ATM: The Bonehead and the Brain – The Last Helmsley Rises
All Hell breaks loose when DX return to take over the WWE and Seth and the God girls wonder who is going to be the last DX family member standing after Wrestlemania.
Chapter Eight – BayRock goes Live
Santa Monica Baptist Church, Los Angeles, CA
In the church sanctuary, Rocky and Bayley were signing the register to make their marriage official and Sasha's foot was tapping nervously on the sanctuary floor with Abiyah bumping up and down thinking he was on some sort of leg ride. The God girls knew what was wrong with the Boss Mom; Bayley had threatened her husband right there on the church altar because he dared to question the legitimacy of Bayley's love for the Rock. Everyone knew that Bayley was in love with Seth but were choosing to ignore it for the sake of Rocky's mental health. Seth could do no such thing in God's house as only the Truth would be accepted before the Lord. Bayley wasn't interested in hearing the Truth however but for Seth, the most important thing was that Rocky know the Truth. How he chose to handle the Truth was totally up to him.
Bayley almost tore the pen through the register as she signed her name against the Rock's, she was so mad at Seth for putting her on blast in front of everyone, especially her soon-to-be husband. She slammed the pen down and Seth took the register up and smiled at them both.
"Now that's out of the way we can get back to the ceremony," he said and Rocky smiled at Bayley.
"We're almost man and wife, are you excited?" he asked her, clearly he was.
"No, I'm super-pissed!" Bayley roared and Seth tried not to laugh at her rage.
"Bayley that is so inappropriate; this is God's house, try to watch your language," he said calmly and that enraged Bayley even more.
"I ain't got no more wrists to break Seth so please, stop provoking her," Rocky said and Seth nodded.
"Let's go guys, we're almost there," he said and he escorted them both back to the altar while everyone talked about what an eventful ceremony it had been so far.
Sasha's foot was still tapping because she was so worried about Seth. Faith Star reached up and took a giggling Abiyah from her while the God girls calmed her down.
"Let's go for a walk Abi," Faith Star said taking Seth and Sasha's little boy for a walk up the aisle. Bayley turned around feeling something pulling at the hem of her wedding dress. It was Abiyah and he was walking all over it and Faith Star was swinging it back and forth.
Bayley looked at Seth horrified, "Get your little brat off my wedding dress! It was designed by Roberto Cavalli, not the makers of every Disney costume ever made!"
Sasha got up and called for her son, "Abiyah, come to Mommy!" she called to her highly animated newborn.
"Wow, he's walking already?!" Rocky said impressed. "You gotta love those Samoan genes, you're welcome Sasha,"
"Shut up Rocky, your cousin doesn't get all the credit for my son's supernatural development. That honor goes to my husband, Seth Rollins. Seth's the reason why Abiyah's so highly developed, not Roman," Sasha said sticking up for her husband.
"Thanks Boss," Seth said and he waved at Abiyah, "Go to Mommy lil' man,"
"Abiyah continued to jump up and down on the train of Bayley's wedding dress, he wasn't going anywhere.
"What's that sound?! He's ripping my dress!" Bayley cried and she spun around and pulled the train of her wedding dress from under Abiyah and Faith Star causing them to fall over. Faith Star laughed it off but Abiyah was not amused. He stood up with a mean expression on his face, an expression that could only be from Roman Reigns and he pulled Bayley by the train of her wedding dress until she fell backwards looking up at the beautifully decorated church ceiling.
"Wow! How strong is your son?!" John Cena said to Sasha. "You know that's Roman's strength, Seth ain't that strong,"
"Stop comparing my son to Roman," Sasha said annoyed as Rocky helped Bayley to her feet.
"Faith Star do your job and keep Abiyah out of trouble," Seth said to Faith Star who hurried back to her seat taking Abiyah with her. As Rocky lifted Bayley back to her feet, Seth prepared to resume the ceremony.
"Will you now please exchange your wedding rings," Seth said to Bayley and Rocky and they exchanged the wedding rings that Faith Star had chosen for them.
