Chapter 7
Silverclaw awoke to the sound of clanging. Loud clanging.
As he started to pad out of the den, he heard clanging and banging, and we all know that clanging plus banging equals trouble.
Silverclaw emerged into the clearing just in time to see two strange warriors padding through the camp entrance, with pots and pans. That's what the banging was.
As he got closer, he could see what the two strange warriors looked like: A skinny brown tabby tom and a cream-colored tom with a stump for a tail. Both had pots on their heads and were making a huge racket. They were also smiling, and it was really creepy.
Several other warriors emerged from the den, hissing at the strangers and forming a circle around them.
The strange cats didn't move.
They just stared on.
It felt like moons before the brown tabby finally spoke. "HI Y'ALL!"
Just then, a birch tree fell on the camp.
"I'M BIRCHFALL! I CAN'T REMEMBER IF I'M DEAD YET OR NOT, BUT WHATEVER! I'M HERE TO CAUSE TROUBLE!"
Halftail rolled his eyes. "Okay, whatever, but please stop talking in ALL CAP. We're losing viewers."
Birchfall ignored him.
Then, the cream-colored cat spoke. "Wassup dudes!"
Suddenly, a giant Twoleg appeared with a strawberry for a nose. Then he disappeared.
"I'm Berrynose! I don't think I'm dead... wait hold on..." He paused and started flipping through the pages of The Place of No Stars. "Aw, man! I AM dead! Well, whatever! I'm not a ghost so who cares!"
Halftail growled, "Stop talking in bold! If you want attention, you gotta have the balance between ALL CAP/bold and regular talk! Otherwise, people won't like you!"
"Okay, sorry," Berrynose and Birchfall chorused.
Then they grabbed all the Warriors books and started throwing them all over the camp. "Warriors books for everyone!" Yowled Birchfall.
Berrynose held up his copy of The Place of No Stars. "Who wants the new one? Who's gonna get it? FIGHT!"
Everyone, including Silverclaw, started blundering through the crowd, trying to reach the book. Nobody ended up getting it, so the camp turned into a mosh pit. Berrynose and Birchfall floated up to the ceiling and watched from there.
Suddenly, warriors from all the other Clans started pouring into the mosh pit, because apparently they'd heard about the release of The Place of No Stars.
It was chaos.
Then, a completely new cat appeared, holding up a huge box completely filled with copies of the new book.
"Hey guys, you don't have to fight! I have a whole box right here!"
Everybody turned their heads toward the box, and a couple cats started drooling.
"MINEEEE!" Several cats screeched, hurling themselves through the crowd to reach the book box. Others followed.
When the cats reached the box, the new cat held it out of reach.
"Nuh-uh. First, you guys have to recite the poem."
Everybody was confused.
"What poem?" The question rippled through the gathering cats.
"Let's see here... We can do the one called "Jayfeather is a grumpy grump", or the one called "Leafpool and Squirrelflight are big fat liars", or what about "Bramblestar sucks"?"
"No, those are boring! I wanna do the one called Silverscreen is the best!" Silverscreen shouted. Silverscreen was an exact copy of Silverstream, but she had a computer screen on her stomach. (Don't even ask how I came up with that)
"Come on! Listen to me, then let's recite this one," Said the mysterious cat, whose name was The Poem Master.
Jayfeather is a grumpy grump.
Grumpy grumpin' all day long.
He's never gonna brighten up,
So that's why I'm singin' this song.
There was alllllways a waaaaay
To maaaake him maaaaad
So you couldn't even talk, couldn't even walk,
Not without 'im making a fuss, oh yeaaaahhh
Everybody stared at The Poem Master, dissatisfied.
"That was kinda cringy bro..." Said a WindClan warrior.
The Poem Master started pouting and disappeared, leaving the book box on the ground.
Everybody grabbed a copy of The Place of No Stars, and started reading it.
Before sitting down, Silverclaw realized something:
He'd been caught up in all this funny business for so long, he'd forgotten about Redstripe! Sure, he might hate him for what he did, but Redstripe needed to come home!
It just wasn't quite as fun now that Silverclaw's best friend was somewhere unknown to the Clans. Besides, reality was starting to collide with the Funnyverse, and the Clan would need more than one warrior who actually wanted to restore balance...
Chapter 8 coming soon