It's a bright spring day in Springfield. Bart and Milhouse are enjoying a little patented spitting off the overpass. Something was bothering Bart.

"Milhouse, do you ever think about the people in those cars?"

" I try not to. It makes it harder to spit on 'em."

Bart thought about it. Seeing Lester and Eliza and how they'd helped people without him or his sister being involved made him think.

"I wonder if anything exciting ever happens to the people of Springfield when we're not looking."

TWENTY-TWO SHORT FILMS ABOUT SPRINGFIELD.

1.

The Door Bell rang. Skinner straightened his tie and moved quickly. Selma made plans to not be present at Skinner's insistence. His mother had been moved upstairs. She'd been forced to stay with them after the destruction of the Nursing Home . Out of sight and out of mind. All to make sure that the meal went perfectly. He opened the door and greeted Chalmers.

"Well, Seymour, I made it, despite your directions."

"Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!"

Chalmers let out a "yeah" that sounds more like a weird animal noise.

Skinner returned to the Kitchen and noticed smoke. He ran quickly and opened it. The meal was badly burned. He thought to himself.

"Oh, egads! My roast is ruined! "

He looked around the kitchen for alternatives. His gaze looked out the window to the Krusty Burger across the street. A though occurred to him. He thought to himself.

"But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?"

He laughed at the genius of his own idea.

"Delightfully devilish, Seymour."

He lifted a leg up on the windowsill and prepared to sneak out when Chalmers walked into the door. His eyes narrowed.

"Uuuhhhh."

THEME SONG PLAYS

SKINNER AND THE SUPERINTENDENT

Skinner, with his crazy explanations
Superintendent's gonna need his medication
When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations
There'll be trouble in town tonight!

"Seymmooour!"

" Superintendent! I was just...uh-just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?"

"Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?"

" Uh... ooh! That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm, steamed clams!"

Chalmers turned and left the kitchen. Skinner breathed a sigh of relief. He then climbed out of the window and ran across the street to Krusty Burger. He would sneak back in the same way. Inside the Fluorescent lights flicker. Skinner fells like he's in agony waiting. Every second feels like an eternity. There were two Cops, Lou and Eddie, sitting there talking about McDonalds and Krusty Burger.

Finally he reaches the Greasy faced teen at the counter.

"Next!"

"I'd like four Krusty Burgers to go, please."

"Would you like fries with that?"

"Yes, two large fries please."

Skinner waited. Finally the food was brought over. The name of the order was said.

"Skinner!"

The squeaky voice shouting the name made him wince. It reminded him of why he had come. He moved to grab the order.

"Than you sir. Have a Nice Day."

"You too."

Skinner said back without commitment or sincerity as he rushed out the door.

Skinner emerged with a silver tray carrying Krusty Burgers

"Superintendent, I hope you're ready for some mouthwatering hamburgers."

"I thought we were having steamed clams?"

"Oh no, I said 'steamed hams'. That's what I call hamburgers."

"You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?"

"Yes! It's a regional dialect."

"Uh-huh. Eh, what region?"

"Uh...upstate New York."

"Really? Well I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'."

"Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression."

"I see."

Chalmers began eating. as did Skinner.

"You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger."

"Hohoho, no! Patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe!"

"For steamed hams?"

"Yes."

"Yes, and you call them steamed hams, despite the fact they are obviously grilled."

He showed the grill marks to Skinner.

"Y- Uh.. you know, the"

Skinner noticed something in the kitchen, an orange glow.

"… One thing I should... excuse me for one second."

"Of course."

Skinner ran into the kitchen. Chalmers kept eating. Skinner then returned, yawning.

"Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped."

Chalmers stood up, looking at his watch. Not much time had passed but he'd learn long ago to roll with the oddness.

"Yes, I should be…"

He noticed the glow and the fire.

"—good lord, what is happening in there?!"

Skinner look casually and back to Chalmers.

"Aurora Borealis?"

"Ah- Aurora Borealis!? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen!?"

"Yes."

"…May I see it?"

"…No."

They left the House. A voice was hard upstairs. It was Agnes Skinner

"Seymour! The house is on fire!"

"No, mother, it's just the Northern Lights."

He turned back to Chalmers.

"Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham."

As Chalmers turned and walked away. His hat on his head, he heard.

"Help! Help!"

Chalmers looked back. Skinner gave him a thumbs up and his smile. Chalmers turned and kept walking away. He would call the Fire Department later just to be sure. Once Chalmers was out of sight, he ran back in to save his mother from the fire.