Synopsis

Set in between Midnight and Bedlam. Valkyrie and Skulduggery are contacted by a lead who may have information on Rancid Fines' whereabouts. Skulduggery reveals he has a past with the informant, and Valkyrie begins to question her motives for meeting them.

The bar that the informant had arranged to meet them at was much nicer than Valkyrie was expecting.

"I am totally underdressed," she muttered as the rental car pulled up and a valet - an actual valet - approached her window. She rolled it down, politely declined the service offered, and Skulduggery drove to the parking area.

"Nonsense," he said, sounding amused, "you look very nice."

Glaring at him, she got out of the car and he followed. "I'm not saying I don't look nice Skulduggery. I know I look nice. I always look nice. I'm just saying that you could have warned me that this was not a-jeans and-a-nice-top sort of place."

"I did give you the name beforehand. It's hardly my fault that you failed to do your research."

She shot him another look, but he didn't notice. He was too busy angling his hat in the reflection of the car window. He looked good, and he knew it. This only made her seethe more. After a moment he straightened, smiled at her with false lips and offered out his arm. She smoothed down her top, took it begrudgingly, and they walked back around the corner to the entrance.

The woman they were meeting was Lorelei Medax, an American sorcerer whom Valkyrie had never met, but who Skulduggery had warned her he had a history with. At this she had arched an eyebrow.

"What kind of history?" she had teased. "Do you mean along the same lines of your history with Abyssinia? Do I need to worry about more of your exes popping up out of nowhere?"

He had only hesitated a moment before responding. "Not quite," he had told her. "I met her here in New York, about... thirty years ago, it must be. It was while Gordon and I were solving a particularly tricky murder. She provided us with what turned out to be some useful information, and I suppose I may have exhibited what you might call 'the wrong impression', because before I left she invited me out for a drink. I turned her down."

At this, Valkyrie had laughed. Her laughter had only continued as he went on to tell her that she had not taken this well. Lorelei was a sensitive, apparently, with powers similar to the ones Geoffrey Scrutinous possessed. Useful as these were against mortals and sorcerers alike, Skulduggery was immune - yet another advantage of not actually having a brain. In fact, Skulduggery had said, it was only when Loerlei had tried to make him believe he was more interested in her than he was (an effort that failed most miserably), that he had discovered this immunity.

"And you're sure this is a good idea?" Valkyrie asked as she slipped out of her jacket and handed it to the doorman. Promptly, he turned and walked off. "You're sure she's not still hung up?"

"As much as I am so irresistible as to inspire a decades long infatuation," Skulduggery responded and she rolled her eyes, "I don't think she will be. As far as I know she is happily married. Besides, why else would she agree to give us information?"

"Hm, I don't know," she muttered, "maybe to exact revenge for humiliating her? You did make her sound a little psycho. What if she's out to trap you? What if she's figured out a way to make you fall in love with her just like China can, and you're just going to leave me in the middle of this bar and Rancid Fines will escape again?"

He looked at her, one eyebrow raised, and she scowled again. The doorman returned, this time without their coats, and pointed towards a table surrounded by three chairs. In one of these, a beautiful red-haired woman was sat. Lorelei Medax looked up at them and smiled, gave a little wave, and Valkyrie turned to Skulduggery.

"You turned her down?" she whispered.

"Yes," he responded, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Are you an idiot? She's stunning."

He looked at her. "Why don't you ask her out, then?"

"She is pretty hot. But she's also about three-hundred years older than me? And Militsa might not be too happy. Two dates in and I dump her for an older lady."

Skulduggery merely shrugged, and started walking towards the table. She followed him over and watched as Lorelei stood to give him a hug. Her dress was gorgeous. Her skin glowed and her hair shone as she glanced over at Valkyrie and extended her arms. "You must be Valkyrie," she said. "It is so nice to finally meet the person worthy enough to be Skulduggery Pleasant's partner. I must say, I am a big fan."

Valkyrie laughed, a little uncomfortably. "It's nice to meet you too. Thanks for agreeing to answer our questions."

"Of course," Lorelei responded as she sat back down. Skulduggery and Valkyrie did the same. "How could I refuse a favour to an old friend? It is very good to see you Skulduggery, by the way. We've barely spoken since I last saw you in '89."

"Ah yes," Skulduggery responded. "Well, Lorelei, I've been a little busy. I hope you don't see it as anything intentional."

"Not at all. Of course, a more insecure woman than I would suspect that you didn't want to see me after our little mishap. But I know better." She smiled again and Valkyrie shifted in her seat. It was kind of scary, how wide her eyes became.

She felt Skulduggery about to respond and cut in, laughing a little too loudly. "Oh wow," she practically wheezed. "That's funny! Skulduggery? Not wanting to see you? God, he's hardly shut up about you."

