April rolls around before we know it, and there one month left of school. I spend my time alternating between my friend's apartments. I occasionally return to my apartment to shower and swap out my clothing, but I make sure to do it when I know the boys are out.

Rye and Madge have made up, so I tend to leave her apartment whenever he comes over. Despite our talk, I don't feel comfortable around him. Madge might have been able to forgive him, but I can't. He told me there were no feelings left for me, and I had foolishly believed him. Then, I had cost him his relationship with his brother, something I was jealous he had at all.

Madge and Annie tell me that the brawling brothers have made up, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to reconcile my place in their lives. I was a nuisance. A rat that has taken over the apartment and spread disease.

I was not a girl on fire. I was ashes from a candle.

Rye calls and texts, but I don't answer or respond. He tried to corner me outside of a class one day, but I left through a different door. I was doing what I did best: running.

I blocked Peeta's number as soon as I left the apartment. I had turned my phone off on the silent bus ride to clear my mind, and it was the best idea I ever had. I had missed calls, unopened texts, and a million voicemails from our friend group... but none from Peeta. That was all the confirmation I needed to rid him of my life. I may have wanted him, but he didn't want me.

The first week of May doesn't bring flowers. Instead, it brings stress in the form of finals week. I didn't need to ace my classes. I started my job in the middle of June, so I had everything I needed to sail through the week and into graduation. Nevertheless, I studied until my brain wanted to fall out.

This week, I was staying at Joanna's. The one bedroom apartment was tiny, but I stayed on the couch in the living room. We made do. As always, the first couple of days are fun. Then, we start to annoy each other, and I know it's time to go back to Madge and Annie's.

It was Friday. All finals were over, and graduation was tomorrow. We should be happy. We should be celebrating our big accomplishment, but dark clouds hung over both of us. Joanna's was because she thought she failed a final and possible the class. Mine was because of get together that Joanna kept hounding me with.

The group wanted to celebrate. I had done an excellent job at avoiding hanging out with the entire group because I didn't want to see any of the boys. Finnick would try to sweet talk me out of my bitterness. Rye would beg me to come back to the apartment, and Peeta would take one look at me and know that I was hurting. If he did anything to fix that, that would be an interesting plot twist.

I only went to girls' nights, and I would go out to tonight if it was a girls' night... but Madge wanted to let Rye celebrate too since he was also graduating.

I didn't want to go. I told Joanna no all week. Today, she was at her wits end with me, and I could tell. "Go have fun, Jo. Seriously, I don't care, and I don't want to go," I told her in an exasperated voice. She was getting really annoying.

"We only graduate once, Katniss!" She pleaded and hissed at the same time. "I've watched you mope over Peeta for months. It's time to suck it up and get the hell over it!"

I glared at her. "Suck it up?" I hissed back. "I had sex with him, and he didn't ever give a fuck about me!"

She crossed her arms and gave me a pointed look. "You halfway had sex with him, Miss Purity."

"You bitch!"

"You skanky idiot!" She replied back with equal vengeance. "If you would have kept it in your pants, then we wouldn't be in this mess. You wouldn't have fucked yo everyone's lives. I'm so tired of walking on eggshells around you."

Tears stung in my eyes, and I felt stupid because I wanted to cry. Her words stung me like a deadly bee. "Fine," I said in the iciest voice I could manage. "Then stop walking on eggshells." I got up from my seat on the couch and gather my things for tomorrow's ceremony.

"And where do you think you're going?" She asked when I started towards the door.

With my hand on the doorknob, I looked over my shoulder at her. As dramatically as I could, I told her, "Anywhere but here," and slammed the door as hard as I could.

I waited in my car for an hour in the parking lot of my favorite cafe. I did all of my crying there and allowed myself the time to feel vulnerable. It's something that I don't rarely do. If my sister was still here, I'd do anything for her. I just know that we would have grown to be best friends. I wouldn't let some stupid boy come between us, and I don't expect Peeta to do the same.

I could sleep in my car, but getting ready for graduation in it doesn't seem possible. The thought of skipping crosses my mind, but I can't let my friends dictate my life. I was going to walk across that stage for me... and no one else.

There's a hotel a few blocks away from Joanna's. I check in and collapse on the plush bed. I need a good night's sleep after the last few months I've had. Ever since Peeta Mellark came into my life, I feel like everything has been turned upside down.

I needed to make it though the weekend. Then, my new summer housing would kick in. I don't leave for the internship until the end of summer, so I submitted a room request. My scholarship either covered the costs, or the administration took pity on me for their previous mistake. Either way, I had a room for the next two months, and I told no one about it. I'm suddenly grateful for that decision.

Sleep is hard to come by, but it usually is for me. Nightmares plague me. I trip and fall at the ceremony and become a bloody mess. A trip to the ER is needed. Everyone laughs, and I die of embarrassment.

