Vertigo and Vices

by CosmicMoonMystic

A 22 year old Ichigo is lost and seeking comfort in physical ways, but is shown he can find comfort emotionally, too, after living with having been Aizen and Ichimaru's prisoner for a year during the war. Varies slightly from original manga storyline for creative purposes, post winter war. MxM, angst, possible triggers/sensitive subjects. Initial Grimmjow x Ichigo, then Ichigo x Iz

5. Chapter V - A Subtle Sweetness of Black

Notes: I realized another mistake, Hallow instead of Hollow. Chapters will start having their own warnings in them so that future chapters are not spoiled early on.

WARNINGS: Mild sex and BDSM references. There are mentions of rape as well.

Chapter V

A Subtle Sweetness of Black Honey

"Morning, Kisuke! How was Hueco Mundo?" The use of his first name without any honorifics caught the older man off guard. He had been brewing his morning coffee snacking on the delicious sweet daifuku that Ururu made before heading over to the twin's with Jinta for Isshin's morning carpool and did not realize Ichigo had come in the back way. He turned to see the young redhead in the most chipper of moods as he popped into the fridge. Someone got a good lay in last night. Ichigo stood as he rubbed at the back of his neck in thought, and Kisuke saw a deep punctured and well-defined bite mark there. Someone had an extremely good lay last night. Kurosaki looked around for a moment, looking unsure, before bending to explore further. Ki could hear things being moved about. He would have to rearrange it back so Ururu would not be upset. Kisuke picked up the plate in front of him to offer to the young man.

"Tiring. There's fresh daifuku, if you'd like that?"

"Oh, um, no thanks." Ichigo looked over the door at the assorted colors of the sweets Urahara was offering on a cute platter. He smiled to himself and shook his head before looking back in the fridge.

"Are you sure?" Kisuke heard the maker finishing its brew of coffee and turned to put the platter down and retrieve his mug. Ichigo made a sudden sound that made it appear he had found what he was looking for before he ducked past the door where Kisuke could not see. He reappeared and shut the door, holding a peach.

"Yea! Definitely. But thanks for the offer. I'm, uh, trying to keep it light until lunch." That was… unusual for the youth. Urahara nodded before lifting the pot.

"Coffee?" Ichigo paused in taking the first bite out of his breakfast.

"Yea, but just black." He seemed to be questioning his own response.

"Black?" The one-time Urahara had served him coffee black the youth had left it until it went cold and ended up dumping it down the drain.

"Mm… Okay, a little bit of sugar. But not too much." He was becoming embarrassed if the peach blush was any indicator. Urahara was enjoying this a lot and was a master at having a poker face. His usual smile the perfect cover to his sadistic side. He always enjoyed it when he made the boy squirm. Ichigo looked to him sheepishly. "I want to start watching all the sugar and carbs I'm intaking, you know?"

"So, about 1/4th Shinji's sugar pour?" Urahara leered lightly.

"Geez, no, like 2% of Hirako's sugar pour. I said light, not heavy." Urahara laughed at that response. It was refreshing to have the young man taking a healthy approach to the morning. It must be a certain fit Fukutaichou's influence. He poured his student a piping cup and added a spoonful of sugar to the mug from the glass canister before plopping in the spoon and mixing it. He handed it over to Ichigo and he said his thanks as he grabbed it. "Anything happening today?"

"Classes, for the most part. On the days you have classes Tessai does the main bulk of house shopping and his own personal errands while I do questionable experiments in my basement. Usually, Kitten visits while everyone is out those days as well if I'm being honest with you. It's never planned on, but always consistent." He gave a lewd grin to the boy and Ichigo laughed.

"Okay, make myself scarce. Got you." Wait, his classes were canceled? Urahara leaned against the counter, crossing his arms.

"Have your classes been canceled for the day?" He was studying the youth. He shifted his weight, but it was not with a heavy roll, just a light nervous shift.

"No, they're happening. I e-mailed my professors and took the day off." He inhaled the aroma of the contents of his white mug before he took a large bite out of the peach.

"Too sore, hmm? I have ointments and salves for that sort of thing. Shinji usually needs them when we're done." Ichigo swallowed the peach and then laughed a hearty laugh. He really liked when it was the three of them. Ichigo enjoyed their perversions, and they would always have fun when out and about. The laughter died to a soft smile. He looked to his mentor; his face was one of content.

"Too excited and wanting to just live in the moment for once. I want to just exist, Kisuke." Damn, that felt too deep and honest for the shopkeeper to follow up with anything good. Ichigo sipped his hot coffee gingerly. He guessed there was a reason Kisuke had not reached for his yet. He took to blowing on it before talking again. "I was thinking we could grill some yakitori chicken on Saturday. I… I invited Izuru over for dinner and thought maybe we could invite my sisters over to meet him, as my boyfriend. A small little start of the summer cookout."

"You two are speeding along nicely." Kisuke replied absently, not looking to him. Ichigo laughed a little nervously.

"Yea, he was worried about it going so fast at first. But… it feels good, really good, Kisuke." He looked up and met his stare that held confidence. Ah. Urahara had not seen his eyes like that in a long while. "And I think as long as we keep reasonable expectations and keep up with our individual lives then it will work out, right?"

"That is in fact a reasonable approach." Urahara turned to pick up his mug and carefully sipped from it. "Having the girls over sounds delightful, and since it would be the weekend, I'm sure your dad would be fine with them staying over, too. Jinta and Ururu would enjoy that, and it would give your father a little break as well, if he chose to go back home after. Yakitori, hm? Oh, we could make some potato salad for it, cut up some watermelon, that would be a nice summer meal." Something the redhead learned was that Kisuke liked to plan events that were held at his residence. He was always considerate, well stoked and left little for others to worry over. Rukia said once it was because he was controlling, but Ichigo did not feel that. It was nice to have someone else take over planning. He hated when he got stuck in charge of stuff. "So, is he here in our world, or back in Seireitei?"

"At the third getting his paperwork and morning duties taken care as usual. He doesn't seem like the type to blow off work easily. I tried getting him to." Ichigo laughed a bit and lit up at the approval of grilling and having his moon there.

"No, he rarely does take days off if it's not for a mission, or something to do with his writing. There were even a few years after everything where he worked and drank until he passed out, literally. Though, he's made great leaps to be healthier both with his body and drinking. I was rather surprised you three got him to drink so much the other night, according to your father and Tessai." There was a slight change in the air, and he set the mug down to turn and pull another one out. Ichigo stared for a moment in confusion, but then felt the familiar reiatsu. He perked up more if that was even possible. Sometimes, Kisuke wondered if he had not made a move on Hirako first, if Ichigo would be the one with him instead. Though realistically they would not do well together on their own based off the observations Kisuke had made on the two. Urahara poured the coffee to about a third of the cup and filled half of the fourth with sugar and gestured to Ichigo who promptly replied to his beckon.

"Oh, yea, hold on." He set his mug and peach on the opposite counter to sink and got out the milk for Kisuke. He filled the mug the rest of the way as his lover came through the door after having gotten into his gigai.

"Hey, hey, what's this delinquent doing here so late on a school day?" Kisuke stirred the coffee and found he was enjoying this atmosphere. He liked when his kitten and Ichi played well together.

"Whatever, keep it up and I'll stay the whole time." He picked up his coffee and sipped it before Urahara handed him the milk back asking him to put it away. Ichigo made an agreeable sound as he put it back.

"I'm fine with that, kid. We could all go get lunch in a bit. There's this new Italian place that opened up, we saw it last week, right, babe?" He came up and groped Urahara's bottom, and the older man just smiled to him as he turned.

"Yea, you didn't say anything, Cleo." They both turned their attention to Kisuke who was handing the hot liquid to his boyfriend. Kisuke took a sip of his coffee, aware of the stare Ichigo was directing at him.

"I never said you had to leave." He muttered over top of the mug. Hirako came to stand in front of him as he brought up his phone for his lover to see, facing away from Ichigo. There was a picture of a sweaty Kira from the behind with his tops taken off completely for what seemed like parrying class, tribal tattoo glistening, hair tied up with lose strands falling out and long red, deep lines over his upper back. Well, done, Ichigo. Well, done.

"Uh huh. You're right, you didn't verbalize it." Ichigo had his eyes closed while he sunk his teeth into the juicy fruit, unaware of the looks he was getting. Hirako was almost losing his shit, jabbing his lover in his side lightly. Urahara was amused but trying desperately to not allow himself to imagine how those scratches got there. Then he remembered the bite on Ichigo's neck. He groaned. No good, his brain was an evil entity and pictured how Ichigo had his hands on Kira for the scratches to be at the angle they were. How firmly he had to press, and to get such clean lines his Hollow talons must have been out. Had Kira fucked a Hollowfied Ichigo? Did he turn Ichigo over and take him like a cat would, teeth sunk into his nape? He really needed to stop thinking. Now Kisuke's interest was piqued. He would experiment with Shinji later.

"Leave the berry be, Ki. He probably can't think straight after being fucked all night. How was it, by the way? Kira looks fantastic due to whatever happened last night. Those long scratches all over his back? Priceless." Ichigo spit a small bit of his coffee back into the cup at that and coughed a bit as he wiped his mouth. He glared at the laughing older man, who was holding his phone up for him to see what he meant. Ichigo blushed again at the seeing the picture.

"I thought he healed all of those!" He laughed a bit as he took another large bite out of the peach. He was still looking at the photo. It was well taken, and damn, it made pride swell in his chest. That hunk of a man was officially his man.

"Nope, and he must have either thought he did or forgot, because he was representing team 'Ichizu' to our whole division this morning!" Ichigo groaned while taking another bite. He was embarrassed but not nearly as much as he thought he would be. It felt nice knowing others were acknowledging them so smoothly. He wondered who had seen them, and if he knew any of them.

