Atsumu slumps onto his bed after his shower, an extensive day of volleyball fulfilling and exhausting him all the same. The setter groans as he stretches, pulling himself into his cool sheets and finally relaxing.
He and the rest of the MSBY Black Jackals had been running drills all day, preparing for the start of the games coming up, as well as the selections and training for the 2020 Olympic team. Back in 2016, he traveled but he didn't get to play. Now, Atsumu had more than proven himself and worked to earn his spot. He'd better see his name on that list.
His bones ache with the effort. He had become a damn good setter, exceeding his high school achievements with ease, but it certainly tuckered him out to demand the best in his team. Not that his spikers need it, but they give 110%, so Atsumu, naturally, works to give 120%.
Ding!
Who's texin' me this late?!
The setter grumbles to himself and gracelessly slinks (like a slug) to the foot of the bed to grab his phone from his bag's exterior pocket. He glares at his noisy phone and the texts on his home screen.
SENDER: Omi-Omi 3
Atsu, I'll pick you up tomorrow from your place at around 5. See you then.
You did great today.
I miss you.
Get lots of sleep, love.
The moderate ire evaporated. Atsumu grins to himself; his sweet, adorable, caring boyfriend texted!
He returns the message:
Nighty night Omi-kun!
I miss ya MORE :D
He re-crawls back up the bed, places his phone on the nightstand, and plugs it into the charger. Atsumu lays back down and, like a high school student that secured their date to the prom in a cheesy coming-of-age movie, he slams his face into his pillow and squeals while excitedly kicking his feet.
He is dating Sakusa Kiyoomi. He i Kiyoomi, the inexplicably cute spiker from the All-Japan youth camp, now turned outside hitter.
How did I get so lucky?!
Omi-Omi joined the MSBY Black Jackals as the MVP from the collegiate league back in 2018, along with Shouyou-kun fresh off two years of beach volleyball training. After which, the team really began flourishing, taking down the Adlers at just the first stop!
Kiyoomi had grown up since high school; he had gotten even more flexible and gained more control and strength. Undoubtedly, he is an impressive player.
But more than that, as Atsumu inevitably became friends with the outside hitter, he realized the presence of a distinct kindness behind the blunt, somewhat withdrawn personality: he checked in with everyone about their plays and conditions-always noticing more than he let on-and he made the effort to come more and more out of his shell. Atsumu grew to look forward to seeing him everyday; they had become great friends in their first year as teammates.
Kiyoomi asked him out in the middle of last year's off-season. Atsumu handled it, err, alright. As well as he could have.
Tomorrow afternoon, they will be meeting to celebrate their 6th month anniversary.
Breathe in.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Atsumu settles into his rumpled sheets, as comfortable as he can be without his Omi-Omi to snuggle him to sleep. He pulls up the oversized comforter and with the memory of their first kiss in mind, he drifts off, peacefully.
The early morning train under the shining sun is filled with business-y adults in suits and ties; meanwhile, Atsumu climbs aboard in his black sweats and oversized grey hoodie with the hood covering his platinum blond hair.
Goooood mornin', world!
He takes a free seat against the wall and gets comfortable; this won't be a quick ride and he really does not want to attract any unwanted attention. The last few times he's ridden on a train, someone managed to recognize him and though Atsumu loves talking to fans, it's like 7 in the morning. Please wait until 8 am at the earliest.
The train comm mumbles something as the doors close. Shortly after, they're off.
By train, it's about an hour and a half ride to Onigiri Miya, the store that Samu has been running for a few years now. He set up shop in their home prefecture of Hyogo and he has plans to expand to Tokyo next year!
The day that the store opened, Atsumu felt such pride and joy for his twin, the genuine smile on his face unyielding under gleaming eyes. Samu gave him grief for it, but the quiver in his lip told Atsumu that he was grateful for the support.
In the years since, the store has blossomed into a popular eatery! The setter stops by the store and home whenever he can, especially to get some of Samu's delicious food. The train ride is a miniature obstacle when handmade onigiri is waiting at the other end.
Today, he made plans with Samu to visit and get some breakfast before his date. Just breakfast. Nothing else.
… Okay, fine, maybe Atsumu wants some advice from his trusty twin.
Since his discovery at 18, Atsumu put in first-hand experience (lol) to get to know himself and what he likes. He learned more about what it means to be demi and on the aspec. He even bought himself a ring with the ace flag's colors on the darkened resin. To the untrained eye, it just looks like a black ring. He wears it now, proudly and subtly, on his middle finger- which also is one way to show aspec pride.
***** (the potentially triggering section is below, skip to the next stars if you don't want to read it)
This ring is the only thing he's tried buying, because the positivity and support that he read don't outweigh the chilling first-hand accounts. People recounted stories of friends, family, and strangers reacting negatively to them or another coming out as on the aspec, their reactions ranging from verbal assaults to corrective rape.
Atsumu felt the cutting horror deep in his stomach. Would anyone around him react that way?
They wouldn't… right?
Reading through the microaggressions was enough to draw nausea. Atsumu saw a tweet from a bi male, stating that "asexuals don't have real problems" and promptly, miserably, stopped reading.
Atsumu knows (and resents) that the idea of "having little to no attraction to anyone or to only very few people" is misconstrued and rarely taken seriously. It's portrayed in the media either as a challenge, something to be worn down, or like an unfulfilled promise, something that will disappear as soon as the "correct" match is made.
Though he doesn't like to think about it, he did spend much of his teenage years thinking there was something wrong with him because he experienced sexual attraction differently.
It took him time to unlearn the behavior and conditioning, and even he isn't perfect with his own identity, so how can he expect everyone else to be experts when there isn't decent representation and information readily available?
So he, with a growing grain of salt, decided that he would give it time for the idea to cement itself, for the identity to grow and gain understanding and support. One day, when it's as common and accepted as hetero feelings, he might start yelling 'demi pride!'
Even though nothin' would make me happier than to do it now.
There is one exception to being hidden and quiet about his identity, because he's never been alone in his life.
Beaming to himself like a doofus on a way-too-early train, he remembers the moment he realized his crush for his outside hitter.
During last year's off-season, shortly before Omi asked him out, Atsumu visited his mom and Samu. Though he was delighted to be home on his vacation, he found himself really missing the team. More than that, he missed Kiyoomi. He wanted to see him, talk with him, joke with him, and play volleyball with him.
He distinctly remembers a dorky dream featuring the spiker on his third night home: they were sitting together on the floor of the court and doing a crossword puzzle. At one difficult word, Kiyoomi began to pout, eyebrows furrowing in thought. Atsumu gently brushed his curls away from his eyes and Omi instinctively leaned into the touch, lips softening.