"Really?" Lorelai asked, leaning forward.

Valkyrie found Skulduggery's leg under the table and kicked. He turned his head slightly in her direction, then looked at the woman opposite them. "I'm a little embarrased to admit," he said, slowly, "that our time together did leave an unexpected impact on my life. And as Valkyrie here is my closest confidant, I have mentioned you, yes."

Impossibly, Lorelai's eyes widened even further. Valkyrie feared for a moment they might pop out. "I had no idea," she said.

Valkyrie smiled reassuringly at her, feeling just a little bit like an awful person. "That's Skulduggery for you. So shy. So introverted. Anyway, I'm sure he's getting embarrassed. We should probably talk about something else. You've seen Rancid Fines around the area?"

"Straight to business I see," Lorelei nodded. "Yes, I've spotted Mr Fines on a couple of occasions. He's not the most discreet character, is he?"

"He isn't, no," Valkyrie replied. "Can I ask, where is it that you've seen him?"

"Well, I first saw him about a week ago. He was slinking about down at the yards. Very shady business, from the looks of things. I was out for a nice walk with my husband and I said to him 'you know, Jerry, I think I know that man', and he said 'are you sure?', and I said 'yes', and he said 'well who do you think it is?', and I said 'I think it's someone from the cult'."

She frowned. "What? You were in a cult with Fines?"

"Oh honey no. God, what kind of crazy person do you think I am? That's just what Jerry thinks I used to be a part of, he's not all too aware of the sorcery side of things. Trying to explain it all, it's not going to be worth it just for him to get all depressed that in fifty years that I'll look no-where as old as he looks now and he'll be six foot under. It would be cruel, really. Anyway, I said 'Jerry, give me a minute' and I went and followed him round the corner. He was meeting some lady - and before you ask, I didn't get a good look at her - and that's when I saw his face. Rancid Fines, I said to myself. That's that little creepy man."

"Did he have the crystal with him?" Skulduggery asked.

"I don't know what crystal you're talking about. What I do know is that he used to be a Nazi. A Nazi, for goodness' sake. I also know that a few years ago he was being very pushy in a bar with a friend of mine. I'm telling you, that man is a creep."

Skulduggery nodded. "Yes, he is. What happened next? You're sure he didn't have the crystal? He doesn't tend to go anywhere without it."

Lorelei shrugged, and took a long sip of her drink. "Maybe it was in his pocket. I don't know." She turned to Valkyrie. "How rude of me, I've not even offered you a drink. What can I get for you?"

"I'm okay," Valkyrie replied. "I don't really drink anyway. Look, the crystal is a bit big to have been in his pocket. He didn't have it with him the next time you saw him?"

"I don't think so, no."

Valkyrie felt Skulduggery glance at her. This didn't sound like Fines at all. "Strange," she said, making sure to keep smiling. "And where did you see him the second time?"

"Oh, I just passed him in the street. I'm sorry, I couldn't tell you which one. But you know, it was so weird, because it was the day that I was in the sanctuary for a meeting, and someone mentioned that you were looking for him. I thought, I've just got to help in any way I can. Anything to make my friends' lives a little easier." She tilted her head at Skulduggery. "Have I helped you out?"

"Immensely," Skulduggery responded. "You know Lorelei, I think Valkyrie would appreciate that drink. Then perhaps you could show us where you saw Fines the first time. It is a nice night, after all."

Lorelei clapped her hands delightedly while Valkyrie stared at him. She got up and walked towards the bar with a skip in her step. The moment Lorelei was out of earshot, she turned to him. "What are you doing? I'm not drinking with her Skulduggery."

"Of course not. I'm getting us out of here," he replied, and he stood and held out his hand.

Frowning, Valkyrie allowed herself to be dragged towards the exit. "But what about Fines?"

"We'll find him some other way. She was definitely lying. And I think you might have been a little bit right about her being slightly enamoured with me."

"Oh really?" she replied, raising an eyebrow as they stepped into the cold night air. She stopped to adjust her top again, turned to signal to the doorman that she would like her jacket back, but Skulduggery just dragged her along. "Hey! My jacket's still in there."

"I'll buy you a new one."

"So, what was it? The crazy eyes? The flirting? Or all the passive-aggressive comments?"

"Neither," Skulduggery admitted. "Though the eyes were mildly terrifying." They approached the car and he unlocked it. Valkyrie slid into the passenger side and looked at him as he started the engine. "Seatbelt."

She slid her seatbelt into place, glaring. "What, then?"

He turned to her. "I glimpsed a gun in her handbag as we were leaving there."

"Okay," she replied, "but that doesn't explain why you told her to buy me that drink."

Skulduggery hesitated and she raised an eyebrow expectantly. Eventually, he sighed. "She was... playing footsie under the table," he said, reluctantly.

Valkyrie burst out laughing.