I really appreciate that you are taking the time to read this, so I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. I'm sorry this is so late, my schedule is getting a bit busier, but I will still try and update weekly although future chapters might also be a bit late.
Please leave reviews, with either positives or feedback and I will answer any questions here. Any ideas for the next chapter or recommendations for other Fics are also welcome :) Thank you if you have reviewed!
For the purposes of this fic, Coulson knows about his death and May is level 8(so there are no secrets between them). I will also not be completely following the show-I might skip episodes and characters.
Disclaimer -I do not own Agents of Shield but I love it very much and have watched it multiple times.
Recap: Coulson just found out that May was being killed by a memory blocking device that she has had since she was 20, she made him promise not to save her, and now he has to deal with the fact that she will die very soon. They landed the bus at Avengers tower, and May just woke up from her state of unconsciousness, telling Natasha and Coulson to help her off the bus because 'she didn't want to explain twice'."
"Mel, it's probably not a great idea to try and walk."
"I'll be fine. I've walked on worse injuries."
"Melinda, your dying, take it easy."
"Since when have I ever agreed to that?"
"Fair point," laughed Natasha.
"Come on. We are wasting time. You both know that I'll go whether you help me or not."
"Okay, let's go."
"So, you know Stark?"
"I was more surprised to find out that you knew him."
"Why?" he responded, confused.
"Oh, of course, you had no way of knowing that…Sorry, I'll explain once we're all in the same room."
"I'm sorry in advance for not telling you both. I. I really wanted to, but until now, I couldn't.
"It's okay, we understand."
"But it's not okay. I've lied. So much to you both. You don't even know my real name!"
"Wait. What?"
"Yeah."
"How did I not guess?"
"I'm better at a lot of things that I made out."
"Wait. So, you can actually cook?"
"No," she laughed "It just included pretty good computer skills, fluent Russian, Spanish, German and Portuguese, and a small talent of lying."
"So, all the time Clint and I have talked about you behind your backs in Russian, you've understood?!"
"Maybe?"
"Mel!" Natasha groaned.
"You two have had some pretty entertaining conversations."
"So, I'm the only one who never understood?" Phil asked frustratedly.
"Maybe," Melinda said, looking slightly guilty.
"MELINDA, WHAT THE HELL?!" Stark shouted as she walked into the room.
"Tony."
"No. Don't 'Tony' me. You left. I thought you were dead for more than thirty years. I thought you were killed!"
"So did everyone else. That was the idea!"
"So, what you just leave. Vanish off the face of the planet? You left us, Mel. You left me and you left Jay! You were only thinking about yourself! Did you even consider the matter that we might have wanted to come with you?"
"Tony. We both know that neither of you would have wanted to run away to SHIELD."
"You were twelve. Couldn't you have waited? You left your own twin sister to believe you were dead! How could you even do that?"
"She was happy. She was with a good family. So were you. I couldn't take that away from you both."
"You could have told us you were alive, but no. You left us to find out from the unsympathetic sister Margret. Why did you have to pretend to die? Couldn't you just run away?"
"I almost did die."
"What."
"The system isn't kind to everyone, you know. You and Jay just got lucky. I was placed with two other girls, ages ten and eight. The woman generally forgot we were there. It wasn't Good, but it was tolerable. Her husband was different. He would get in tempers after coming home drunk. He would hit us, belt us, lock us in cupboards. All for no reason. The last straw was pulled when Jade dropped a glass. He got in a rage, so I said it was me. Told themselves to go to their room and lock the door. When he found out, he was calm until he started screaming. He put a knife through my stomach and tried to kill me. I ran. Took Jade and Elena to SHIELD. Joined the Academy a month later. They were sent to better homes"
"You could have still told us."
"I tracked Jay down a few years later. She had a family. Twin daughters- Daisy and Aella, born in 1988. I found her. When the girls were two. She was murdered by her husband a few months later, the girls were already scattered into the system by the time I found out," biting her lip, to hold back tears.
"No, she can't be."
"I know."
The two hugged each other tightly, not letting go for at least a few minutes.
"So how do you know each other? Are you her twin sister's friend or something?" Natasha asked.
"No. You're her brother, aren't you," Phil realised.
"Wait. You're Tony Stark's sister?" Skye said, pushing the door open.
"What possessed you to not soundproof your walls?"
"It didn't seem necessary."
"Really? Your mother was deputy head of the CIA, your father was constantly under death threats, and your sister, aunt and cousin are SHIELD agents. What possessed you to forget about soundproofing?"
"I assume you were eavesdropping on everything?"
"No…Yes."
"I guess I can't really tell you off for doing something I trained you to do."
"You're the girl who vanished."
"What?"
"At St. Agnes's. There is a story. A girl who disappeared. When the social carer went to visit the house, the only things out of the ordinary were blood and broken glass. The other two girls came back, but she never did. Assumed dead, but no body was ever found."
"Probably."
"For the record, I completely agree with that stance on Foster care."
"If it makes you feel better, I punched Sister Margret on my First day. She tried to take away my gun, so I punched her in the face."