Atsumu woke up all happy and snuggly until the realization punched him square in the nose:
Do I have a crush?! On Kiyoomi?!
An urgent word with Osamu, who woke up to his twin's panicked pokes ("SAMU, WAKE UP! RED ALERT! SAMUUUU!") confirmed that yes, Atsumu probably has romantic feelings towards Kiyoomi.
Atsumu was frozen still for a moment before suddenly being attacked from all sides with every thought imaginable.
I like someone? How's that possible? That's never happened before! Am I gonna like anyone else? What if this is the only crush I'm ever gonna have? What do I do now? WAIT A MINUTE WHAT IF OMI LIKES ME BACK? ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DATE? I DUNNO HOW TO DATE! WAAAITITTTT WHAT IF HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX AAAASHAHHHHHHHH
"Tsumu, breathe!" Osamu called, piercing through the multi-level panic barreling through his twin's consciousness. He shook the setter's shoulders, snapping him back into his room. Atsumu shook in his arms for a moment, eyes unfocused. He felt confusion and terror welling up.
He made eye contact with his twin; he saw the focus and understanding in his eyes, and he couldn't help but spill everything.
"Samu I, um," he said, weakly, gripping his brother's arms like safety nets, "this doesn't really happen fer me. Likin' people, I mean."
Osamu silently nodded and waited for him to continue.
"I don't think anyone's hot, I've never found anyone that I liked. I dunno why, but it's never happened. Till now… " He took a shuddering breath. "What do I do?"
Samu squeezed Tsumu's shoulder with his hand. "Relax, Tsumu. It's happenin' now. If ya didn't like anyone ever, that'd be a different conversation. Ya have a crush! So what if it took a while? Everyone's different."
Atsumu's jaw clenched. He could feel a far-away sting in his eyes; it took effort to breathe evenly.
Samu continued, "From what ya've told me, he sounds like a good guy. Maybe he likes ya back already and yer just now seeing it."
"I don't… I dunno how to be a boyfriend."
Samu chuckled, warmly. "Tsumu, no one does at first. Not even people who do have those feelin's a lot."
Atsumu gaped at his twin. "Really?"
"Ya know how many times Sunarin and I almost broke up because of a dumb mistake? It took time for us to figure out how to be a couple," he said, a fond smile lighting up his eyes. "Figurin' out how to date is somethin' everyone goes through, if you wanna have a boyfriend, ya and him have to figure out what datin' means to each other. Like, maybe he doesn't wanna go on dates or maybe ya wanna buy him gifts."
"Ya sound like mom when she gave us the talk," Atsumu said, giggling and feeling a bit lighter.
Samu shoved Atsumu, who caught himself and sat up on the lower bunk. He wiped his face with his sleeve.
"Maybe ya don't wanna have sex with him."
Atsumu froze, his hand still rubbing on his chin. His skin splintered, his heart pounded out of panic. He shook as he stared at his brother who looked back, caring and understanding plainly painted his eyes.
"Tsumu, if ya don't want sex, he should accept that. He shouldn't push ya and he shouldn't make ya feel bad for it."
Atsumu felt a storm of tears rush to collect behind his eyes. Samu took his hand in his own.
"H-," Tsumu tried, "how did ya know?" he whispered.
Samu spoke, softly, heartbreakingly, "when we were little, everyone was disgusted by sex. Ya didn't really stop when we grew up. I kinda figured there was somethin' there."
"Somethin' wrong?" Tsumu breathed out, barely giving the traitorous thought life.
Samu frowns and tightens his grip on his hand. "Tsumu, there is nothin' wrong with ya. Nothin' at all. Don't say that about yerself. Ever."
The tears that collected overflowed, spilling over onto his cheeks, choking sobs crashing through his throat. Samu wrapped his arms around his twin, resting his chin on his shoulder. Atsumu buried his nose onto his brother's sleep shirt, staining it with tears and so much relief at receiving validation he didn't know he needed.
After a lot of crying, they got breakfast together. Atsumu stepped more confidently, an incomprehensible weight suddenly a little lighter on his shoulders.
Within the day, Atsumu told him about demisexuality and the aspec, as well as his experiences when they were teens. He left certain parts out (that chair will never see the light of day) but he more-or-less bared himself completely to his twin, who listened attentively to every detail.
A few days later, Atsumu was confessed to via phone call. Samu saw the whole thing go down (ie: Atsumu nearly collapsing). He gave a thumbs up to his clueless brother who somehow managed to piece together a coherent acceptance to the confession.
Ever since, Samu has always been a receptive ear to his relationship woes, and his gripes with the allos and the overly horny society in general.
That receptive ear is gonna come in handy today…
Atsumu lets his head fall back against the lightly vibrating wall of the train as it continues its journey. He pops in his headphones and turns on a calming music playlist for the rest of the ride ahead.
Before he knows it, the train comm beeps, a mechanical voice letting the passengers know they are arriving at the station closest to Onigiri Miya and the family house.
Atsumu rattles off a quick text to his twin and he hops up, ready to depart. The train pulls into the station and when the doors slide open, the setter steps foot onto Hyogo. The nipping late-winter breeze swirls through the station, making him shiver as he strides to the street. He hails a taxi for the last leg of the journey.
Onigiri Miya stands tall, clean black walls and creamy doors line the front, facing the busy sidewalk. Atsumu unlocks the front door and walks in, returning his key to his pocket and closing the door behind him.
"Samu? Ya in here?"
No response. Atsumu strolls to the kitchen, passing the wooden tables and chairs that fill the space. He hears the clanging of pots and metal ware and realizes that Samu is preparing his food for another day of vending.
He halts at the bar and knocks on the granite plank. "Samu, I'm here. Didnja get my text?"
Atsumu hears silence from the kitchen, and then footsteps as Osamu walks around to the front of his shop. He's in his usual work outfit of black pants, a long sleeve, a hat, with a clean white apron tied at his hips. The dark circles under his eyes tell him everything that he needs to know.
"Are ya okay?"
Osamu rubs his eyes, a grimace tight on his lips. "I'm fine, just up late shoppin'."
"Shoppin' fer what?"
"Supplies fer the new store in Tokyo. The openin' day is closer than I thought it'd be and I still need to get a lotta stuff. It's a lot to sort through and order and I'm losin' track of what I need to get and ship."
Atsumu made a dejected sound, "I'm sorry, Samu. But I'm sure you'll make it! Ya put this store together, what's one more?" he shrugs and continues, "Do ya need help findin' stuff?"
"Ya don't need to help me. I know yer busy with MSBY. 'Sides, Sunarin's helpin' when he can. I'll be fine, I just need more sleep and some more food."
