I really appreciate that you are taking the time to read this, so I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. I'm sorry this is so late, my schedule is getting a bit busier, but I will still try and update weekly although future chapters might also be a bit late.

Please leave reviews, with either positives or feedback and I will answer any questions here. Any ideas for the next chapter or recommendations for other fics are also welcome :) Thank you if you have reviewed!

For the purposes of this fic, Coulson knows about his death and May is level 8(so there are no secrets between them). I will also not be completely following the show-I might skip episodes and characters.

Disclaimer -I do not own Agents of Shield but I love it very much and have watched it multiple times.

Recap: After finding out that it was Coulson who shot her, May forced him through a High-tech lie detector test, blaming it on her 'complicated family.' The team have been called to Avengers Tower.

"Is everyone here?"

"Ward isn't, but if we wait, then everyone will spend 10 minutes laughing at his hair."

"Okay, listen up everyone. As some of you may have heard, we have been called to Avenger's tower. The reason has not yet been disclosed, we will be in the air for 5 hours and will update you with any further information. Dismissed.," Coulson said, finishing just as Ward arrived.

"Can someone fill him in?"

"I'll do it."

"Was there really no reason stated?"

"No, why are you so worried Mel?"

"Who called?"

"Tony Stark."

"Were any of the others there?"

"No."

"What did he say?"

"That SHIELD mobile unit 616 was to report to the tower, along with Romanoff and Barton. What aren't you telling me?"

"Phil, I'm really sorry you have to find out like this."

"Find out what, Mel?"

"I'm sorry, I can't say."

"You can't, or you don't want to?"

"No, its. Not like that."

"What do you mean. It's a simple matter of you can or you won't."

"No, it's not. I don't have the physical capability to remember parts of it."

"What?"

"When I was twenty, SHIELD gave me this to cope with the trauma. It blocks the most painful memories and leaves me incapable of telling certain secrets."

"Why?"

"It helps, it lets me live my life, but it has a few drawbacks," she said, lifting up her hair to expose a metal device at the base of her neck."

"Melinda, what…"

"No!" she said, as he reached out and touched it, before she could stop him."

"Linda?"

"Linda!"

"Simmons! I need medical, now!"

"What happened?"

"I don't know. Something to do with this?" he said, showing Simmons the implant."

"Is that? Why does May have…There are no medical records of… This project was shut down years ago."

"Why?"

"We need to…"

"Simmons. Look at me. Why was the project cancelled?"

"It can erase memories if left in for too long, cause brain damage and could cause her to be paralyzed from the neck down if not removed correctly."

"What can we do?"

"Call ahead, tell Stark that we need medical. All we can do for now is monitor her and keep her alive until we can get her appropriate help."

"What do you mean, keep her alive?"

"That device is killing her, sir."

"No. There must be something we can do!" he said, sounding desperate.

"It is too dangerous to operate without an experienced SHIELD neurologist."

"but..."

"Let me know if anything changes, I need to go and make a few calls. I'll send Hawkeye to pilot the plane."

"Mel would be pissed if she found out we let clint touch her Bus, send Nat."

"Why?... Ok I'll get Romanoff."

"Stay with me Mel," he said, pleadingly.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Mel?"

"I'm sorry I scared you. It's just been playing up a bit lately. I'm fine.

"I know when you're lying," he replied, sadly as he watched her flinch in pain, when she stood up.

"No…"

"How much pain are you in?"

"A lot," she said quietly, as she transferred most of her weight onto his shoulder.

"How long?"

"Since Peru, but it was bearable until yesterday," she admitted.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Phil, there is no easy way to say this, I only have a few weeks left. It's a matter of time and I wanted to spend that time with you, not in a hospital while someone tries to find a cure. I always knew the facts. I always knew that my days would be numbered, and no one could do anything, have since I was twenty."

"No, no, no. You're not going anywhere Mel. Simmons called ahead, when we land, the necessary specialists will be there. They can remove the device."

"No, they can't."

"Yes, they can Melinda, you're going to be OK."

"No. They can't. I never doubted the doctors' skills. I know for a fact that I would rather die than be exposed to the memories that they gave me that to erase. Did you even question the fact that they gave me that after the project was terminated? Marked as unsafe. It was a good reason, Phil. I made peace with its years ago. I have always struggled with the fact that I will have to leave you. The day drawing closer, it has never become easier but trust me when I tell you that you don't want to see me without this.

"We can get through it, Mel, we always do."

"You didn't read the reports."
"Mel."

"I don't want to leave you anymore than you want to leave me but living like that isn't living."

"Please don't go."
"Promise me that you won't remove it."

"Mel…"

"Promise me," she said pulling out her icer, tears pooling in her eyes.

"You know I would rather die that have you die."

"Either you promise me that you will let me die, or I shoot myself now. Your choice."

"I promise."

"Thank you. And I'm so, so sorry, Phil."

"I love you, Mel."

"I love you too."

Although she was slowly becoming more dependent on Phil to walk, she managed to grab a tablet from one of the shelves.

"If anyone tries to get you to remove it, show them this, but trust me when I tell you that you really don't want to read it, but I'm not stopping you."

"What is it?"

"My life, as SHIELD knows it, and even this is missing parts. Some of which you can get by giving Stark the message.

"What message, Mel."

"Tell him. Tell him I found her. Tell him Jay is dead."

"Mel?"

"Mel!"