"Did you at least tell him before you came over?" He was trying to hide the smile forming at his lips behind his mug.

"Oh, hell, no! That's too beautiful to have him erase with those Kido skills of his." Hirako grinned madly at the youth's dismay. He knew damn well that Ichigo loved it, seeing his new man with the markings his nails left waltzing all through his division to showcase them. Ichigo looked away and then back at the phone still being held up while sipping the coffee.

"Fuck you. Send me that." Ichigo sat his coffee down and took the last bite before he threw the pit into the trash under the sink and rinsed his sticky hands.

"That a boy!" Hirako patted Ichigo on his back and saw that bite mark peeking out from his collar before he slid his arm around his friend's shoulders with a shared laugh. How kinky of them to even break skin. Ichigo grabbed for the towel and Urahara snagged his boyfriend back, a kiss placed to his neck firmly. That was the first time he ever saw Kisuke display jealousy over Hirako. Shinji half turned and kissed him on the lips while Ichigo put the towel back in its place. Something must have got them going, and so early, too.

"You should have seen all the hickeys he healed for me before coming back this morning. I told him stop after a while because it was taking forever. Would have made your perverted ass gleeful."

"Bullshit." Shinji teased as he took a large drink of his still hot coffee with Urahara behind him kissing his shoulder. The gigai had a white, short-sleeved button down lose over khaki capri slacks with designer tan sandals. Nothing too impressive. Yet he was still adorable as ever. That was another thing Ichigo found out after moving in; Kisuke was loaded. Despite how he dressed normally, he had made a hidden fortune between gambling and stocks. Ichigo looked over to Hirako with a smile and held a finger up to wait a second before rolling his black shirt up to just below his ribs, revealing an unhealed patch of deeply bruised hickeys on his abdomen, just below and to the side of his belly button. There were also some at the edge of his pants, indicating more were just below. Ichigo caressed his lower tummy, if he were honest, he thinks there might be semen still in his track causing some mild discomfort and even swelling, or something, because ever since last night it has felt like his insides were a living thing moving around and twisting. But he would not dare say that to Kira. He knew he would not get to experience being filled again if he did and it was not painful in the least, just a new sensation. He smirked to his friend, as if bragging. Hirako looked over and choked on his own coffee this time. At least he did not spit it out. Hirako and Urahara could see bits of broken skin in between the hickeys. If he were honest seeing those markings was stirring his Hollow. Fuck, Kira really was a biter. Primal much? "Da fuck you two do to each other last night?"

"Oh. Fuck, you have no idea." Ichigo laughed but had his head lolled back daydreaming about the experience. He hummed at the memories and rubbed on his sore stomach below and his piercing caught the light, sparkling for a moment, as he let his shirt fall over his hand. Kisuke was aware that Hirako's eyes followed the hem of the shirt and stared after for second, licking his lips. Urahara was also aware that his lover liked the boy next to them, and it was agreed that if Ichigo ever wanted to join them in their bed it would be allowed.

"No, I don't, but I'm kinda wantin' to know now." He looked up and bit his lip playfully. His eyes were dilated with black edging around the sclera. Urahara would be taking care of his lover well before lunch then.

"Nope." The coy smile left as he turned his attention to Ki, who had his head planted on Shinji's shoulder. Urahara's eyes were closed, considering if he should bend him over the toilet for a quick release again, or properly take him to the bed upstairs. Maybe he would shackle him to the wall and hog tie Ichigo up and make him watch, knowing he would love to watch but feel conflicted about being in a relationship. Maybe he should go up to the boy and bite his throat and grab his ass. Damn, the two perverts got him thinking too much now. He gave his queer, slender man a side long look.

"No?" A questioning look that held a good amount of attitude behind it. He was being a brat today.

"I draw the line at details of their activities. You already have me thinking too much as it is." There was a firmness pressing into his lithe body from behind. Hirako cackled and tried pushing him away.

"Whatever, Ki, you wanna' know, too, 'ya fucking sadist." Sadist? That was new information to Ichigo.

"Oh, yes, I most certainly do. Which is why I must draw the line. I'm already imaging things I shalt not admit aloud. Terrible, awful, and depreciating things. Things I would happily do to you." Kisuke grabbed the now empty mug from his lover. Ichigo looked up to the ceiling, begging the heat to dissipate from his face and ears. He had a boyfriend now. Stop it, dick, just stop.

"Oh? Not even going to tell me?" He let the empty mug be taken and placed near the pot. Ichigo licked his lips at the sultry voice. Maybe he could sext Izuru while he was working? Or better yet tell the blonde to leave early and come ravish him again. His Hollow purred happily at that thought, the need to be filled rising up again.

"Mm, probably, but later when I can actually do them to you." He squeezed his arms around his lover and picked him up, Hirako giggling at being manhandled so. Ichigo laughed at the couple. This was nice. It was nice to feel a normalcy with the couple. They were cute when no one were around and would often tease each other while out on lunch dates with their third wheel, Ichigo. Next time he would ask to bring Izuru, if he could convince him to leave work. Urahara set the slender man down and Hirako swiveled to capture his lips in a tight lock. Ichigo was fairly unphased other than the start of a boner from remembering last night and picked his mug back up and drained the cool substance before he squeezed by the two kissing men to get another. Maybe he should invest in a press or even a café style glass brewer where you hand pour it. It would make the high-grade beans they had bloom with more flavors. His thoughts were interrupted by a firm and painful pinch to his right bottom cheek. He jumped at the sudden physical intrusion almost dropping the glass coffee pot.

"Hey! I almost dropped the pot, asshole!" He turned thinking it had been Hirako who had pinched him, only he come face to face with shady Kisuke, a sly smile on his wet lips. He had Shinji in his other arm on the other side, biting his lip into the crook of his neck trying to not laugh. "Oh! What the hell, old man?" He rubbed at his ass and Kisuke hummed as if pleased by the reaction as Hirako broke and laughed at the blush that erupted over Ichigo's face. He turned back to making his coffee. "Stop laughing. You sound like a damn hyena."

"Oooh, I think he liked that. You're into receiving pain, huh, berry-chan?" He heard a muffled hum of agreement from Urahara. Then a squeak presumably from Hirako. They sounded like they were kissing again. That photo better get sent to him, he needed to let out some steam, and that would be the best material right then.

"No comment." Ichigo was not so much annoyed as curious. Maybe the older man was a lot kinkier than he thought and he had not expected him to make a physical move like that on him. Go figure he would have another side to him. It was probably why Hirako was so drawn to him. Shinji did mention him being a sadist. Was he just saying that teasingly, or was there some truth to that claim? He had always been a bit perverted but thinking of him as a sadist made Ichigo rather intrigued. The sounds the two were producing were hot if he would be honest. He thought about turning to watch them make out as he spooned in two spoons of sugar, the first cup a tad too bitter, and stirred it. After doing so he turned to the couple with his new cup and sipped it while watching them. Hirako had turned to Kisuke, both smiling at each other faces only a small inch from each other. Shinji took notice of Ichigo having turned to them and gave him a sexy lidded look.

"Oh. He definitely liked it." He said with a hushed tone as he glanced to Ichigo with a heated expression. Kisuke dipped to taste the other's slender throat with teeth and Shi let a thin, pink tongue with a green piece in it stick out at the kid in what was meant in a snide manner, but with the heat in his cheeks and the expression on his face it turned into more of a sensual gesture. Ichigo saw Kisuke glance between them before he bent down. Shinji scoffed when he was hoisted up and over a firm shoulder suddenly. "Hey!"

"Stop antagonizing him, Kitten. Unless you want me to send him pictures of you in your favorite red gimp suit?" The rugged man easily walked to the door to the hall with his prize. Hirako blushed and playfully swatted at Urahara's back.

"Don't you dare, Kisuke!" He was cackling despite what he was saying. Kisuke opened the door and half-turned to wave back to Ichigo. Ichigo waved his fingers to Kisuke as he left to go to his room with his prize. "Where are you going, Ichigo will be all alone!"

"I'm fine, you two have fun! See you in a bit for lunch." The youth shook his head at the two. Then he thought of something fun. "And I prefer text to e-mail if that helps, Urahara!"

"Noted!" Ichigo laughed at the response as he heard the muffled whines of Hira from the creaking staircase. It would probably be a while before they came back down, hopefully in time for the aforementioned lunch. A sip from the hot mug. Too hot. Gimp suit, hmm? Ichigo could see that. Hirako would be the type. There was a little curiosity about Kisuke and that whole sadist thing. He supposed if Hirako was in a gimp suit there was more happening there, and he was sure the scruffy blonde would tease the other so. Speaking of sadists, he saw a bit of that in his Kira. Most definitely a dominant man. That was kind of nice. Ichigo always wanted a partner he could explore all his kinks with without them treating him so frailly. Thinking on it further he was sure both Kisuke and Izuru were just mild sexual sadists, not full sadists like a certain man he had the unpleasure of being taken by. Aizen had stolen his virginity after he had been dragged to their bed and penetrated him many times that first night alone. There had been a lot of blood bled from his body that night, both from the stab wound and something that had been torn deep in his track. He recalled begging to die shamelessly. Begging to join the boy he loved that Tousen had killed. Gin had been kind enough to choke him unconscious midway through, though he had still come back to hours later. Aizen took pleasure in him screaming awake as he tried to fight all over again. Ichimaru had gotten in trouble for taking the true sadist's pleasure of the fight away for those few hours, Ichigo was sure. Perhaps that was a reason why Izuru did not want to explore asphyxiation. Ichimaru probably did that to him as well. Though seriously thinking on it, it was usually Aizen who held his throat in a firm grip. The memory of being hung up and fucked while those strong hands were tight around his neck still made him cum while masturbating. He use to be so defensive about all of these things, but recently it felt like a dam had broken, and now he felt totally free to just speak his mind. Well, for the most part.

