'd like to have something with. It's, uhh, weird to write that. Sorry about it, future self.

…

Am I a bad friend?

About Callie, we've run into some big differences in what we want from life, present and future. She has told me she'd love to live together again, that she wants to continue with the Squid Sisters for a long time, hang around more frequently-

I CAN'T STAND IT. EVERYTIME I THINK OF IT, I WRITE IT UP OR TELL SOMEONE ELSE, I JUST FEEL LIKE A TERRIBLE PERSON. She doesn't ask for anything wrong? Callie only wants to enjoy each other! I don't get it, it's like I have this impulse to work all the time! I hate it! Man, we are 22 years old, barely adults… But I feel like I HAVE to keep my career advancing! It's SO draining and throws me down every. single. time.

I don't know how to make it clear that I want to move on my own, because part of me sincerely wants to.

We've never fought as badly as last I stayed with her some weeks ago, and we had this discussion again. Both of us had tears of both rage and impotence, but couldn't make up for it in the spot or even say 'sorry' to this day. I left early next morning and we now only talk for work inquiries ever since. This isn't good in a lot of ways, I don't know what to do. We HAVE to make up, not only our relationship is on the line, it's gonna impossible get on stage if we fight even inside the studio in front of the crew, and that's gonna leave a terrible impact on both of our careers.

…

Uh, I heard EP is moving out of Inkopolis, she's gonna stay somewhere south. Tycho told me that she was gonna practice at Inkleton Research Lab. I offered him to come with me if he didn't want to live alone at their apartment. Callie hit me and told me "Too soon, you bloody shark~!". First of all, I told her that if someone caught her saying that in public it probably would be her end... But, yeeah, she was right. I still am a little ashamed about that, it was kind of disrespectful asking him something like that given what they are already going through. But, man, Sango is just TOO BIG OF A MORON on ignoring all her OBVIOUS advances to notice how she feels about him, but he sincerely thinks of her of as a childhood friend and loves her very much in that way! I don't think there's something wrong with me, you know... Trying?

His case is stressful. I still like him. Love him. I'm confused.

… I am a bad friend. ⍨

I'm really confused. I took this season 'off' to give myself time to refocus and charge up, but I just can't get to give my mind a break! Also, I got the Splatfest gig again despite me trying to commit to the vacation... That's completely my fault, I'm actively working to organize it because I love the experience, I'm having so much fun with it (Even with Callie, when we let the music take care of everything), I just forgot how alive I felt dancing with her. I'm getting goosebumps right now from talking about hosting another night-long concert!

I'm very nostalgic about it. Last week, I went to a café with Spyke, Crusty Sean, Annie, and Callie to reminisce about old times. Callie's wishes have made me think a lot about the last five years.

I've tried to use my vacation to its whole capacity: Going out with Paruko to the museum to catch up (... She's just as much of a prick as I remember, I kinda like that about her for some reason. I wonder how ABXY has stayed so strong for as long as they have dealing with her...), also went for a drink with Shy-ho-Shy (The musical producer that first discovered us) in a small break from her suffocating schedule. She's really proud of me, it made me really emotional but encourged me to carry on doing what I love most, specially since fame or wealth weren't no longer a problem- Also, that Callie had been in contact with her recently, and told me that I needed to be more understanding of her.

Uh. I also was invited to co-host on a talk show that featured for the night the girls from Ink Theory and the folks from Bottom Feeders. They had a brawl, apparently not for the first time? Stupid fun, but at some point Bibi (the kazoo inkling) got a microphone thrown at her and got seriously injured. Sent her some seaweed stew to her hospital room. Got told it never arrived.

Finally, I've spent some time with gramps, he's doing fine with Sango keeping him company and following whatever he says. The three of us go to Mt. Natai every so often. It's fun, but I bet I'd be even better if Callie came too... Well, at least I'm making up for the time I couldn't hang up with Sango, a lot lately. I get what EP sees on him, and I also now get how dense he is to any 'advances'. Aside from that, he is a nice listener, Tycho is a way better option to talk with rather than using this stupid thing, but naturally I don't like calling him at every opportunity because, well, he's got a life.

... Hoooly CARP I FELT LIKE MY SOUL LEFT MY BODY FOR A MOMENT. I think I heard something like the Killer Wail? And Tycho just messaged me about coming home... That's weeeeirdly convenient, isn't it? Ahaha, breaking news about it too. That moron...

I'm gonna beat him up, told him to not send me anything as I was supposed to be asleep. About that, man is it late.

Gonna put this down for a while, perhaps reading it every so often might help me find some holy enlightment to deal with myself.

Stay fresh~!
⇝ Marie