"Our next movie is McBain...a shoot-em up, splatter-fest from the Hollywood cookie cutter. Here's a brainless scene..."
A Square with a freezed image from the top right corner came down. The sides were made of an animation of a grey film reel
the scene begins playing a green animated of a roll of film appears on the left corner of the screen and rolls out. the word "McBAIN" appears on the reel in yellow letters.
The Police Chief passed around McBain
POLICE CHIEF: Senator Mendoza is a respected citizen. Yet you ran his limo off a cliff and drove a bus through his front door!
MCBAIN: I have proof that he's head of a drug cartel!
POLICE CHIEF: I don't want to hear it McBain!
McBain turned away from him.
POLICE CHIEF: You're out of here!"
McBain clenched his teeth in and and then turned, punching the police Chief, who fell out the window,Screaming before landing in a pool. McBain stood there menacingly looking down.
MCBAIN: That makes two of us.
The Clip ends.
-Yakkin at the Movies,
Rainier Wolfcastle is an Austrian actor. His Dad was a nazi, though he actually really regretted following that crows. Rainier spoke about it in that video after the attack on the Capitol. Wolfcastle himself wasn't perfect. He was a bit anti-semetic, being the son of a Nazi would do that to you but he hid it well. Anyway he got into acting young, appearing in there commercials for Fritz Schackenpfefferhausen bratwurst. Then he got into body building, apparently he picked up a magazine on some british actor who had been a body builder and then went onto play Hercules and decided "Yeah I'm gonna do that", so he got to it but the first acting roles he got were in Gay Pornos. He's not actually gay himself. He's actually pretty Homophobic, but he was really committed to being an actor so he just took it, and probably gave it. He also did some Ads for "Powersause Bars" which was shut down quickly. Turns out there were just apple cores and Newspapers. His big break came when someone was making a documentary about weightlifting called Pumping Iron(1977). He was the star. The film was a hit in America and he decided his fortune was there. Some Producer told him no one could pronounce his last name so he changed it to Rainier Wolfcastle. His big break came when he starred in Conan the Barbarian(1982). Since then he appeared in The Terminator(1984),Commando(1985), Predator and Running Man(1987) and then was catapulted to even bigger stardom as undisputed Action Movie King when he agreed to star in a little number called Die Hard(1988). Word is it was his idea to change the character's name to "McBain" because it was easier for him to say in his accent. Gotta have the star be able to say his own name. Which brings us now to McBain. The Sequel film to Die Hard...
-Article from the First Issue of Entertainment Weekly, interview with Rainier Wolfcastle, star of the new film McBain.
"No Siree. McBain is not for kids. I'd say take the kiddies to see The Neverending Story II but that'll scar them for life for different reasons. Personally I preferred Wolfcastle's other release this year Total Explosion about him going to Mars and fake memories. Easiest the deepest film he's ever been in."
-Jay Sherman, host of Coming Attractions.
"
McBain a Police Officer, discovers evidence that the much beloved Senator Mendoza is running a drug cartel. McBain breaks into a limousine to get information from one of his men and a chase ensues, concluding with the Limousine and the man McBain hoped to interrogate being driven off a cliff. McBain then crashes a bus through Mendoza's front door and attempts to murder him, killing three of his bodyguards by snapping there necks. This fails when the police arrive. He is brought the Police Chief, who fires him, causing McBain to punch him out of a window. McBain meets with his partner, Dexter Scoey, played by Danny Glover, at Sloppy Joe's diner, where a hitman tries to kill McBain but Scoey takes the bullet for him, resulting in a shoot out. This Makes McBain vow to kill Mendoza. This is considered to be the best part of the movie.
McBain meets Scoey's widow at his funeral and the two begin to fall in love. McBain ends up saving the life of an FBI agent looking into Mendoza and he gets his job back. The Police Chief attempts to sabotage his efforts to giving him a small regulated gun but he takes a much bigger gun. When told the gun is against regulations and goes against the book. he shoots the Police Manual. McBain ambushes Mendoza during a meeting by bursting out of an ice sculpture. He kills everyone except Mendoza who manages to poison him. McBain escapes Mendoza's men which he requests kill the now unconscious McBain. Mendoza then hired a hitman to kill McBain but he survives. Scoey's wife helps him and McBain invades Mendoza's headquarters at the top of a skyscraper, interrupting a meeting and hurls Mendoza out of a window onto a gas truck, which explodes, killing him. McBain then begin to have sex with , the two having fallen in love during the course of the film.