A distant wanton moan was heard. That was sexy. Ichigo took his still full cup to go sit in the family area. While he passed the stairs he could hear muffled talking, soft and whimsical before another, longer moan. Ichigo licked his lips and went to the room downstairs, not daring to go to his room upstairs. He was worried he would walk past his to the blonde's instead, and he was in a relationship now, not free to roam as he pleased. Ichigo knew how it felt to have someone you had feelings for run off to fuck someone else, and he would be damned if he even humored it. If his boyfriend were okay to let people join, he would consider it, depending on who, but never apart from each other. Ichigo was not sure his heart could take that. He sat his coffee down on to the table and stepped over to the entertainment stand, pulling a pair of old, worn black headphones from one of the cabinets. After settling next to the table, he inserted the jack end into his phone and proceeded to find a heavy rift song and put the soft pads over his ears. That was better, now maybe his cock had a chance to calm down before they had to leave. Another small sip of the all too hot contents and his other hand flicked through his phone, pulling up Izuru's contact. He smiled at the device before texting him.

'hey hows it going? u should check your back btw'

Another, longer sip. Read. Content rose in his chest, and he smiled warmly at that. Three dancing dots.

'I'm aware they are there. It was no accident they were left. And I am doing well, just touching base with Shuhei on submitting my chapter of the week and some editorial advice on a haiku I'm writing. Yourself?'

Ichigo set the mug down and covered his smiling mouth. That was, wow, that was probably the sexiest thing he had ever been told by a partner. His boyfriend knew they were there, stripped his tops, pulled his hair up, and had been parading himself with those markings. The markings he made during love making. If Ichigo had a semi a moment ago, it was a solid erection now. So much for calming down. With a lick over dry lips he replied eagerly.

'u r the single most sexiest man in the world Kira Izuru. how r u so damn hot?'

A tan hand rubbed at the back of his neck, a small moan thinking of Kira escaped. He felt the ridges of the bite and blushed remembering that puncturing bite. Oops, the two blondies probably saw that. Damn, now he really wanted to let one out. The couple would think he was fapping to them, however, and that was not something he wanted to instigate. Okay, he did, but should not. Not without moon's permission and presence. His eye rolled back and rubbed on his hard on before looking to the device. Read. There was a pause and then a sudden chime. A photo was sent, with Izuru and Hisagi together, Shu being the one to hold the phone up and away from the two, both sitting next to what appeared to be a desk filled with papers. Kira had his clothing situated properly while he blushed heavily. That long mane was tied back and Shuhei's half shaved head looked nice, especially with that new horizontal purple stripe tattoo on the right side of his scalp, the black hair on the other side a little longer and rather shaggier than he had remembered. He had forgot that he had done that. Hisagi was grinning and Kira had a humbled smile on his face, both sets of eyes looking to the camera. His eyes washed over his lover again. Kurosaki felt his heart pitter-patter and swell with affection. He really was in love. Three dots.

'Sorry he does that sometimes. And thank you, but just so you know I feel like that toward you.'

'no problem and thx. 3 also I appreciate photos a lot & shinji got one of u earlier thats how I knew bout the markings hes supposed to send it to me for research purposes'

As an afterthought he turned the camera on and took a picture holding up a peace sign. A little stupid and school girlish, but whatever, it was what he felt like doing right then. The song picked up with a heavy aggressive rift. His foot swayed to the tempo. Read. He smiled, a little embarrassed about the photo. He did look good in it though. He tapped and saved it to the phone's memory and backed out to go into a contact under Cleopatra, to send the photo to Hirako. He would appreciate it. Then he went into his phone's photo gallery. A bittersweet feeling in his gut rose, the blue haired man and him kissing, licking and other shenanigans while drunk, Ichigo and Grimmjow taking turns taking the photos. There were some explicit ones as well, a nice one of Grimm's rubber worn dick inside his stretched hole, that was the time after he got his guiche pierced and wanted to show it to Kiba. He tried his hand at healing Kido and healed it enough to get fucked unconscious. There were even some videos he took when getting fucked while drunk beyond comprehension. Gods, Ichigo really was a pervert. He should probably delete those later. With a flick of his thumb, he scrolled down to more wholesome photos of himself with Ikkaku and Yumi, then some others of him with Rangiku and Shuhei and then his sisters. Oh, these were from the cookout from last year. He scrolled down further. There was one that always warmed his heart, him ad Renji standing side by side with Rukia in front, centered between the two men. She was holding up a small square photo; the first ultrasound of their baby. Ichigo smiled. She pulled it out last second and had not showed him until he saw the photo on Ichigo's phone. The man erupted with joy when he saw it, picking her up and holding her tight to his chest. Ichigo remembered feeling the tang of jealousy. It would be nice to have kids someday but being gay and not really interested in a surrogate would make things difficult. Adoption was one way, but in the end, he was not sure he should humor the idea too long. He still had his own nightmares; how could he deal with another human beings needs daily? His phone chimed as the music switched to some throaty vocals.

'Looking forward to seeing you Saturday. Should I bring anything?'

'so am i and i hope its okay but i invited my dad and sisters over'

'its up 2 you no one there would say no to free food lol'

Read. A yawn filtered through his body, deep and unavoidable. They had been up all night talking after Ichigo grabbed some junk food from the liquor store near the park and just watched some of the old movies and cuddled until they fell asleep on the old, sunken couch together. Sleep was achieved for only an hour or so, though. Izuru's alarm went off for him to return and get ready for work. Three dots started to dance on his phone. Ichigo both respected and loved that he took his duties and work seriously, but he had kind of wished he would have taken the day off. Then again, they would probably still be in the bed right then. Izu most likely still bruising his insides. Fuck, his boner really was not going down on its own. A text popped on the screen.

'That's no problem, I don't mind your family. They're quite receptive and always kind. Has Yuzu been doing well with her studies by the way? I have yet to work with Karin's martial arts practice though, so I don't feel I can really ask about that.'

Huh, Ichigo had no idea he was so familiar with his sisters. It would make sense, he supposed. His father had picked up some side duties for Seireitei in Karakura Town, since he stopped performing konso and other substitute Shinigami duties, and often other Shinigami would visit there after the war. Plus, he did remember seeing Izuru there when he would visit. Now that he said something, he was even tutoring Yuzu on something when Ichigo had come to bring some supplies a few months back. His heart warmed with that knowledge. Kurosaki felt like such a dolt after worrying about him meeting them. Of course he already knew them. A blush crept over his nose and cheeks. It was warm and made his chest tighten ever so gently.

'But anyway, how are you feeling? Hopefully not as tired as I feel.'

'I am looking forward to seeing everyday life at the Shoten when there's not a ton of Shinigami roaming around.'

That as fast. Ichigo switched over a moment to change the music to an operatic metal song. He liked the dual female and male vocals in this one. It felt epic. Another popup and chime.

'I can bring something with me, btw. I like to cook and can bring something light, like agar agar.'

Did he really want to text out all these replies? After a long thought Kurosaki decided to call him. Kira obviously had some time just now, and he could always call Renji, Rukia and Ikkaku any time he wanted to, so it must not be so frowned upon. With a tap to the contact info and another tap to the call button, his heart leapt when the ringing began. Almost instantly it went to voicemail. What the hell? His phone was not off, so why did he get silenced? Another call. Another silenced. With a huff of annoyance, he went back to the texts. Three dots.

'I'm so sorry, I really dislike taking calls in public. Please don't be upset, I just really prefer text messages. It's easier to reply to and I don't feel I am being rude to those I am working with. I hope that's okay?'

Well, now he felt like a giant asshole. A sigh and he felt his shoulders go slack and he laid his head on the table. Little things like this one would be learned over the course of time, but maybe they should go over them for future reference. Ichigo could see Izuru blushed and antsy right now, in front of Shu and who knows who else. How had he reacted when the calls came in? Had he startled or gasped? The operatic metal ended and switched to a wilting tune with softer vocals. It sounded kind of sad, but still beautiful and a lot slower. He did not mind the change. What kind of music did Izuru listen to? Was it like what Gin would listen to? Ah, Gin. The silver-tongued fox. Both depraved and divine. It was so nice to have someone in his life who he would be able to talk about him and not be told it was all in his head or that he was wrong to have those feelings of his. He still wanted to talk to Izuru, just to clear some things up he wanted to know about, and to just tell someone once in his life what exactly happened then. How he had been lashed and raped by Aizen and tended to after by Ichimaru. His lean hands gentle on his broken skin as he would apply salves. Ichigo would be taken by Gin gently when they were left to their own, and later Gin would have him take the lead some days, though Ichigo found very quickly he preferred to be on the receiving end. It itched something deep inside to be stuffed full and held down. Being bitten was a huge erogenous kink of his that the silver haired fox got him into as well, and apparently Kira as well. He wanted to reminisce on the subject with someone who could find the same fondness he held.

Ichigo wondered if Grimm would have still let him consume liquor and then fucked him raw if he knew he had been picturing Gin taking him most nights. He knew he was a little messed up to do that, but he could not help it. Especially early on when he was going through early withdrawal symptoms. As nice as Grimmjow could be, he just was not who he wanted to be penetrating him those cold, late nights. It was the man whose throat he slit that he wanted to be deep inside his body. Ichigo did not always fantasize about the slender man, and recently he had been more attuned to the present as he sought his blue eyes and feral mouth. But there was this yearning to have the man he murdered back in his arms to be held tight to a smooth chest and comforted when he was hurting. To just let go and not have to make decisions on anything. To be told where to go and when. To be told to strip to shower. To have food brought to him without him making the decision. He wanted to be allowed to just be pampered with zero work. And he knew how incredibly juvenile it was to think that, but there were days he really missed that bed, and the guarantee it held. He was expected to listen, be fucked, fed and be a means to please the two men however they felt fit. And some days that was all he wanted. Everything else just felt so draining.