"If ya need help, I can make some calls. Volleyball or not, I'll make time! I can help ya!" Tsumu declares.
Osamu takes a deep breath and strolls around the bar, taking a seat next to his twin. "Alright, Tsumu," he says, eyes softening in relaxation, "I'll call ya if I need help. Thanks."
The setter grins.
Samu props an elbow on the bar and slouches his head onto the cushion of his palm. "So, what was the red alert text for? Yer lucky I was already awake when ya sent it."
Atsumu grimaces at the reminder of the hurried, panicked text sent a few days ago at roughly 1:30 am.
"Sorry 'bout that. I just… okay don't laugh-"
"Have I ever laughed at ya?"
"Yeah?! So many times?!"
"I mean about this, idiot."
"Oh… no." Tsumu concedes with a frown. "Well, it's Valentine's Day next week, I keep thinkin' that I'm gonna have to tell him before then. Don't people wanna have sex that day?"
Samu considers this. "Ya shouldn't force yerself to come out to him before yer ready. Yer going at yer own pace, ya shouldn't try to match any dumb holiday. And yeah, some people like havin' sex that day, but that doesn't mean everyone wants to."
Tsumu crosses his arms. "It's not a dumb holiday," he grumbles.
"It is if yer gonna make yerself feel bad over it," Samu states.
The setter looks away from his twin, focusing on the plain and uninteresting wall instead.
Osamu, ever the Atsumu-interpreter, narrows his eyes in focus. "What's this really about, Tsumu?"
Atsumu doesn't budge.
"Ya really expect me to believe yer worried about a holiday ya haven't participated in since we were students?"
The setter sighs. Nothing gets past Samu.
Atsumu looks at the floor and allows himself to voice his most private thought. "I don't wanna hide anymore, Samu. It's not… I don't wanna hold onto this like it's some big secret.
"Growin' up, I knew I was different and I kept it to myself. I figured myself out in private. Yer the only person who even knows that I'm not allosexual. That I'm demi. I… I wanna share this part of me."
Samu's eyes widen as his twin finishes his confession, slowly digesting the words and meanings. His twin was never a complicated person to understand, his emotions usually clear on the smirk of his lips or the frown on his brow, and this was no exception. He always carries his shining heart on his sleeve.
"Ya wanna tell him, just to tell him?"
"Maybe not just him… "
It's relieving to say, to get the dense weight off his chest. He had been entertaining the idea of coming out for a while now and Omi is just the first step. But, it could also be the most excruciating one.
"How do ya think he'll react?" Samu asks, softness in his features.
"I dunno, I don't think ya can really tell with that. I dunno how into sex he is or how much he thinks we should all be into it. Maybe he won't care?"
"Have ya discussed anythin' relatin' to sex before?"
The setter shakes his head. "Not at all, it's never come up."
Samu crinkles his eyes in thought. "Even when he spends the night at yer apartment?"
"Yeah, we just sleep. That's it." Tsumu says, remembering the several times that Omi's stayed over and how their kisses never exploded into heat and desperate hands. They snuggle up, fall asleep in each other's arms, and wake up tangled in the sheets. Neither push any boundary, even though none had even been discussed relating to that type of intimacy.
Samu crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. His twin looks lost in comforting memories and though he feels apprehensive to interrupt with more questions, one just wouldn't stop nagging.
"Tsumu," he asks, "why now? Ya figured yerself out a few years ago and ya've felt comfortable with the label since. What changed?"
Atsumu shrugs, lost in jumbled and erratic thoughts.
A few moments later, he speaks, "ya remember when boys in our class started comin' out as gay or bi? How they were so happy, and loud and proud about it?"
Samu nods.
"I never wondered to myself if I could do the same. I didn't figure out what my sexuality was or that experiencin' attraction differently even counts as one. Now that I know, I wanna do the same."
Atsumu gives a wistful smile at his twin, at the memories of himself as a lonely and confused high school boy, and what he wants to do.
"I realized a while ago that I owe it to him, to high school me, to be loud and proud. To own my label. So I wanna start there with ya, with mom, and Kiyoomi. Then, who knows?"
Samu doesn't like crying, especially in front of Atsumu, so he will deny the indisputable fact that there are tears prickling his eyes until the day he dies.
"But that's where I have my issue! Cause I dunno how to tell him! I kinda told ya and ya figured out the rest, but he doesn't know!" Atsumu finishes, allowing Samu to discreetly blink away his emotions.
"How do I tell him? When do I tell him? The date's tonight and I dunn-"
"Tsumu, breathe," Samu says, evenly, bringing his twin back. "I don't think there's one right way to tell anyone. Ya need to wait for when ya feel safe and ready. Don't force yerself to get it out early just to get it out. At the same time, don't hold it in if ya can't stop thinkin' about it."
Tsumu nods, "okay, I'll just try!"
Both men are silent for a few minutes. Samu rubs his neck, pressing out the kinks that have formed from his time frantically shopping for the new store. Tsumu stares at the floor and runs an anxious hand through his hair.
"What if he doesn't… take it well?"
The unspoken implications slap Osamu across the jaw. He grinds his teeth at the idea of anyone treating his twin like garbage because of their own ignorance.
"Then call me and I'll drive up to kick his ass. Sunarin'll film it and post it on YouTube. We'll get some ad revenue and then we'll use the money to go on a trip somewhere."
Atsumu stares, dumbfounded, before snickering into laughter. "Uhh if we're gettin' ad revenue, we should use it to get ya out of jail!"
Samu shrugs. "The law can't hold me down."
Atsumu chuckles and relaxes; what's left is a genuine smile. "Thanks, Samu."
Samu waves the affection off. "Don't mention it. Didja have anythin' else ya wanted to talk about?"
Atsumu thinks before shaking his head. "I don't think so! I'm feelin' a bit better about tonight. I'll see where the date takes us, and I'll tell him when the time is right and I feel safe."
Samu smirks. "I'm glad, Tsumu."
"Oh! Lemme check the train schedule. Isn't it almost openin' time?"
Samu checks his phone and curses. "Yeah, I need to keep preppin' food. When's the next train?"
"In about an hour. Do ya need any help around here before I call a taxi?"
Samu considers this and his memories of Atsumu in their kitchen at home. He shivers. "Do ya mind wipin' down the tables and organizin' the register?"
"Easy! No problem!" The setter stands to start helping when a sudden hand grips his arm, stopping him from moving.
"Tsumu, wait. One more thing."
Atsumu stops to look at his twin and the serious expression on his face. "Yeah?"
