WARNING: Graphic displays of violence.
As it had been with Deshanna, I felt as if I were drowning, my lungs burning to breathe. I thrashed around, a quiet scream shaping my mouth. Enough. You will not keep me out.
I cried out in agony as that voice raked across my mind, searing through the sedation of the potion with molten talons. It tore through the haze, through my own resistance, through my very self until I slammed into the Fade.
I gasped awake, arching off the hard ground which I had landed upon. I was breathing hard, my heart pounding against my chest as fear gripped me. My legs shaking, I slowly stood and blinked a few times to take in my surroundings. The ground beneath me was hard, covered in grass with a stone path under my feet. It didn't fit with the architecture that loomed out of the shadows: arched stone pillars dotted with torches that seemed to stretch on forever.
Hesitantly, I walked forward and things shifted. No longer did the pillars stretch on for eternity, the room was now small and I could see silhouettes in the eerie mist at the far end. I took a few more steps and the figures drew closer, though still shrouded. I gasped and jumped away when I saw burning corpses reaching for me from out of the ground, petrified in states of agony.
I felt something slither around in my mind and I buckled as that voice spoke, now sounding like a sea of voices crashing against my mind. Wait. You are not...The voice let out an aggravated scream which tore one of anguish from my throat. Unfair. Unfair! You are not the Herald, but a fake! No matter, I can still make use of you.
That slithering continued in my mind, ghosts of tentacles feeling around. I felt sick to my stomach. Seems I'm not the only one who's made use of you. The voice cackled and I vomited upon the stones.
Another laugh. A weak constitution? Not the most appealing of traits. Ah, but you share her face. That alone is prize enough. I felt myself yanked up and shoved forward. It's time to begin.
The figures that had been shrouded, now appeared before me. Terror gripped my heart as my eyes landed upon Cullen and Cassandra. They stood side by side, their faces expressionless, staring into nothing. I knew this wasn't real, but I couldn't help fearing for them.
My head was pounding; my skull feeling as if it were trying to come apart, but I forced myself to think. I've felt pain like this before...the demon at the farmlands. Demon. This is a demon. But what kind? I heard a gasp and I jumped before turning to the noise.
Vivienne stalked out of the shadows, a predatory smile on her pretty face. "Is this shape useful?" it questioned in Vivienne's voice - still painful, but not as much. "Will it let me know you?" I stayed silent, but the creature only studied me as it went on. "Everythingtells me about you." She approached Cullen, standing behind him as her smile grew wider, nearing unnatural. She circled an arm around him, bringing a dagger to his throat. Maker, please no. "So will this: watch," she purred.
She held her blade still over the spot where Cullen's pulse pounded. It's not real. It's not real. Her eyes stared at me hungrily, but she waited as if wanting me to speak, to react.
Will it let me know you? It neededme to react. It had sifted through my mind, but that didn't tell it who I was, how I reacted. I had to outwit it. Question. Question it. A voice spoke - Purpose?
It needed me to react, but to do what? So it could imitate me? It had Cullen here and surely it had seen our relationship in my mind. Desire? It held a blade to his throat - that was not a desire I had. Are you sure? Another voice questioned. I flinched.
What is going on? I asked myself. Focus. You need to focus. Question it, Meira. My mind was getting a little crowded and anger started to burn in my gut, clearing my thoughts.
I had suffered at the hands of another demon and this one did not scare me. I would let it know me and it would not like what it saw. "A demon. Am I supposed to scream in terror next?" I quirked a brow, my voice deadly calm.
This seem to give the creature pause, but it dragged the dagger across Cullen's throat. I bit back my cry as I watched blood spurt from his open neck. Covering the creature, covering me, covering the ground as he collapsed upon it. "Scream in terror next?" the creature mimicked, it's voice sounding more like my own than Vivienne's. Vivienne backed away from Cullen's body, swallowed by the misty shadows as an evil smile spread on her lips.
"Being you will be so much more interesting than being the Lord Seeker," Cassandra laughed as she sauntered towards me, twirling a dagger between her fingers.
She bared her teeth in a smile as she walked passed me before disappearing. I turned towards her, looking out on where I had entered from. The burning corpses were frozen in their agony, fire burning in their eye sockets. Beyond them, I could see the faint glow of pulsing red lyrium jutting out of the ground.
"Do you know what you can become?" Cassandra's voice asked, her breath on my neck. I whirled towards her, but she was gone. "You'll see." I heard strange murmuring within the fog, faint screams as well. "When I'm done, the Elder One will kill the Herald and ascend. Then I will bethe Herald - I'll use your face to get hers."
The Elder One? "Who is this Elder One?" I asked the air.
A cackle in answer. "He is between things. Mortal once, but no longer."
He. "And this Elder Onethink's he can become divine?" I questioned. Of course.If this Elder One killed the Divine, would it not make sense that he'd do it to prove he is above the Maker? This Elder One was a fanatic. "That's the oldest conceit of mortals," I growled. That kind of hubris was the cause of the Blight.
Another laugh, but this one brushed the skin on my neck. I twisted around, but once again the creature was gone. Questioning. Curious? A sharp mind is a desirable trait. I clenched my jaw as pain shot through my spine.
"He knows, he was there," Cassandra's voice spoke. There? He was there? What does that mean? I heard footsteps behind me. "Glory is coming." I felt as the creature walked around to face me. Cassandra's dark eyes stared at me, her face stretching into a smile. "And the Elder One wants you to serve him like everyone else: by dying in the right way."
I stared the creature down. I will not die at your hands, nor will I let you use my face. "I saw through your game. What else do you think you can gain?"
Her mouth stretched even further, the smile becoming grotesque. "You are under the mistaken impression that I require consent."
That gave me pause. What demon doesn't require consent?From all my studies, every demon that took your form had to be given consent to do so. This all sounded familiar, but lost in the haze of pain that was constantly pounding in my mind. I had to stall this thing, had to make it take its time. "Keep talking then." Cassandra's face grimaced before she brushed past me.
"I am not your toy!" No, Maker. Please. It was Cullen's voice as it spoke from behind me now. I turned to find him, his face twisted in a snarl as he spoke, his eyes full of hatred. It's not real. "I am Envy and I will know you!" Envy. He stalked towards me, a dagger in hand, his eyes burning into mine. "Tell me, Meira, in your mind..." The Fade shifted. I was facing Cullen and in front of him stood a silhouette of me. Like a shadow upon the ground. His eyes met mine. "Tell me what you think," he growled, before brutally stabbing my silhouette in the back, twisting the blade in. My silhouette cried out before collapsing to the ground.
"Tell me what you feel," he growled again as the Fade changed. I was splayed on a table. I looked around, my heart hammering as I found the creature wearing Cullen's face. He held a dagger suspended in the air before he plunged it downward. Just as it was about to make contact with my stomach, I was suddenly observing as Cullen gutted my silhouette to my agonized screams.
The Fade twisted once more. Now I was holding the knife as I plunged it into Cullen's gut. It wasn't the creature, but myCullen. At least, Envy's attempt at my Cullen. His face crumpled in pain and confusion as his amber eyes looked into mine. "Why?" he asked.
The first of the Maker's children watched across the Veil and grew jealous of the life they could not feel, could not touch. In blackest envy were the demons born. "You're not real," I murmured as I put a hand on his cheek.
His face twisted into anger and he grabbed me by the throat. I cried out in pain. "Stop fighting me! I will know you!" he screeched.
He threw me backwards and I felt the Fade shifting as I killed Cassandra, Vivienne and Varric in turn. The Fade twisted and they each killed my silhouette in different ways - cries, blood, screams, cackles. Envy, the first. Enough! Enough! Enough! The demon cackled again. "Tell me what you see," it whispered in my voice.