When Grimm and him first got together Ichigo was drugged out of his mind, everything tinted a hazed rainbow of colors. The blue haired man asked what drug he had been on the following morning, and he only laughed in reply, because he honestly had no idea. Some sunglasses at the gay club he had snuck into gave it to him in exchange for a blowjob. And it made everything melt into a world of rainbows around him. Kurosaki had not realized Grimmjow had gotten a job at the club he started to go hide at to drink and get high so he would be properly numbed and passed around and groped at. Grimm came over and pulled him out back, literally knocking some sense into his inebriated head. When he sobered up a bit Grimmjow got permission to take the rest of the night off and get him home. That was when Ichigo grabbed the blue haired man and violently kissed him, next to his sleek bike, the air frigid and his lips cold. He offered himself in return for not telling anyone about the drugs or being at the club. He had no idea the offer would be snatched up so greedily, and last for three years. Then he developed feelings for him after all that time. Enough for the runarounds hurt. Deeply. He thought it might not be true, but that last night they spent together in his room at the Shoten, Grimm was half asleep and whispered another person's name passionately when getting his dick sucked, and that pierced his heart. Ichigo stopped his actions and just laid facing away from him the rest of the night, not that he noticed.

Sometimes he really wanted there to be something with him. They would go see movies, go to events both in Seireitei and there in the human world, and he even considered just moving in with him for a while in the beginning. Grimm was the first one to just let him be himself in a sense. Not fully, but enough, and more than all the others. Ichigo could remember the feeling of those sharp claws trace down his sides when he was first penetrated by that pierced cock wearing a ribbed condom. That first night was amazing, and they went at it until they were dead exhausted late into the morning, trash bin filled with rubbers containing Grimm's cum. Then he returned to the club a few nights later, politely refusing the drugs that his body was demanding in exchange for a ride back to a certain bouncer's apartment to get fucked until he felt properly numbed. It took a long time to fend off the withdrawal, but he managed with just Grimm helping, keeping it from everyone else as part of the promise. Then they started hanging out more outside of his job, and eventually the cat would turn up to an event or party, much to many of the other's surprise. That first winter holiday party Ichigo lit up when he saw the chic dressed Hollow walk in through the Shoten's front half, all decked out in black denim and leather rider boots with the genuine leather motorcycle jacket Ichigo had gotten him that year, and a black scarf tucked into it to keep warm when out on his bike. He had worked directly for Kisuke to earn enough to buy it, and he was thrilled that the panther wore it. Ichigo had hurried to him and accepted the bottle of high-end whiskey he had brought for everyone and started up conversation with ease as everyone looked on at them. He had forgotten how amazing the big old cat looked when he blushed. Damn, was he seriously thinking so intently on the man right then? Cannot be helped, they had history. And sadly, he still needed to cut sexual ties, and he was really worried that was the same thread as their friendship. But he had his Izuru now. His moon and the glow it provided. He did not need to drink or do drugs; he could just exist next to him. And that felt wonderful.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"C'mon, strawberry." The voice felt distant in his black haze. "Hey, wakey, wakey! Up and at it, sweetie." The jarring shake woke him with a slight start, but the hand turned into soothing strokes over his hair. His body relaxed and a yawn bubbled up. When had he fallen asleep? He looked to his right, Hirako grinning at him, face still flushed. The headphones were silent and had gotten pushed askew, so he pulled them off gingerly. A groan rippled through him; he was sore in his neck from the awkward position.

"Wha… Did I fall asleep..?" His head hurt a bit and he looked at his cellular device, tapping it to see the time. Two missed calls and a bunch of unread texts. From Kira. "Fuck…" He groaned out, throat dry as he wiped over his face and picked up the phone. Shinji plopped next to him and watched him for a moment.

"What's up?" Shinji asked as Ichigo groaned. Kisuke brought in some water bottles, handing two to Hirako and then sat down on his other side, dressed in nice street clothes. Oh, right, lunch. Ichigo scrubbed his face again, and then went to see what damages he had sown.

"I didn't reply to something I should have and just passed out. Didn't get any sleep last night, damn, I don't know how he's doing it right now." Shinji smiled at his adorable rough sleep laced voice as he set one of the bottles in front of him and opened the other to take a drink out of it. Ichigo opened the text box to see the damage.

'Really though, I am not trying to be rude or anything, and it's not that I don't want to speak with you. I'm just out taking care of various things throughout Seireitei including a meeting for the Fukutaichous, so a call just is not good right now. But I'm fine to text through the day.'

'How is your morning going thus far? Did they ask a ton of questions when you got back? Renji and Shu both have been asking about us and how it went all morning. Lol.'

'It feels nice to be honest and say we're in a relationship. Thank you.'

'You were really amazing last night, and I hope to get a chance to look at the calendar later and see about a time we could get together to talk about everything you want to get off your conscious. We will take it at the pace you want to, okay?'

'Are you busy right now? If you want me to stop texting just let me know. Oh, but what time will be best to come over on Saturday? Should I be earlier?'

'I'm so sorry, I'm heading back to the 3rd now and once I'm in the office I can call, okay?'

'I'm sorry if I upset you.'

"Fuucckkk…" He held his head for a moment with a sigh. He definitely fucked up. His heart hurt. But so did his head. He grunted and set the phone down and grabbed the bottle of water to take a drink before he quickly screwed the lid back on and picked the phone back up. He needed to reply asap. "Was I really asleep on this fucking table for four fucking hours?"

"Apparently. We came down just a short bit ago and you were out cold, snoring away. I put up the coffee you had out, you can make another pot, if you would like to." Urahara said before he sipped his water again. They were really going full hog at it for three hours while he was in the house? Mad respect. Not like he did not know about them and had not just blown his boyfriend's fat cock the other night. Still though, damn. So wonder Hirako was so fucking red in the face.

"No, not right now. I'll grab something when we go out… I need to reply to Izu right now though. I'm such a cunt…" He set to replying, fingers tapping on the glass of his cell. Hirako tipped back the water bottle again and looked to Kisuke, the older blonde whispered something and tapped his phone's screen. Shinji nodded and Kisuke went back to doing whatever he was doing on the phone.

'hey im really REALLY sorry! I fell asleep in the living room. im not mad at all I promise I wasn't tryin to be a giant dick I just fell asleep youre ok im sorry I didn't reply and had you worried!'

'if youre still coming over i think 5 is ok well start the grilling around 6 pls come ok?'

'you were really really really amazing yourself you have no idea how sexy u r'

'I love you, Izuru. And I am so sorry, you didn't do anything wrong, your response was perfectly fine. It's ok to not like to take calls, and I would never make you feel that you had to go outside of your comfort zone just to appease me on purpose. Once again, I am sorry.'

Ichigo stared at the device for a long moment after his fingers had stopped. Nothing. He sighed and set it down in favor of hydrating. He looked to his right while he sipped on the cold water, Kisuke had his boyfriend' face laid on his shoulder, the two of them looking at his phone. Hirako had on the same outfit as earlier, but Ichi saw the gold bracelet on his wrist. It had some symbol on the tag and a classic clasp. Some designer piece Ichigo was sure, considering it was a special order Kisuke had picked up from a fancy jeweler while they were out grocery shopping. That was sweet of him to do for Hirako. Kisuke's outfit was a new edition though. Ichigo had not seen those yet, a forest green v-neck with a small logo to the righthand side of the hemline and a black blazer over black slacks with a pair of basic dress shoes. Oh, right, they were going to some nice place. He probably should go change himself. His phone chimed a few times and he had never picked up so fast before in his life, slamming the open bottle down. His response was not lost on the couple. Both still flushed and recovering from their activities. Though Hira looked pretty worn in that amazing way you felt after getting nailed thoroughly.

'I'm glad to know you're not upset. I'm sorry for overreacting. I let my emotions get the best of me once again. It seems you do that to me.'

'And of course, I'm still coming over if it is still happening, it sounds like a lot of fun.'

'I love you as well, Ichigo.'

'Rukia, Renji and Shu say hi.'

'Okay, scratch that, everyone says hi.'

'lol tell them all hello from me, too. at the meeting?'

'Just ending, Ikkaku and Akon are arguing.'

'Akon goes to the Fukutaichou meetings now?'

'He was finally named Fukutaichou of the 12th after Kurotsuchi-Taichou decided to do more research before rebuilding Kurotsuchi-Fukutaichou"

'Oh, good for him then? Hopefully he can, though it sounds weird to talk about resurrecting her. Mayuri still gives me the creeps when I see him, especially after he tried injecting me with some green goop one time.'

'Seriously? When was that?'

'idk like 3 years ago? Actually, I think he tried before that, too.'

'but hey I need to go change so we can go have lunch the couple are waiting on me. luckily they woke me up just now pls feel free to text me still I just may take a few before I reply ok?'