"I've never been so embarrassed in all my life," Bayley said bitterly. "Asking Seth to officiate this wedding was a huge mistake,"
"I'm actually enjoying myself, why aren't you having fun?" Rocky said. "I mean, who said wedding ceremonies were supposed to be boring? Isn't this what you wanted, to have a memorable wedding? We haven't even gotten to the good part yet and everyone's having such a great time, including me,"
Bayley looked around and saw all the guests laughing and clearly enjoying themselves and that was thanks to the Rollins family.
"I guess you're right, this wedding truly is one for the books," Bayley conceded. "So when do we get to the fun part?"
"That's this part," Rocky said and Seth continued with the ceremony.
"Do you Dwayne Johnson take Bayley to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, in the good times and the bad times, for ever and ever for as long as you both shall live?" Seth asked Rocky and the Great One smiled at Bayley lovingly.
"I do," he said sincerely and Bayley cried amazed by her own tears.
"Now Bayley, same question. Do you take Rocky to be your lawful wedded husband; to have and to hold, in sickness and health, in the good times and the bad times, for ever and ever as long as you both shall live?" Seth asked Bayley and the future Mrs Johnson paused before answering.
"Yes, I do," she said finally and Seth shook his head with derision.
"You are such a liar," he said and Bayley looked at him furiously.
"Just pronounce us man and wife, God Seth I hired you to do one thing, just make it official and keep your stupid theories about me being in love with you to yourself, okay?!" Bayley yelled and Seth felt uneasy.
"You just lied to the man you claim to love, you have no intention of being with him for the rest of your life. You're just using him as a hold over until you make your next move on me. You could at least be honest about it instead of making him believe you feel the same way about him that he feels about you," Seth said and Bayley had heard enough.
"That's it Seth; if you don't pronounce us man and wife, I'm going to take that Bible and shove it so far down your throat, you'll be sneezing Bible verses for the rest of your life!" Bayley threatened Seth.
"That's no threat, I love quoting the Bible, especially the part where it says we should tell the truth in love. You just stood up in front of God and the people sitting in these church pews and said that you will love the Rock forever. You lied to everyone and your future husband. We both know you really feel Bayley but Rocky truly does love you and for your sake, I hope that's enough," Seth said and Bayley grabbed him by the hair and got into his face.
"Just pronounce us man and wife you God-loving freak!" Bayley commanded and Seth untangled himself from Bayley's angry hands and composed himself.
"By the power vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you Rocky Johnson and you Bayley, man and wife. Rocky, you may now kiss the bride," Seth said but Rocky just stared at Seth, not moving or saying a word, "Rocky, did you not hear me? You may now kiss the bride," Seth said again but Rocky remained silent and he just stared at Seth.
"No, you kiss her. I wanna see what happens when she kisses the man of her dreams," Rocky said and Bayley looked at Rocky like he was crazy.
"I can't kiss Bayley, I'm already married and I already threw up like three times this month and I really don't want to do it again right here at Santa Monica Baptist Church. Mac's dad will be so mad at me if I get vomit on this beautiful altar carpet," Seth said but Rocky wasn't kidding.
"I'm serious Seth, you may now kiss the bride. I wanna see what happens; if she loves you like you say she does, her knees should go weak when your lips touch, so kiss her," Rocky said and Seth shrugged.
"Alright," he said and he looked at Sasha and the God girls. "Remember, I'm only doing this because he asked me to. Bliss, get ready to hold my hair back when I'm done because I'm about to blow chunks over this nice church altar," he said and Bliss went to get a bucket for clean up duty in preparation for the worst kiss of Seth Rollins' life.
Bayley folded her arms unamused.
"I'm not kissing you Seth, enough of the jokes already. I am in love with the Rock, deal with it. I don't care what you or Jesus say, I am not lying," Bayley said and she turned to Rocky, "Will you please kiss me so we can go eat some vintage wedding cake? The Damsels of Destruction had it made special, it was made from the great ancestors of the French King Louis XV," she said to Rocky sweetly.
"Do not eat any of that wedding cake," Bianca said to the God girls who nodded that they wouldn't eat any of Bayley's fancy wedding cake.
