Skinner opened the doors to the school. He was alone but liked to go back there. He breathed in and immediately regretted that he did. There was this foul smell in the air, coming from one of the class rooms. He entered one and recoiled in shock. Putting a handkerchief to his nose, he stepped back in and so the cause. Super Dude, the 4th grade gerbil had been crushed by his own water bottle. Skinner took it and chose to bury it in the boiler room. On days like this he missed Groundskeeper Willie. He hit the ground and a black substance began to appear. Then there was a massive burst, knocking Skinner off his feet and shooting upwards.

Above. Ralph raised his hand.

"Miss Hoover the floor is shaking."

She rolled her eyes.

"Ralph. Remember the time you thought the.."

A burst of oil shot Ralph into the air. As if the poor kid hadn't suffered enough.

Why is it when I heard the word "School" and the word "Exploded" I immediately thought of the word: Skinner!

Skinner nervously fished for a response to Chalmers's question.

A worker poked his head out.

"Congratulations Sir, you've struck oil. You're looking at the richest elementary school in the State."

Skinners and Chalmers looked at each other with faint smiles.

"We also found this."

He held up a dead gerbil soaked in oil. Skinner nervously mumbled to himself.

"Thank you Superdude."

"AWFUL SCHOOL IS AWFUL RICH."
-Springfield Shopper

Burns shuddered.

"A non profit organization with oil. I won't allow it."

Chalmers puffed a big cigar. Skinner held the paper.

"Superintendent. We made the front page today."

He turned the paper around but hid the first word, making it read "SCHOOL IS AWFUL RICH."

"What's that say under your hand there?"

"Hmm?"

Skinner acted as if he'd just seen the paper.

"It's an unrelated article."

"It's an unrelated article?"

Skinner nodded.

"Within the banner headline?"

"Yes."

Skinner put the newspaper away. Chalmers knew just to role with the punches when it came to Skinner's antics. That was the best way to deal with the absurdity of Springfield. Any sane man would be driven to suicide.

"Now to redirect our conversation slightly. I had a few ideas on how to spend this oil money. "

"We could give each student a full college scholarship."

Skinner and Chalmers both looked at each other for a moment of silence and then burst out laughing.

Skinner composed himself first.

"I believe the students and faculty have a few suggestions."

Name: Doris Freedman

Request: The Cafeteria staff is complaining about the mice in the kitchen. I want to hire a new staff.

APPROVED.

Name: Lisa Simpson

Request: I'd like to start a jazz program for the music department. I've got a really great instructor lined up

Lisa opened the door. Skinner and Chalmers were surprised.

"Tito Puente!"

"He's ready to give up the Drudgery of the Professional mambo circuit and settle into a nice Teaching job."

"Man. It would be my pleasure. Lisa has told me that all your students are as bright and dedicated to jazz as she is."

Lisa chuckled a bit while looking around nervously. In reality it was only a few students, mostly her and Allison. Still she wanted this. It would have been great for her to have another musician she could be friends with since Murphy's recent passing, which had hurt both her and Allison.

APPROVED.

NAME: Ralph Wiggum

Request: Chocolate Microscopes.

APPROVED(Skinner paid out of his own pocket to have a Chocolate microscope made from a place that specialized in making anything shaped chocolate.

Name: Otto Mann

Request: Double Guitars

APPROVED

Name: Principal Seymour Skinner

Request: More Rubber Stamps

APPROVED

" I want that oil well! I've got a monopoly to maintain. I own the electric company and the Water works. Plus the Hotel on Baltic Avenue."

"That hotel's a dump, and you're monopoly's pathetic. The School's oil well is not for sale. Particularly to a blackhearted scoundrel like yourself."

-Conversation between Charles Montgomery Burns and Principal Seymour Skinner.

"Sir…What I am about to say violates every sycophantic urge in my body, but I wish you would reconsider. This isn't a rival company you're battling with: it's a school. People won't stand for it."

"Pish posh, it will be like taking candy from a baby."

A thought seemed to cross his mind. As he looked to a child with a candy cane.

"Say, that sounds like a larf. Let's try it right now."

-Conversation between Smithers and Burns.

Smithers held up the photo. Burns was eating chocolates as he did so.

"Again."

Burns's Alzheimer's was acting up again and his revenge wouldn't be worth anything if he couldn't remember his enemies. Smithers held up the photo of the Simpsons and pointed to the baby.

"That's Maggie Simpson. She found my teddy bear BooBoo. She's off limits...I think"

Smithers pointed to the dog.

"Simpson Mutt. The one I tried brainwashing and making a suit out of his puppies."

Smithers pointed to the boy.

"Bart Simpson. I hit him with my car. He gave me a blood transfusion. I was going to make him my heir for a brief period you know."

"Yes, Sir I remember."

Burns Breezed passed the mother and the daughter but then settled on the father.