"Okay, okay, I'll go change my clothes and be back down for lunch in a few." With a moan he set the phone down and got up, knees popping under the stress. Once he was up, he stretched hard, his back and neck popped as well. Cleopatra eyed the jewelry and the dark hickeys which earned him a tiny pinch to his nipple. He turned and stuck his tongue out and received an open mouth kiss from Urahara for it. One he greedily ate up. Ichigo picked up the bottle and drained it, crumpling the bottle as it emptied. He swiped the lid up and took them to be thrown away as he ran upstairs to change, leaving the two lovers to their kissing. Up the stairs he trotted with haste. A flick of his wrist and he landed the trash in the bin in his room and then to his drawers for a change of clothes. He already showered twice at the safehouse, so that was not needed. He pulled out a solid black pair of jeans, no holes, an undershirt and a red belt with a black, metal buckle in the shape of a skull. Over to the closet and he pulled out one of his nicer black button downs. The buttons were silver metal, and it had some stitching designs on the sides. This would be nice to wear out in public and not just to the clubs and bars for once. He tossed them all onto the desk before he rid himself of day-old clothes and redressed into the new outfit, the cool denim and undershirt fabric teasing his bare cock. He only tucked in the front half to show off the buckle. When he got back downstairs Urahara pointed to the device that had been left on the table. Ichigo came over and grabbed his cell looking around. "Where's Hirako at?"

"Restroom, we got a little carried away and the condom must have broke..." A sheepish grin and Ichigo laughed a bit at the look. The old man knew what he had done to his lover. Poor visored. Ichigo snagged his phone while still standing and looked at the new text. He really felt like he was back in high school every time he got a new text from Izuru. Kisuke eyed his smile as he sipped the last of his water.

'Hey, it's okay to say no, but do you guys think I could join for lunch? I freed some time up before I have anything else to get done.'

"Oh!" A zing of excitement ran through him. He had not expected to see him so soon. He looked to Urahara who was already looking to him quizzically.

"Hmm?" A gesture in acknowledgment to the device. Ichigo reread the text then looked up. What a wonderful look in his eyes Urahara thought silently taking in the youth's eager body language.

"Hey… Would it be okay if Izuru joins for lunch, too..?" He looked like a giddy high schooler all over again. How precious. And it was rather rare for the Fukutaichou to want to leave work early, a tall tell sign of how much he cared.

"That would be more a Shinji question, not a me sort of question. Though I doubt it would be a no."

"Awesome!" What a splendid face. Now he was starting to see what Tessai and Isshin were babbling about yesterday.

"Huh? What'd I miss?" Hirako looked between the two from the doorway as he tucked his shirt back in.

"Oh, hey, please say yes!" Ichigo turned quite suddenly and walked up to his friend with a bounce in his step. That was unusual and in the corner of his eye he saw his lover nod and give a thumbs up. Okay, that was a tad odd of the man.

"Yes..?" Ichigo laughed at the nervous reply. Especially without hearing what it was.

"Izuru can get the afternoon free to join us for lunch, if that's okay with you?" Wow. Just, wow. He had not seen such genuine light touch those honey browns in a long time. A bittersweet smile set itself on Shinji's lips.

"Yea, kid, no problem. I already told you I don't mind him. Kinda surprising he'd willingly leave work early, but I guess you are going to be there." A fine blush over his tan cheeks. Hirako smirked and Urahara laughed while he got up. "So does he wanna meet us here, maybe in the facility to grab his gigai?"

"Yea, for sure, I'll text him right now!" And as he said that he quickly had his phone lit up and tapped away.

'YES greenlight from the guys pls come to the training grounds to change into your gigai asap and well get you a change of clothes, any style in particular?'

'Okay, no problem. And whatever is fine.'

'A maid outfit, got u.'

'You're right, that would look amazing on you. I think blue would look best. Next time I'll bring one for you to wear.'

'I'm okay with that. Cyan is my fav color. ;) See you shortly, moon.'

'Already getting the Senkaimon open, sun.'

"He's coming over now." He beamed up at the other two as he put his phone away in his back pocket. Then a thought crossed over his features, his attention on Kisuke's body.

"I know I'm handsome, but won't Kira-kun be jealous?" With a raised eyebrow he smiled deviously, to which Shinji laughed.

"That's a good question, and no, I was going to grab some of my clothes for him to wear, everything else I have is either torn up or too small for his build." Ichigo bit at his thumbnail in thought. Ah, okay, he saw what he was thinking.

"No problem, I'll go grab him something to wear, you two go and meet him. It would be rude to not be there as he enters." Kisuke pecked his lover and scooted him and Ichigo toward the door, angling them to the entrance of his basement. Ichigo turned and hugged the older man with enthusiastic force. That was certainly unusual but definitely not unwelcome. Kisuke patted him.

"Right, thanks, Urahara-san." Another squeeze and he was off. Hirako smiled at Kisuke and the soft blush on his weathered face before he made his way after the kid.

"What's with the formal speech?" Urahara muttered to himself as he went up the stairs to gather the Fukutaichou some clean clothes.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The car ride was mostly filled with idle chatter. A bit between the two active Shinigami about their monthly budget, drills and how to handle the demotion of a lacking seated member before Urahara had asked how Kensei and Rose were doing in their reinstated positions as Taichou. Which Kira surprisingly answered, and Hirako mostly agreed with his observations. The kid was keen, that was for sure. Then something about Rukia and Renji's place being littered with white rose petals and a celebratory white wine package set in front of their place for after they have their baby from Rose, and Hirako mentioned Kensei being overly harsh with Hisagi. Kira responded with Shuhei had been taking the criticism well and learned to adapt to the situation. Kurosaki would pipe up here and there, but mostly listened. He did not visit Seireitei as much as he had used to, and he liked to hear of all his distant friends' exploits.

After a while longer of the drive they turned the corner to find parking off the street near the new place. Ichigo noted the place they were heading to was packed. Like, a line to the streets, packed. Perhaps a call ahead was overlooked. Kisuke must have thought the same thing, because while they were stopped for the light, he had Hirako look up a different place. Urahara told them he had gone with Yoruichi before, and that it would be just as fine dining. An older, western themed place where they used western style cutlery and had good quality wine. Kira ran his thumb over Ichigo's hand, and the youth smiled to him, both simply happy to be spending more time together. His borrowed maroon button down and dark wash denim jeans looked good on him, and his long hair swept to his shoulder opposite Ichigo felt inviting. Urahara turned the car and was taking a familiar road. Grimm's apartment was a few blocks South from where they were at. Shit. He had been enjoying himself so much, he had not thought about Grimmjow and how he would react if he knew he was with Kira. It was the dull man's fault for not just letting him talk as soon as they got home that last time. He probably would have at least gotten the first half out about wanting to talk about their sex life and maybe Hirako would have been a good support for him that night. Hopefully, it did not take him another six months to return. He swore if he were not back before the end of the month, he would just message him a gif saying, 'I quit' and leave it at that. Kurosaki looked out the window, his sudden turn in mood not unnoticed by his boyfriend.

"Hey, what's up..?" Kira leaned over and whispered, another tender grip on his hand. Ichigo sighed softly with small smile and looked back over to him, a kiss to his close face, and then he shifted to lay his head on his shoulder. Kira blushed a bit at the display but made no comment or move to stop it. His blue eyes flickered up and dared one of the two men full of smiles to say something after he heard a giggle from his captain. Hira raised his hands defensively and laughed a bit more, Kisuke reaching over to pinch at his nipple through the shirt. He jerked with an 'ow' and laughed louder. Kurosaki had his eyes closed, but still laughed at hearing the two men's playful behavior. He was not looking forward to it, but he still had to tell Grimm before he could rest easy being with Izuru. Though he really wanted to just text him, he knew that was wrong to do. Ichigo lifted their combined hands and kissed the pale one sweetly before he looked to him. Ocean blues were warm and so was the smile he showed him. It felt infectious as the redhead smiled warmly back, eyes searching. He leaned up and kissed his lips softly.

"It's kind of stupid, okay?" He mumbled as he looked to Kira's collar. Izuru reached up and stroked his cheek. Honey brown eyes looked to those ocean blues. "Should I still talk about it?"

"Only if you want to, if it's private you don't have to." He laid his head back down and Kira kissed it tenderly, soft orange hair tickling his jawline.

"No, it's fine. Just still need to talk with Grimmjow is all..." Kisuke pulled into a less busy parking lot, the restaurant still nice, but old and a little worn on its decor. He found a spot around the side and parked neatly. Ichigo found over the years the older man was particular with things like driving or helping Isshin at his clinic when there was a rush, and when asked he just said he needed to be precise, so he did not hurt the humans just trying to live their lives. It felt deep and Ichigo wondered what made him feel that way. It held an air of deep seeded guilt. Once the car was parked, they all started removing their seatbelts off. "I was going to the other night, but we got interrupted. And nothing meant by that Hira. I just won't feel right until I know everything is cleared up."

"Oh, shit, that's right. Fucker still not back?" Hirako looked back before he got out. The younger couple slid out and both closed their doors together. Kisuke looked up to the front of the restaurant before he grabbed hold of Shinji's hand and led him, the other not even batting an eye at it as the other two followed, Kira's arm draped behind Ichigo's lower back. This was nice. He never had Grimm over for lunch with the couple. Wait, was this officially a double date then? Shin looked back to his friend. "Eh, screw the fucker anyway."

"Language, Kit, and no he is not back, but Harribel-sama said he should be soon. She had him rounding up the Desangelado before he could leave." Once to the door, Urahara opened the sleek glass pane with the old gold metal handle, letting the other couple go in first. Once they passed Shinji slid in as Kisuke followed though once through Hira waited until Urahara led him by the hand again. A slender, black haired man was at the host podium. He had on maroon slacks, a black vest and a maroon button down with a black waist apron. He bowed slightly to the arriving guests.

"A table for four this afternoon, gentlemen?"