"Don't…" Samu takes a breath and tries again, "don't put his feelin's over yer body. Ya matter too much for someone to have their way with ya, no matter who they are. That goes fer everyone but especially ya. Ya said ya owe it to yer high school self to be loud and proud?"
Atsumu nods, the only action he can muster at the moment.
"Ya owe it yerself, now, to be honest and to be clear about what ya want and don't want. If he or anyone isn't willin' to listen, ya can get them the fuck out of yer life. No one, and I mean no one, is that important to keep around if they don't give ya basic respect."
Samu loosens his grip on the setter's arm, but the setter stays in place.
"That's all I wanted to say, Tsumu. Sorry fer psychin' ya out."
Atsumu recovers, barely. "Wow, Samu, ya should be a speaker!"
Samu shoves his twin playfully. "Shuddup. Go clean the tables."
"Yer not the boss of me!" Atsumu says, grabbing a fresh rag and cleaning solution. Samu's words sprint laps around his head as he cleans and counts the money.
Ya owe it to yerself now to be honest.
Advocating for himself? Outside of volleyball, Atsumu doesn't really do that. He never found it in himself to care about what others thought, until the sprouting seed of his otherness rooted itself. Now, he has to care. More than that, he has to actively consider himself and stand up for his wants and boundaries.
Self care outside of volleyball has to happen, more than in his training or fitness schedule.
He has to learn how to be his own advocate.
It sounds like a challenge.
But Atsumu is never one to back down from a challenge.
Shortly after, he finishes up his help and bids a brotherly farewell to his twin, a to-go box of onigiri in hand. "Bye, Samu!"
"Bye, idiot," Samu returns with a fond tone. He's not fooling anyone.
Atsumu hails a taxi and returns to the station. He pops in his headphones again and when the train arrives, he boards it. He heads back home, thinking about Samu and how damn lucky he is to have him.
The rest of the afternoon is a bit of a blur. He eats, showers, gets an overnight bag ready, and waits. He walks laps around his apartment, organizes his DVDs, scrolls through Instagram, and waits. He changes into a classic two-piece black and white tuxedo, looks through helpful aspec resources, panics a few times, and waits.
Until it's five pm.
"AW FUCK, I'M NOT READY!"
His phone buzzes. He clicks on the home screen with shaking fingers.
SENDER: Omi-Omi 3
The car is here. Should I come up and get you?
Atsumu takes a deep breath, forcing himself to get a grip. He responds:
I'll be right down, Omi-kun!
He grabs his bag and leaves his apartment, locking the door behind him. He walks down the stairs and into the lobby. His anxious heartbeat picks up the pace, refusing to be ignored. He shrugs it off, walking faster, adding unnecessary bounce into his step.
In the parking lot awaits a town car, sleek and stylish, and a man- no, a gentleman- in a suit and cap. As Atsumu cautiously approaches, the gentleman opens the rear passenger door, revealing an empty seat next to him.
Kiyoomi, who, even from a distance, looks like a dream.
"Miya-san?" A distant voice calls to Atsumu, whose every thought is focused on his Omi and the suit he's wearing, his fluffy curls, and the relaxed, easy smile hinting on his lips.
"Miya-san? Miya-san?"
Atsumu snaps out of his reverie to acknowledge the gentleman in the cap, who has the slightest bit of tightness around his eyes.
"Sorry, yeah?"
"Can I take your bag?" The gentleman asks, flatly.
"Oh, yeah sure! Thanks!" Atsumu, unbothered, hands him his bag and walks to the car, to his boyfriend of six months!
He slides into the seat next to Kiyoomi and wow, if he thought he looked good from a distance, there is no comparison to being right next to him.
To say he looks like a vision discounts every vision mankind has ever foreseen.
Sakusa Kiyoomi wears an emerald green suit, accented with silver thread and buttons, and a tightly fitted black dress shirt. His hair is combed and styled, shiny with product and faintly smelling like strawberries. His burgundy-tinted lips (is that /lipstick?/) form a relaxed smile, sweetness in full.
My skin is clear. My crops are watered.
What on earth did he do to deserve Kiyoomi, the god of elegance, sitting before him? Gazing at him with a soft expression of expectancy and openness?
"Atsumu? Are you alright?" Omi asks, worry in his voice.
Shit, I haven't talked yet.
"Yeah, Omi-Omi! I'm fine! Ya look great! Yer makin' me feel under-dressed," he says, casually, ignoring the heart attack that's definitely happening.
"Oh," Kiyoomi says shyly, a pretty pink blush on his cheeks, "thank you. You look very nice too, Atsu."
The gentleman in the cap enters the car in the front seat and begins the process of driving. The car beeps.
"Does everyone have their seat belt on?" The driver asks, even more flatly than before, somehow.
Atsumu checks and realizes he forgot to put his on. He gets the strap stuck a few times, then eventually clicks it in. "Ready!" He flashes a thumbs-up to the driver that's almost certainly planning on taking a bumpy road.
Kiyoomi sits back and reaches his hand over to brush against Atsu's arm. The setter looks over and tangles his fingers against Kiyoomi's awaiting digits.
"Happy six months, love."
Atsumu beams. The unease in his veins has not subsided but, at least for now, there is joy. "Happy six months, Omi!"
"I probably should've asked before, but where are we goin'?" Atsumu asks, a whopping five minutes into the journey.
Kiyoomi brushes his curls away from his eyes. "Of course. Like I told you, we are staying the night at a hotel. The surprise is that it's the Tenrai in Misaki. I booked us the suite on the top floor."
"Awww, ya shouldn't have! The top floor suites are always my favorites!" The setter exclaims, exuding golden retriever energy. "But I haven't heard of the hotel before, so I still don't know much."
Atsumu swears he hears the driver snicker at that remark.
"Honestly, I'm not familiar with it either. I found it online when I was looking for places to take you to. I'd like to keep the main event a surprise, if that's alright with you."
Atsumu grumbles and agrees. It's more for show than anything.
"Atsu," he says, running his thumb over the setter's knuckles, "I will say that it's a hybrid of two things I know you like, as well as dinner." Kiyoomi relents in a tone of pure fondness.
Volleyball and… volleyball?
"And then our suite is gorgeous. It has a balcony with a hot tub overlooking the ocean." Kiyoomi continues in his calm tone that gives away nothing.
Alarm bells ring in Atsumu's mind as his shoulders tense up.
Hot tub? Why would he brin' that up? Why's that important? Oh no, does he think we're gonna do it there? Do people do thin's in hot tubs? (I thought water rinses away the lube? How does that work?) What does he think is gonna happen?
"Atsumu?"
A gentle touch on his arm awakens him. Kiyoomi gazes at him, attentiveness in those wide eyes. "Are you alright?"