Behind the Scenes
Danny Glover was cast in the film due to the Film's Director, Richard Donner, originally promising him a role in a cancelled film script by Future Director Shane Black called Lethal Weapon.
Online Film Summary
"When did I fall in love with Homer? Well we were High School seniors in 1974. Homer had gotten held back. I was a bookworm but I got sent to Detention for setting a bra on fire during a feminist rally. Homer and his friend Barney were sent to detention for smoking. Homer fell in love with me first and he joined the debate team. There was another boy, Artie Ziff. Homer asked me to tutor him in French. I don't know if he remembers any of it. After Bart came back from France he tried to relearn it because he though Bart was insulting him behind his back. Which he was. Anyway our study session kept me up all night and I lost a debate to Artie the next day and he asked me to go the prom. I said yes. We were crowned Prom King and Prom Queen and had our first dance, but I began to feel sorry for Homer, he was clearly heartbroken. Then Artie tried to rape me. I got him to stop and he did. He took me home. I saw Homer walking home in the rain. I went back in my car to pick him up. He fixed my dress and that's really where we began to fall in love. Patty and Selma always dislike Homer. They brought up the idea of me seeing Artie Ziff again but after I told them about how he tried to rape me, well they immediately shut up about that."
-Testimony of Marge Simpson during Marriage counseling.
"Dad got a cable hook up. I knew something was off because I was sure Dad had stolen it. I was worried about how it violated the 8th Commandment, "though Shall not Steal," and really thought he'd go to hell when he died. I went to Reverend Lovejoy. He told me not to tell since the 5th Commandment stated "honor thy father and thy mother" and instead said I shouldn't watch cable TV. Mom wanted Dad to cut off the cable but he wouldn't. Then the same guy who offered him the cable offered him a stolen car stereo and broke into the Flanders house. Dad was afraid his house would be broken into. Bart paid the neighborhood kids to watch the Porn Channel until Dad caught him. Dad invited a bunch of work and bar buddies to watch Tatum vs Watson in the "Bout to Knock the Other Guy Out". Tatum ended up winning. He was a 1984 Olympic Gold Boxing medalist after all but that battle saw him become world champion. Homer eventually did agree the cable should be cut. He didn't do it himself. He was still wheelchair bound at this time. So we had to remove the cable without letting someone know. Flanders agreed to do it."
-Moaning Lisa: The autobiography of President Lisa Simpson.
Selma wanted mom to help her find a boyfriend. I got caught spelling my name on the school's lawn with herbicide and well mom got called to the office since Dad couldn't go anywhere at the moment. Skinner was single and well Mom introduced him to Selma. They hit it off really well. Lovestruck Skinner let us get away with a lot more. He even asked me to help woo my Aunt to marry him. Skinner wrote "Marry Me Selma" on the school's lawn and proposed to her at the school's bell tower. She said yes.
-Do the Bart Man: The unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson
Grampa had a heart attack. he and a friend went to see McBain and well he thought it was garbage so he tried to argue with the guy in the booth and had a heart attack. He was fine but in the Hospital he talked with Dad. turns out Dad has a half-brother from before Grampa met Gramma with a prostitute. He was adopted by the Powell family. His name was Herbert. He looked a lot like home except taller, skinnier and with nice hair. He owned Powell Motors, a big car company in Detroit.
-Do the Bart Man: The unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson
"Persephone?! What the Hell kind of car name is Persephone?! People don't want cars named after hungry old Greek broads! They want names like 'Mustang' and 'Cheetah', vicious animal names,"
-Herbert Powell overheard during a meeting.
"We loved it in Herb's mansion. Herb was happy to find family. though when he saw Homer he assumed that Homer had put on weight and lost his hair due to the same accident that put him in the Wheelchair. Homer tried to force himself up with crutches to hug Herb. Shouting "Oh Brother! I can walk!". He got claps from the small audience and Herb praised him, but he then sat back down in obvious pain. Herb gave Homer a test to see him design a new car since he needed the input of an average American. He dismissed warnings until he was presented with a rough blueprint of just what Homer had pitched. His always constant smile dropped. He immediately pulled Homer out of the project. The Pope was there for the unveiling of the new car. Evidently it was for him. Herb had been trusted with the creation of a new Pope Mobile. of course they didn't tell Homer that. The Pope's appearance was kept a secret but it was an honor to meet him. Herb also donated lots of money to aid in Dad's recovery, promising him he would walk again even if he went bankrupt, which he almost did."