The room changed. "Elgara vallas, da'len, melava somniar. Mala taren aravas, ara ma'desen melar. Iras ma ghilas, da'len, ara ma'nedan ashir? Dirthara lothlenan'as bal emma mala dir. Tel'enfenim, da'len, irassal ma ghilas. Ma garas mir renan - ara ma'athlan vhenas. Ara ma'athlan vhena." It was mother's voice as she sang our lullaby. I blinked and I saw us in our tent when we were children. Mother sat with Ellana and I in her arms, singing and stroking our hair. Ellana and I dozed, contented smiles on our faces. Such a sweet memory, but what followed?
"You're a monster!" Deshanna's voice screeched, appearing before me as a child. Deshanna clutched a wound on her arm. She pulled her hand away to reveal a blood soaked palm. "You made me do this! You got into my head!" Deshanna's eyes were livid as she manipulated the blood from her wound and lunged for me. Her hands gripped my head and neck, my child-self locked in a silent scream.
A monster. Is that what you are? Your gifts that let you walk the Fade…they frighten you. Do you fear you will end up…like me? The demon cackled. Oh no, you would be some much more! I clutched my head and collapsed to my knees. "This isn't real!" I yelled.
"Oh, but it is!" Deshanna's voice spoke. "You walked the Fade; walked my mind and whispered things to me - to others." She came close to me, whispering in my ear. "You tried to kill Ellana."
"No! I would never!" I shook my head.
"You did!" Ma's voice screamed. "We all loved her, cherished her, but you…you wanted to beher!"
"No!" Meira, don't listen! "I would never hurt her!"
"Would never hurt her!" the demon shouted back.
"Oh, but you would," it was Cullen's voice again. Now we were in Kinloch Hold. Cullen was his younger self, a dark brow quirked as he looked me over. "You envied her so, you nearly pitched yourself off the balcony. Pathetic!" He laughed. He came close to me, his eyes searching my face. "Did you want to throw yourself off because deep down you wished you could be her? That she'd never been born? Or that you'd never been born?"
"No!" I shouted. Meira, it needsyou to respond. Don't.
"Liar," he smiled as he slipped back into the shadows.
"Shut up!" I shouted.
"Shut up!" The demon echoed. Defiance. Good. You will make this interesting then.
"Who could blame you for envying her?" No. No. No! Please, Maker. Andraste. No! Please help me!"What did you get in return for the sacrifices you made?" Otto Alrik sauntered out of the shadows, his cruel eyes devouring me. "And where was your precious templar?" Alrik sneered. "He'd pushed you away, but the Champion of Kirkwall...he'd let her in, clung to her. How it makes you burn with envy!"
"You're not real! You're notreal!" I screamed. Pain searing me, the memories clawing at me and I felt my mind begin to fracture. The demon cackled. You are strong-willed. You had to be to endure this. No! No! No!The demon began to manipulate the Fade to make me see what happened in that cell again. That's it. See it. See me. Let me out. "No!" I bellowed, slamming my fists into the ground. Good, Meira! Keep going! It's not real. None of this is real. You can be in control. "Then help me!" I shouted at the voice.
Who are you - ah! What are you doing? The demon screeched. As I had slammed my fists into the ground, the Fade had shifted. No longer anything, but that first room. Empty of everything, but the arches and torches. The light was comforting instead of eerie. The grass green instead of dead.
The demon hissed. Enough. The demon shifted the Fade. Now we were in Haven. Before me stood Ellana, looking beautiful. Her twisted hair falling around her as she wore a white dress. Ears decorated with gold, her face glowing with the tree of Mythal. "And now? You envy me still," she smiled. "How could you not?" She began to circle me. "Untouched by the difficulties of life. Cherished and adored. Prized and worshipped. The Herald of Andraste!" She stood behind me. "But she doesn't even believe in Andraste. Doesn't even believe in the Maker. Both of whom you so cherish - so ardently believe in. Will you grieve when the Elder One topples them?" Shut up! Shut up!"You cling to this faith. This false hope because you know if you don't lie to yourself, you'd give in to that darkness that lurks inside you." She cackled. "And yet, she spits in the face of the only thing that keeps you from breaking completely! How it makes you red inside!"
"That's not true!" I screamed. Tears were streaming down my face. "I love her."
"I love her!" Love. The sacrificial kind. Disgusting.
You must fight it! "I can't," I sobbed. "What if…what if it's right?" It's not, Meira. It's not. Honest. Tricky.
"Who are you talking to?" The demon hissed. "Be silent!"
Fight it, Meira! "I don't know how!" I wept. Pain and doubt gripping my fraying mind. You do! Don't be afraid of it - of yourself. I will help you! See what you want and reshape the Fade! I was panting, my skin slick with sweat. Heart pounding in my chest, mind swirling and chaotic. Remember the fire. You must pass through it alone to be forged anew. Look! Look upon the Light so you may lead others here through the darkness, Blade of the Faith! Through the pain and the tears, I glared at the demon. "The first of the Maker's children watched across the Veil and grew jealous of the life they could not feel, could not touch. In blackest envy were the demons born."
The demon hissed, Ellana's face contorting into a animalistic snarl. "Be silent!"
Stand, Meira. It can't control you. Forcing myself to bear the pain, I stood on one foot and then the other. I straightened myself until I stood tall before the demon. "Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just. Blessed are the righteous, the lights in the shadow. In their blood, the Maker's will is written."
"I said be silent!" the demon screeched, but it took a step back.
Keep going, Meira. Push it back. "Now, with their Father's eyes elsewhere, the firstborn at last created something new: Envy. They looked upon the living world and the favored sons and daughters there, covetous of all they were. Within their hearts grew an intolerable hunger. Until, at last, some of the firstborn said: 'Our Father has abandoned us for these lesser things. We have power over heaven. Let us rule over earth as well and become greater gods than our Father'." I chuckled without humor. "But you can't can you?"
The demon snarled. "But you can't can you?" Mocking. Are you cruel? It grabbed me by the throat again, searing pain along my skin as it did. It threw me through a door. If you won't be broken by your own envy, let me show you what I will do with your face.
I blinked to find myself within the main hall of Therinfal Redoubt. I watched as the others fought the corrupted templars and fell one by one. By the time we're finished, all will be red.
The demon shifted the scene to make me watch as Cullen, Cassandra, Vivienne, Varric and Barris were dragged away to be forcibly fed philters of red lyrium. They fought, but I watched as Vivienne and Varric became horrors, tearing apart anything they came in contact with; Barris and Cassandra became hulking masses of muscle and lyrium.
But Cullen...Oh, Cullen. He fought like a wild animal; thrashing, kicking and screaming until they'd pinned all of his limbs to the ground. He cried out - the cry tearing at my very soul - as the red liquid was poured into his wrenched open mouth. Once done, they released him. He turned onto his side, curling into a ball as he sobbed.
Eventually, he uncurled himself and slowly stood. His honey eyes were now crimson and pulsing as they met mine. I watched as the scar on his lip fractured up to his hair, splitting apart as red lyrium grew out of it. The other side of his face remained his as it twisted into a bitter smile. His single eye continued to look at me for a moment before he raised his sword to slaughter the others.
He cut his way through as many as he could, until he fell to his knees. He threw his head back as he screamed in agony. I watched in horror as his body broke apart, growing and growing until he was a behemoth of a creature. A creature made entirely of red lyrium, my Cullen gone.
Tears of rage wet my cheeks as I watched it unfold. This isn't real. I will never let that happen. Anger was burning in my gut again, growing, clearing my head. Think, Meira. See what you want to see. I imagined a door to my right and looked to find one. I walked to it, swinging it open. Turning away. Bravery or desperation?The next room held groups of people, but beyond, the way was blocked by strange looking fire.
"Our enemies have surrendered unconditionally," an Inquisition scout spoke to my silhouetted form that appeared.
"The Inquisition's strength rivals that of any kingdom in Thedas," a soldier said.
"Our reach begins to match my ambition - but we will strive for more," the demon spoke as it tried to imitate me. I will use your sister's trust in you to let me deliver her to the Elder One. It should be of comfort for you to know that your deaths will be the catalyst for the Inquisition to meet its fullest potential. Of course, no one will ever forget what I do to them when I am you and then the Herald. The demon cackled.
