Nancy doesn't notice it, not at first. She's just so happy and relieved to have Ned home, alive and home, she doesn't see the way he holds her at arm's length. The way he holds everyone at arm's length as if he's afraid of what may happen if he allows them to be close.

The realization of how changed he is, how changed their relationship is, takes a while to sink in for her. She's working a case and there's some danger involved because of course there is. Because it's a smuggling ring dealing in rare and exotic animals, most of which are on the endangered species list, and obviously people in a cutthroat business are going to be cutthroat with an amateur detective trying to expose them. Nancy's under no illusions as to what could happen if she gets caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And Ned, gorgeous Ned, jumps right in. He goes with her on every foray into River Heights' criminal underworld, just as he always has. Only, there's something different, something darker, more razor-sharp to his movements. The way he insists on always going in first to a room or warehouse, the way he scopes it out before allowing her to enter, the way he keeps a switchblade in his pocket and a hunting knife in his boot.

The way he always insists on having his back to the wall and a full view of the room.

The way he'd panicked and pushed her into an alley and held her close, covering her body with his when he heard a car backfiring the other day. It had taken ten minutes for him to completely calm down, his body tense, his eyes wary, fingers twitching near the pocket holding his knife.

It breaks her heart to see him like this.

It should have been a warning sign, the way he'd acted on the case, but she is still unprepared for the change when there is no case. When there isn't any reason for him to worry that she might be abducted by smugglers or killed by gangs. Nancy isn't in any danger and Ned…Ned acts as though he has completed a mission and must therefore be exempt from any further interaction with Nancy or the rest of the gang.

She tries to get him to come to the bar they all hang out at, the one George and Joe play at. He turns her down every time, claiming exhaustion, prior obligations, homework even. George invites him to the campus party at Billy's place, Bess invites him to the Labor Day cookout at her parents', Frank even invites him to get breakfast with them, but he turns down each and every invitation with a wry, apologetic smile and a downward glance.

It hurts and she doesn't know what hurts the most, the fact that he won't let her help him or the fact that she doesn't know how to help him anyway.

"You okay?"

Nancy startles at the sound of Frank's voice over her shoulder, a shiver runs down her spine at the feel of his breath near her ear. Frank is an anomaly she hadn't expected, his presence both soothing and shocking in its vibrancy. Before she'd met Frank, she'd known where her heart stood, she loved Ned and Ned loved her. Now… she feels torn and greedy, wanting both of them and incapable of choosing only one. Of course, she may not have to choose, what with Ned seeming to no longer want her now that he's back from his government-sponsored trip abroad.

She sighs and glances back at him before returning her gaze to the bookshelf in front of her. "I'm fine."

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Frank raise an eyebrow and purse his lips. He's not going to let it go. After minutes of silence, she gives in.

"I think Ned wants to break up, but he wants me to say it," She says morosely. "He keeps pushing me away and I wasn't sure at first, but I think that I might be lying to myself when I think that we can get through this."

The look on Frank's face is almost constipated, he's so obviously uncomfortable with the turn the conversation has taken but doesn't want to say anything because he's Frank and he's there for her when she needs him, no matter what.

"My Grandfather fought in the first world war, my Dad said…" Frank sighs and rubs his hand across his face. "War changes people, Nance. It's not pretty. You need to give him time." He turns and gives her a sympathetic smile, "I don't think he's trying to leave you, I think he's trying to protect you from the person he's become."

Nancy knows this, deep down she's known all along that Ned still loves her and that everything wrong between them now is a direct product of his time in fucking Nam. She wishes it wasn't because this…this is something she can't fix, she can't make it better, she can't solve it and it breaks her heart. She takes a shaky breath in and fuck, she's crying. The tears are gathering in her eyes; she blinks hard to fight them back. Nancy hates crying, hates the way that once she starts she can't stop. She never cries.

"I know," She says, her voice cracking as a single tear slips gently down her cheek; a warning of the proverbial dam about to break. "I know, I just… he's hurting me, Frank," The tears are coming faster and her breathing is starting to come in gasps. Frank's face looks panicked as he reaches out and pulls her in, rests her head on his shoulder, and wraps his arms around her, shushing her softly.

"I love him so much; I don't want to lose him," She sobs into Frank's shoulder, "But I think I am."

When she finally calms down and tells Frank that she's okay, he leaves her with a face that looks like thunder.

A few days later, she's re-writing her notes for her sociology exam when there's a tentative knock at her bedroom door. She opens it to find Ned standing there. His eyes are intense, apologetic, and burning.

"That punk friend of yours showed up at my house yesterday," He starts off. "Punched me in the face and then talked some sense into me."

Nancy flushes. Of course Frank did that. She should have known he would. She feels that familiar warmth inside her chest that feels something like love for her friend.

"I love you. Nancy, I love you," Ned's eyes are setting her on fire and stealing her breath away. His voice is rough, emotional. "I don't want to lose you, but I'm not the same man you used to know. I'm different, I've… I've done things, Nancy." He looks away from her as if ashamed. "I've done things and I've seen things and I come home and you are still so… good and hopeful and passionate and I'm afraid that this thing that I've become will snuff out your beautiful, beautiful hope."

She reaches out and cups his cheek in her hand, his eyes flutter close as she whispers, "Ned."

"I know that I've been going about this all wrong. I was just so afraid…" He opens his eyes, reaches his hand up to clasp hers, presses a kiss to the inside of her wrist. "Will you forgive me? Will you, Nancy? I want…I want to start over, try this again."

"Of course." She whispers and feels sunlight break through the clouds inside of her.