"Yes, and by a window, if it's available, please." Ichigo always liked the way Urahara handled everything. Smooth, with a note of demand. Even when they went grocery shopping or out at events. Oh, shit, they still needed to do laundry today since they missed it yesterday. He would bring it up later. The tall and slender man led them to a booth near a large window. It overlooked the nearby park. What a wonderful view. Kira let Ichigo slide in first as Kisuke let his lover do the same. Once they were all seated Kisuke looked back to the man still present. "Your waitress will be over in just a moment. Here are some menus for you to start. The baked mussels and leek potato soup are one of today's specials, and they are divine." Kisuke smiled up to him, his hand over Shinji's on the table. He was playing with the gold bracelet he bought him, and the man looked to it for a long beat.

"Thank you, I think we will take to the menu first, but I appreciate you letting us know." The host glanced down again and then nodded after Kisuke spoke. When he finished he bowed and then left. Urahara removed his hand form the gilded piece and opened a menu and held it up for his lover and himself to look over. Kira noted the act and said nothing. He recognized the symbol on the bracelet and the exchanged behavior. He just chose not to bring it up. It was their personal life. Kira and Ichigo opened their own menus, both looking to the small bi-folded list. The menu was short, and had only a few seafood dishes, but that probably made for exquisite meals since the chefs could focus on the high quality ingredients. Ichigo looked over the menu and flipped it over a couple times, probably to look over the impressive list of wine. "See anything you like, Kitten?"

"Yea, the shrimp scampi sounds nice." Hirako sat back and smiled to his lover. "Maybe a bottle of wine for the table, too?" Urahara smirked.

"Already thought to do that. And what were you two thinking of to eat?" Izuru glanced up to him from over his menu and then to his lover who still looked quite undecided. "We can decide on what bottle to get after to see about pairing something nicely."

"Oh, well…" Ichigo glanced to Kira, who smiled tenderly to him. "I was considering the salmon, but there was a lemon garlic scallop dish that sounded nice for the summer."

"It's not like we're going to choose for you, decide which one you would like, Ichi-kun." Though Kira laughed softly Ichigo looked to Kira with a start, and Izuru fought everything in himself to not be a tad irritated at the blonde when Ichigo then looked to Kisuke as if he would decide. Urahara glanced to Kira who sat back and crossed his arms with his eyes closed. Then to an almost pleading Ichigo glancing between his lover and the shopkeeper. Ah, he had not meant to stir the pot. This was just how the three always did it when it came to meals out with each other. Ichigo had a habit of not finalizing his choices when out and let Urahara pick the final one. He had never even considered what was happening, but with Kira like this he realized. He recalled Ichimaru's tastes and understood Kira must have had some training at some point and thought Kisuke was trying to control the choices.

"Kira-kun is right, Kurosaki-kun. Which one do you prefer?" It pained him to see the rounding in his shoulders. The youth looked back down to the menu. Ichigo liked when Kisuke would just decide from the couple of choices he would say. There was usually some logic behind it and it felt nice to just be told instead of relying on his own decision. He flicked his eyes to his lover and then up to the older blonde. Kisuke smiled softly while he took Hirako's hand to hold. Shinji glanced around the table a t the awkward exchange but said nothing. "We can always come back another time. It's not that far from the Shoten."

"I… The scallops sound nice." Ichigo hated this atmosphere. It felt like he had messed up by asking and now Kira seemed upset. Ichigo glanced to Izuru and back to the menu he placed down in the middle of the table on top of the others as he sucked in his lower lip to bite on at.

"Stop that, Kurosaki-kun. You know it'll bleed again if you keep that up." Urahara spoke without looking to him, his eyes over the wine list on the back of the menu. Ichigo pushed his lip out with his tongue and looked to the side. Kira glanced to Ichigo before he addressed Kisuke.

"I would prefer if you did not speak to him like that, Urahara-san." Both Hirako and Kurosaki looked to the younger blonde with mild surprise. His tone was firm and held an air of confrontation. "If you choose to engage with Hirako-Taichou like that, that is no concern of mine, but please reframe from speaking to Ichigo like that. He has no contract with you." Kisuke leveled a stare to him. His eyes were searching those ocean blues, calculating what to say to him. He was mildly surprised the other would bring that up.

"Hey… It's fine, I shouldn't be biting it anyway." Ichigo felt uncomfortable and was worried they had upset his new boyfriend. Kira must have sensed this and tried to relax while he turned his attention to Ichigo, his eyes softer.

"The context of what he said is not what bothered me, sun." His words were gentle and so was the hand that caressed his face. Ichigo smiled back to him and leaned into the touch as he enjoyed the public display. He felt soothed that he was not upset anymore. Grimm would never caress him like this in public, only occasionally grope him when the blue guy got drunk enough at the clubs or concerts. Urahara watched the two young lovers. Somehow It irritated Kisuke to watch the two, though he could not explain why.

"You must have been trained well by Ichimaru to pick up on small things like that. Did he train you personally, or use Aizen's more firm training methods?" Calm stormy greys locked with Izuru's blue eyes suddenly. The fury flashed across his blue eyes like lightning and his face flushed. Ichigo felt the icy reiatsu burst up, but had missed what was said.

"You-"

"Hello and welcome in from the afternoon heat! My name is Nani-chan, I will be taking your order. Would you like to order drinks and maybe an appetizer first?" Her bubbly personality brought some light with it and helped relieve some of the tension. She had a similar outfit like the other man. Her brown hair swept back with a large clip.

"Thank you, we are actually ready to take the whole order." Urahara decided he would just go about things like the three usually did. If Kira were so bothered, he could talk to him afterwards. The delicate smile and care-free attitude rubbed at Kira in all the wrong ways. In the smallest of ways, Kisuke enjoyed the loathsome stare that was directed to him.

"Of course, whenever you are ready." She smiled to the handsome man, pen ready over her booklet.

"We will take two orders of the shrimp scampi, one with a side of lemon wedges, the house salads with them, a lemon garlic scallop plate and…" He redirected the flow to Izuru, who looked fine on the surface as he smiled to the waitress, but Ichigo felt the chilled reiatsu simmering and flowing closely over his body. If Ichigo did not know any better, he saw a sparkle in Kisuke's eye, a dark sort of humor present. Really, what a sadist.

"The mussels with leek and potato soup, please." She jotted it all down quickly and looked back to Kisuke.

"The scallops come with either garlic bread or a house salad. Which would you prefer with it?" Urahara could feel the intense staring from Kira. He smiled and considered that Ichigo was already saying he wanted to eat healthier.

"The salad, please. No dressing." She jotted that down and before she flipped the booklet closed Kisuke added on. "And, ma'am, we'll take a bottle of pinot noir, top shelf, if you will. With a round of iced water as well."

"Wonderful choices, really. I'll have the bartender bring you your bottle with the waters." She bowed slightly and her eyes flicked to Kira before she left. Izuru stared at Kisuke for a long beat before he looked down and to his side where Ichigo was. He was making him uncomfortable and needed to stop. This was obviously how they usually did things while out, and he was upsetting both the flow of the meal and his redhead. Plus, he knew he was playing right into the old man's paws. He sighed and lightly ran his fingers over Ichigo's, who quickly turned his hand over to show what he wanted. Izuru looked to him, and they smiled to each other, fingers laced together. Kira would let them proceed however and ignore the older man for now. Shinji must have read his mind, because he spoke next.

"So, what are you going to do about ol' big and blue? I vote send him a text and throw the key in the damn fishtank." Kurosaki laughed and shook his head. The mood was lightened, and Kira was grateful to his captain.

"It's tempting, believe me, I thought about it. Well, not the key in the tank. I'm pretty sure that would kill the poor thing. But anyway, I'll just meet up with him and let him know about everything." A soft squeeze to Izuru's hand and Kira looked to him and saw those honey browns. "If that's okay?"

"Of course, I know you mentioned him already and please feel free to handle it as you like. I trust you." Ichigo smiled before looking down at the table. He shrugged with one shoulder.

"It's weird because we're not, like, dating or anything." Urahara opened his mouth to say something and Shinji tapped at his shoulder, a shake of his silky hair told him not to. So, he snapped his mouth closed just as quickly. Kira found that to be interesting but turned his attention back to his boyfriend without saying anything. Ichigo blushed a bit, but continued. "Just a bunch of drunken foolery over the years. But I guess I expect him to be piss poor about the situation and not want to hangout anymore. Which, if it happens, it happens."

"You're really over complicating it, berry-boi." The older bartender pushed a small cart to them, first serving their iced waters, a neat little lemon wedge on each glass. Then he individually poured four chilled glasses of the expensive wine. Then the bottle left in the center of the table. After he left Hirako sipped his while Ichigo smelled its sweet aroma. Kisuke took in a long sip. Kira watched him before he just glanced to his glass and left it untouched. "If you're not dating even, then why does he even need a talking to? Fuck him. Shit, look at what happened last time."

"Shut up, Cleopatra." Ichigo warned softly. He tried making it sound lighthearted, but it felt heavy. Kisuke looked over to him, as did Izuru.

"What happened, Ichi-kun?" Izuru squeezed his hand softly, and it made Ichigo's cheeks heat up a bit with everyone's eyes on him.

"Ah… Well." He looked with a hint of annoyance to the man across the table from him. Hira scoffed at the stare.

"Hey, not my fault the guy is a total lech. Barely got you through the damn door before he was tryin to force you down when you obviously weren't giving him consent. Still don't wanna think bout if I hadn't been there."

"What?" Kira and Urahara both exchanged looks after talking at the same time, then to Ichigo with concern. Ichigo shook his head and looked out the window covering his mouth. This was embarrassing to talk about with everyone staring.

"It was fine, we had been out drinking and he thought that's what we were going to be doing that night. You can't really blame him…" Hirako leaned forward and snapped in front of Ichigo's face to get his attention, much to the youth's annoyance. Ichigo swatted at the petite hand.