Atsumu swallows and nods, forcefully. "Yeah, Omi! Sorry, I was thinkin' about the hot tub and the balcony. Do ya think we're gonna see the stars, bein' that far away from the city?"
The lie doesn't completely fool Kiyoomi, but he nods and answers anyway.
"Yes, I think so. At least one star will be guaranteed…"
Atsumu lets the line sink in before snapping his head to stare at Omi, who's looking towards the window and blushing.
"What a line, Kiyoomi! Are ya proud of that one?" He teases.
Omi shrugs. Atsumu barely hears the quietest "a little" before giggling.
The driver sighs. It's going to be a long journey.
About an hour later, they arrive in Misaki.
The sun recently set, casting a soft pink hue over the sky. Even from the car, the ocean's waters shine and move with the motions of the fishing boats. On the other side are homes surrounded by clumps of trees. They continue into the city, passing by a few seafood restaurants on the way.
Eventually, the driver pulls over and parks the car.
"Sakusa-san, we're here."
"Thank you." Kiyoomi rolls his shoulders back and puts on a fresh mask.
"I'll get your bags."
"Thank ya!" Atsumu unlocks his door and hops out, holding the door open for his stunning date.
Kiyoomi glides out; a vision in emerald green.
The driver hauls the bags from the trunk, and deposits them on a cart with a staff member.
They stand in front of a grand wooden gate with a silver keypad on the door. Kiyoomi steps forward and punches in a four digit code.
Atsumu tried to hide his snicker at the "0710" code. This sentimental dork.
The lock buzzes. Omi holds the door open and ushers Atsumu in.
"Omi, what a gentleman!"
Atsumu prances in, Kiyoomi following behind after he bows to their driver, who happily returns to the car.
A stone path covers the earth with flat rocks of varying sizes, all smoothed over. Rows of flourishing flowers line the way, extending deep into the surrounding grass. To the right, an elegant fountain pours into a pond, lily pads adorning the surface.
The feeling of tranquility is a bit shaken when Atsumu sees that the stone path leads to two glass doors under a sky high tower.
Kiyoomi takes his hand. "Check in is this way, love," he says, leading the way with a gentle tug.
Beyond the glass doors is the modern lobby. The front desk looks as if it were carved from obsidian. Detailed, upholstered chairs and polished tables fill the space, amidst the moving staff, guests, and their suitcases.
Atsumu hears the sounds of the elevator to his right. Beyond the elevator, the hall narrows into a passage, a sign guiding the guest further into the hotel.
Could that be the main event?
A woman at the front desk with a white hairband works at a computer, typing away when Kiyoomi slows to a stop a few feet from the desk.
She looks up and gives the classic customer service smile. "Hello, welcome to the Tenrai. How may I help you?"
"Hello, sorry to interrupt. I made a reservation online, under the name Sakusa Kiyoomi." He pulls out his ID and shows it to her.
She clicks through her computer. "Ahh, yes, here you are! One night in the penthouse suite."
My boyfriend is the best boyfriend.
"Sakusa-san, your room and private dining table are both ready. I will have your bags sent to your room. Here are your keys." She hands them two metallic, rustic keys with a small plastic card reading "15" in black text.
"Please let me know if you need anything. We hope you enjoy your stay!" She chirps as she bows.
Atsumu and Omi bow in return. They leave the front desk area and pocket the keys.
Kiyoomi takes Atsumu's hand once more. "Could we sit down a moment?"
Atsumu nods. They take a seat in some chairs near the elevator, a bit away from bustling staff.
"Would you like to have dinner first or visit our room beforehand?" Omi asks, adjusting the mask on his cheeks. "I have no preference either way."
Atsumu considers this and the nagging voice that keeps screeching "HOTTUBHOTTUBHOTTUBHOTTUB" and decides quickly.
"How 'bout dinner first? I'm hungry and I wanna see what kinda food they serve!"
Kiyoomi blinks at this, struggling to hide the way his eyes crinkle. "I'm glad, dinner might be the main event I was telling you about."
Atsumu beams, "let's go then!" and they're off before Atsumu can put any thought towards the other surprises Kiyoomi has in store.
Kiyoomi is the best boyfriend, no, PERSON, to have ever graced this earth. No one will ever reach his level of pure, ridiculous kindness and thoughtfulness.
The private table that the lady at the front desk had told them about is the only such table on the whole balcony. They overlook the garden they entered through earlier, as well as the rest of the expansion. The fountain and lily pond are off to the side of the grass. Low-growing Magnolia trees spill curved pink petals onto the grass. Camellia trees fill the air with red flowers and evergreen leaves, adding a sweet aroma to the salty ocean air.
Oh, one more thing that Atsumu noticed almost immediately. This place has cats. Just chilling. Adult cats roam through the garden, certainly taking ownership of the location. The tables on the sub level sit behind a mesh gate, separating the guests from the cats.
"After we finish eating," Kiyoomi explains, clearly seeing the look of awe on his boyfriend's face, "we can go through the garden and play with the cats. This place is the first hybrid tea garden and cat cafe in the world. What do you think?"
Atsumu's cheeks flush warm. "Omi, I love it! I can't believe ya! This is so sweet! Ya did this fer me?" He gestures to himself in disbelief.
Kiyoomi removes his mask and nods once. "Of course, I want you to have a good night. You deserve no less."
He says it so directly, factually, as if it were common knowledge.
Atsumu steps forward and puts his-recently washed-hands on Kiyoomi's cheeks, squishing them delicately and causing The Pout^™. "Thank ya, Omi. I really do love it. Ya make me feel so special!"
Kiyoomi snakes his fingers to wrap around Atsumu's wrists; he softly rubs his thumbs against his setter's skin. "You are special, Tsumu. But I don't think you'll feel the same way when you find out that we can't take any of the cats home."
"WHAT? SAYS WHO?"
"Says the hotel staff. There's a sign right there."
Atsumu turns in the direction that Kiyoomi motioned towards. There is, in fact, a sign right there prohibiting guests from taking the cats home, unless they are adopting or fostering the animal in question.
He grumbles. "Fineeeeeeee, I won't grab a cat."
Kiyoomi presses a kiss to the fingers on his cheeks and gingerly pulls the appendages away. "Let's order dinner, love."
"Okay!" Atsumu dashes like a madman around the table to pull the nearest chair out. He grins widely, dashingly.
Kiyoomi chuckles. "Why, thank you," he teases as he sits down, leaning back into the upholstered fabric and undoing his jacket buttons.
Atsumu takes the seat across from him and shucks his own jacket. He picks up the menu and starts looking when he hears Kiyoomi clear his throat.
"One more surprise, but this one isn't very important."