I smirked. Not if I have anything to say about it. "Is imitating what you can't have your only pleasure, demon?" Accusing… trying to find my weakness. Is that the female you are? I ignored the sharp pain in my mind and pressed on.
Stop that! Green flames burst into existence around me, the heat intense where I stood too close. I took a deep breath and walked through them. They cannot burn me. Stop it! As I made my way though the flames, my heart pounding as I began to feel the heat, I heard the other people in the room speak.
"How quickly the Inquisition's influence has spread! Kings and queens seek out it's counsel."
"Who would stand against us when the Inquisition commands nations?"
"No one wise."
"The Herald saved all of us. Our army could tear down a kingdom!"
"No force matches ours for strength."
"When the Chantry fell, we despaired. But the Herald of Andraste brought us light! The people stand in awe of the Inquisition!"
Do you see how glorious my Inquisition will be after your sister dies at the hands of the Elder One?
"You're hurting, helpless, hasty. What happens to the hammer when there are no more nails?" A gentle voice questioned.
What are you? Get out! This is my place!
I had come to more fire. I tried to will myself to walk through, but cried out as it burned me. The demon cackled. There was another door to my right. I went through to find a bedroom. Except the furniture was on the ceiling and walls. Everything odd. This truly isn't real. I looked around, but the room was empty. I turned to leave.
"Wait," that gentle voice called out. I turned, but found nothing. "Envy is hurting you." The voice came from behind me, but when I looked, no one was there - yet I had a sense that I knew the owner of this voice, had seen them before. "Mirrors on mirrors on memories. A face it can feel, but not fake. I want to help. You, not Envy." I was getting irritated. I'd had enough voices speaking to me, I did not need another. Yet, I could sense no malice from this voice, only a desire to help. Spirit?"Who are you?"
"I've been watching. I'm Cole. We're inside you. Or I am. You're always inside you." The voice spoke. The more it spoke, the more it eased the pain pouring in my head, lancing through my limbs."It's easy to hear, harder to be a part of what you're hearing. But I'm here, hearing, helping. I hope. Envy hurt you, ishurting you. I tried to help. Then I was here, inthe hearing. It's — it's usually not like this."
I turned to find a young boy standing on the ceiling. His clothes were raggedy and he wore a large, floppy hat atop his white-blond head. His hair fell into his eyes, and I couldn't tell if they were blue or grey. He was pale, thin and looked almost phantom-like. Yet, I still felt only a willingness to help emanating from him. Not the ever present pain I'd been suffering since the demon had dragged me within its prison.
"If you can help, I'm listening." As I said the words, a growl and a bone-chilling shriek sounded outside the room.
"I was watching. I watch. Every templar knew when you arrived. They were impressed, but notlike the Lord Seeker," Cole explained as he sat upon the head of the bed.
I turned back to Cole, meeting his eyes as he clasped his hands in front of him. "The 'Lord Seeker' is an envy demon. It wants to be me."
"Yes," Cole stated. "It twisted the commanders, forced their fury, their fight. They're red inside. Anyway, you're frozen, Envy is trying to take your face, I heard it - and you - and reached out, and then in, and then I was here."
"So you are a spirit?" I asked.
"If it bothers you, I can make you forget. That helps." Cole shrugged before he thought a moment. He shook his head, his large hat flopping as he did. "No, you need all of you to fight. Maybe later."
"How is my body frozen back in the waking world?" I asked.
"Thoughts are fast. We're here. Outside, a blade is still falling, hanging in the air like a sunset," Cole explained.
"I need to get out though?" I asked. "The longer I stay in here, the more frayed I am becoming."
"That's right. Wriggling, writhing, waiting; whispers along your skin, within your mind. Is it me or is it not? Oh, Maker! Oh, Maker!" Cole spoke. I was confused for a moment as his speech became odd, his tone different. "It would be good if you got out."
"All right 'Cole'," I nodded. "If you really want to help, how do I get out?"
"It's your head. I hoped you'dknow how to stop it," Cole replied.
"Well, I don't," I frowned.
"All of this is Envy: people, places, power," Cole appeared before a fireplace, staring into the fire within the hearth. "If you keep going, Envy stretches. It takes strength to make more. Being one person is hard. Being many, too many, more and more, and Envy breaks down, you break out."
"So if we keep moving in my 'head', we tire Envy into submission?" I asked.
"Maybe," Cole met my eyes. "I hope it helps. It's more than sitting here waiting to lose your face."
"I think I can help as well," Purpose spoke as he appeared beside the boy. Purpose threw an arm around Cole's shoulders and smiled broadly. "Hello, Compassion." He still wore Cullen's face, but it was free of the years of stress - still young and boyish. Free of the scar on his lip and his hair was curled. He didn't wear Cullen's armor or the armor of a templar, but casual clothes of fine make. He had a sword strapped to his back as well.
"Hello, Purpose," Cole stated.
Purpose's pure gold eyes landed on me and softened. "I'm sorry that I couldn't be of more help to you before. Envy is strong. It kept me from coming to you." Purpose patted Cole's hat. "Thanks to Compassion here, though, the demon is losing its grip. Same as you, beautiful."
I stammered a moment. "What do you mean?"
"You've been so strong. Fighting back and pushing the demon. It's losing its iron grip on this part of the Fade because its too distracted by trying to take your form," Purpose explained. "While Compassion was helping you stay whole, I was only able to whisper words of motivation to try and slow the demon's breaking of your mind. You listened - you didn't have to, you could have given up; you almost did, but you fought through."
"Why would you help me?" I questioned the spirits. Their eyes met mine.
Purpose chuckled. "Compassion doesn't have much of a choice." He flicked the rim of Cole's hat. "And did I not tell you that I would help you?" Purpose looked at me, the gold burning me. "I have stuck by you through much, Meira. You've come so close, I will help you reach the end."
"End?" I asked.
"Your purpose - I want to help you realize it," he shrugged his broad shoulders.
"Why? What is it?" I searched his face. So like Cullen's and yet so different.
He looked away from me. "That's for you to discover."
"And that's not an answer, spirit," I growled.
"It's the best I can do," he smirked. "It's not yours if I tell you - you must strive for it. What did you say? 'Remember the fire. You must pass through it alone to be forged anew'?" Purpose studied my face. "We can help you, but you must face this trial on your own. We cannot do it for you."
I nodded. "Then help me however you can, please."
"This way," Cole waved for me to follow. We exited the room and stood before the strange flames. "Thoughts are loud here - you already know, but you can't always walk through fire. That takes a lot of strength. Make it simpler. Think of water."
The flames were pouring out of the mouths of mabari statues, like the ones in Haven. I took a deep breath and imagined the flames becoming fountains of water. I felt the Fade shift.
The heat and anger of the flames became the coolness and serenity of water; powerful still, but the power of peace over chaos. Those things cannot help you. I will see more.I headed for the door, the pain of the demon's voice far less agonizing as Cole and Purpose stood next to me.
"Wait, Meira," Purpose said. "I sense something. Come this way. Compassion, go on ahead."
Cole nodded his head and disappeared. Purpose led me to a door I had not seen, it was blocked by a magical barrier. "How do you spirits function here?" I asked aloud as I worked magic to break the barrier. "This place is enough to drive anyone mad."
Purpose laughed. "For you mortals, maybe. To spirits and demons, this is all normal. Ever shifting, ever changing; change is as natural to us as it is unnatural to you. That's what we do - we change, we adapt. While you desperately cling to immutability - which is a fallacy. Change is inevitable, especially for mortals. You age, you die, you face challenges that break and shape you. Why you cling so to what was, instead of embracing what is and what could be - Isometimes go mad thinking about it."
We walked into the sealed room to find a grotesque statue. Half human and half creature. I had a feeling I was looking at Envy and the Lord Seeker. "What am I looking at, Purpose?" I asked.