"Oh, c'mon, strawberry, the guy had been doing stuff like that for years now, and certainly doesn't need anyone's pity, especially yours. Like you said, he's probably out fuckin round anyway. Not like he cares." Somehow that hurt Ichigo, and Urahara saw it. Hira was pushing him a bit too much in the moment.

"Enough, Kitten." Hirako looked up to him, the command in his voice final, and then back to Ichigo. Oh, he had not been thinking and he made him uncomfortable.

"S'ry…" He sat back and picked up the wine to take a too long of a sip. Kisuke thought about telling him to slow it down, but it would work to his advantage anyhow, so why not let him drink? He would be heading back to Seireitei before nightfall to be ready in the morning for a mandatory meeting. Kisuke picked up his own glass and nursed a sip, eyes flicking to Izuru who was still looking to Ichigo.

"It's fine. As soon as he's back in I'll make sure everything is ironed out so there's no lose ends. It's really not that big of a deal. Just stop bringing it up, okay?" Ichigo huffed and then shyly looked to Izuru, who was looking to him. An unreadable look in his eyes. Ichigo thought he must be a little put off by all the talk of Grimmjow and himself. A hesitant tan hand reached over and held those strong pale fingers that were set near his cool glass of water. Izuru gave a tender grasp and smiled to his lover. Ichigo turned himself and smiled back, happy he had not completely turned him off. Kurosaki felt the need to change subjects. "I was surprised to see you walking around with your upper body exposed like that. Your tattoo looked great all glossy like that."

"Oh? Thank you for saying so. Sometimes I do wear them down, though this morning was because of some incompetent squad members dumping ink all over my shihakushou's haori. They were supposed to just sit it down and instead they sat it up high which of course it tipped and got it everywhere." He motioned with his hands to emphasize everywhere and sighed heavily. Then he gestured to Shinji as the Taichou sipped from the almost empty glass. "Speaking of which, your desk got some ink all over it as well."

"What? Those shits…" Hirako exaggerated while he covered his face with a groan. Urahara chuckled at the display. He picked the bottle up and nudged Hirako with his knee, the other holding his empty glass over to get refilled.

"I managed to clean it from the desks surface, but the paperwork that was there already was ruined. I let Sou-Taichou and Kuchiki-Taichou know, so more or less waiting for them to send over copies."

"Damn, that's gonna set us back at least a week…"

"Probably, but everything that could have been done after it has been taken care of."

"That's cuz yer a good Squad leader." Hirako raised his glass to him, and Ichigo was unsure if it was intended to be mockful or a serious compliment. Izuru simply smiled professionally and inclined his head to his captain, before picking up his water with his free hand to take a hearty drink. Kisuke silently watched Ichi look down at the wine in his hand and how he proceeded to set it down in favor of sipping his water instead. The salad was a good choice for him right now. Even if it bothered Izuru that he ordered for the redhead, he liked when he did so, and it was what they were all used to doing.

"You are in our world a lot lately, Hira. Don't you need to be more present in your Division, or am I missing something?" Izuru did not miss the sudden flicker of guilt over his captain's features before Urahara addressed Kurosaki instead.

"Missing something, but that's for another day, Kurosaki-kun."

'Oh. Yea… Okay. My bad." Before either Kisuke or Izuru could say anything to the dejected youth their waitress came over with a tray of food.

"Here are your appetizers." She set the salads down one at a time, and even made sure to give the one with no dressing to Ichigo. The soup and small plate of oyster crackers to Kira. "Would you like refills on your waters?" Kira nodded with a smile.

"Please do, it would be appreciated."

"Of course, we will have that over in just a moment, sir." She bowed and left with the tray. Ichigo undid his silverware and tucked the clothe over his leg, never really the most proper with such things. Everyone was silent for a moment as they started on their food. Izuru found it entertaining that Hirako took the carrot shavings and grape tomatoes out and put them into the redhead's salad without anyone acknowledging the act. They really have been at this a long time now. The waitress brought Kira a new water and took the old glass as he thanked her. Kisuke refilled Hirako's wine glass but placed his free hand over it until Shinji drank some of his water first. Once Kisuke saw him drink some he released the wine glass and continued his salad.

"So what kind of music do you like?" Ichigo asked Izuru before he sipped a bit of the wine before he returned to his salad. Kira licked his lips after he took in a spoonful of the soup and hummed.

"Most everything, though I am partial to classical and rock. You like heavier music mostly, do you not?" Ichigo smiled and gave a half shrug.

"Well, it varies, but yea, I love heavy metal. The more intense the better." He took a longer sip of the wine. Kira took in another spoon of soup and glanced to the two whispering amongst themselves. He caught part of it unintentionally but knew he should not comment. He was fine to do all of the work, so if his captain wanted to run around here, he could care less. He honestly did not think Hirako felt guilty over it, so he was mildly surprised at this. "We should go to a concert some time. It would be tons of fun."

"That would be nice. I have not done anything like that in quite a long time."

"You went to human concerts before, Kira?"

"Yes, I have." He replied to his captain, and then eyed Kisuke. "And yes, with Ichimaru-sama."

"I didn't say anything, did I?" Kisuke smiled a mocking grin before he drank his wine. Kira smiled to the older man.

"It was more irritating that you didn't." Ichigo sighed heavily before sitting up straight. He was tense.

"Fuck, seriously, can you two stop it? I really don't get what's with you two, but I'm not really into this pissing contest that's going on." The three men looked to him, and after a moment he looked out the window as he blushed a peachy hue. Urahara tried not to, but he could not help it. He laughed from behind his glass, hearty and rich. Kira followed and the two just laughed for a moment.

"I think you broke them, berry." Hirako snickered before he drank his wine again.

"Apparently…" He feigned being annoyed, but still smiled. At least there was not a tension in the air anymore.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The meal had been served with little incident after Ichigo butted in. The food was, of course, amazing, and the conversation was light and comfortable. The two kept to casual subjects such as the arts and literature. Ichigo told Kira that that was his major, and the long-haired man teased him for his horrible texting. Kisuke and Shi both laughed at that, Hirako agreeing. Though it was embarrassing, it felt nice to all be together and to be talking so comfortably. Ichigo still had not really understood what happened, but heard Kisuke bring up Gin, which he knew hurt Izuru. He would ask the older man what had caused all of that later when they were doing laundry. Ichigo had hoped Izuru would hang out with them a bit, but after they left the restaurant Kira and Urahara stepped aside and talked while Ichigo held on to shinji and they talked about a new jazz album coming out soon. The other two were all but ten minutes before Izuru exited the gigai much to the two other Shinigami's surprise, Kisuke caught it flawlessly and hoisted his creation into his arms easily. Kira came over to his boyfriend and with gentle ease he took both of his hands in his and kissed him tenderly on the lips. He said he had only planned to take a bit of time off and needed to head back for support to the third and fifth seat with their training exercise. Though a bit disappointed Ichigo said he understood and hugged his boyfriend tenderly before they shared a soft kiss and with that the Fukutaichou opened his gate and returned. Kisuke carefully laid the gigai upright in the back seat and gestured for the two beautiful men to get in. Shinji was rather red faced and giggled at something his lover whispered to him, and Urahara had his hand firmly over his slender thigh during the car ride home. How many glasses had Hirako had again? Ichigo had three, Izuru none, and Kisuke only a handful himself. The bottle was almost empty when they left. Ichigo looked up to the driving man and knew Urahara held his alcohol in quite well. He would watch him down nearly an entire bottle of liquor and still be able to work with flawless execution all through the night. But the man still took side roads and kept the driving to the speed limits just in case. With Kira back to work in Seireitei, the others returned to the house with little traffic to stop them.

"Oh, hey, Urahara. We should do laundry today." Ichigo remembered as they got out of the vehicle.

"Mm, you are right, though I was hoping you would forget." He winked to his former student.

"If you don't want to help, it's fine. I can handle it. You just handle him." Ichigo pointed to his friend and the drunk man giggled a bit before sauntering up to the redhead. The laugh was contagious to the youth as he smiled to the slender man so close.

"Why don't ya forget bout the clothes n come handle meh yerself?" He grabbed the younger man's face between his slender fingers and kissed Ichigo rather suddenly: the boy froze. His eyes found Urahara from the older man's snicker as he gently pried his Hirako off of the surprised am slightly aroused man. A whine slipped from Kisuke's kitten from being tugged away from his dessert and Urahara pulled him up into his arms easily to be carried into the house. That was… Exhilarating? Strange? Erotic? Whatever it was left Ichigo a bit in the air and with a semi to boot. Fucking Shinji. He was always such a damn tease. Ichigo went over and gently pulled the lifeless Izuru double out from the back seat before he followed the couple inside. Man, his lower half was in some serious knots right then. He had not felt sick, but the sensation was a fluttering in his nether regions, an unreadable movement low inside himself. After he got through the doorway Urahara came up and grabbed his creation and thanked the youth for getting it for him.

"Hey, it's okay to go hangout with him. He'll have to go back in a bit after this, right? I can do the laundry, Urahara-san." Grey eyes studied him over for a moment before they softened, and he smiled tenderly to the youth.

"Thank you, I appreciate that offer. Feel free to message us if you need anything, okay?" Ichigo nodded in reply as he left. He had gone to place the gigai back in its housing while the two were left to themselves. Ichigo waved to his friend who was sat on the bottom steps of the stairs. Hirako leaned on the wall and sighed. This was not like him; he usually only drank until buzzed. Not this drunk. Kurosaki remembered him not being around for his position, which was also unlike himself. He was usually a very responsible person, loyal and hardworking. Ichigo felt a small pin prick of worry for his good friend. Ichigo slipped his hands into his tight pockets and sauntered over to the slender man. His reactions were dull, but his eyes were still attentive and found Ichigo's honey browns before he looked down.