"Umm...that's ummm...that's ummm..."

He couldn't remember his name.

Smithers chose to says nothing and quickly put the photo away.

"We're done for today. Why don't you take a rest."

"Today Springfield Elementary embarks on a new Era. An Era of unbridled spending where Petrol Dollars will fuel our wildest educational fantasies. These young minds will enjoy every educational advantage..."

Skinner chuckled to himself.

"Till they enter Springfield High School. Which has no oil well."

One hand was raised.

"We've got an air hockey table."

"Now to switch on our oil pump for the very first time. Here's our top student. Lisa Simpson."

There were cheers. The loudest was clearly from Ralph. Lisa went up and pulled the switch. It sparked. Everyone looked on and gasped as the oil well began to shake.

A single drop emerged and plopped to the ground. A man ran out to them.

"There's no pressure! Someone else has this well!"

Tito Puente let out an "Ay Caramba!"

Burns stood at his own oil well. Smithers was standing with his arms crossed and an angry expression. Burns couldn't be happier.

"Ah soon that mighty apparatus will burst forth with its precious fluid. Almost sexual isn't it? Smithers?"

Smithers shrugged. The ground began to shake.

"OIL HO!"

The Oil burst out into the sky. Seen by the people at Springfield Elementary. Looks of anger came across their faces.

"I'm afraid we've got no legal recourse against Mr. Burns and his slant-drilling operation. The oil belongs to whoever pumped it first."

"What about all the expensive stuff we wanted? Can we still have it?"

"No! In fact, to pay for the construction and operation AND demolition of our new derrick, the school will have to eliminate all non-essential programs: music and maintenance.

Tito Puente punched through his drum in anger.

-Conversation between Skinner and teachers.

Bart found himself in a nightmare. He was on the floor, looking up to see Willie standing over him with a rake. The rake was swung. Bart narrowly avoided it but it had cut him across the stomach, leaving what looked like claw marks. He looked up to see Willie about to strike again.

"Willie wait!"

"You killed me you little brat!"

"Nu….No I didn't. Dad Did!"

"Aye, but I can't getta him. The Stonecutters put some kinda protection on Im. So I'll havta take it out on you!"

"You know about the Stonecutters?"

"I was a member meself when I was alive."

"Wait! There was someone else responsible for your death."

"I'm listenin"

"The Overlook thing was a plan from to kill us. He knew Dad would go crazy. Instead you got killed."

"Ah so it was Burns's fault then."

"Ye…Yeah! It was Burns!"

"Well than I'M GONNA KILL THAT !"

"But you're dead."

Willie leaned inward.

"An ya think Death will stop me?"

He vanished in a puff of smoke. Bart woke up screaming.

"It was just a dream."

He looked down to see his shirt had been torn with three straight cuts, like Clawmarks. A chill went up his spine.

Burns was back to being rich. It shocked everyone. The Government wasn't doing a damn thing. Dad tried to get the Stonecutters to do something. Anything. And believe me they wanted to, but Burns had gotten himself Government immunity. He'd bought back the power plant with the oil, Government aid and Gold Bars, evidently from a relative in Argentina. Dad had renamed it the Mindy Simmons Memorial Power Plant when he had taken custody in her memory, possibly at Burns's hand. Burns had that name change removed. Dad went over to the power plant and entered his old office for what was expected to be the last time. He missed it in a strange way. So many years spent there. He looked over and so the Words "DON'T FORGET YOU'RE HERE FOREVER." Seeing those words was bad enough but what horrified Dad was that Maggie's baby pictures were now gone. All her baby pictures had been there. Now they weren't. He looked around as if there was a clue they were there somewhere and then he began to panic.

"The Simpsons have ruined me long enough! I want them all dead! Do you hear me Smithers! Dead! I want that baby's neck snapped in its cradle! I want Marge's car in a river with her in it. I want the kid's school blown up while class is in session!"

" you can't..."

Burns glared at him.

"While class is in session."

Smithers backed down from his thought.

That was when Homer burst through the door. Homer glared at Burns and Smithers, who were more confused than anything. His eyes then drifted to the Fireplace and he ran to it. That's when he saw several photographs burned black. The last picture of Baby Maggie burning away, becoming engulfed in fire and folding into itself. Homer reached into the fire, fighting through the pain to save just one. What he pulled out didn't last long. Tears fell down his face and he fell to his knees.

"What is this? Who are you?"

Homer turned to face him slowly. Tears in his eyes, which were filling with rage.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!.."

Homer lunged at Burns and wrapped his arms around his throat. Burns screamed. Smithers did nothing as two security guards pried Homer off of Burns and dragged him away. Burns clutched his throat in pain. As he was dragged away, Homer continued to shout.

" Oh, you're dead! YOU'RE DEAD, BURNS!"

