Ethan returned home with Shaun, parking the car outside the basement parking lot of the condo. The snow had increased significantly, so the man helped his son walk into the driveway before bringing the decorations and gifts home. Shaun didn't like snow much, but he remembered very well his brother simply lying on the ground and making snow angels as if he was completely immune to the cold, and his mother always told him not to lie down because he would get sick. It was funny, his brother was funny. His father showed up with the groceries and the two of them headed for the stairs, Shaun volunteered to carry one of the bags until they got to the door.
"Thanks, Shaun! Shall we go to the police station?"
"Are you going to talk to that man?" Shaun asked, excitedly.
"Yes, of course! He should be there, leave that bag on the kitchen table and let's go back to the car!"
The boy hurried up and left everything on the table, going back into the hallway and holding his father's hand, and so the two of them headed for the police station. Ethan turned on the radio and the news report said that the snow this year would be thicker than the last three years, while Shaun drew pictures on the car window of smiley faces and stick figures. As he stopped at the light at an intersection, his father turned to him and saw him concentrating as he tried to draw a picture of a man in a suit and sunglasses and quickly erased it.
"Who was that over there?" Ethan held back his laughter, for he knew exactly what he was drawing.
"Nobody! You don't ask an artist what he's doing!" Shaun replied wiping the rest of the window clean.
"Oh, then forgive me, Mr. Painter!" He shook his head and started driving again as soon as the signal gave the green light.
It didn't take long for them to arrive at the police station. Ethan turned off the car and quietly kept his keys in his pockets, thinking about the times he had been there: as a victim, as an accused. He almost met a cruel fate by lying about being the murderer, deep down he knew he wasn't capable of hurting his own children. He wasn't capable of such cruelty, even though he doubted himself several times, but therapy helped him understand that the problem actually was all the trauma he had been through and that relapses like those would occur sooner or later (just like his blackouts); Shaun nudged his leg, asking if everything was okay.
"A-Ah, yeah, yeah...it's just that a lot has happened here, I didn't expect to be back so soon."
"Uh...how about...how about we wait him out and then you invite him in? You don't have to come in if you don't want to, Dad!"
Shaun was right. Ethan was surprised at his son's suggestion and smiled in confirmation, nodding.
"All right, we'll wait him out." He removed his seat belt and leaned his shoulder on the car door, while the boy went back to drawing on the glass.
Snow flakes were falling and piling up on the hood and mirrors as the seconds ticked by, while a random rock song played on the radio at a low volume. People were leaving and entering the police station and Ethan saw some lights going out on some of the windows in the building, no sign of the agent yet, maybe he didn't see him? Maybe he had taken an early vacation? He turned off the car's headlights and told Shaun to get out of the car because they were going to go inside for a few seconds to ask if Jayden was there, so they did. He held the boy's hand tightly and guided him through the snow so he wouldn't fall or slip, until they reached the entrance. The place didn't seem to be that busy and only a few officers working at their desks (and very sleepy) - "Where could he be?" - Father and son walked around looking at the windows of the rooms, but no sign of Norman.
"I think he's gon-" Before he could finish his sentence, they both heard a small knock coming from a room that was near the bathrooms. Ethan approached the door and knocked, with no response. "Norman Jayden? It's Ethan, Shaun's dad!" He knocked again and looked at the boy. "Stay right here, okay? Watch the door for me." The boy nodded, making a salute as Ethan slowly opened the door, and soon saw the agent in the corner of the room, next to the bookcase, sitting on the floor and with his arms covering his head. "...Jayden?"
The man took a few steps and approached him, watching his trembling hands slightly pulling his hair in an attempt to calm himself. Ethan nudged his shoulder enough to make the man jump with a gasp - the fright he took at feeling the presence of a real person; a real touch-but he didn't have enough reflex to hide the tube of Triptocaine inside his suit. He knew that Ethan had noticed the object in his hands but decided not to ask - it was better to leave it as it was, for the moment he was more surprised to see him there again, he believed that everything was over in the OK case or at least he had nothing more to say (besides a thank you and a gentle hug from the man, that anyone would have done); Norman rubbed his hands over his face and tried to pull himself together, but his legs were still weak from the withdrawal effect of the drugs - and the unbearable headache it brought if not inhaled soon.
Damn it, Jayden.
"Is everything okay...? Sorry to barge in like this, I knocked on the door but no one answered. I was behind you, I didn't expect to find you on the floor - " The agent interrupted him with a slight laugh, shaking his head.
"...Excuse me, I...why are you here anyway? Don't tell me Shaun..."
"No! God, no! He's here with me, right at the door. I asked him to stay there, but - Is it okay if I call him in?"
Norman nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as he leaned his head against the wall. Ethan stood up and walked behind his son, motioning for him to come in and close the door. The boy cracked a smile at the sight of the agent - however he quickly became concerned as he saw the state of the man, totally hostage to the pain he was having at the moment.
"Agent Jayden! The...Are you okay, sir?" Shaun put his hands on the chair and sat in it, while Ethan sat on the edge of the table, crossing his arms waiting for an answer.
"Er, Uh - I just have a horrible headache, Shaun... it's good to see you again. I'm just sorry I'm not as..." He groaned as he felt a twinge at the back of his head, as if someone was sticking needles into his brain, he bit his tongue to hold back a 'fuck'.