"S'ry bout that, berry." Ichigo took his hands out and squatted down to be level with Hirako, his soft hands placed on top of Shinji's knees gently. Shinji boldly slid his hadns over Ichigos and stroked that soft, tanned skin. He smiled to the older man with a sweet enough note it made Hirako feel torn. "S'ry…"

"Don't be. I'm not mad about it." He tilted his head with a grin. "Definitely had not expected it though. Urahara is gonna make you pay for it later, you know?"

"Mm, one can only hope so." The two shared a snicker at that. Shinji took in a deep breath and closed his eyes with his head still leaning on the wall. Those hands turned and grasped his hands tenderly. The kid knew how to punish him.

"Hey, Cleo?" Ichigo looked his friend over. His face was flustered and red dusted the part of his ear that peaked from his blonde hair. Ichigo always liked the cologne he used, a spicy scent with a bit of musk to it.

"Hmm, what is it, berry boi?" Hirako cracked his eyes open and looked to him when he had not said anything. Ichigo smooth his palm over those silky locks. It left a bittersweet feeling in Hira's chest.

"Everything okay with you? You seem really off today." Kurosaki asked so softly. Hirako stared into his honey eyes, searching back and forth for silent minute. He thought for a long time, and Ichigo almost told him to forget about it. Hira placed his petite hand over Ichigo's soothing one and held it to his cheek before talking. There was a painful look in his grey eyes.

"I just feel like I'm not doin no good up there, n every time I stay for more than a week I hate it all. I miss the freedom I had here, and I don't think I have the right to say that now." He paused and studied the younger man in front of him, his emotions rising. "All the damn work and keepin up with all the stuff I was supposed to remember." He frowned and shook his head. "They moved Renji to the 5th Division fer a reason, ya know. It wasn't an accident that I was moved over ta the 3rd. Kira is a good Fukutaichou. Good enough to hold the whole damn squad up on his own. If anything, I just keep gettin in his way every time I try n help there. I'm worse than Ichimaru was, I just know it." A pensive thought crossed his features before he leaned over, Ichigo bracing his left hand on his shoulder just in case he over balanced. Ichigo smiled to his friend even if it hurt to hear Gin's name being said aloud in that context. "You're really lucky, he's a good man n will treat you right. N he deserves a better Taichou than mehself."

"You are doing the best you can, love. You just need to decide if you want to be there or here. You're still torn after all these years. And no one will hold it against you if you just resign and help out here or the Visored Junction." Kisuke kneeled next to him, taking his free hand in his with a tender grace. Ichigo had not realized he had come back up but was glad he had. "If you want to be here, then you just need to say it."

"Kisuke is right, Ukitake-san will understand. He always does." Kisuke looked over to him briefly and knew where that was coming from. Ichigo had sat with Kyoraku, Urahara, his father and Ukitake to tell the newly appointed Sou-Taichou he no longer wanted to continue his duties as a Substitute Shinigami, though he practically begged to be able to see all his friends still. A request that was swiftly granted. The blonde looked back to his intoxicated lover, and vaguely wondered why he had not stopped him from drinking so much. Urahara mentally kicked himself. Hirako looked so incredibly torn.

"But I can't even be bothered to do anything right there anymore. I made such a fuss bout bein a Taichou again." He scrunched his face and a tear slipped lose.

"And just as Love and Hiyori feared it was a lot to adjust to. Seireitei has changed and so have you. How would you know you were going to miss the world of the living so much, hmm?" Kisuke caressed his face sweetly, thumb wiping the lose tear. Hirako sniffled and another tear slipped down. Ichigo had never seen his friend look so vulnerable before. He stroked his face and just kept smiling to him to show support as Kisuke wiped the tears that fell. The shared moment was tender, soft caresses and mumbled support to the Taichou. Kurosaki stood up at some point and sat next to him and gave him a big hug, which he returned fully. Urahara rubbed at his thighs softly and once the to pulled apart he stood up. The redhead got up and then the two of them helped the slim man up, to which he giggled ceremoniless. Once all three were up Hirako embraced both them in a tender hug, an arm over each man's shoulders.

"I love you guys both." Ichigo patted his friend on his back, and Kisuke kissed his shoulder.

"You're just saying that because you're a sappy drunk." Ichigo and Shinji laughed, but Kisuke knew his lover meant what he said. He accepted those feelings his partner had long ago and would never make him feel ashamed or wrong for having them. Ichigo pulled away first and Kisuke took advantage of it by wrapping his arms around that slender waist and dove into that sweet mouth with care. "I'll grab the bedding from Yoruichi's room. Anything you need washed that isn't already in the baskets?"

"Just the towels in the washroom upstairs. Are you sure you don't want any help?" Ichigo was at the top of the stairs and looked back down at the couple before he shook his head as he smiled.

"Mind making some more coffee? Do that, and I'll handle the rest."

"Sounds like a deal then, Kurosaki-kun."

"Coffee does sound nice, Ki." Hirako ran his hands up his lover's firm back. He loved when he wore modern clothes, it accentuated his form nicely. Ichigo left them to gather up the bags from the baskets and the few pieces from upstairs. "I shouldn't have kissed him. I don't know what was runnin through my head."

"You're sobering up now, so it's fine. I should have stopped you from drinking so much." A soft press of lips and then he looked over him while the old perv licked over his own lips. "It was a little exciting, and if he and Kira were not dating, I would have let you continue, in all honesty."

"Yea?" Hirako looked skeptically to Urahara. Though he still smiled at that offer.

"I've told you a thousand times now I'd happily accept him into our bed, Kitten. I recall even trying to bring him to our bed one night when you were quite infatuated with him. Though you stopped me at the door."

"I told you, I couldn't control myself… I was worried he'd get scared or turned off, ya know?"

"Hmm, let's go make that coffee, Kit."

"You're a big boy, can't you make it yourself?"

"Oh ho? You're really trying to work your way into some trouble before you head back, aren't you?" Kisuke slapped his ass, hard, and made him laugh after a hearty yelp.

"Glad to see you recovered, now come help get these downstairs." The youth had popped his head over the railing after having heard the laughing.

"Yes, Sir, strawberry." Hirako saluted his friend and waltzed up the stairs to assist. Urahara watched them intereact for a long moment, and could see them working out if he and Kira were not in the picture. Then again, the four of them could always have some fun together. His and the Fukutaichou's conversation was interesting, and he realized he had been a tad jealous over the closeness Izuru was displaying to Ichigo so openly. Kisuke knew about Grimmjow, but the man never once showed Ichigo such tenderness when he visited. Always brash and occasionally flirtatious, but never so caring. And the end of their little talk left open a lot of future possibilities once those two sat down to discuss limits and boundaries. That was exciting to think about.

"I'll go get the coffee going."

"Thanks, Urahara!"

"Yup."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Ichigo! Ichi-" With a sudden start and a rush of panic Ichigo swiped at the one with their hands so firmly planted on his shoulders holding him firmly to the bed. He did not want to be raped and hurt again. He wanted slender fingers to gently hold him, just as Ichimaru and now Kira did. A pained sound erupted before his vision cleared and he saw who was there: Karin was holding the side of her face and he could smell the rich copper scent before he saw it. A new panic set inside his soul. It must have been she who held him down as he woke up. Oh, gods, there was blood rolling down her face. He made her bleed. She was bleeding because of him. He looked down at the talons and red tuff that was receding at that point. What was he dreaming about? He could not remember. He looked back to her when she said his name, eyes inhumanly wide and afraid. She saw this and started to try and talk him down. But it was a fierce and guilt-ridden panic that ate at him as his heart raced and he tried sucking in air forcibly. He hesitantly reached for her before yanking his bloodied fingertips away and then desperately looked around to find Kisuke. No where to be seen. His breath was uneven, and his chest tightened so. She saw nothing more than fright in his widened, doe-like eyes.

"Kisuke!" Ichigo called for the older man with his hoarse voice. How had he gotten up in the living room? He had been in the laundry room. What was happening? What time was it? Why was Karin at the Shoten? "Oh, oh, god, I'm so sorry. Karin, I'm sorry!" When she flinched, his heart twisted. She was afraid, not of him, but the pure terror he had in his voice. He was acting as though he had cut her stomach open. It was just a small cut on her face. Face cuts bled a bit, no big deal. He finally held her shoulders with shaking hands. "I'm sorry, please wait! Kisuke!"

"No, Ichi-nii, it's fine. Stop calling for him, I'm okay!" She hushed him as gently as she could, just like she had seen the older blonde do once. She did not want everyone rushing up and him being overwhelmed or embarrassed. She had not seen him like this in such a long time. Karin thought he had gotten over all the nightmares and panic attacs.

"I'm so sorry, please, I'm sorry! Just, Kisuke! Please, where is he?" She realized he was not listening to her, only panicking more when she tried hushing him. She had not seen him this upset since he tried staying over a few nights in a row. It was then her father had to admit it was better to be at the Shoten with Urahara, because being under the same room only exasperated the anxiety her brother had. When she was younger, she took it personally that he had not to be around them anymore. She shunned him for a long time for it, which only hurt him more in the end. The last few years was spent rebuilding and patching their relationship. And she had thought it was doing so much better. But right then it was worrisome to see. Unohana-Taichou and Yoruichi-san helped her to understand a bit more and she realized with knowledge and age that it was not something he did to be malicious to his family. It was just the after math of being directly involved in a war he had no control over. He yelled again, his voce cracking. She held his arms and tried again to tell him it was okay. To get him to look to her properly. But he only seemed more tense the more she tried to sooth him.

"Ichi-nii, just listen!" She huffed as her patience was thinning. "It's okay, it's fine, stop."

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." He was repeating himself, and so was she. She just needed him to calm down, how could Urahara make this seem so damn easy? "Kisuke!"