-Do the Bart Man: The unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson
"Santa's Little Helper tore up an old family patchwork quilt. Mom wanted to get rid of him for that but we wanted to keep him. Lisa and had been taking him to an obedience school run by Emily Winthrop. Now he was usually a good boy, after all he'd been trained before we got him so we were able to improve his behavior and Lisa repaired the quilt. I didn't think anything else about it...In hindsight I wish I did bother teaching him to behave. It cost me 100 dollars."
-Do the Bart Man: The unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson
"Grampa had fallen in love with a woman at the Springfield Retirement Castle named Beatrice Simmons. Dad wanted to invite him to a Lion safari paid for by Herb but he refused mostly because Dad himself wasn't going as he was still recovering. Grampa ended up being with Beatrice when she died of a burst ventricle. He was really broken up about it at her funeral. She didn't have any living relatives and so Grampa got 106,000 dollars from her estate. He wanted to spend it on himself but then he thought he saw her ghost and decided to give it to people in need but turned that down both because people kept asking for money when they didn't need it and when he realized he couldn't solve the city's problems. he started gambling hoping to get the money back. He did well at first but also lost a lot of money and put an end to that. He then decided he would save the money for when it was needed, but he did begin helping out the residents of the Retirement Castle to give them better care."
-Do the Bart Man: The unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson
"Dad was shocked to learn he weighed 260 pounds and vowed to lose weight during his exercise regime. He lost 21 pounds, dropping to 239 while still recovering. Herb event found out about the stuff he'd been taking for his hair and well Dad got his hair back. It was now harder to tell him apart from Uncle Herb. Meanwhile Bart and I pressured mom into taking us to this new waterpark called Mount Splashmore. she finally took us. A few days later she received an unexpected gift. It was a painting she had made of Ringo Starr in High School. She sent it to him but it turns out it was lost in the mail. He sent it back and had nothing but praise to give. Marge began painting again, starting at the Springfield Community College. She proudly displayed her Ringo Starr portrait. Then Burns got involved. Now Burns always supported the arts and seemed to have a twisted sense of humor since he commissioned a painting of himself in a recreation of Saturn eating his own son while he and the artist were drunk, which he proudly displayed. Now he hated us. This was no secret. He laughed when Dad was crippled as he believed it meant he had suffered enough but Mom on the other hand. He had not forgotten the incident with the Fish and that mom was the head of SNUH. Still her sudden fame as a painter made him choose her, apparently as an olive branch since she had conceited the 500,000 dollars instead of fully suing. Mom caught naked once and that is what she displayed. It only angered Burns further."
-Moaning Lisa: The autobiography of President Lisa Simpson.
" Miss Hoover was sick with Lyme disease and we got a substitute teacher named . He was great. He came to school dressed as a cowboy and quizzed the class about what was wrong with his costume. I got them all right, well all except that he was wearing a digital watch. He gave my a cowboy hat. I sort of hat a crush on him. I found out that he was gone one day. He had a new job in Capital City. I met him at the train station. I thought I'd be lost without him. told me that substitute teacher is transient and he needed to help other people. He left me a small piece of paper and told me that whenever I felt alone what was written there was all I needed to know. After he left I looked at it. It only had four words: "You are Lisa Simpson""
-Moaning Lisa: The autobiography of President Lisa Simpson.
"I ran for Class President of my 5th grade class. I was nominated by Sherri and Terri. I won the class over. I admit had Martin been there I would have lost. Had Lisa not been distracted by her crush I would have lost, she wasn't in my class. Everyone voted for me. So yeah. I was President now. No one boy should have all that power."
-Do the Bart Man: The unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson.
" Homer had recovered enough that we took him to Catfish Lake. He intended to fish. he learned about a legendary Catfish called General Sherman. Homer didn't catch it. Not really. He found an abandoned fishing line and just picked it up. Turns out General Sherman was on the line. He hauled it on his boat. So Homer became famous for catching Sherman and a legend among fishing circles. Not that he earned it."
-Marge in testimony during Marriage Counseling.
"Grampa babysit us. We tricked him into letting us throw a party. When it ended the house was a mess. Grampa started crying and we cleaned the house up because we didn't want him to get in trouble. When mom and Dad came home the house was spotless and Grampa said his secret was pretending to cry. Cheeky bastard. Turns out i underestimated him. He outpranked me. You gotta respect the Hustle."
-Do the Bart Man: The unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson.
"I went to Comic Con dressed as my alter ego Bartman, of course it was really parts of a crude Batman costume but one of the things I saw was a $100 dollar First issue of Radioactive Man."
-Do the Bart Man: The unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson.