"Yeah, Omi?"
"I didn't find this place out of nowhere… it was Motoya's recommendation." He says, flatly.
Atsumu is silent for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Motoya-kun told ya to come here?!"
The outside hitter nods, a blush traveling up his exposed throat.
"Aww, it's a great surprise, no matter where it came from! I'll have to thank him," Atsumu exclaims, still in the midst of laughter.
Omi rolls his eyes at his dork of a boyfriend and picks up his menu.
They peruse it for a few minutes. It has a combination of various teas and typical cat cafe food: sushi, onigiri, mini cakes, pastries, and more.
Atsumu's stomach roars. "Everythin' looks amazin'!"
"Then get everything."
The setter slowly lifts his head. Omi's face is buried in the menu, a little too nonchalantly.
"Are ya serious?"
"Atsumu, it's our anniversary; whatever makes you happy, I want for you."
Another fact, but this time, with a nearly unnoticeable vein of something in his voice.
"Yer spoilin' me so much, Omi."
Kiyoomi nods, simply.
"You wanna split a couple of the cakes?"
"Sure, they look good."
He sounds tense? No- guarded? What's on his mind?
Crap… what if he's thinkin' about doin' it tonight with me? Is that why he got us the penthouse?
"Atsumu?"
The setter blinks back into the date to see Kiyoomi leaning forward in his seat, eyes trained on him.
"Can you please tell me what's wrong? You looked worried."
Atsumu forces a smile. "Sorry, nothin'! I was just thinkin' about… the Olympics! I wonder when we're gonna hear if we're on the team or not. That's all!"
Kiyoomi doesn't look convinced, a frown joining his pout. "Alright. I'm nervous about that as well, but I'm sure we have done more than enough to earn our spots."
He doesn't believe me. I need to start bein' more careful about my worries.
"Atsu, if you are ready, can we start ordering?"
The setter nods. "Yeah, Omi-Omi, I'm ready!"
-
No surprise, dinner is amazing.
They split orders of tempura and sushi rolls. Fresh seafood caught there in the port fried to crispy perfection, next to tightly wrapped and artfully constructed rolls. Dessert comes after the entrees are done and those are even better! Mini cakes with fresh creams and jams, and pastries with powdered sugar and delicate designs made of chocolate.
Atsumu more or less turns into a vacuum, consuming as much food as his stomach allows. Kiyoomi has his share, enjoying the break from his usual diet of strictly healthy meals.
"Ya want some more tea, Omi-Omi?"
"Yes, please."
Atsumu pours the ceramic pot into Omi's cup, a night of tea-drinking lightening the weight.
"Do you want me to pour you some?" Omi asks.
"Nah, I think I'm done. I wanna go play with the cats already!"
Kiyoomi hums. "I do too. Let me finish this and then we can go. But no stealing any, alright?"
Atsumu smiles sweetly, far too innocently. "Yeah, Omi, I'm not gonna steal one of the cats. Definitely. Not one."
Kiyoomi rolls his eyes and finishes his tea, just as a waiter comes out.
"Hello, may we get you anything else?"
Atsumu shakes his head. "Nope! We ate enough. It was really delicious!"
Kiyoomi nods, "He's right, we are done. Thank you, the food was incredible. But I do have one question: who can I talk to about ordering a bottle of champagne for our suite?"
"I can do that! Would you like to see our selection?"
"No, thank you, just send up whatever you recommend to Suite 15."
"Of course! Excuse me," The waiter takes note of this and leaves.
Atsumu waves a hand in front of his face, cooling himself off dramatically. "Wow, Omi-kun, champagne? How fancy!"
Kiyoomi shrugs. "Shall we?"
Atsumu hops up, excitedly. "We shall!"
They get up and organize the table, putting all their used plates in a neat pile. After slipping their jackets back on, Atsumu holds his hand out for Kiyoomi to take, ready to find their way to the garden.
Walking through the garden and looking over it are two completely different experiences. When they were on the private balcony, Atsumu could see the beautiful plants and the fluffy cats, he could appreciate the scenic beauty like a painting: all at once and from afar.
He had no idea what it would be like to walk through. The subtle lights from miniature lanterns give the garden a soft glow, as if they were fireflies. The gentle breeze carries the pleasant scent from the magnolia and camellia flowers. Leaves and fallen petals litter the ground, giving color to the richly green grass and contrasting sharply with the darker fur of the cats.
Kiyoomi sits down on a stone bench at the far corner, away from the other guests; Atsumu joins him and starts looking around for the nearest kitty.
He pouts. "None of 'em are here!"
Omi pets his hair, gently. "I'll go get a toy and a few treats. Wait for me?"
The setter nods.
Omi stands and walks off. Atsumu keeps scanning the garden and notices that the few guests that remain slowly trickle around the corner, probably towards the majority of the cats. They are more or less alone.
He takes a deep breath and does a quick mental check. He feels alright, a little tense but his worries subsided, at least for the time being. He wants to get the words out tonight, before they sleep. If Kiyoomi doesn't accept him, then he has time to leave and get back to his apartment.
If Kiyoomi doesn't accept me… I'll be a wreck.
He shakes his head. He can't think about that right now. He can't control how Omi's gonna react, besides, he isn't doing this for him. He wants to stay true to himself.
The ring weighs abundantly on his finger. All its meaning and significance wrapped into such a modest accessory.
If Omi would listen, he'd tell him everything he's learned, gone through, and thought about. If he'd hear him out, Atsumu would spill it all until he couldn't speak anymore.
Tonight. It's going to happen tonight.
"Uhh, Atsu? I have a shadow."
Atsumu blinks out of his thoughts and turns towards Omi's voice, to see the man walking back to the bench. He holds a long toy of string and yellow feathers, and behind him follows a curious cat with black fur and dazzling green eyes.
Atsumu's heart nearly bursts at the astronomically adorable sight. "Awwwwwww! Omi, ya made a friend!"
Kiyoomi nervously stammers. "I guess so?"
He sits next to the setter and quickly shoves the toy at him. The cat slows and stands in front of their legs, head tilting as they look at both men.
Atsumu leans down to study the collar and tag around their neck: the sapphire blue collar showcases a dangling pink heart with "Himari" written in ink.
"Don't worry, Omi, she's not gonna hurt ya!" Atsumu says, laughing a bit. He holds his hand out to the cat. She sniffs his skin and nudges her little face against him, politely demanding pets and attention.
The setter gives her soft pats against her head and behind her ears. She sits and closes her eyes against his hand, clearly enjoying this.
Atsumu grins to himself. I have a type, huh?
He unravels the toy and dangles the feathers, swinging them back and forth, enticing the kitty.
