AN: Thanks to ZeldaIsis for the reviews and enouragement. And thanks to all my readers and followers. I couldn't do it without you!
"Hey guys," Sam said with a tap on the door. Both Jack and Leah were engrossed in Frozen which was playing on the laptop. Leah jumped up excitedly and held out her long braid for his appraisal.
"Look Sam, I look like Elsa!" The girl danced around the room excitedly. Of course, with her dark hair and too big plaid shirt, she looked nothing like the Queen of Arendelle, but he smiled at her anyway. Soon enough he would be squashing her joyful enthusiasm.
"Yeah, you do," he offered. Jack had a puzzled expression on his face, but he politely kept his comments to himself.
"Um, Jack, do you mind if I speak to Leah alone for a minute?" He didn't want to toss the kid out of his own room, but the upcoming conversation required a bit of privacy.
"Sure, I'll go see if there are any cookies left." Once Jack had closed the door behind him, Sam climbed onto the side of the bed and gestured the little girl over. Leah paused her twirling and came to stand in front of him obediently.
"Have you been having fun?" he hedged, not sure exactly how to begin.
"Yes. Jack and Castiel have been showing me movies and Miss Mary let me borrow her shirt, and Mr. Bobby let me have as much to eat as I wanted." Her eyes sparkled with delight at all the previously denied pleasures.
"That's...that's great Leah. I uh, I have some news to tell you." She waited, fiddling with the end of her braid while he gathered his thoughts. "So, uh do you remember when we were at the hospital in Hansen? Where the doctors looked you over and took your blood?" At that her expression grew more sober.
"Yes, I didn't like that place. Are we going back there?" she asked, a tinge of fear in her voice.
"No. No, we're never going back there." A flicker of relief passed over her face. "But what the doctors discovered is that Abraham and Damaris are not really your parents." She blinked at him in confusion.
"I don't understand," she whispered. He patted the bed next to him and she sat down. He took one of her slim hands in his.
"Well, when you were a very little girl, Abraham and Damaris took you away from your real parents. Before you lived with them, you lived in Fresno, California with your mom and dad." She continued to look confused, and he gentled his voice even more. "Your real name is Olivia." Staring down at their joined hands, her eyes grew distant.
"Olivia," she repeated softly, as if trying the name on to check for fit. Then she gripped his hand in alarm. "Wait, does this mean I'm in the wrong body like you?"
"No, you're in the right body," he reassured her with a smile. "The Farlows just called you by the wrong name." She seemed to relax a smidge at that, and he let her sit and silently process.
"So," she began slowly. "I'm really me, but my name is Olivia. And I never have to go back to Mother and Father." She turned her chin up to check for his approval and he gave her a nod.
"That's right, you won't have to see them again." At that a smile seemed to blossom on her face although it wilted quickly.
"But then...who do I belong to?" She looked so forlorn that he tugged her a little closer.
"Your real parents have been missing you for a long time, but you don't belong to anyone, okay? You belong to yourself. Remember that." The poor child was probably too young to really understand what he was saying, but with luck it would stick and perhaps provide her some value later in life. God knows it was a lesson that took him a long time to learn.
"Okay," she finally said. As she leaned against him, he hugged her tightly with one arm then with the abruptness of a child she pulled away. "Can I still watch the end of the movie?"
Sam had to laugh. "Of course, but don't start without Jack. I'll go find him, okay?" She scrambled off the bed and began twirling again, humming the refrain from 'Let it Go'. Sam watched her fondly for a minute, regret and affection warring for supremacy in his heart. Leaving, he headed in search of the teenager.
Before he reached the kitchen, he rounded a corner, meeting Rowena in the hallway.
"There you are Samuel. Get your brother and meet me in your room," she ordered before sweeping down the corridor as regal as a queen. Puzzled, Sam did as he was told. Entering the kitchen, he found both Jack and Dean. Even though they'd eaten lunch recently, Jack's appetite was much larger than usual as he recovered. So, he wasn't surprised to see his brother putting a hearty looking sandwich in front of the nephilim.
"Hey Sam, want a sandwich too?" Dean always looked so content when he was puttering around in the kitchen. Making food for people was one of the ways he demonstrated his affection and Sam found it very endearing - not that he'd ever tell Dean that. As tempting as the sandwich looked, Sam was hungrier for Rowena's news.