Radioactive Man is a comic book superhero. He first appeared in Interesting Stories #27 as one of three heroes(a second being his sidekick Fall Out Boy), that was attempted to defeat the villain known as the Communist Bloc which the three eventually worked together to defeat, leading them to form the Superhero team known as the Superior Squad. His own series followed with Radioactive Man #1. Which revealed his origin. His true identity is Claude Kane III, a billionaire playboy who was well intentioned but not very bright. As time marched on he as depicted as being perpetually stuck in the 1950's mindset. Claude got his trousers caught on barbed wire before escaping a mega-bomb testing and it exploded. A large thunderbolt shaped chunk of metal was attached to his head and evidently could not be removed or risk death. He gained a powerless sidekick named Fallout Boy. Radioactive Man's creation was meant to counter the decline of the super hero genre. As after the 40's Superheroes were falling out of popularity but a cold war themed Superhero was believed to be a potential solution. It worked. Radioactive Man's main nemesis was , a human scientist with a german accent that was later mutated into a humanoid crab monster. There was also , a clown themed mad scientist, and Silly Sailor.
Radioactive Man quickly appeared in a black and white serial along with his sidekick Fallout Boy. The Serial was sponsored by Laramie Cigarettes which the two actors were shown smoking. Radioactive Man was played by actor Dirk Richter and Buddy Hodges as Fallout Boy. Richter was born in 1922. Richter's death is shrouded in mystery and conspiracy but he was found shot to death in a bordello in 1968. He was a known womanizer and this may have gotten him killed, however Buddy Hodges was gay and may have had a relationship with Richter. An urban legend was spread that Hodges died fighting in the Vietnam War. This is false. he signed up but saw very little actual combat. A 70's TV Show with a campy style was made in 1973, lasting until 1975, featuring flamboyant villains such as the Scoutmaster. Herschel Krustofsky(Krusty the Clown) played a villain on the show. In the 80's three films were made starring Troy McClure, Radioactive Man(1980), Radioactive Man II: Bring on the Sequel(1983) and Radioactive Man III: The Final Chapter(1987). In the Comics in order to garner excitement for the film, the property was given to Alan Moore. Claude Kane III began off as a Jazz Critic and heroin addict when he by accident recalls he is Radioactive Man. Apparently his backstory was entirely fictional as was actually the scientist who created him as a government experiment. Fall Out Boy is given superpowers after also remembering his past and became a sociopath, forcing Radioactive Man to depower him and then kill him as Fall Out Boy cries in his arms. Radioactive Man then set about forming a Utopia on Earth. Neil Gaiman was intended to follow up on this but rights issues at the time prevented this. Radioactive Man was a Charlton Comics character and they had just been bought out by DC Comics. Moore was prevented from using Radioactive Man and other Charlton characters in the iconic Watchmen graphic novel. Leading him to create his own characters. Rumors persist that a Film reboot is coming in 1995.
-Everything you need to know About Radioactive Man in a single long paragraph from when you need things
"Milhouse and I saved enough money to buy the comic but neither of us wanted to let it go so we hid it in our treehouse. We got paranoid, then we got into a fight. The Comic fell to the ground and Santa's little Helper shredded it. I guess I never did get him to stop tearing things up.
"At last the World is Safe...But for How Long?"
-Radioactive Man, Last panel of Radioactive Man #1.
" fell ill. Hypohemia...Sorry mispelled that. Lisa says it's spelled Hypovolemia. He needed more blood basically. He had a rare blood type which means he needed Double O Negative. Turns out I was. I didn't want to. I'm still sure Burns tried to kill me. How ironic would that have been? He killed me and then he died because he'd killed one of the few people that could save him. I didn't get a reward like Dad thought I would and he got pissed. He wrote an angry letter. According to Smithers, Burns was Furious and would have sent an assassin after Dad but Smithers talked him out of it, thank god, an assassin could have killed Dad but also Uncle Herb since they look so much alike. Of course Burns sent assassins after us later but we were lucky it wasn't this time. In the end Burns sent us an Olmec head. I don't even know what an Olmec is but it became a permanent resident of our living room. In hindsight I realize Burns probably wanted to give us a gift we couldn't use. Just one that would be a hassle but still seem like a generous gift. I once asked Burns if I could get anything else. He said my reward if that I was a crane who stuck his beak in a wolf's mouth to rescue him from choking on a bone and his reward to me was that the Wolf didn't bit his head off. I didn't get it. Lisa says it was an "a sop"...or something like that. Burns gave me a copy of his book Will There Ever Be a Rainbow? and laughed a bit. He admitted that he hated my whole family and casually mentioned that he decided he did like me and that he would kill me last."
-Do the Bart Man: The unauthorized biography of Bart Simpson.