"I believe your looking at the reason why Envy was brought forth," Purpose stated as he bent towards the statue. "Place your hand upon it, Meira, and ask it to reveal its knowledge to you."
"Just ask it?" I questioned.
Purpose smirked. "You're a dreamer, Meira. When will you realize that means you can make the Fade and everything within it do what you want? You want the Fade to change - imagine it different. You want statues to speak? Tell them to. You want spirits to help you? Ask them. It is not malicious in nature - you are simply more like us than you realize. The Fade bends around you because like calls to like."
"More like you? Like spirits?" I asked, studying the stone.
"Yes," Purpose nodded. "What do you believe defines a person? Their body or their soul - their spirit? Their nature?"
"But spirits can change their nature, people can not so easily do that," I argued.
"Is that so?" Purpose quirked a dark brow, his gold eyes filled with humor. "It may not be easy, because mortals are of the immutable world, but it canbe done. If it couldn't how would mortals ever love? Ever trust? Ever grow? In fact, what mortals experience is true change. What spirits and demons experience is simply a shift in reality."
"What do you mean?" I searched his face.
"I can be Purpose or Desire. I cannot be anything else," he shrugged. "Perhaps my nature as Purpose is more complex than the word implies, but I cannot be any other spirit. I cannot become Wisdom or Compassion or Valor. I can only stay Purpose and grow within that design; or I can become Desire and only bring harm to mortals by twisting what they most want, most long for, into their worst nightmares." His face fell. "But you, you beautiful mortals, you can become anything. Broken can become whole. Cruelty can become compassion. Envy can become contentment. Betrayal can become forgiveness. It may be hard, maybe impossible for some, but you canchange - we simply remain the same. It is that fact that leads to so many spirits becoming corrupted. We longfor change - real change, but cannot have it. It is what tempted me to become Desire and let Alrik use me." His gold eyes met mine and I saw him flickering around the edges. "Forgive me, Meira."
He was fighting his other nature as he spoke these words. I placed a hand on his arm. "You are Purpose, not Desire. Let us leave what happened in the past, in the past." I offered a small smile. "I blame Alrik, not you."
Shame crossed his features. "I do not deserve such...mercy."
"You're here to help me. You have been helping - do not give into your darker nature for shame of the past," I murmured. "Stay with me and help me. That seems to be your purpose now."
His eyes met mine in surprise. "You are quick." He smiled broadly. "Now, let's free you of Envy." He took my hand and placed it upon the statue.
I closed my eyes. Speak to me. A rotting, haunted voice answered. "A whisper, followed out of dream. A beckoning thread of power. At the end of it a figure, crowned in imperial red, seen through a tear in the air. The Elder One, demanding servitude with an offer impossible to resist. Leader of the Seekers. Commander of knights. Lord Seeker Lucius Corin, master of templars."
That will not help you!
I turned to Purpose, nearly able to block out Envy's voice now. "What does this mean?"
"It's what the Elder One used to lure Envy out of the Fade with, I would guess," Purpose studied the statue. "Envy was looking for a purpose - for someone's face to steal, for someone to become. This Elder One dangled the Lord Seeker before it's eyes and it saw a tempting prize - leader, commander, master. What greater titles for a demon that wants what another has? In exchange, Envy belongs to the Elder One."
Quiet you!
"Did I upset you?" Purpose taunted. His gold eyes found me. "Let's go, Meira. We've rattled the beast."
I followed Purpose out of the sealed room, past the fountains and through another door. It exploded as I went to open it, knocking me backwards. Envy cackled. Everything in my vision went white. I blinked, the blazing white dimming after a few moments.
Purpose was gone again. Before me stood Ellana, Cullen, Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine. They surrounded the war table, but upon it was my body impaled by Cullen's sword. I was gurgling, choking on my own blood as my scared eyes looked up at them all.
"Meira?" Ellana cried, but Cullen kept her away from me. "If you hadn't stopped her, I'm not sure what would have happened."
"She - she was...she was an abomination," Cullen stammered, his eyes lost as he looked me over. "I...I had to do it. She would have killed you otherwise."
"When did she become possessed?" Leliana asked. "At Therinfal?"
"No," Cullen shook his head. "She was...she was herself. We'd been separated, but when we found each other again she was alright."
Oh, this will be such a sweet end for you. The man you love forced to kill you when you go raving mad with envy towards the Herald. You claw at her, trying to kill her. He thinks you're an abomination, that fear that's been gnawing at the back of his mind every time he looks at you. What does he feel as he impales you to that table? Relief?
The demon cackled. They won't notice that I slipped from you to the Herald as easy as putting on a new shirt. Believing the threat is ending as the blood drains from your body in front of them. You silently cry for them to hear you as you warn them, but they do not listen. Then I will wield the Inquisition like a sword. Betrayed allies will curse the Herald's name. Like the first Inquisition, she will bring blood and ruin and fear!
"Unless you don't let it in," Cole stated. "You don't have to. None of this is real unless you let it be."
Get out, thing! I am learning!
"This will never come to pass," Purpose growled. "Keep moving, Meira. Stretch it!"
I pushed past the scene, ignoring the tears in my eyes. I would do everything in my power to not let you succumb to that fate, but I trust youwould do everything in yourpower to never let that fate come to pass. I would, Cullen. I will.
Though stung with a hundred arrows, though suffering from ailments both great and small, his heart was strong, and he moved on. The deep dark before dawn's first light seems eternal, but know that the sun always rises. Though the lands suffer a thousand wrongs, the Maker yet notices the smallest of deeds.
I went through another door that I willed to appear to the demon's hiss. It opened to a stone hall that mimicked the one beneath the Chantry in Haven. I moved on to archways opening to prison cells. Entering one, I found an Orlesian man pacing behind the cell bars as a soldier watched.
"Do you confess to conspiring against the Herald of Andraste?" the soldier demanded.
"I confess nothing!" the Orlesian argued. "The Inquisition took my land and turned out my family!"
"Then your sons will be executed in the absence of a declaration of guilt," the soldier growled.
"What?They're just children!" the man sobbed.
Does the death of children, of innocents cause you to despair? How does it claw at your mind to think I will use you to lead to the slaughter of them by the thousands?
I left the cell and went to another. Within the cell was Mother Giselle. Instead of a soldier, the silhouette of me stood before her. The silhouette was becoming more defined, but it still looked grotesque and as it spoke, its voice was more demonic than mine. "What do you have to say to your crimes, heretic?"
"This is a farce!" Giselle fearlessly cried. "I demand justice!"
"Have it," the demon waved a hand. "Take her to the gallows!"
Will you weep to know that the Chantry you cling to will be razed to the ground as the people bow to the Herald in faith? The Maker and Andraste cast aside as false gods in the face of the Elder One?
"No one will believe youare me, demon," I hissed.
The demon cackled in response. Do your friends know you so well? Not as well as I'll know you.
I left that cell behind to find Purpose leaning against the wall. "Good, Meira. Don't let it rattle you. Nothing is real here. It is trying to break you, to touch more of you. You're angry - growing angrier. It will keep you focused."
I followed the hall, finding an eerie mist shrouding the back wall. To the left and right were two more cells. I spotted Cole observing the prisoner in one, his lips pulled into a frown. I made my way to him, ignoring the figures of Rylen and a sobbing Orlesian. Rylen had a cruel smile on his face as he observed the terrified man begging for his life. That is not Rylen.
Cole met my eyes as I entered the room, his own unreadable. He glanced to the prisoner. I looked and my heart broke to find Cullen - my Cullen - pacing the bars like a great cat. He was livid, his eyes blazing as he stared at something that wasn't there.
"I have questions, Commander," the demon spoke, materializing before the cell in my silhouette, grasping the bars as it leaned against them.
