ATM: The Bonehead and the Brain – The Last Helmsley Rises
All Hell breaks loose when DX return to take over the WWE and Seth and the God girls wonder who is going to be the last DX family member standing after Wrestlemania.
Chapter Fourteen – New Baby Smell
The DX Family Room
The DX family gathered around each other in the family room with Bianca and Montez Ford and Becky Lynch. Seth and Sasha had gone out and Alexa and Charlotte were on dates much to the Man's resentment. Hunter was feeling resentment too but for a totally different and dumber reason.
"I can't believe those two went out and left their baby with us," Hunter said as Faith Star played with Abiyah Rollins. "When did the Sandbox become a day-care center for WWE Superstars?"
"Have you not heard the fights Seth and Sasha have been having lately? They needed to get out of this house, I barely slept last night," Amy Michaels said and Hunter furrowed his brow at the WWE Legend.
"Since when do you sleep at night? You and Shawn are always doing it late into the morning," Hunter said and the DX children blushed.
"Ew yuck Dad, tmi!" Aurora Helmsley said scrunching up her nose in disgust.
"Yeah Uncle Hunter, that was way too much information," Cheyenne Michelle Calloway said and Hunter rolled his eyes at Shawn's eldest daughter.
"Okay Chey, your parents don't have sex, in fact, they still sleep in separate beds like you and Garrett," Hunter teased Cheyenne referring to her husband and Cheyenne blushed even harder.
LC, Cameron and Carla looked at Cheyenne wondering why she was blushing so hard. Hayworth and MacKenzie resisted the urge to poke the proverbial bear but Hunter decided to run it over with a pickup truck.
"You and Garrett are having sex aren't you?" Hunter asked his God daughter and the Helmsley Girls laughed while LC and Cameron waited for the Girl with Phenomenal Strength to answer the question.
"So, you finally pushed the beds together," Lisa said to her sister-in-law as Cheyenne hid her face behind her hair.
"I'm proud of you sis, you finally got over your honeymoon trauma," Cameron said to his sister.
"Can we please change the subject? Yes Garrett and I have made progress in that area of our marriage but this is the family room and this is not a PG conversation," Cheyenne said nodding towards Faith Star and Abiyah who were playing hide and seek on the other side of the room.
"Good point Chey. I'll call Seth and Sasha and tell them to come get their kid so we can talk about this some more," Hunter said pulling out his cell-phone, "Damn kids spoil everything,"
"Give me that," Shawn said pulling Hunter's cell-phone out of his hand. "Chey's right, let's change the subject. Seth and Sasha need time to heal, they came face-to-face with yet another Bayley attack, give them a break,"
"I am giving them a break, they've been living here rent free for three months!" Hunter exclaimed.
"We're all living here rent free, the Sandbox is paid for," Chyna said.
"Well, I'm making an exception for those two. All that noise over a stupid necklace, I should kick them out on their rock-hard butts," Hunter said.
"Why are you looking at their butts?" Montez Ford asked Hunter while Bianca shook her head at Hunter's degenerate way of thinking.
"Where am I supposed to look 'Tez, at their faces? Go back to Brooklyn you pervert," Hunter replied and Montez looked at HBK confused.
"Brooklyn?" Tez said scratching his head.
"He thinks you're JTG from Cryme Tyme," Shawn explained.
"That is so racist Shawn!" Hunter protested. "I said he was a pervert, his ethnicity has nothing to do with that,"
"I'm getting an ice cream headache," Amy said holding her head as Hunter continued to spiral into further annuals of stupidity.
"How have you guys lived together for so long?" Becky asked Shawn and Amy.
"I moved out before I even enrolled at Harvard. I thought if I stayed here one second longer my brain would melt out through my ears," Hayworth said.
"Speaking of things that melt, how is your sex life Hayworth? Is Mac all she's built up to be in the bedroom?" Hunter said and his son looked at him appalled.
"What part of change the subject do you not understand?" Shawn said to Hunter.
"Well excuse me for wanting to know about our children's sex lives! Am I the only one who cares whether or not our children are getting laid on a regular basis?!" Hunter said and Becky fell against Bianca laughing.
"Wow," Montez Ford said as everyone shook their heads at Hunter's inappropriate behaviour.
"When are those loud mouth jerks getting back here? I need to find out where I can put them on this year's Wrestlemania card," Hunter said and everyone gave a sigh of relief that the subject had finally been changed.
"If you're talking about Seth and Sasha, they should be back later on tonight," Bianca said as Becky did her hair for her, tightening her braid so that the DX jewels were locked into it tightly.
"I better get rid of this necklace before they get back," Becky said and everyone noticed the sapphire necklace around the Man's neck.
The DX family zoned in on the necklace examining it in every way, "It's beautiful, Sasha has great taste," Carla McCool said.
"It's a setup, Bayley's using it to get Seth and Sasha to break up," Bianca said.