"No thanks. Jack, Leah is ready to restart the movie." Jack had just taken a huge bite of the sandwich, so his response was lost among his chewing, but he picked up his plate, tucking his glass of milk into the crook of his arm.
"Wait," called Dean who handed him another plate. Then he wedged a juice box beside the milk. "Bring her this," he commanded, "and be careful." Jack cautiously left the kitchen, juggling his burdens. The lack of crashing or splashing noises let Sam know the boy had made it back to his room safely. "You sure?" Dean asked again, pausing to hold up the bread before he put it in the cupboard. Sam shook his head.
"Uh, Rowena wants to see us." He tried to keep his voice level, but there was a thrill of nervous excitement running through him. Hopefully, the redhead had found a way to put him back into his body. Dean shot him a glance.
"She's got something?" he asked. Sam could only shrug, but Dean quickly stowed the last of the food. "Lead the way."
xxxxxx
Sammy was nervous, he kept scrubbing his hands on his thighs, but Dean wasn't nervous, he was impatient. He wanted to sprint to Sam's room, but instead he slowed his pace to let Sam with his shorter legs keep up. The door was ajar, so they didn't bother to knock and he followed Sam in.
He hadn't been here since the other day. Seeing his brother's dead body sprawled on the bed was like getting gut punched, so he had avoided visiting. Rowena closed the door behind them, driving the room into partial darkness. She touched her fingertips to the wall beside the sink and murmured a few words. With a surge of magic that raised the hair on his arms, the walls began to glow, creating a grid of light that looked like a cage of symbols.
"Wha-" he started but Rowena cut him off.
"Calm yourself. It's just to be sure we can talk privately. Feathers here tells me that you have a reaper keeping tabs on you." She gestured at Cas, who was sitting, one hip on the side of the desk, back against the now glowing wall. Arms crossed and forehead wrinkled, Cas looked as serious as cancer, and he didn't respond to Rowena's little barb. Rowena settled on the desk chair, leaving the side of the bed that didn't contain Sam's corpse as the only other place to sit. Gingerly, Sam perched on the edge of the mattress, but Dean leaned against the sink by the door, reaching behind him to grip the porcelain rim.
"So, have you come up with a way to get me back into my body?" Sam looked so damn hopeful that it made Dean's heart ache for him.
"Actually, we have four options to discuss with you, but they are not without...certain risks." Rowena sounded reasonable, but Cas scoffed, markedly unhappy. Dean just wanted to cut to the chase. This was Sam they were talking about; he wasn't prepared to put his brother at risk in any way if he could help it, but ultimately it was Sam's decision.
"What's the least risky of the options?" Dean directed his question at Cas, not Rowena in the hopes of getting an honest answer. Cas frowned.
"The option with the least risk is for Sam to remain in the body he currently occupies. He would have to wait for his body to catch up to his actual age again, but his life and his soul would not be in danger." Before Cas was even finishing speaking, Sammy was shaking his head and Dean tended to agree with him. He certainly wouldn't want to pretend to be a kid and have to wait years to drive, drink, or have sex again.
"No," Sam declared. "Unless there is absolutely no other choice, I want to be me again." Rowena graced him with a small smile.
"Well, the second choice would be to animate your body. Then there is a simple incantation that will draw your soul out of the boy. Normally this spell is used for one person to carry the soul of another."
"Like Sam did when he got Bobby's soul out of hell?" She gave Dean a sour look at his interruption.
"Somewhat, except because Sam's soul belongs in his body, his two parts should simply join together naturally." She shrugged lightly as if what she had proposed was dealing with dinner plans and not his brother's very essence.
"The problem is, 'that' Sam," said Cas as he pointed to the figure on the bed "would be soulless until he absorbs the soul. And he would have to voluntarily perform the spell."
"That sounds fairly do-able." Dean began, but his brother jumped to his feet and began to pace the small space.
"No Dean," Sam said firmly, cutting him off.
"C'mon Sam, at least consider it."
