Disclaimer: I do not own it; this as always is just for fun
Humor
Fandom- BayVerse
Summary – What would the Autobots and Decepticons reactions be toward Dark of moon if they were real and if they got to tell him?
Another companion story to the Excuse me, Mr. Bay Can we have a word
Excuse me Mr. Bay; but we did warn you
Chapter 3
A black Topkick, a blue with red flames semi, 3 racing cars, a yellow and black search and rescue Hummer, a strange tank, several F-22's, a yellow Camaro with black racing stripes,
Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots transformed and the others followed suit; to say the Autobot leader was angry was a slight understatement. He was furious.
"How dare this human put such slag about us for money?" Optimus growled.
"Sentinel Prime would never do the things he showed him doing, this is an outrage!" Sideswipe yelled.
Sideswipe's twin grumbled.
"He didn't even think I was special enough to add, and I am so photogenic too." Sunstreaker said smirking.
"I wonder what our fans think." Bumblebee mused.
"He dared to make me look like some sort of deformed creature with half a face!" Megatron roared.
"He also made it look like there was no truce, our war is over we are all friends and friends with benefits." another voice said as a cop car drove up and transformed.
"Barricade, hello..." Bumblebee replied.
Starscream huffed.
"You didn't get offlined by a slagging little Earth child." Starscream grumbled.
Wheeljack rolled his optics.
"At least you didn't look like someone painted a mask on your face plates, I looked hideous fragging human." Wheeljack snarled.
Optimus made an angry sound, while his intakes vented in chaos.
"There was no mourning either he made us look cold, and he made you look so cruel Optimus." Bee said.
"At least you didn't look like a limesicle or a tic tac." mumbled Ratchet.
"Well let's get on with this..." Mirage remarked.
(Michael Bay's residence)
The Autobots and Decepticons scanned his home, and found the irritating human was not home.
"Now what...?" Megatron snarled.
They heard a vehicle suddenly; they waited until the human came into the room. He wasn't alone.
"He jumps human femmes like petro – rabbits..." Ratchet mumbled as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe chuckled. "And don't you two start, you two are just as bad." Ratchet grumbled.
"Sunny did it not me!" Sides remarked.
"You're just jealous, because I am prettier then you." Sunny snapped, crossing his servos over his chest plates.
Ratchet and Optimus were ignoring the twins, as they were distracted by the humans talking rather loudly. Ratchet glanced at Optimus when they heard the different conversations.
"That femme is trying to convince him, the sparkling inside of her is his. My scans have shown the sparkling is not his growing inside of her." Ratchet said.
"Then it is your duty as a medic to tell him." Optimus remarked.
Optimus tried to be stealthy opening the door, but his size and strength he just destroyed it. Michael was startled, but use to it; after all they showed up before.
The femme with him was not so lucky, she screamed bloody murder.
"They are real you never said anything about them being real!" she screeched.
Michael walked to the window, which was now a massive hole.
"I believe Ratchet needs to tell you something, Mr. Bay." Optimus remarked.
"That femme is not carrying your sparkling; the DNA does not match." Ratchet remarked, as the blonde went to open her mouth, but shut it when Ratchet shushed her. "We are advanced life forms you cannot lie with us around." Ratchet remarked.
"Get out, now; and try your lies with someone else." Michael snapped, the blonde huffed, and ran out of there so fast it made his head spin.
"Wow, she took off so fast it almost made my head spin around on my shoulders." Michael said with a chuckle.
"Mr. Bay, it is highly impossible for your species to spin your heads; you'd be having a grisly offlining." Ratchet remarked dryly.
"Okay, well I was just using a phrase, but never mind; so, what can I do for you guys?" he asked.
"We thought you weren't going to make that third movie about us." Sideswipe remarked.
"No, I never said that, I said it would be my last movie. It's racking in the bucks too; the fans love it." he mused.
Optimus sighed.
"You made me look evil and cold; we have no war now we settled our differences. I would never have killed my brother had he made an offer of a truce. You made Sentinel out to be evil, and treated my men like... they aren't mourned when they offline. You should have made Ironhide go out cannons blazing taking out enemies with him. That was inexcusable." Optimus snarled.
"You made me have half a face, what the slag is wrong with you?" Megatron growled.
"I looked like a slagging limesicle!" Ratchet remarked.
Ironhide reached in picking up the director by his shirt.
"Should I be afraid?" Michael asked looking at Optimus.
"You need to show us the right way, Bay..." Megatron retorted.
"The great Starscream would never be taken out by a runt of a human." Starscream mused.
Sunstreaker pushed past his twin, he glared at the human.
"Why wasn't I in your slagging movies, you put my brother in your two movies but not me! I am so much prettier then Sides, I mean hello, who can resist my face plates?" Sunny retorted.
Ironhide's cannons twitched, he was getting edgy.
"I need to blow something up..." Ironhide snarled.
"Not anything here you can't..." Bay remarked.
Ironhide looked at each of his cannons, and then back at Bay.
"Boys, he's trying to deny you, I could always use you for target practice." Ironhide mused.
"No, no, no, that's not necessary I see your point." Bay finally said nervously.
Ironhide shoved the one cannon in front of Bay, which made him scream.
"He screams like a human femme make it stop!" Starscream snarled.
Suddenly all the Bots and Con started to sniff the air, Bay looking slightly embarrassed at that moment.
"What is that slagging smell?" Megatron and Optimus demanded.
"Ah yeah, that would be me." Michael said meekly.
Silence...
"You reek human, what's wrong with you?" Sunny snapped.
Silence...
"Well, answer human called Michael Bay." Optimus demanded.
"I had to use the bathroom before, and well when Ironhide shoved his cannon in my face..." he trailed off trying not to lose the last of his dignity.
"That is gross, someone take him!" Ironhide mumbled.
"Slag no, I ain't taking him; you take him." Sunny snapped.
"I ain't taking him..." one of the Cons said.
"Oh for Primus sake just put him down." Optimus grumbled taking the human and placing him back into the house.
Silence...
"Thank you..." Bay whispered.
"Do we have an understanding no more making us look like cruel creatures; we are peaceful sentient beings." Optimus remarked.
Sunny cackled then.
"What is it, Sunny?" Megatron asked.
"We are peaceful sentient beings who made him shit himself." Sunny laughed, as all the Cybertronians started to laugh.
Michael of course wanted to crawl under a rock and die of embarrassment.
"The very thing that is making me millions, just made me lose all my dignity all in one night." he mumbled, as he looked at all the robots sliding to the ground in hysterics including Optimus and Megatron.
What a night...