"That actually helps a lot," Skye said grinning. She could imagine the strict, mean Nun being punched in the face by 12-year-old May."
"She also got kicked by Jay for trying to change all of our names."
"What did she try to give you? I was cursed with Mary-Sue."
"Elizabeth-Marie, and Agatha-Catherine. She got to use them a grand total of once."
"She just wouldn't stop when I punched her."
"We were a special case. They knew who we were. Everyone else knew who we were as well, so their names for us just didn't stick. I didn't bother hiding my name until I ran away, where I had to drop my last name to stay hidden."
"How did you get away?"
"I had a knife in me. They assumed I was dead and gave up pretty quickly."
"So how many times have you almost died now?"
"I'm not going to let you make Natasha pay you several thousand dollars by admitting that."
"How did you."
"I'm not completely ignorant. I know you've had that bet going for years. I also know that it almost doubled in value when Fury joined in."
"It's not just a few thousand dollars," Phil admitted, sheepishly.
"Yeah, I think it involved a car, the latest phone, and a few months of doing double missions, while the winner gets holiday."
"The other two I get, but why the hell does the winner have to be forced into that much rest time. Sounds like torture."
"Unlike you Mel, not everyone sees holiday as punishment."
"Holiday is just glorified bed rest."
"Can't you just stop being pessimistic for once?"
"It's realism not pessimism. We all know that you get bored after two or three days."
"We can last for five or six, Mel."
"Shut up. It's boring, okay?"
"But you on bed rest is such a universally hilarious topic."
"Hey! What were the numbers anyways?"
"I was on 8, Phil was on 26, and Nick was on 39, which is absolutely ridiculous, but we wanted the rewards, so we didn't tell him."
"You and Phil actually owe Nick a lot of money. The exact amount is 42, 43 if you count the incident when I was eight."
"We count it Mel," Tony responded."
"What happened."
"Tony found one of Moms guns under the house and shot it at me because he didn't think it was loaded."
"You what?" Phil squeaked.
"Don't worry. I was fine, it just went through my shoulder."
"Just your shoulder?!"
"Relax Phil."
"Permission to lock her in her room so that she cannot die, or almost die ever."
"You know that my room couldn't contain me. Plus, it couldn't stop me from dying."
"Mel."
"Dammit Phil. I have two weeks. I don't want to spend them lying to my brother!"
"What?"
"I'm sorry Tony."
"You are not allowed to die Mel."
"It's not like I want to die you know! It's not my choice! I made peace with that. So should you!" she said, leaving the room."
After a few seconds Tony left the room as well, and seeing this, Phil headed out the door as well, to go after Melinda."
"She was joking right?" Skye said, turning to Natasha."
"No Skye. She isn't."
"What?"
"Phil didn't take it well either."
"No, she can't. May can't die. Fitzsimmons can…"
"There is only one way to save her and. And she won't let us."
"What do you mean she won't let us. That's not her choice. She's not the one who has to live after she is dead.
"Even if we did save her, she wouldn't be the same."
"What do you mean, the same."
Natasha stared sadly at the tablet, before slowly entering her clearance codes and passing it over to Skye, who waited a second before taking it."
"What is this?"
"Melinda's file."
"No. I can't read that."
"Why not?"
"It's an invasion of her privacy. She always respects me, and where the others ask questions, she just leaves it. It would feel so wrong to just read her life of a page. If she hasn't told me, it's because she doesn't want me to know, and if she doesn't want me to know, then I don't want to know."
"Ok but the offer stands. If you change your mind, just come and ask me."
"I won't."
"Tony, I'm sorry."
"If you were sorry, then you would let me help."
"You don't understand the side effects of fixing this."
"Whatever they are, we can handle them."
"I can't though."
"I only remember parts, and I can't go through that again."
"You can't, or you don't want to?"
"Both. Tony, I don't want to leave, I've just found my brother again, I'm engaged to my best friend and lover of twenty years, and I just went back into the field to lead our own strike team. Everything is perfect for me, I want to continue living like this, but that's not an option. This is not an option."
"What would happen if you removed the device?"
"I would get all the memories back. All at once. I've read it all in my file- endless failed missions on tiny leads to find Jay's twins, endless failed missions to track down her killer, screaming nightmares about Mom and Dad dying, killing the girl in Bahrain, letting my partner dye in Lima, Phil's death, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts. I've only read about it all. I already blame myself. I don't want to imagine what it would be like to feel all of that at once, in five seconds. Its gradually losing functionality- when I saw Camilla Reyes, it brought back the memories of my partners death."
"We can deal with it together Mel."
"No, we can't Tony. We can't, and when I die, I need a favour. I need Camilla Reyes killed, and Victoria Hand freed."
"Who are..."
"Just do it, please. And promise me you won't try and save me."
"No."
This is a bit late because I am very busy, so I might not be able to update on Monday. If I don't, please stay with me, I have not forgotten about this story, and I will update as soon as possible. For followers of 'From the Depths of Hydra' I might not update for a while, because I only update when I have spare time from writing this fic, and I am very busy. Thank you for reading, as always, please leave a review because I love to hear your opinions.