"Who was that man, Smithers?"

Smithers was about to answer with "Homer Simpson, Sir." but stopped.

"I don't know sir."

"BART SIMPSON TREEHOUSE DESTROYED BY BOMB."

The Treehouse of local boy and cultural icon Bart Simpson was destroyed in an explosion believed to have originated from a homemade Pipe Bomb placed in his treehouse. Bart was near the treehouse when the bomb detonated, evidently earlier than anticipated and barely avoided death. His Dog Santa's Little Helper was heavily injured in the attack.

"As long as Mr. Burns is pumping oil, this bar is closed."

This was another time the EPA man had told them

Moe: Damn Burns! Just let me get one thing.

(Moe pulled out his shotgun and cocked it at the EPA Man.

Barney was there as well. Not to drink, but to check on his old friend Moe when he heard the news. He pulled out a .38 revolver.

Me too!…Ahh ... now there's the inflated sense of self-esteem.

Barney had gotten that feeling without the alcohol.

The Retirement Home had fallen into a sinkhole believed to have been caused by Burns's drilling. Abe Simpson had moved into the Simpsons home.

" Well, get used to it, 'because I'm living here now. I am not going back to the retirement home until they fish my bed out of that sinkhole."

Bart reached into the old Cigar box and pulled out a gun.

" Wow!"

Grampa sat on the couch.

"That's my old Smith and Wesson. If you're gonna play with it, be careful, 'cause it's loaded."

Marge walked in.

"Aah! Bart, put that down! Guns are very dangerous and I won't have them in this house."

She took the gun away.

"But you're a cop!"

"I keep my gun where you can't get it, and I'll do the same to this gun too."

Bart whispered to his Grampa after Marge left.

"I know where she keeps it. It's locked up. I made a copy of the key. How much do you wanna bet she keeps your gun in the same place?"

Smithers watched with his binoculars the devastation. Moe's tavern was demolished to build the oil well. The School was abandoned. The Retirement Home was also being destroyed so that Burns could build over it.A destroyed treehouse. Smithers looked with sadness.

"Well sir you've certainly vanquished all your enemies. The Elementary School. The Old Tavern. The old age home."

Burns was only counting his money, which filled the entire room.

"You must be very proud."

"No not while my greatest enemy still provides our customers with free light, heat and energy."

He walked over to the window.

"I call this enemy...the sun."

Smithers's mouth hung open but he was mostly confused. Burns pressed a button and a display opened up in the floor. Smithers got out of the way as it came up. Above him the roof opened up, letting the sun in.

"Since the beginning of time man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing. "

He pulled out a remote.
"Block it out!"

With the push of a button, a large dome grew rose over the city, sealing it away. Smithers was in shock.

"Good god!"

The Idea was frankly ridiculous.

"Imagine it Smithers. Electrical lights and Heaters. Running all day long."

Smithers didn't even know where to begin to poke holes at this plan.

"But sir every plant and tree will die. Owls will deafen us with incessant hooting. The Town's sun dial will be useless."

He pointed to the Sun Dial on the miniature. He tried to find more to say but reached one conclusion.

"I don't want any part of this project. It's unconscionably... fiendish."

" I will not suffer your insubordination! There has been a shocking decline in the quality and quantity of your toadying, Waylon! And you will fall into line, now!"

Smithers staked nervously. Then found his courage. For the first time in his life. He would resist Burns to his face.

"No! No Monty, I won't! Not until you step back from the brink of insanity!"

"I'll do no such thing! You're fired!"

Smithers was in shock but straightened and turned to leave. He was heartbroken. As soon as he left, Burns opened up the dome again, walked into the town and began to destroy it while laughing evilly.

"Take that, Bowlarama! Take that, convenience mart! Take that, Nuclear Power Plant! "

He realized his mistake.

"Oh, fiddlesticks."

He then spotted the miniature of the Simpsons home. His smile returned and move towards it and crushed it as if stamping out a bug.

Mayor Quimby addressed the people at Town Hall.

"People, take it easy. We're all upset about Mr. Burns' plan to, uh, block out our sun. It is time for decisive action. I have here a polite but firm letter to Mr. Burns' underlings, who with some cajoling, will pass it along to him or at least give him the gist of it."

Smithers patted his gun. A Woman had a gun in her purse. Moe polished his shotgun. Skinner tapped his gun. Barney rubbed his small revolver like a kitten.

The Mayor's aid whispered to him.

"Also it has been brought to my attention that a number of you are stroking guns. Therefore, I will step aside and open up the floor."

Indeed every person there had a weapon of some sort. Smithers stood up. His clothes and smell suggested he was homeless. He was also holding a brown paper bag that likely held alcohol in it. He was crying as he spoke.

"Mr. Burns was the closest thing I ever had to...a friend. But he fired me! And now I spend my days drinking cheap scotch and watching Comedy Central!"

gasped.

