Patrick: the nuclear alternative
It was a slow day at the Krusty Krab and Spongebob was flipping the patties as usual. Patrick came in, starving for a patty. His body was unusually thin and flappy
"I need a triple krabby patty with cheese, My stomach is receding! HELP ME!"
Patrick's screams were annoying the customers who chose to leave. The doors immediately locked and Eugene forced them back into their seats, shotgun at the ready.
"nobody leaves until the meal IS FINISHED!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. He turned to Patrick with rage in his eyes, determined to kill the fat blob for good. He had Spongebob whip up a patty filled to the brim with cheese, queso, some foreign ingredient called sauerkraut and a forty five patties injected with more cheese until the patty was leaking cheese. The customers drooled and darted for the patty. Patrick killed half of them and cowed the rest into obedience while tormenting their gullets with the sandwich of their dreams. He ate in front of them in enjoyment and they whimpered. One fish had enough and slipped Eugene a bottle of Polonium 210 which he added to the second patty. Patrick never knew what he ate and ran for the toilet as soon as his stomach grumbled. Green began to emanate from the stall, radioactive green.
As Patrick began straining, Eugene slowly backed out of the restaurant to avoid the incoming blast and glued the door shut. Squidward was still pulling and banging on the door when Patrick, the Krusty Krab and half of Bikini Bottom went up in a cloud of super-heated vapor. Squidward was cooked to 400 degrees and breaded. Spongebob was hungry after the ordeal and Squidward, still screaming, was eaten alive. He endured Spongebob's cramped stomach and screamed as he was devoured by the gastric juices. He was eaten to the bone, pristine but rendered a skeleton. Suddenly he was compacted into a ball and saw the light, along with other horrid objects
He emerged from the toilet, his bones covered in feces and his back weak from pain.
He found Spongebob and covered him in ketchup, mustard, wood shavings, shellac, spackle and shoved a block of wood up his ass. As Spongebob screamed in pain, Squidward ate the screaming sponge with relish. Spongebob strained with all his might but the wood only moved upwards. He screamed, strained, begged and took laxatives to no avail. Finally the wood reached his brain stem.
Squidward doubled over in pain as Spongebob crawled out of Squidward through his eye socket, angry as all hell and itching like mad. He scratched his brain and all hell broke loose. Squidward clutched his bleeding eye in howling pain.
The scream broke the sound barrier as the splinters in his hands pierced his brain, bounced around the cranium and lodged themselves in the wall around his brain. It triggered an itch so bad that his nails began to bleed. The itch grew and grew until he scratched himself to a skeleton and his feet bled from the pain.
Squidward laughed at his torment and threw him into a wood chipper. Spongebob sighed with relief before screaming bloody murder as he was reduced to bloody yellow chunks