The man turns to Alec, a flirtatious smile on his face. "You're looking good." He pulls Alec in for a hard kiss. "Loving the scruff Doctor."
The room is silent. Beth is still staring at the blonde Doctor in awe and confusion, while everyone else watches the interaction between Captain Jack Harkness, a perfect stranger to everyone except Rose and the Doctors, and the grumpy DI Alec Hardy. Rose has seen quite a few mind blowing reactions in her travels when people are confronted with the unknown, and although the man seemed to be taking his interactions with the Doctor in rainbows, and the revelations of aliens in stride, right now Rose can only describe him as looking like his brain has broken. He's not moving, eyes out of focus, trying and failing to come to terms with his second unexpected snog of the day, not to mention who it's from.
It's Ellie who finally breaks the silence with an unsuccessfully suppressed snort of laughter.
"Jack he's not..." Rose starts.
"Me." The pinstriped Doctor comes up beside Rose, an arm thrown over her shoulders. Finished with whatever he was doing in the back with Paul. "Hello Jack." He gives a cheery grin and a wave.
Jack looks between the two men a couple times before giving another flirtatious smile. "Well hello then." Jack still has Alec's face in his hands. "Captain Jack Harkness. And you are?"
"About to arrest you if you don't get your sodding hands off me you wanker." Alec has finally recovered from the shock.
"Don't tempt me with a good time." Jack gives him a wink as he slowly backs away.
Letting out a large breath Rose walks over to the pair of men, her Doctor in pinstripes close on her heels.
"Rosie!" Jack gives her a kiss before turning to the Doctor, who is trying to duck out of the way.
"It's you." The actual Alec Hardy levels his gaze at her, mouth pulled in a tight line.
"Yeah about that." Rose chews on her thumbnail for a moment before continuing. "M'sorry about earlier. Snogging you like that. I thought you were him." She tilts her head in the direction of her pinstriped Doctor who's attention has been drawn away from Jack at the word 'snog'.
"You what?" He's looking between Rose and the detective inspector.
"I thought he was you!"
"How could you think that!" The Doctor looks Alec up and down. "Just look at the hair! It's all…" He waves his hand in the general direction of said hair. "All flat and, and sad, and Rose I am insulted. Insulted I tell you that you would think I would ever, ever go anywhere with my hair looking like that."
"Fuck." It's all Rose can say as she can physically feel the tension growing between the two look a likes.
"Bite ma bawsack ye radge wee shite" Alec is quick to respond, ignoring Rose's exasperation.
Form there, much to Rose's dismay, Olly's confusion, and Jack's entertainment, it devolves into a jumble of Scottish insults, and alien curse words the TARDIS refuses to translate. Which Rose is glad for, because she's learned a few of them by now and she really would rather not have them add more fuel to the growing fire.
While Alec and the pinstriped Doctor argue Paul finally makes his way back, catching the eye of the other Doctor. "Rory?" The Doctor in rainbows runs up to Paul. "Where's Amy?"
"Ah sorry." Paul holds up his hands in front of himself. "I'm Paul."
"Oh." Paul watches as the blonde woman visibly deflates in front of him. The hope in her eyes diminished as she casts them downwards.
"I look like someone you know?" With the multiple cases of mistaken identity that had happened today he wasn't overly surprised that he might be another.
"Knew. My friends, I had these friends and well…" The Doctor in Rainbows folds in on herself, clearly distraught.
"I'm not your friend that you lost, but would you maybe like a hug." Paul opens his arms in offering. She certainly looked like she could use one anyway, and if he could offer comfort he would. Part of the job description really.
"Yeah." The Doctor in rainbows gives him a smile, eyes shining with unshed tears. "Yeah I think I would."
"Well come on then." Not needing any further prompting she quickly pulls Paul into a tight hug. He can feel her relax slightly after a bit.
"She looks like me." Beth has come over to stare at the Doctor in rainbows. "How is that possible?"
"Oh you know." The Doctor in rainbows breaks away from Paul to give Beth a grin. "Probably just a case of spatial genetic multiplicity."
"What?" Ellie has taken a spot at Beth's side, looking between the two nearly identical women.
"Spatial genetic multiplicity. Spend enough time near the rift in Cardiff and it takes your image and shoots it out in different times and places." She shrugs as though it's common knowledge. "Hi, by the way. I'm the Doctor." She takes Beth's hand and shakes it. "S'like looking in a mirror. Brilliant!"
Rose has just about had enough of the string of insults flowing from the detective and the Doctor in pinstripes, but before she can say anything Jack cuts in. "Y'know Rose, with all this tension, I bet if you play your cards right you could have yourself a very interesting little threesome here."