"It is my turn to be branded a traitor for questioning what we've become?" Cullen growled, getting in the demon's face. "Have you finally tired of your plaything?" He spit. "I deserve it. I let my love for herblind me to you; I let you turn the Inquisition into a butcher's pit because I would not lose my last connection to her."
So broken will he be by driving that blade into your heart, he'll willingly come to my arms. Doing anything and everything I ask because I have your face. And will I use him - in every way possible. Because you had him, so will I.
Rage lit my insides. "I will kill you, demon," I shouted at the air. "I will tear you limb from limb."
"Tear you limb from limb," the demon mimicked. Protective or possessive?
"It's dark, but it isn't real. Think of sparks. Keep going up. You're more you there than you are Envy, and that tires it out," Cole instructed.
"That's a little cryptic, Compassion," Purpose chuckled. "He means you need to find light in the darkness, Meira." Purpose's gold eyes found mine. "What does that look like?"
Silence!
Light in the darkness? Though all before me is shadow, yet shall the Maker be my guide. I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond. For there is no darkness in the Maker's Light and nothing that He has wrought shall be lost.
I closed my eyes and pictured light. Comforting, warm, guiding. I imagined the candles lit in the Chantry; the candles of the library of the Circle; the fire of the clan as we all sat around to listen to the hahren's tales; the light in Cullen's eyes as he looked at me with adoration.
I blinked. Cole was gone and in his place was a brazier. I stepped towards it and looked to Cullen, who still paced behind the cell bars. Lighting the brazier, I imagined a better end for this darkness.
"I would very much like to...kiss you. May I?" Cullen murmured as he looked lovingly at me. "Y-Your...beauty infatuated me, but as I came to know you, to know your character, how you saw the world, your faith...I-I." His eyes continued to study me as if it were the real Cullen. "What the Maker has created, no one can tear asunder," he promised. The bars of the cell disappeared and I wrapped my arms around him. "How are you, my darling?" I smiled into his shoulder. "I love you," I whispered and he disappeared. The demon hissed in response.
I worked my way back through the cells, lighting braziers that had now appeared there. Mother Giselle began to speak the Chant, it fading away slowly as she too disappeared. The Orlesian was reunited with his sons, embracing them as he sobbed with relief. His children's echoing laughter warming my heart as they were freed.
Purpose smiled widely at me. "Keep going!"
I went to the cell that I had not entered before. Josephine was within. "Four days without food, one without water… I wish the Herald would tell me what she wants me to confess."
I lit her brazier. Josephine laughed delightedly as Cullen and Leliana joined in, they stood around the war table and Ellana stood opposite them. They were all happy, enjoying one another's friendship before they disappeared. A door came into existence at their departure. I could feel Envy's anger growing with each obstacle I tore down, each wrong I righted.
"Excellent, Meira," Purpose encouraged. "That is as simple as it is. You think what you want to see and it becomes. You have that power. Nothing in the Fade can stop you - especially if you continue to grow your powers and remain unafraid." He waved for me to follow. "There's another piece of Envy's puzzle, come on."
Purpose led me to a brazier that had appeared next to Rylen and the weeping Orlesian. I lit it. Rylen now comforted the man, assuring that he was safe now - the Inquisition would protect him and his family. The mist disappeared, a wall pushing back, but the progress was slow. I reached out a hand to the stone and it dissolved into dust. Envy let out a frustrated snarl.
We came to another grotesque statue, this one more human than demon. I placed my hand upon it and that dead voice spoke again. "Weeks of studying, learning, imitating. The Lord Seeker reveals who he is, what he is, with every sharp-tongued reaction. Lucius Corin abandoned, hidden after taking his face, his armor, his templars. Easy as slipping into new skin. The Herald of Andraste protests as the templars leave the city. Small. Unimportant. Beneath a Lord Seeker's notice, but for instructions from the Elder One."
"Seems Envy didn't see the opportunity your sister presented when it first encountered her," Purpose stated.
"And it sounds like the Lord Seeker resisted the demon, but it doesn't matter," I mused. "Envy takes your face wether you want it to or not. It only needs to study you long enough to become you. And it's not possession, it exists as you while you may still live or be dead elsewhere."
That's right. Does that make you afraid? It should. The longer you're trapped here, the more I know of you.
"You'll just have to kill it," Purpose replied.
"Gladly," I growled.
"Gladly," the demon repeated. Aggressive. Yet kind. You are complex.
"It's time to move, Meira," Purpose nodded his head back the way we came.
I headed towards Josephine's cell and went through the door there. A flight of stairs met me and I climbed it quickly. You wish to be difficult? Then see the legacy of the Inquisition! It's followers hosts to demons! Your world — ashes!
"It can't make you, not anymore," Cole spoke gently as he appeared in front of me. "You are getting too strong." Shut! Up! Thing! "Almost there," Cole encouraged. "Keep going up."
"What then?" I asked him as I climbed the stairs.
"You're making it hard for Envy to think," Cole explained. "It'll probably come out soon. It's angry. But that's okay. So are you."
The door opened to a forest. I could feel things moving within the trees. The smoke of the forest caused my eyes to water. There was a lingering smell of burning corpses. I heard voices, screams, cries, shouts and roars. The sounds of battle and people running.
"They say the Herald summoned these demons after Celene was murdered," an Orlesian voice spoke within the trees.
"An abomination! Why did no one realize?" Another voice questioned.
"Quiet! I hear something," the first hushed.
Soon after I heard as roars echoed and their answering screams were cut off. Demons? Celene murdered? Was this the plot of this Elder One?
"You're letting her see more to sketch her shapes, but what she see makes her stronger," Cole bit at the demon.
Quiet!
I kept moving through the forest, hearing as people died around me at the hands of demons. I will not let this come to pass.I pushed myself harder, the pain from the demon that had been paralyzing now nothing more than an annoyance.
Stairs loomed out of the forest and beneath me, the ground began to shift. I felt the malice of Envy, it was trying to attack me. However, its attacks were slow and I simply had to keep moving to get out of range.
I made my way up a few flights of stairs, and found Purpose leaning against the rail of the next. "One more piece, Meira," he stated. "Follow me." He made a path through the forest to a final statue.
This one had the face of a man, whom I could only assume was the Lord Seeker. I put my hand on the stone and when the voice spoke this time it was the voice of the Lord Seeker. "Growing disbelief. The Herald, leading nobles, shining men and women whose power chokes a country. The Inquisition, rising larger than the templars. Unbearable envy. What is a Lord Seeker, compared to what the Herald will become? Seething, consumed with want. Dreaming, wanting, needing to wear the Herald of Andraste's face when next meeting the Elder One."
"You taunted it with the nobles and it had to have you," Purpose explained. "Envy's weakness is - to no one's surprise - envy. When you showed what the Herald could be, it had no use for the Lord Seeker and revealed itself. It made it's move too soon and it will be it's downfall. I wonder if its master will be pleased?"
Shut up, Purpose!
"No, shan't," Purpose mocked the demon. "You are pathetic and no match for Meira. I will happily watch her dispatch you." Envy hissed. Purpose turned to me, a hand on my shoulder. "It cannot touch you now. Find it, fight it and escape."
I nodded. "Thank you, Purpose."
"Don't be a stranger, Meira," he smiled. "I look forward to seeing you in the Fade again - maybe not in the clutches of a demon or a crazed Keeper though, hmm?"
I laughed, hardly believing I could. "I couldn't agree more."
"Happy, hoping, healing. Did we help?" Cole asked as he appeared beside Purpose.
"You did, Compassion," Purpose patted the boy's shoulder. "But your job's not done yet."
"I know." Cole stated. "Envy is close. Keep going. Don't be afraid."
"I'm not," I smiled at them. "Thanks to you."
They disappeared and I was now standing in front of a flight of stairs. These stairs were a copy of the ones that led up to the main hall of Therinfal Redoubt. I hurried up them and opened the large doors.
Within, the fight between the templars and the red templars was frozen. Swords hanging in the air, the dying not quite upon the ground, defiant yells held on silent mouths. I searched the room, but did not see the others. No doubt a feeble attempt to frighten by the demon.