My friends find me and gang up on me. They corner me and spit hateful things at me. Some are true. They call me a coward, a liar, and a home wrecker. Some are not true, but it hurts no less.

I toss and turn all night until my alarm finally goes off. I pull myself into a shower to try and feel again. This is a milestone day, a happy one. But I am alone with no one to celebrate with, and it's no one's fault by my own.

I dry my hair in a daze. This is a rare occasion where I curl it on my own. I try my best to recreate a make up look, but I could really use my friends right now. I fight back tears and give up. I slip on my black dress and red heels. I grab my gown, stole, and cap. With a deep breathe, I leave the safety of my hotel room.

I can do this.

I have never been more thankful for my last name. Everdeen wasn't near any of my friend's last names, so I didn't have to stand in line next to any of them. I did know the girl standing before me though. We had some genera education classes together when we first started school here, and she agreed to take some pictures of my in my cap in gown. I wanted to remember this day.

I didn't have a plan. I didn't know what I would do if one of my friends hunted me down before the ceremony started. I could only pray that they didn't, and then I could race out of here when it was all over.

And I was right. The line was watched over by an administrator dressed in an all red pantsuit with matching red lipstick. Her icy white hair was up in what can only be described as a beehive. She ruled over the processional like we were a prison line up.

When the ceremony ended, I headed straight to my car... well, as fast as my heels would take me. I knew I should've bought the shorter pair, but Johanna convinced me that these red pumps matched my white dress better. I had almost made it to the parking lot when a hand grabbed my elbow. The owner spun me around until I was face to face with Rye Mellark.

There was a hurt expression on his face. "You were really going to run off?"

I roll my eyes at his dramatics. "Johanna and I got into a fight," I say trying to shake off the guilt I feel.

"She told me," he huffs. "But you were really going to abandon us on graduation day?"

"I have to go," I lie through my teeth. I need out of here. "I start my job on Monday. I have to move."

Rye's expression falls even more, if it was at all possible. "Katniss, don't leave like this." He's pleading.

I have him a small smile that I am sure doesn't reach my eyes. "How else am I supposed to leave it?" My voice is quiet and small. That's how I feel at this moment. What did he want? A grand speech and theatrics? Sobbing and mascara trails? Personal, handwritten notes to every single one of them?

"Not like this. Don't run."

My eyes shifted from him to the small group gathering behind him. Johanna was taking Annie and Finnick's pictures with the stadium while Madge greeted her parents with a hug. I knew that I only had moments before a different Mellark found me.

I can't see him again. I know it. I've told myself it too many times. I am done begging Peeta to love me. It's time to move on.

And it's time to get the hell away from this stadium.

"I'm sorry, Rye," I say one more time and lean in to hug him.

Rye naturally hugs me back. He doesn't squeeze too hard or linger too long, and I know that I was right when I told Madge that he didn't have feelings for me anymore. He tells me, "Peeta will be here any second."

I give him that small smile again. I can't help the awkward laugh that escapes me when I say, "That's my cue to go then."

"Only if you want it to be," Rye replies, wise beyond his years. Something in a white button up catches my attention in the sea of black gowns. Eyes body is shielding me from his line of sight, and I know that when I go, it'll be for real this time.

"Thanks for everything, Rye."

"Bye, Katniss."

I turn and make my way to my car. I'm parked several of rows back, but it doesn't kill the vibe at all. Tears stream down my face as I know that I've cut one of the last strings that tied me to this place. My friends are gone. They won't forgive me.

But I won't forgive myself.

"Katniss!" I hear from behind me. His voice makes my feet pick up the pace despite the pain from the heels. I've just made it to my car when I see his reflection behind me. I try to open the door, but he stops me. "Katniss."

"What do you want?" I ask. My voice is low and full of vengeance.

"To talk," he says in a voice that would have once made me melt.

"The time for talking is over, Peeta," I tell him and try to open my car door again.

He stops it with ease. "Please. Talk to me. I want to explain everything."

"It's fine, Peeta. I don't care."

"Katniss, I am so sorry. For everything. Please, just give me another chance."

I turn to face him with fire in my chest, a burning in my throat, and tears in my eyes. "I have waited months to hear you apologize. A phone call. Fuck, even a text. But I got nothing."

"But I did call and text-"

"It most have been after I finally blocked your number. Fuck you, Peeta Mellark." I spit unable to contain my rage any longer. I'm angry, and I can't hold it back any longer. I've tried to do what was right and be mature, but I'm done now. I light the match to my final bridge.

"Katniss-"

"No! I'm leaving, and I'm never coming back to this hellhole or you. You ruined us."

As I drive away, I watch the bridge burn.