As Rocky and Bayley kissed everyone, except Sasha and the God girls applauded. Seth watched as Rocky and Bayley left the church sanctuary with Stephanie McMahon holding her train. As the church emptied, Seth sat on the church altar with his Bible in hand. John Cena and Mickie James stayed behind for a moment while the God girls and Sasha joined Seth on the altar steps.
"How could you let him go through with it if you knew she was lying about her feelings for him?" Cena asked Seth confused. "She shouldn't be with him if she's in love with you,"
"Then who should she be with John?" Seth replied. "Bayley's never going to stop loving me, even when she says she hates me, she still really, really loves me. At least Rocky knows what he's in for and it is going to be one Hell of a ride, you better be prepared for some late night distress calls Cena because they're coming to a cell-phone near you,"
"Thank God she didn't kiss you, we'd be scrubbing vomit out of this altar all night long," Alexa said to Seth patting him on the knee.
"Are we going to the reception?" Becky asked Seth who nodded.
"Yeah, you guys can go. I'm going to take Abiyah home, you'll be fine without me," Seth said pulling his son into his arms.
"You're going back to the Sandbox?" Charlotte asked Seth.
"No, I'm going to Pensacola to see Roman. I want him to spend some more time with Abiyah before Sasha and I leave for Saudi Arabia, now's as good as a time as any," Seth said. "You guys have a good time at the reception,"
"I'm sure Bayley will miss you," Cena said sarcastically.
"I know she will, even if she denies it," Seth said and they walked out of the church before going their separate ways.
"Do you want me to come with you to see Roman?" Sasha asked Seth as everyone got into their cars.
"No, I'm so mad at you for giving Bayley that necklace I don't want to be with you right now," Seth said to Sasha angrily. "Of all the stupid things you bring to the wedding ceremony, you bring a giant sapphire necklace!?"
"I thought it would look nice on her," Sasha said defensively.
"Why don't you leave the thinking to me and the God girls? You have no idea how much damage you could have done today. I can't even look at you right now Sasha," Seth said and he walked away from her but Sasha ran up to him and grabbed his arm.
"So this is why you're going to see Roman, to tell him what a stupid wife I am?!" she asked angrily.
"What I say to Roman is between me and Roman, after all, we were best friends long before I even knew your favourite colour was blue," Seth said and Sasha reached for Abiyah. "What are you doing?"
"Well give me my son, you're not taking my child to some Boss-hating session with your best friend," Sasha said.
"So now you want me to listen to you? Abi and I are going to have a lil boys night and we will see you later Sasha. Maybe you should think the next time you decide to buy a necklace without telling me, you have no idea how powerful you are and that makes you a threat to this assignment. Make sure you don't eat anytihng at that reception, you really let me down today Sasha, today was a real step backwards," Seth said and he got in his Chrysler and left for Pensacola with his wife's eyes brimming with tears on the sidewalk.
"Is everything okay?" Alexa said coming over to her with Becky and Charlotte.
"Nothing I ever do will be enough for him," Sasha said with tears running down her face. "I'll never be like you guys. I'm just not good enough and I'll never live up to his expectations,"
Charlotte, Becky and Alexa consoled Sasha while Bianca looked on cautiously, "What did you think was going to happen Sasha? Bayley is a seriously disturbed person and you buy her a sapphire necklace?! Is you crazy woman?!" Bianca said. "I aint trying a jump in on you but girl, you really shouldn't have done that, especially without telling your husband first,"
"I guess I've still got a lot to learn about being a Christian wife," Sasha said and Bianca squeezed her shoulder.
"We all do Sasha, I just don't understand why you gotta make it so hard for yourself when it is so obvious to everyone else that Bayley is in love with your husband. Why are you so set on bonding with her? She even wore your wedding shoes and I bet you didn't even notice that she had them," Bianca said and Sasha shook her head.
"I don't know what to do Bianca, she's my best friend okay!" Sasha said and Bianca shook her head and Becky could see things were starting to get heated.
"Look, let's just go to the reception and talk. We won't eat any wedding cake but we can talk and then you can figure out what to say to Seth when he comes home," Becky said and Sasha nodded.
"It was just a necklace," Sasha said as they got into the car and headed for the reception. No-one even realised that the necklace was gone and by the time they realised, it would be too late.