I made my way to the door it had dragged me out of, through another courtyard where corrupted templars were gathering and to a door that stood open. The room was empty, but I knew the demon was close.
I felt a hand on my shoulder as I was spun around; that old pain returning as the demon made contact. It was stuck in the silhouette of me, incomplete. A shade. It's eyes were nothing but green fire as they looked at me. The demon grabbed my throat and slammed me into a wall, lifting me up. The haze returned, threatening my ability to think.
"Unfair, unfair! That thing kept you whole, kept you from giving me your shape!" The demon whined.
"What could you gain from being me?" I asked, trying to distract it as I summoned an ice dagger in my palm.
"What could you gain?" Envy tried to mimic, but it's voice was more it than me. "What… ugh!" It growled in frustration. Bringing a hand to my temple, I cried out in pain as strange magic burned across my skin. We'll start again. More pain this time. The Elder One still comes.
"It's frightened of you," Cole murmured.
Envy dropped its hand as it looked around for Cole. My pain eased just enough that I finished the dagger. Get out of— I kicked Envy away before charging it, plunging the dagger into it's gut. The demon shrieked as everything blazed white.
...
I awoke upon the floor. That smell of death and blood filling my nostrils as the sounds of battle roared in my ears. I blinked and sensed that I was not alone. Wrenching myself up, I found a horrifying sight before me.
A demon - Envy - clutching its gut wound as it unfurled itself before me. It was nauseating to look at: it's face was comprised of mutilated scars and a gaping mouth; it had multiple arms and it's legs were more akin to arms and hands than legs.
It was humanoid in appearance, but animalistic in its movements. It stood, it's face in my direction, but it had no eyes. I jumped to my feet and palmed my staff.
"I swore I would kill you," I promised.
The demon opened it's mouth and let out a high-pitched shriek that made my ears ring. For it's large size, it was astonishingly fast as it skittered out of the room. It became a cloud of smoke as it flew back to the main hall.
I turned back to the room, finding it no longer empty, but a mess of broken furniture, boarded windows, papers, blood and writing all over the walls and stone floor. In the middle, sat a table littered with papers and a bust of...Empress Celene. The bust had a dagger stabbed through its face, a piece of parchment attached to the blade.
Cole appeared from behind the bust. "The Elder One wants her dead. Empress Celene. He hates her, haunts her, wants her dead, but hides why. He hid other things, too."
"We will need to find out why," I murmured. "But that is something to be addressed afterwe escape this place. Cole, where are the others?"
"Fighting, fearful, fearsome. Where is she? Where is she?" Cole spoke, his voice changing again like it had before. He looked at me and blinked. "Why do you look like that? That is not your face."
"Did I...look different in the Fade?" I asked the boy.
"Yes," Cole sounded worried. "Did...did Envy win? That's the face it saw - that it wanted to steal."
"No, Cole," I shook my head. "I...I can't explain right now."
"Wait," Cole said, "I see. You are you, but also her. You must be both to keep her safe."
"Yes, Cole."
"You're helping?" Cole questioned.
"I am trying to," I smiled.
"We need to help the others," Cole stated, his voice worried. "They fear for you and that fear is distracting them. Red - red everywhere, inside. Rage and pain and the endless song. I must make the others hear the song!"
"What are you doing when you speak like that, Cole?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.
"I hear others, not just you," Cole offered.
"Hear others?" I questioned. "As in, you can hear what they're thinking?"
"Yes."
"That's amazing!" I exclaimed.
"And scary," Cole chuckled. "But it helps me help them." A worried look crossed his face. "The lyrium - it's wrong, but I feel that thirst. Luring me in, sweet caresses begging me to drink. No! No! Where are you? Where are you? Please, Maker, let her be safe!" He met my eyes again. "We need to go find them."
My mind went to the images of the others being forced red lyrium. That bitter smile on Cullen's face. "Let's hurry."
Cole ran out the door and I followed. We worked our way through the courtyard and back to the main hall, the corrupted templars absent within the courtyard. Cole disappeared as we entered the hall.
To my shock, the corrupted templars had been defeated, their mutilated bodies littering the ground. The templars that had not fallen to the red lyrium had set up barricades, taken up positions around the hall and were standing in defensive formations before each of the entry points. As I entered the hall, a few raised their swords.
"Herald?" Barris's voice questioned, his green eyes boring into mine. The swords lowered. "Where did you come from? Did you see that...thing before it came in here?"
"It's an envy demon," I answered the man. "It replaced the Lord Seeker. I need to know where the others are so we can kill it."
Barris blanched at my words. His eyes flicking away from me. I followed his gaze to find an huge, magical barrier blocking off the front half of the hall. "Envy? Maker. Then the real Lord Seeker is caged or dead."
"It seems that way," I murmured. "Barris, the others. We need them."
He took a moment to collect himself. "The Seeker, the mage and the dwarf went to find any remaining senior templars to bring them here. We need the veterans' expertise - even more so if we're to face an envy demon. Cullen went with them, but he was to find you." Barris turned to the door opposite me. "They thought you'd been dragged through that door. Perhaps that was Envy's trick." Barris's face fell. "We were to join them, but waves of the red ones keep coming."
"I'll be back. We can come up with a plan when I have the others," I stated. "Keep fighting."
He gave me a salute. "To the last, Herald."
I ran for the other door and threw myself through it. Racing across the courtyard, I felt Cole appear beside me. "Will I be too late? Maker, please, help me. Andraste, guide me."
I heard the sounds of fighting coming from an open portcullis. We ran through and I came to a halt. Cassandra, Varric and Vivienne were fighting a behemoth alongside a few senior templars. I looked around, but did not see Cullen. Please...please don't tell me -
"Herald?" Cassandra's voice called between swings of her blade. "Thank the Maker!" I charged forward, palming my staff to join their fight. "No, we have this in hand. Find the Commander!"
"Where is he?" I shouted.
"While we were distracted with this, a few of the corrupted templars dragged him off," Cassandra answered. "Find him, Herald!"
Cole appeared beside me once more as I ran to the door Cassandra had pointed towards. "I hear the song, see their eyes, know its foul and yet - lips cracking, stomach burning, saliva flooding my mouth as my heart pounds in anticipation. It'd make the nightmares stop, make the pain go away. I'd forget everything. Forget it all. No! NO!I shall endure! Meira! Meira!"
I stopped mid-step and nearly tripped. I looked to Cole. "Is that...is that Cullen?"
"He needs your help," Cole stated simply.
Fear and rage gripped my heart. Taking a Fade Step, I crossed the entirety of the space between me and the door. With a defiant yell, I burst the door apart with ice magic and Fade Stepped again down the flight of stairs that opened to a dungeon.
I froze where I was, unsure if I had escaped Envy's prison. He was fighting like a cornered animal, his eyes nearly black as his pupils were dilated with panic and fear. He thrashed, kicked, punched - his sword missing. They tackled him to the ground, pinning his arms and legs down.
"You left the Order, but you'll want this song, Knight-Captain," one of the corrupted templars cackled. "Samson sends his regards," he said as he shook a philter of red lyrium above Cullen. "Open his mouth." Two others stalked forward and bent to wrench Cullen's mouth open. I could see the terror in his face, listened as he let out that same cry. I leapt into action as it tore at my heart.
"Cullen!" I yelled and threw one of my blades towards him.
I had distracted his captors just long enough he could wrench himself free from their grip. He scooped up the blade and skewered the templar that had been about to pour the red lyrium down his throat on its blade. He roared as he sprung into action, his eyes blazing with a ferocity I'd never seen.
With a yell, I slammed my staff into the ground, freezing a few of them, before I used the staff to launch myself at the others as I drew my sword. Leaping at one, I plunged the blade into the break at their shoulder. Wrenching the blade free as he cried out in anguish, I twisted towards another and separated his head from his shoulders. Cullen was facing down the others, his blade before him and I put my back against his. He scooped up a shield and I could feel him heaving breaths against me.