But Sam spun towards him. "No! Absolutely not. That version of me is a complete psychopath. I let you get turned into a vampire; I was seconds away from killing Bobby. No, it's a horrible idea. Besides, there is no way that guy would willingly take back our soul. You had to restrain me in Bobby's panic room the first time. And iIf soulless me escaped somehow or hurt someone…" Sam was wide-eyed with fear. "It's too dangerous. I'm too dangerous!" The kid was almost in a panic, although he did have a valid point. If RoboSam refused to play ball, he was too smart, resourceful and lethal to control.
"Okay Sam. Okay." Dean stood placatingly, hands out in submission. "We'll pass on this for now." Sam ran his hands through his hair and stopped pacing, although Dean could still see the tension thrumming through the boy's body.
"What's the next idea?" Sam asked, back turned towards Dean. Rowena, who had been watching Sam's outburst with interest, answered him.
"We summon Death and ask her to restore Sam's soul. The problem is that in order to summon death…"
"Someone has to die," Dean finished for her. "Well, I've done it before." It wasn't a fun experience, either time, but if it meant getting Billie's attention, he'd take the hit.
"Yeah, and you almost gave me a heart attack." Sam spun on him, anger swiftly replacing fear on his narrow face. At the same time Cas spoke up with disapproval.
"Dean, not only is that a terrible risk, but why would she help us?" Cas also stood as if to stop him.
"Look, I don't know. But she told me that Sam and I have important work to do, so I figure she doesn't want me permanently dead." He wasn't an idiot; he knew that Billie wasn't the most reliable of allies.
"But last time you had information she wanted," Sam countered.
Rowena arched a carefully sculpted eyebrow in Dean's direction before adding her two cents. "She certainly seemed willing to let me kill Sam, not that long ago. She told me that she doesn't 'do blackmail,' so, despite her recent actions, Death seems... inconsistent at best."
"Rowena, you could bind Death, couldn't you?" Cas asked, his question cutting through the growing tension.
"Aye, but I can't force her to replace Sam's soul, and the magic wouldn't bind her for long. Plus, when she broke the bonds - and she would break them, I don't think she'd take too kindly to having been shackled. I don't think we want Death angry at any of us." Rowena gave a delicate shudder at that.
"Fine," Dean capitulated. "So, we find someone else. They can use my kit to die temporarily and…"
"I'm not letting anyone else die for me!" Sam shouted vehemently, startling them all back to silence. He stood there, chest heaving as he fought to calm down, but it was Dean's turn to get a little heated.
"C'mon Sam! Unless you want to start fifth grade at Lebanon Elementary, we're running out of options." Sam was glaring up at him and he looked ready to take a swing, not that he could do any damage at his current size.
"There is one more potential solution," Rowena reminded them.
Dean took a breath and ignored Sam for now. "What," he snapped. The witch narrowed her eyes at him.
"Don't take that tone with me, Dean Winchester! I have been working my fingers to the bone for days, maintaining the spell that's keeping your brother from rotting, and forgoing my comfortable apartment to bunk with a corpse." Dean sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, she was right, they owed her. Much to his surprise, Rowena really was turning into a valuable ally and seemed to be sincere in her pursuit of redemption. Not that he trusted her completely, but beggars couldn't be choosers and it looked like she was Sam's only shot.
"Sorry," he apologized in a more neutral tone of voice.
"I'm sorry too Rowena," Sam offered. "I know how tired you must be, and I really do appreciate everything that you've done for us." The kid practically oozed sincerity and it seemed to mollify the witch somewhat.
"Yes, well." She capitulated, smoothing the sleeves of her sweater as she composed herself. "I might have one last way to get you back to your old self." Dean forced himself to remain patient as she dramatically waited until all eyes were on her.
"Castiel dear, what would happen if Sam's soul was to leave the body he is in right now without being tethered to another?" As prim as a schoolmarm giving a lecture, she plainly was going to revel in their attention.
"A reaper would escort his soul to the afterlife," Cas rumbled obediently.
"And if Sam refused to go with the reaper?" Rowena continued.
"I would become a ghost, and eventually a vengeful spirit," Sam said hollowly.
"Aye, so we all agree that we need to anchor your soul to a body so that neither of those things happen. You have ruled out having the big version of Sam claim his own soul." She waved at Sam's prone form on the bed. "So, the next best scenario is to transfer it to another person."