"Oh, dear God!"

"Ehh, it's not that bad. I never miss "Pardon My Zinger""

Abe Simpson stood up.

"Because of him, I lost my room, my things and my buddy's collection of old sunbathing magazines."

An old Jewish man looked at Abe.

"You bastard."

Moe spoke up.

"I lost my bar!"

Barney stood up.

"He lost his bar!"

Lenny stood up.

"I lost his bar."

Lisa stood up.

"He robbed the school of music!"

Skinner spoke up.

"He robbed the school of financial security!"

"He robbed the school of Tito!"

Tito Puente had been the one to shout that.

Homer stood up.

"He killed my Brother!...and Mindy!

Marge spoke up.

"He's causing us all to yell!"

Bart stood up.

Look what he did to my best friend!"

Everyone looked at Mulhouse, who was eating Cheeses.

"No, my dog! "

Santa's Little Helper wheeled in. His back legs in a wheelchair and his head in a cone. He would never walk again. Bart kneeled down to him.

"I promise I'll make him pay boy."

There was a sinister laughing. Everyone turned to see Burns standing at the entrance of town hall.

"Those wheels are squeaking a bit. Perhaps I can sell a little oil."

Santa's little Helper growled at him.

"You twisted old monster!"

Bart charged at him. Burns lifted his jacket to reveal a holstered gun. He wagged his finger as Bart stopped in place.

"I've decided to protect myself. Since everyone wants me dead."

Everyone stood up in anger and approached Burns. The Sea Captain.

"Arrgh! Burns your Scurvy Schemes will earn ye a one way passage to the Boneyard."

He gestured by sliding his pipe across his throat, simulating slitting it. Flanders stood up.

"I'd like to hear from Sideshow Mel."

Sideshow Mel stood up.

"I'll see to it suffers the infernal machinations of Hell's grim tyrant."

He drew his switchblade. Otto stood up.

"Yeah!"

Burns put his fingers together.

"Oh you all talk big….But who here…has the guts to stop me?"

Moe looked at him then looked away. So Did Sideshow Mel, then Homer did, Apu did, Marge did, Edna did, Skinner did, Abe did, Tito did, Carl did, Maggie didn't, and Smithers did.

Burns nodded.

"Very well."

Burns turned around and then turned back.

"One last Question?…Have you ever seen the sun set…at 3pm?"

The Sea Captain answered.

"Aye. Once. When I was sailing around the arctic…"

Burns pointed at him.

"Shut up you!."

He pulled out a remote.

"Take one last look at the sun Springfield."

He pushed the button. A giant structure began to rise up, casting a massive shadow over the tone and is grew. Everyone began to panic. Burns began to laugh maniacally. Finally everyone quieted down. Burns kept laughing as he walked away.

Krusty drove up and parked his car in front of everyone.

"Hey, Hey. I've been in Reno for six weeks. Did I miss anything?"

Burns walked out into the street where all the streetlights turned on, following by the lights in the town. Everyone watched him go before parting different ways.

"Ahh. Perpetual twilight. Bathed in the glow of Burns brand Electricity"

He jumped and twirled around a streetlight in imitation of Gene Kelly in Singin' in the Rain.

"Hello Lamppost. What you knowin?'
I've come to watch your power flowin'"

He touched it contently, before leaping off and walking away while humming.

The town Hall was now empty. Carl looked at Smithers's seat.

"That's odd. Mr. Smithers had left his jacket behind."

Burns went down an empty street whistling.

Otto noticed where Skinner had been sitting.

"Whoa, that's odd. Skinner left his mother behind."

Burns, still humming went to passed the town sundial.

Marge had gone to the car and put young Herb in his seat.

"That's odd. Where's Homer? And Bart? And Lisa? And Grampa? And Maggie?"

Burns went down the street humming.

At the Simpsons Home a safe in Marge's room had been opened. A gun was missing and an old Cigar Box reading "Two Stars Cigards" had been opened. Emptied of its contents.

Burns kept walking.

"After all these years, things have finally started to go my way."

He chuckled.

"I feel like Celebrating."

Only his shadow was seen as he stopped before something.

"Oh it's you. What are you so happy about?"

He gasped.

"…I see…I think you better drop it…..I said drop it!"

There was the sounds of a struggle and the sound of a knife entering tender flesh.

"Get…your hands off…"

Marge wandered into the center of the area.

"Where is everybody!"

There was a gunshot.

Burns let out a gasp.

Marge turned to see him stumbling, clearly wounded, and bleeding. He passed Jimbo Jones.

"Hey, man are you okay?"

Burns continued to stumble forward.

"Won't…dignify that…with response. He waled to the Sun dial and muttered one word.

"Excellent."

He then collapsed onto the sundial. His left hand pointing to the S and his right to the W.