She pounces towards the toy, wildly attacking it. Atsumu subtly looks at his date and sees that he's watching with rapt attention.
"Omi-Omi, do ya wanna try playin' with her?"
Kiyoomi sighs and nods, a shy smile on his lips. "I'm not sure how to, but yes."
Atsumu takes Kiyoomi's hand and gently pulls his fingers open. "Just hold the toy and keep it movin'. Keep her engaged with the feathers. Yer gonna get the hang of it!"
Omi takes the toy and continues swinging, a little erratically at first, but he learns quickly. He slows the pace and soon enough, Himari chases the toy back and forth in front of their legs, not wavering for a moment.
Atsumu watches as his boyfriend's smile grows, cheerfully playing with this cute cat. The setter lays his head on his shoulder and watches as the kitty becomes tired, opting to lay at their feet.
Kiyoomi wraps the toy up and lays it beside him. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a sealed bag of treats.
"Do you want to give her some?" He asks, opening the bag.
Atsumu nods. "Yeah! Ya should too, she seems to like ya. Maybe we should… I dunno…"
"Love, we can't keep her."
"Why not!?"
Omi smiles and nudges his arm, "here you go, Atsu," he says and pours out a few treats for him.
"Thanks, Omi-Omi." He leans down and gently rouses the cat, who looks at his palm with wide eyes. She sniffs his hand and accepts the treats, crunching on them and happily chirping once she's done.
Atsumu strokes her well-groomed fur and almost misses the mumbles of his boyfriend.
"Maybe in the future we can try getting one…"
"What?"
"What?"
"Omi-kun, really?" He asks, affection in every syllable.
Kiyoomi's lip quirks up. "I mean we'd have to live together first, but it'd be nice for us to try. Maybe."
Atsumu damn near melts. He leans in; a grand, cheeky smile pulling his cheeks out. "Yer thinkin' that far into the future?"
Kiyoomi blushes. "A little. You feel… special."
"Watch yer mouth, Kiyoomi. Ya keep sayin' sweet things like that and I'm not gonna leave ya."
"That's the plan, Atsumu." He ghosts against the setter's lips.
He pulls him in, kissing his thoughtful boyfriend under the glow of the soft lights and magnolia trees. Atsumu tips his hand under his chin and runs his thumb over his jaw as their lips meet over and over again, rediscovering each other.
Atsumu kisses him the same way he walks through life: confidently, observantly, with so much love to give.
Kiyoomi kisses him the same way he allows himself to be free around Atsumu: tranquillity in every action, passion beyond limits.
The floral breeze swirls around them, encasing the two lovers and protecting them from anything that may come their way.
Atsumu relishes how sweet Omi tastes, so much so that he misses the movement around them, until he feels an odd weight land in his lap, causing a muffled "uggfff" to spill from his lips.
He and the kiss-drunk Omi look down to see Himari laying happily in his lap, unknowing (or probably fully knowing, let's be real) of the moment she just interrupted.
Atsumu laughs softly, so as not to disturb her.
Omi pouts, a disgruntled frown on his face. "She seems pleased with herself."
The setter gazes back at his boyfriend and the fading blush, the smudged burgundy lipstick, and his dilated pupils. He steals his pout once more.
"Omi-Omi," he purrs against his lips, "don't be jealous. I'll kiss ya till ya fall asleep in my arms."
Kiyoomi hums and leans his forehead against Atsu's. "I'll hold you to that."
After Himari leaves to get attention from other guests, Atsumu and Kiyoomi walk through the garden, fully exploring the marvelous space. There are more cats to play with and more treats to give. Atsumu sneaks a few pictures of Omi playing with some sweet kittens, the genuine smile on his face-that he's lucky to be a witness of-a thing of beauty.
Soon enough, they head back inside; Atsumu bidding adieu to the cats he's still mentally preparing to take home.
They take the elevator up to the hallway, leading to Suite 15.
Kiyoomi opens the door with his key and leads Atsumu into the penthouse.
They walk into a spacious living room, filled with a long, leather couch and a glass table. Plush chairs accent the sides and face towards a plasma screen television. Omi turns on the lights, drawing the setter's eyes to the stain glass and abstractly-designed chandelier.
The hardwood floor under his feet makes him shiver, the quiet gasps from his mouth only growing at every detail. The paintings on the wall, the broad windows that overlook the ocean, and the-
Oh no
- the hot tub.
"Love, would you like to join me for a quick bath?"
What's gonna happen if I go in there?
"Uh, sure Omi. I'll wash up and meet ya out there in a few. Where's the bathroom?"
Kiyoomi points towards the guest bathroom nearest to his bags. He walks off before he can finish explaining where the other bathroom is.
Atsumu grabs his bag and closes the door behind him, nearly locking himself in.
He leans on the counter and takes a firm look at himself.
He grew up. He can see it in his full face and chiseled figure. He isn't the confused or irritated student anymore. He's an adult. He knows what he wants and doesn't want.
But that also means Omi could be clear about not wantin' ya after ya tell him. Remember the stories?
The pain and refusal to understand.
Atsumu sheds his suit, the woven fabric feeling tighter than it was earlier. He turns on the shower faucet and douses himself in water.
It doesn't matter how Kiyoomi's gonna react. It only matters how I feel. And I don't wanna keep goin' like this if I'm not bein' honest about myself.
He begins washing himself with the soaps that the hotel provides. He relaxes under the water until he feels his fingertips begin to prune. He finishes and turns off the faucet.
Atsumu promptly dries himself and hangs the towel back up. He stands in front of the door, about to lay himself bare to his boyfriend.
He takes a deep breath.
I owe it to high school me to be loud and proud. I owe it to me, today, to be honest.
He opens the door. Kiyoomi is already in the tub, pouring the champagne into cocktail glasses. Atsumu follows, unwavering in his decision.
He steps onto the balcony.
The night sky is a deep, luxurious blue, the stars bright and unashamed. The wind swirls, blowing through his hair and ruffling Kiyoomi's curls.
Omi looks over. He smiles and holds out a glass of champagne. "It's chilly, shall we get in?"
Atsumu nods. "Yeah, I'm cold!"
They climb into the tub, making adjusting noises as the heat of the water bubbles against their skin. The lights of the tub change into a sunlit green, like the leaves of the camellia trees.
Atsumu relaxes against one side, Kiyoomi against the other. The outside hitter perches against the edge and brushes away his hair with his wet hand.
The setter holds the dainty champagne class, barely noticing his grip faltering and the base sliding down his palm and into the bubbling water. Kiyoomi looks gorgeous there, looking out over Japan, his damp curls scattered, messily framing his face.
Can he really do this?