"M-Herald?" he gasped. "Whe-what -"
"Later, Commander," I growled as I stared down the approaching templars. "For now, let's kill these monsters."
Cullen grunted in agreement. We stayed back to back as they surrounded us. Together, we moved as one. Where he was open, I struck; where I was vulnerable, he protected. We moved around each other like a fluid dance, arms and legs as one body. I summoned magic to shield him; he swept and I ducked, his swing shattering ones I had frozen.
We danced and danced until they were all cut down around us. We pressed into each other, both of us panting from the effort. Eventually, we straightened and turned to each other. His face was flecked with blood and a few cuts, his armor splattered. Amber eyes searched my face as he continued to breathe heavily. His pupils had constricted, but he was pale and I could tell he was shaking.
I gazed into his eyes as I too, breathed heavily. "Are you-"
He crashed against me in a ferocious kiss. Desperate, afraid and as if in assurance that I was real, his lips learned my own. His gloved fingers fisted the hair at the base of my neck, his other hand on my hip as he curved around me. Just as it bordered on too much, he broke away. His eyes were burnished bronze as they drank in my face. "I am sorry. I-I lost sight of you. I...I feared -"
I put a hand on his cheek. "I am alright," I assured. "We need to move. The others are fighting and Barris can't hold the main hall for much longer."
He straightened, his eyes turning fierce as he searched the room. Handing me my blade before he stepped away to look for his own sword and shield. Upon finding them, one of the templars jumped up to try and attack him.
Cullen turned so swiftly, his eyes blazing with fury as he thrust his sword through the templar with all of his strength. The blade went through the templar's front until it protruded through their back. Cullen snarled as he wrenched the blade up, causing the templar's body to jerk in reaction.
Cullen then kicked his sword free before shaking the blood off. He stared down at the corrupted templars with a look of disgust. His eyes met mine and I saw that ruthlessness he could possess within them.
"We need to go," he growled.
I nodded and followed behind him as he climbed the stairs, wrenching my staff free from the ice. I could feel the rage emanating from him as we ran back to the others. I worried for him, but knew now was not the time to ask.
We found the others taking the behemoth down just as we arrived. Cassandra looked over Cullen with a mixture of relief and concern. I explained that we needed to return to the main hall to regroup.
Together with the senior templars, we rushed back to the main hall to find Barris and the others fending off some corrupted templars. We joined the fight and soon enough, the hall was ours once more.
"What happened to you, Herald?" Cassandra asked as soon as we were clear.
"The Lord Seeker was replaced by an envy demon," I explained. "I caught it's fancy."
"Then the Lord Seeker -" Cassandra began.
"Envy?" Cullen questioned. "Maker's breath! It - did it...?"
"I resisted it, Commander," I assured. "I stabbed it in the gut and when I tried to confront it in its true form, it ran." I turned to point at the magical barrier at the front of the hall. "It's hiding beyond there."
"Barris!" Cullen barked as the templar approached. "What in the Void has been going on here?"
"It appears an envy demon has been acting in place of the Lord Seeker," Barris growled. "And my captain knew. It's the red lyrium, isn't it? I knew that retched stuff was risky!"
"'Risky'?" Cullen spat. "Everyone in the Order should know what it does to you!"
"Or do you all not communicate with each other?" Varric asked. "The Knight-Commander of Kirkwall turned into a statueof red lyrium. After going completely crazy because she'd had it embedded in her sword. And you all have been ingesting the stuff? Are you insane?" Even Varric seemed angry as he looked Barris over.
Barris shifted on his feet. "They often give us new kinds of lyrium. Our commanders… some used the red stuff first, to prove it was harmless. The knights would have been next. That demon turned our leaders so we couldn't question when this started!"
"Then your leaders all but corrupted the templars for the demon," Cullen growled.
Barris stood straighter. "Then we will fix it." Cullen nodded. Barris turned to his brethren. "Templar! What is Envy?"
A templar stepped forward. "A coward, brother!"
Another answered as well, "It studies, makes less mistakes. But most of all, it hides."
Barris turned back to us. "Envy's rare. Rank and file aren't trained for that. That's why it took us top down. We have our veterans, thanks to you. We'll hold the hall. We need uncorrupted lyrium - it will most likely be in the officer's quarters. Bring it here, and I'll give you Envy." Barris saluted us, determination in his eyes.
"You're not mages. You need lyrium for this?" I asked.
"Templars deny magic, but envy demons are tough," Barris explained. "Especially when they've had time to entrench themselves. The veterans can show us how to push. The lyrium will help, so when we break, we break the enemy."
I blinked. "'Break'? You mean you could die?"
"A demon holds the honor of the Order," he scowled. "There isn't a man or woman here who will let that stand."
"Glad to see Curly isn't the only templar left who isn'tcrazy," Varric stated.
"I try, dwarf," Cullen grumbled.
Barris nodded and started to turn, his eyes catching on a dead red templar. "Show those things no mercy," he murmured before turning his back on us.
We fought our way through the courtyard to the officer's quarters. It was where Envy had dragged me to. "This is where Envy took me," I voiced after we'd cut down the last of the corrupted templars. I pointed at the open door. "I think...I think that's the Lord Seeker's quarters."
"What was inside?" Cassandra asked.
"Nothing good," I replied. "We can look more after we've dealt with this mess."
She nodded. "We will. We must find out what happened."
"I'd guess the lyrium would be over here then," Cullen voiced as he pointed at a nearby door. "It is usually kept close to the Knight-Commander's quarters within the Circles."
We made our way to the door, but found it locked. I growled frustratedly and froze the door before shattering it apart.
"Shattering doors now, Herald?" Varric chuckled.
"Let's just say my trip to the Fade made me impatient," I bit out. "That Envy demon is going to regret ever leaving the Fade."
"That's the spirit," Varric chuckled.
We walked inside to find the bottom floor of the room covered in red lyrium. It had grown out of the chests it had been held in, spreading like the Blight along the floor and the walls. I could hear that song again - dark and enticing; nausea rolled in my gut the longer we stood near it.
"This must be the red lyrium the 'Lord Seeker' gave the templars," I mused aloud.
"Just like Haven and the Breach. Where are they getting it from?" Varric asked.
"They're either mad or fools to even be touchingthis," Vivienne curled her lip in disgust.
"Fools," Cullen growled. "Absolute fools."
I headed up the stairs and spotted chests of lyrium that glowed blue and held no song. "Here - the untainted lyrium."
The others climbed the stairs. I glanced at Cullen. He had paled again and there was a sheen of sweat on his brow as he looked at the red lyrium. He met my eyes after a moment and gave me a slight nod before looking away.
He approached a nearby table as the others began collecting the chests of lyrium philters. He shuffled through the parchment there, picking up one that caught his eye. "They were getting shipments of regular lyrium, but only small amounts - not enough for all of them. A large shipment of red lyrium came in from an unknown source and it was left up to the Lord Seeker to ration it." He brought the parchment closer to his face as he read something at the bottom. "The templars...noticed a difference in the red lyrium, but the Knight-Captain encouraged that they use it." He folded the parchment and tucked it into his cuirass.
"We will question them - all of them - when this is over," Cassandra seethed. "The Order is so filled with corruption, there is no saving it."
"Your Lord Seeker fell prey to an envy demon," Cullen argued. "I doubt the Seeker's are free of corruption." They glared at each other a moment.
"You two can argue when we live through this," Varric interjected.
"Agreed," Vivienne sighed. "Have you seen the uncorrupted templars standing against the red? Keep your head, my dears, and this day may yet be salvaged."
"They need to be challenged," I stated, "But there has been enough resistance to prove to me that all hope is not lost for the Order. First, we need to stop Envy and finish off the red templars."