"Wait, how would that help? Moving Sam's soul to another stiff doesn't get him back into his own body." Dean wasn't following. Rowena rolled her eyes at him and scoffed.
"Not into another corpse, you numpty. His soul would have to go into a living host, one that will work the magic."
"Wait, a human being isn't designed to hold more than one soul. The effects could be catastrophic." That was quite the ice water that Cas threw on that idea. Dean half expected Rowena to deflate or get angry again, but instead she eyed him strangely.
"Normally yes, but what if a soul was housed with its soulmate?" she asked archly. If that was her big 'ta-da' then it fell rather flat. Dean scowled, feeling his face flush at that word. Sure, he and Sam were close, but the term soulmate made him uncomfortable. It sounded ridiculous, like something out of a cheesy romance novel. Or worse, something creepy and perverted like some of that crap that fans of Chuck's stupid books wrote. When he dared look up, he could see Sam's big brain working and Cas had that constipated look he sometimes got when he was thinking.
"C'mon, guys you can't be serious? Cas, didn't you just say that it was a really bad idea?" Dean appealed to the angel.
"Yes, with two unconnected souls, they would most likely explode, killing the host, damaging the souls and probably destroying an area the size of a city block. But...soulmates are bonded pairs. They were created as two halves of the same whole. It might be possible for them to share a vessel for a short time." Feeling very exposed, Dean wrapped one arm across himself as Rowena took Cas' words as encouragement.
"I understand from our angelic friend here, that you and Sam are soulmates. So, we transfer Sam's soul into you, Dean. I have created a spell that would allow you to, uh, deposit your brother into his body while he is still in stasis. When he wakes up, he would be himself again." Crossing her legs and folding her hands into her lap, she leaned back in Sam's chair. "It's up to you of course."
"What would be the risks to Dean?" It made his heart swell for a second that Sam was worried about him, but he wasn't the one with puberty to look forward to. This sounded like a good option.
"Sam, I carried Benny out of Purgatory in my arm, I can schlep you around for a couple of hours." He tried to reassure his brother.
"Except it wouldn't work that way. If I comprehend what Rowena is suggesting, Sam would be tethered not to your flesh and bone, but to your actual soul. That would be much more dangerous." Cas seemed more agitated as he talked, the frown on his forehead deepening.
"Dangerous how?" Dean was more than willing to put his life on the line for Sam, but he wanted to know what he was signing up for and the threat to Sam's soul.
"Well, it's never been done before that I'm aware of, so I don't know exactly." Cas ran his fingers through his hair.
"Fine, best guess?" pushed Sam. Cas wiped a hand down his face and stopped pacing to look directly at Dean.
"Assuming that your souls don't collide and immediately explode, then the greatest risk is that you lose yourself." He shifted to include Sam. "You both could. Your souls could merge together and neither of you would be individuals anymore, regardless of what body you inhabited." The room fell silent again as everyone considered this, but all the thinking in the world wasn't going to make a decision.
Dean straightened, caught Sam's eye and shrugged. "I'm game if you are," he said. He would do almost anything to save his brother, but ultimately it had to be Sam's choice. Too often in the past he hadn't respected Sam's right to choose for himself. He'd learned that lesson the hard way. Sam stared back at him as if gauging something profound, so Dean let his eyes say everything he was thinking. Sam rubbed a hand across his mouth.
"Are you sure?" he asked. Dean gave him a single nod and a smile. If that's what Sam wanted, he would make it happen, or die trying.
"Alright, it seems like we have a plan." Rowena clapped her hands together lightly, breaking the intense moment. "I need to finish some details, then I think we should move this little experiment to some place safer. If it goes awry and Dean goes boom, I'm sure you'd like your mother and friends to survive." The redhead was far too gleeful describing his possible death, but Dean let it slide. She was right.
"There's an abandoned barn about 10 minutes away. Would that do?" Dean asked.
"That sounds grimy, but adequate," she sniffed. "Now you two go say your farewells while I complete my preparations. I need Castiel here to assist me with a few things, then I'll fetch you when I'm ready." Decision made, she ordered them out with an imperious wave of her hand. Dean was going to say something, but Sam tugged on his sleeve, so he closed his mouth and followed the boy out of the room.