"Then why are you wearing it around your neck?" Hayworth asked Becky.
"Because I'm tired of holding it in my bra," Becky replied. "It's freakin' heavy. I'm going to return it in a few minutes,"
Carla came over to Becky to get a better look at the necklace, "I wonder how much it's worth," she said. "You know my Dad knows a lot about exquisite jewellery, can I ask him to appraise it? Maybe you can exchange it instead of returning it?"
"No, we are returning it. This thing is dangerous, did you not hear what I said?" Bianca said as Becky tightened her Braid.
"Where did Sasha get it from?" Shawn asked Bianca.
"A jeweller in New York City," she replied and Carla's face brightened.
"I know which one, you gotta let me get it appraised. This thing could be worth a fortune!" Carla said excitedly and Bianca looked at the other Helmsley Girls strangely.
"Is she not hearing me? Who cares how much it is worth, it needs to get away from everyone here. It is cursed Carla," Bianca said.
"I apologise for my sister, she's obsessed with money. Her Dad is a stock broker on Wall Street," Lisa Michaels explained. "She thinks that money is everything,"
"That's super nuts. We're taking the necklace back. The further it is from the DX family the better it'll be for everybody," Bianca said and Carla scrunched up her face in disagreement with the God girls and her sister Lisa.
"I think you guys are making a mistake by not getting that necklace appraised," Carla said as Becky finished styling Bianca's hair.
"All done," she said proudly.
"Let's go," Bianca said and Becky got to her feet with the Fords. "We're off to New York to return this necklace. We'll be back for dinner,"
Hunter looked at Bianca affronted and Chyna, Amy and Shawn Michaels questioned the way he was looking at her.
"What's with you?" Shawn asked Hunter.
"Who said I was making dinner?" Hunter replied. "This is not a hotel Bianca and I am not your hired help,"
"What are you talking about, all you do is cook? You eat around the clock, what do you expect our guest to do, bring their own food?" Amy said.
"No, I expect them to show me a little more love. I am running WWE now, why do I feel like I'm running a youth hostel? Bianca, I would appreciate it if you and your husband would sign in when you come and go from now on so I know where you are at all times," Hunter said.
"Let's get out of here," Becky said firing up her flying arm and they left leaving Hunter feeling like the most unimportant member of the DX family.
"Those kids have got a reality check coming if they think they can come and go like this and still get on the Wrestlemania card this year," Hunter said.
"You're the worst Dad ever," Hayworth said to his father and MacKenzie smiled at Hunter.
"I think he's pretty cool," MacKenzie said and Hunter turned up his nose at her in disgust.
"Suck up," he said before heading to the kitchen to see what he could make for dinner.
"What's with him?" Remi Michelle asked Shawn.
"He's hungover, let's go to the kitchen before he accidentally cooks something that isn't dead," Shawn replied and he and Amy followed Hunter into the kitchen leaving the DX children to talk amongst themselves.
"Now that the Bonehead is out of the room, let's talk about Seth and Sasha. Did anyone else think that this thing with Bayley would still be going on, it's been over a year now?" Aurora Helmsley asked.
"There's a reason they've been living here, we need to pray for them, they're going to need our help," Lisa said. "Our daughter's already helping them, you guys need to do your part too,"
"Well at least they stopped fighting. I'm sure it tears at God's heart when married people talk to each other so roughly," Cameron said.
"It's not them, it's the spirit working against them through Bayley. That's why we need to pray for them," Lisa said and Remi Michelle suddenly gasped and held her stomach.
"Remi, what's wrong?" Cheyenne said to her baby sister and the DX family jumped back as something broke out of Remi Michelle. It looked like a clear bag of water.
"My water just broke!" Remi Michelle said. "I'm having my baby!"
"In the DX family room?!" Carla McCool said.
"Get Daddy!" Remi said to RJ her husband and Trish and Randy's son ran into the kitchen to tell Shawn, Amy and Hunter that their grand-daughter was about to be born.
"What is that on my carpet?!" Hunter cried coming back into the family room with his chef's hat on. "Is that an amniotic sac?!"
"Yes, I'm having a baby!" Remi said breathing heavily and Hunter threw his chef's hat on the floor.
"Well I'm not feeding her so get your butt off my carpet and get to the nearest hospital and ask them to feed your newborn child," Hunter said and Lisa and Aurora hit their father over the head as Shawn and Amy escorted Remi out of the Sandbox and into the DX Machine.
"Dad quit being such a Bonehead!" Hayworth said offended.
"I'm kidding! Loosen up Hayworth, you'll be expecting a child this time next year," Hunter said and now it was MacKenzie's time to blush.
"Another Helmsley?" Cheyenne said as they headed into the other DX Machine with the rest of the DX family. "You're going to need a lot of prayer Mac,"
MacKenzie nodded, "Thank God I've got Seth," she said thankfully, even though so knew it wouldn't be for much longer.