Cassandra and Cullen nodded. We grabbed the remaining untainted lyrium, Vivienne and I using magic to cause the chests to float behind us so none of us had to carry it for longer than necessary. Cullen and Cassandra cut down any red templars that crossed our paths after Vivienne and I frozen them solid. Varric kept an eye out for archers until we were back in the main hall. Another battle had taken place in our absence, a few more of the uncorrupted templars had fallen.
"Ser Barris!" I yelled. "The lyrium!"
Barris turned in our direction, the other templars following suit. Barris's green eyes met mine. "There are more of the red ones beyond the barrier, they are sure to come out once we start attacking."
"We will fight," Cullen assured the templar. "You just focus on Envy."
Barris nodded. "We will break this beast," he promised.
They opened the chests and each templar took a philter. Ceremoniously, one after the other drank the lyrium while the others pounded their swords against their shields in encouragement. They all knew they could die, all knew they were fighting for the honor of their Order; yet, as they downed the lyrium any sense of fear seemed to vanish from them.
Instead, their eyes burned with fury and determination - fearless in the face of death. They approached the dais below the barrier, drawing their swords which now brimmed with light as I felt them beginning to dispel the magic. They bowed before the barrier, leaning against their swords, as Barris began to speak the Chant.
Vivienne and I each erected thick walls of ice around them, one last defense from the red templars. We put our backs to the templars and listened as Cullen gave orders.
"Same as before," Cullen ordered. "Ice walls to funnel them, Cassandra and I will stand at the front. Varric and Vivienne volley from the back. Herald, barriers and maintain the ice walls." As soon as the barrier began to erode, red templars poured through it. "Now!"
With a grunt, I slammed my staff into the ground, causing ice walls to erupt behind and on either side of us. With effort, I willed it to grow spikes, to attack the red templars as much as it defended us. Soon, they poured into the opening, Cullen and Cassandra yelling in challenge.
The ring of swords clashing and blades meeting shields echoed within the ice. Bianca sounded with each arrow Varric released and Vivienne taunted the templars as she erected ice spikes to kill them.
I protected them all with barriers. As we fought, I felt the demon's barrier weakening as the templars poured their all into dispelling it. On and on it went, until finally no more came.
We heard the templars cry out and the barrier fall. I willed the ice walls to disappear, revealing that they had all collapsed from exhaustion. "Barris?!" I called.
I found the templar, leaning against his sword, panting heavily. "Get that demon. End it!" he bit out, his eyes blazing as they met mine.
"Let's go!" I called to the others. "I have a vow to keep."
We made our way up the steps behind the dais and out the back of the fortress. It was crumbling in places, stained glass windows dotting the walls that were still intact. Stone benches sat every few feet until the walls opened to another courtyard and the remnants of a shrine. Red lyrium grew out of the ground and along the crumbling stone pillars. I heard the demon cackle, the sound raking across my mind once more.
"I touched so much of you, but you are selfish with your glory. Now I'm no one!" The demon cried before it crawled into view, making its way for me.
I clutched my head as the other's cried out for me. I felt the pain ease as I sensed Cole beside me. "Dark and desperate; death to make yourself alive. I used to be like you, but not anymore. You shouldn't be either!"
The demon shrieked at Cole's words and launched into an attack. It disappeared and reappeared all over the courtyard, never staying in one place for long.
"Herald, Vivienne," Cullen yelled. "Freeze it in place! On the count of three!" Envy had disappeared once more, but Cullen seemed unfazed. "One!" We searched the grounds, staves at the ready. "Two!" Heart pounding, the desire to see this thing ended growing. "Three!"
Envy erupted from the ground and we froze it. Immobile for a moment, Varric loaded it with arrows while Cullen, Cassandra and Cole attacked it with blades. Too soon, it broke free, releasing a cloud of smoke as it did. All of us coughing and blinking, we looked around to find the demon once more.
"Where is it?" I asked.
"It's trying to hide," Cole warned.
"Silence!" the demon screamed.
Around us, several copies of Cullen, Cassandra, Vivienne and Varric emerged. "They're not real!" Cole instructed.
The others paused for a moment, confusion lighting their faces as the projections readied their weapons. Swinging my staff around me to build up mana until I had enough, I released it. Ice flew from my staff in shards, targeting the fakes. With one strike they fell. "You cannot fool me, demon!"
Envy howled in frustration. "'What could you gain from being me'?" Envy questioned in my voice. "Everything." From a cloud of smoke, the demon appeared, but it was the demon no longer. It stood before us, nearly a perfect replica of me as Ellana. It's eyes - my eyes - landed on me and an evil smile spread across its face. "I still know you. All of you!" It looked to the others. "Would you attack your Herald?" It raised a hand in my direction, pointing a finger. "That is the imposter. I just escaped the Fade. You need to kill it!"
"You are not the Herald!" Cullen seethed, raising his sword.
The demon turned its eyes to Cullen. "Ah, yes. The one she would've had, but I will have instead. You arepretty to look at. Tell me, Commander. Does this form please you?" Cullen became rooted in the spot he had been standing in, his face white and eyes wide. Envy smiled broadly. "I knowyou will please me."
If I had not been watching him so intently, I would have missed the tiny step backwards Cullen took. I had never known him to run from anything, yet Envy - wearing my face - had him paralyzed. My face. 'Does this form please you'? Did the desire demon ask a similar question?
And Envy had all but promised that it would use Cullen - in every way. That it would use my face and then Ellana's to do it. I felt my gut tighten as something dark awoke within me at the thought.
"Don't worry," Cole assured as he met my eyes, appearing behind the demon. "It can't be you if it's dead."
Envy turned to Cole, its face - my face - twisting into a sneer. "Meddler, I will kill you last!"
I would not let this thing touch anyone else; I would not let it destroy anymore than it already had. With a savage cry, I rushed Envy - catching the creature off guard. It turned back to me too late, it's smile faltering as I shoved the blade of my staff into its chest, freezing all but it's head.
"You cannot do this!" It screeched, it's voice grating my bones. "I am Envy!"
"Envy this," I snarled as I drew one of my blades and plunged it into Envy's throat. It flailed in vain against its icy prison, black blood streaming from the wound. It continued to twitch and screech as it's face contorted, shifting from my face to it's own mutilated one. The ice was cracking with each movement it made, it would free itself soon.
"Quick!" Cole shouted. "While Envy has to be itself!"
Roaring at the creature, I wrenched the blade through, causing its head to grotesquely loll to one side. After a few death throes, the creature finally stilled. "Maker take you, you filth," I growled.
To the praise and relief of the others, I freed my blade and staff. Vivienne set the demon ablaze. Glancing up at the Breach that was visible in the distance, I swiped a sleeve across my face. Clearing off some of the hot blood I felt there, I turned back to the others.
All but Cullen had begun to walk back to where the remaining templars were approaching. Cullen stood rooted in the same spot, his chest heaving, blade held so tight I could see his gloves straining against his knuckles. His eyes were fixed on the demon's burning corpse as he panted, his body taut in readiness to protect himself. Approaching him slowly, his eyes met mine - like a cornered animal. He didn't move, didn't relax as I came closer. Gently, I placed a hand on his sword arm and he allowed me to lower it.
"It's over, Cullen," I murmured. "Envy is dead. It cannot hurt anyone else. We're safe." He continued to look at me, but it was as if he wasn't there, instead trapped in his mind. "Come back to me, Cullen," I whispered.
Blinking, his spell broke. He let out a shaky breath. "I-Forgive me, M-"
"-There is nothing to forgive," I gave him a small smile. "It...scared me too." His face fell in shame. "Please, Cullen," I urged, "I need you. We have to deal with the templars and I can't do it without you."
He took a deep breath, sheathed his sword and buckled his shield to his back. He closed his eyes for a moment and straightened, his eyes hard when he opened them, not looking at me. "Right. Let's go."
I knew something was eating at him, but he'd put it aside to deal with the problem at hand. When we were on the road once more, I would do my best to comfort him. We turned and, side by side, we headed towards the crowd of templars and our companions.
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