"Don't you want to go to the hospital?" Ethan suggested, and Norman's eyes widened.
"Never - I hate hospitals, it's easier for me to come out of there sicker than cured of something." He propped one arm on the wall and another hand on the floor, forcing his legs to stretch in an attempt to stand. The other man held him up before he fell, Norman looking down at the floor with an embarrassed expression.
"Take it easy." He said keeping him on his feet "How much longer before your shift ends?"
"What...what time..." Norman lowered his left arm and looked at the clock, there were a few minutes left. "...it's about to be over, meanwhile -" he pushed Ethan away slowly, without sounding rude, and stood against the wall using his legs only as a support. Walking was out of the question until his senses returned completely. "What are you doing here?"
"I was -" Ethan ran a hand behind his head and scratched his beard, thoughtful. He remembered what Madison had said, about Norman not being a very active guy - socially speaking - and after seeing his situation there, he was more likely to refuse. "Shaun and I are going to celebrate Christmas Eve with a nice dinner, a friend of mine will be there, and we both thought we'd call you - " He put his hands in his pockets and looked at the agent a little awkwardly, "...to thank you for what you've done for us."
Norman blinked quickly, frowning immediately afterwards in surprise. Christmas dinner? At the house of the man he saved? This day was really testing him like never before. He smiled slightly, but quickly pulled back as he looked at Shaun and remembered the messages he had received. It was too dangerous to go out with anyone or participate in any activity at that moment besides work, because if the person who was stalking him saw him with Mars, they would probably involve him in all that shit. "Shit, what the fuck! What the fuck! Why just now?!", Norman thought to himself and it was such a vivid thought that Ethan noticed it in his expression, and how quickly he showed a defensive posture - of course the architect was not good at reading people but the FBI agent was not good at hiding what he was thinking and soon he already predicted the answer.
"I-I-I'd love to join in, but..." Shaun looked anxiously at the two men, holding one hand in the other as if asking Norman 'please'. "...I-I don't really like...these social events, to be honest I've never celebrated Christmas since I left my parents' house. Every day seems the same to me."
"Are you sure?" Ethan said in a disappointed but calm voice.
"Hmhm. I appreciate the invitation anyway, it was very kind of you to come here and care on top of that... thank you so much." He swallowed dryly, nothing in the world could describe how much self-hatred he was feeling for turning down the only opportunity he had to have any kind of friendship - or a decent dinner. He didn't lie about not celebrating holidays, this was the perfect chance to get back to a normal life.
I am really sorry, little Shaun Mars. But I think our story ends here, short though it may be. At least I did my job.
"S'okay, no problem. Don't you want help getting off the station?"
"..." He moved one of his legs, it was still weak; crappy Tripto. "I do, please."
Ethan nodded, putting one arm behind his back and holding his left arm with the other. Shaun was visibly saddened by Norman's refusal, he really wanted the agent to attend the party even if only for a few minutes. The man looked at him, making a mental note of not having children - he already had an idea of what it was like to disappoint a child. It didn't take long for them to get outside, it was starting to get really windy and the vision was too horrible to drive around without hitting someone - so Ethan turned to Jayden still holding him.
"Are you sure you can drive in this weather and the state you're in?" he shouted, the wind muffling his voice.
"Yes, I am! My car is that Impala down the street!" Norman shielded his eyes with his right hand, the icy air tearing at his face and turning his lips purple. He had never witnessed weather like that.
Ethan gave his hand to Shaun, keeping him close as best he could as he walked in the opposite direction of the wind, pathetically getting close to the car while Jayden looked for his keys - it was too dangerous to drive, so he decided to just sit inside the car to warm up and wait for things to calm down. Norman pressed the alarm button, unlocking the doors.
"Thank you, Mr. Mars!" he let go of Ethan, looking up at him as his hair swayed in the wind.
"No need to thank me! I hope you have a nice Christmas!" Ethan replied keeping Shaun behind him, to avoid the freezing air hitting his face.
Jayden didn't want to keep that conversation too long, so he just got into the car through the passenger door and over to the driver's seat, completely frozen and numb from the pain he was feeling all over his body. He searched desperately in the glovebox for his gloves, in an attempt to warm his slightly purple fingertips. His lips trembled as the headache hammered at the back of his head without the slightest pity, watching Ethan disappear with Shaun into the snow and his face lowered slowly; his forehead bumped against the horn, making a long sound - but he couldn't hear it in the wind - his eyes closed slowly as his thoughts floated away and formed a dark cloud, his heart clenched like a fist and tears began to stream down his cold skin, falling onto the steering wheel;
I just wanted a normal life.
Something to keep me away from all this hell.
I would do anything to get out of it, even give up my badge, all my years of work. It's not worth it here, look what happened to you today, Norman. The only person in years who came to you, and helped you through such a difficult time... and you pushed him away;
He lifted his face, stopping the horn; There was only the sound of the wind outside, it's like he was wearing his ARI, a storm around him reflecting his thoughts; a cold storm. The pain in his body didn't seem as great now as the pain of being alone.
Of feeling alone.
Norman closed his fists, trembling, and punched the horn until he muffled his cry.