That gets Alec's attention. "What?" Even with everything he's been through today he can't possibly have heard what he thinks he's just heard.
"Or a foursome." Jack winks at him. "I certainly have a few tricks to spice things up if you're game."
"Yer bum's oot the windae ye fuckin' bampot."
"Jack!" Rose lets out a groan. Normally she loves his flirting and innuendo, but the Detective Inspector is obviously not amused by him.
"Absolutely not!" The pinstriped Doctor pulls Rose into his side, glaring at both Jack and Hardy. "Our sex life is fine as it is. Brilliant even. Absolutely spectacular." Rose lets out another groan, burying her face in his chest in embarrassment. "And we don't need either of you in it." He looks down at the top of Rose's head. "Right Rose? Tell em we don't need any extra spice. We're plenty spicy enough as is"
"Doctor." Rose groans again before finally looking up at the other men around them. "Thanks for the offer Jack, but I think we're good."
It's at that point Olly brings attention to himself by mumbling a bit as he quickly types into his phone.
"And what do you think you're doing?" Olly looks up into the cold glare of Alec Hardy.
"Well, doppelgangers, aliens, it's a good story." Olly would come to regret those words as the Doctor in pinstripes pulls out his sonic screwdriver and points it at the phone. Within seconds it's gone blank and sparks are flying from it. "Hey!" Olly drops the overheated device on the ground. "What the hell did you do?"
"Overloaded the motherboard, and fried all the capacitors." The pinstriped Doctor slips his sonic back in his suit pocket. "Also wiped out any cloud storage you were updating to."
"You, you can't just do that!" Olly in livid now.
"Can and did." The pinstriped Doctor gives him a wide grin.
"There are aliens in Broadchurch. The people have a right to know!" Olly is adamant.
"I had a feeling you were going to be a problem." Jack throws an arm around Olly's shoulder. "And here's me without any ret-con. Doc?" Jack quirks an eyebrow at the Doctor in pinstripes.
"Oh alright." He isn't happy about having to let go of Rose, but if needs must.
All Olly can manage is a simple 'what', before the pinstriped Doctor touches his fingers to his temples and he passes out in Jack's arm.
"What did you just do?" Alec Hardy might not like the little shite, but he was still the Detective Inspector and Olly was one of the citizens he was sworn to protect.
"Just erased the last couple hours of his memory. No harm done."
The Doctor in rainbows comes up next to the Doctor in pinstripes, giving him an affectionate hair ruffle. "Already did the work for me. I really need to bring you along more often. My handy spare hand. Imagine all the things we could get done!"
Rose clears her throat, drawing the attention of the two Doctors.
"And Rose of course-" The Doctor in Rainbows begins.
"Rose brilliant as ever -" The Doctor in Pinstripes says at the same time
"Rose found and apprehended the alien single handedly didn't she." Jack's back to watching the interactions with amusement after setting Olly down on a pew.
"Well…" The pinstriped Doctor drawls out
"It was a-" The Doctor in Rainbows begins to add.
"Good Job Rosie. Knew you had it in you." Jack is beaming in pride at Rose.
"Thanks Jack." She offers up her tongue touched grin to one of her best friends. "Speaking of. What were they Doctor?"
"Nostravites." The Doctor in pinstripes happily supplies.
"I haven't seen any of those in ages." Adds the Doctor in Rainbows
"Actually ran into a couple a few years back myself." Jack crosses his arms in front of him. "Did they lay their eggs in anyone?"
"Nope!" The Doctor in pinstripes answers. "The male hadn't had a chance yet. Rose got here just in the nick of time."
"Right then." The Doctor in Rainbows claps her hands together. "Go get the TARDIS, grab the Nostravites, then onto the next adventure."
"If we set the coordinates right, and with two time lords we've got a pretty great chance, we should just be able to make it to the premier of Jurassic Planet 10." The Doctor in pinstripes enthuses.
"Hold on." Hardy interrupts as the group begins to leave. "You can't just leave."
"Not with everything you've just put us through." Ellie adds in.
"Right." The Doctor in Rainbows hangs back. "Here's to make up for all the trouble." She places her sonic right over Alec's pacemaker, engaging if for a few seconds before tucking it away again. "All done!"
Alec violently jerks away from her "What did you just do?"
"Oh just a bit of an upgrade." She smiles brightly at him before running off to catch up with her companions.
"What do you mean an upgrade?" His hands are splayed over his chest, as though somehow he could figure out what she had done through touch alone. "What upgrade?" After a moment he looks up to see her already several yards away from him.
"Jurassic Planet 10. I heard the T-Rex they cast for the main roll was a real diva." Jack laughs as he follows his friends out of the church.
"Doctor! What upgrade!?" Hardy yells after them.