"Stay with me."

"I promised you that I wouldn't save you, but please just stay alive."

"We are landing in five, buckle in," came Natasha's voice through the comms, but he barely noticed. He was in a world of his own. Only him and the woman he loved, but she was slipping away. Her small hand sliding through his finger, no matter how hard he held on. Staring at the small form lying in his arms, he tried to digest it, but he couldn't. Melinda was dying, and he had to let her. What he had once thought too Good to be true, was. She was going to leave him, and he wasn't sure how long he could live in a world where she wasn't. Classmate, friend, lover, she had always had his back and he had had hers, until now. It was his fault that they couldn't save her.

"Phil, its not your fault, you never could have known."

"Natasha."

"Yeah?"

"You knew. Didn't you?"

"I did. I'm sorry Phil."

"How?"

"When we were in Vegas… We were all too drunk to remember, but Mel and I had a habit of hiding audio devices. In our clothing- that way, we got to keep the blackmail about people, but they don't remember anything about us."

"How…?"

"We were listening through it all when we reached the point in the audio. She looked like she had seen a ghost when she heard it mentioned. She briefly explained it, before leaving our flat. I think her exact words were 'This device is letting me live and killing me at once. One day I will die, a long time before I should, and you need to look out for him. He cannot be told until I am living my last days, but I love him, and even if he doesn't love me back, I need you to be there for him. Look after Phil, Tasha. You need to be the one to tell him to move on after I'm gone, find new friends, forget about me because I know that when the time comes, I won't be able to say that.'"

"She loved me back then?"

"Have you always been this blind, or was it something you both developed when you met? Mels has loved you since she was twenty-one and I would bet good money on the fact that you loved her back then as well. You each chased the other round in circles for years. Mel even married Andrew in an attempt to get over you. An attempt, I must add, which epically failed as she only fell for you harder when Andrew failed her after Bahrain."

"And you know this how?"

"Come on Phil. I think everyone except you two have known that you've been in love since a year after you met."

"But none of it matters now. She is going to die and leave me alone. I always thought she would outlive us all. She had the skills to live decades into her retirement, but I guess I was wrong. I guess it was Wishful thinking. She doesn't care enough to want to stay."

"How could you think that!" Natasha said angrily.

"She said that even if the doctors could remove that device, she wouldn't want them to. She said she would rather die."

"You didn't see her when you died."

"What?"

"When you died. She refused to believe you were gone. She stayed with your body for 42 hours, refusing to move, she shut herself away, distancing herself from everyone she loved. And the worst part? After your funeral, she was admitted to hospital with lethal doses of medication. She tried to kill herself because she couldn't live in a world without her. So don't you dare say she didn't care."

"She did what?"

"Yeah, you heard correctly."

"Why didn't she say…"

"You know Melinda, she wasn't proud of it. She got in a dark place, and she couldn't bare to live without you. She didn't mention it because she saw it as a moment of weakness. A moment where she let herself get hurt."

"You should have stopped her."

"You know as well as I do that no-one can 'stop' Mel. She does what she wants whenever she wants. She lives by her own rules, not the rules of others. We need to go, we landed ten Minutes ago and the team will be getting suspicious.

"What do we tell them?"

"Nothing. She wouldn't want them to know until it's concrete."

"Phil. She's not going to survive. You need to understand that. I made peace with that 20…"

"I've already head that once tonight."

"She woke up. Didn't she."

"Yes. She did. Nothing she was saying made a lot of sense."

"What do you mean?"

"She said. She said she had known since she was twenty. That she had made peace with it. She said she would rather die that have it removed. She said…. She... She…pointed s gun at her own head… Told me that if I didn't care about my own life, then at least I cared about hers, made me promise not to remove it. She…She gave me this, level eight clearance file, parts redacted as far as level 10. Why is Mel's file so high security? What dark secrets has she left me to find on my own? And who the hell is Jay?"

"What did she say about her?"

"She said to tell Stark that Jay was dead. That it would reveal more secrets than were hid in the file."

"Stark? That I'm surprised at. I have a guess as to who Jay is, but Stark is a name I didn't think I'd hear in this equation."

"So you didn't know that Mel knew Stark either?"

"No clue."

"Who do you think Jay is?"

"Sister, close friend or cousin. The way she acts. Its like she has lost something. And not her parents. I've always suspected sister, maybe even twin sister, but she never mentioned anything, so I left the trail."

"Mel has a sister?"

"I didn't think she had any siblings… but."

"She has a brother- I don't know his name, and her mother is Lian May,"

"How do you know that?"

"It was kind of strange actually, back at the house She was telling me everything, when the housekeeper woman came in. Anna, I think she was. But she's more than a housekeeper. Judging by the way they acted around eachother, I would say she was as close, or closer with Anna than she was with her parents. Anna shouted at her, told her off for speaking, and she just agreed. Completely left off all names."

"I'm going to run a search through the SHIELD data base, it should alert me when any results come in- any files with Mel and keyword Jay in the same file."

"You won't find anything."

"Mel?"

"I'm not explaining twice, were going to the tower," she said, leaning heavily on Coulson has the walked off the bus."

I'm sorry how late this chapter is, and please forgive me for the content :) I found this chapter quite interesting, as it looks more from Coulson's perspective and dialogue, so please let me know what you prefer. As always, I really appreciate reviews, so just any random thoughts on ways to improve it, things you liked or story recommendations.