I want to tell him. I owe it to myself to be clear about what I want and don't want.
Dammit, Samu and his perfect words.
Atsumu places his slightly wet glass on the mini table on the side of the hot tub and clears his throat. "Kiyoomi?"
Omi turns to look at Atsumu upon hearing his name, his eyes relaxed and expectant. "Yes, Atsu?"
"I, uh, I'm sorry if I've been weird tonight. I have somethin' that I need to tell ya and I'm not, umm-"
Wow, talking is a lot easier when the feeling of your entire identity and self-worth isn't in the equation.
"I need to tell ya somethin' about me. Maybe about us?"
Kiyoomi nods loosely, his expression carefully guarding and hardening itself. "I do too. I've been meaning to tell you something as well. But you should go first, if it's been weighing on you for that long."
Atsumu takes an uneven breath. His limbs feel tight and his body feels heavy, yet energised. As if it doesn't know if Atsumu is about to run or weep or completely shut down.
"Okay, Omi, I'll tell ya."
Atsumu clasps his hands together, pressing the water out of his palms and grounding himself in the tub. The lights dance on a royal blue shade, not unlike Tobio-kun's eyes, but it does not linger. It darkens into a brilliant indigo. Atsumu inhales and lets himself spill over.
"Kiyoomi, I. Okay, I like ya a lot. I do, but I don't, uh. I can't do, well… Shit…"
Tsumu, breathe!
"I don't wanna have sex with ya!" he cries, eyes squeezed tightly shut and shoulders hunching slightly under the weight of his honesty.
He doesn't hear anything from Omi so he continues, "I feel so much love fer ya, but I'm not into ya that way. I'm somethin' called demisexual, it's on the asexual spectrum. I don't really feel the same feelin's? No, I just don't really have, um-"
Atsumu steadies his heart before the muscle can pump more blood than his body has capacity for.
"I'm not sexually attracted to ya, Omi. It's not that I don't like how ya look, I just haven't felt attracted to anyone, ever. I fell fer ya but that doesn't change that I-that I don't want to-
"I don't wanna have sex. It's not somethin' I'm interested in. I don't know if I will wanna try doing it or anythin' with ya in the future. I might want to, but I can't say for sure that I will.
"I'm sorry fer not… no, I'm not sorry fer this, fer how I am. I am sorry that I didn't tell ya earlier. I know sex is important to people and it's just not to me. It's not somethin' I wanna do."
Atsumu wrings his hands together. Kiyoomi is silent. Is he still here?
He opens his eyes. He had hung his head earlier so all he has eye contact with is the water and its dark indigo, the lights creating a blurry galaxy for him to behold. He can see Omi's legs in the corner of his sight. He hasn't left. Why hasn't he left?
"I know this may not be what ya wanted from me. But I'm not gonna force myself to do somethin' like that when I don't want it. I can't do that to myself…"
He breathes deeply and finishes his speech.
"So that's it, I think. I just, don't feel that way about ya, and I don't know if I ever will. I might want to, but I don't wanna make a false promise. It doesn't change how I feel about ya and I still wanna be with ya… if ya want that too."
Atsumu finishes his confession and quickly takes his pulse with his fingers. His heart is racing out of control and his body feels like it's nearing hives.
He dares to make eye contact with Kiyoomi, who seems to be completely still. Atsumu lets his eyes drift upward, following the line of his body up to his face.
Kiyoomi's cheeks bloom pink and his eyes, normally passive and neutral, if not soft, burn a hole into Atsumu. His pupils are glassy with unshed tears.
"Omi-kun! Are ya okay?" Atsumu cries, protective instinct taking over. He hops onto his feet. "What do ya need? Water? A tissue? What's wrong?"
Omi's eyes follow Atsumu, lower lip quivering slightly as his pout dissolves into a parted gasp.
He chokes out a phrase that Atsumu can't hear, his breath coming and going with difficulty.
"Omi? Whatja say?"
A tear falls into the water. Kiyoomi dares to raise his voice. "You're demi too?"
Atsumu hears the word "too" and stills, feeling every nerve light aflame and run cold all at once. He blinks once, with effort.
"Omi?" Is all he can muster.
Kiyoomi lets another tear fall. He hates crying, always has; Atsumu knows this. The setter reaches out, dragging his arm through the water as if it were wet cement. He extends his hand.
"Yeah, I'm demisexual. Always have been."
Kiyoomi purses his lips, as if he is trying to hold back a lifetime's worth of speech. He swallows and gingerly raises his hand out of the water. His fingers nudge against Atsumu's, hesitantly, unsure of the touch.
"Atsumu, I… I'm demi too."
Atsumu doesn't waste moments in his life and he sure as hell isn't about to start now. He tenderly brushes his fingers against Omi's shaking outstretched hand, wrapping around his wrist and loosely pulling on the limb.
Kiyoomi stands on unsteady legs, eyes never diverting from Atsumu. The lights in the tub blink and change color, bubbling from the deep indigo into a vibrant, inviting, loving violet.
"Really Omi? Ya are?" Atsumu asks, quietly, vulnerably.
Omi nods, tears falling freely. "That's what I wanted to tell you. That I... don't want you yet." He shudders, shoulders shaking at the admission, the release. "I thought you would leave."
Atsumu feels the sting in his own eyes, the recognition of fear and a distinct other from whatever the hell is considered normal eating at him. "Can I hug ya?" He whispers, hand tightly around Omi's.
Omi nods rapidly, eyes pressing shut.
Atsumu moves into Omi the same way he has hundreds of times before. He threads his fingers into Omi's hand and lets the limb fall to their sides before stepping into his space. He runs his other hand into Omi's curls, carefully guiding him to lay his head on Atsumu's shoulder.
"I'm here, Omi, I'm not goin' anywhere," he says as easily as if he were breathing.
Kiyoomi pulls Atsumu in, wrapping his free arm around his waist and letting himself cry into Atsu's shoulder. He weeps for himself, for the shitty dates, for stares and judgement, for the exclusion, but mostly because Atsumu is in his life, sharing his kind heart and love.
Atsumu plays with Omi's curls as he presses gentle kisses along his temple. He feels a few tears fall from his own eyes, out of relief or sudden worry, he couldn't tell you. There's a powerful beaming brightness stemming from his heart, tender comfort in waves. He whispers affectionate words of softness into Omi's ear, and through the turmoil of emotions the revelation has brought, he smiles.
They're gonna be alright.
"Omi-Omi, breathe. Lets get ya some water?"
Kiyoomi slides his head to fit snugly into the crook at Atsu's neck. He pulls the setter flush against his chest, bristling at the heat of his skin.
Atsumu hums cheerfully. "Okay, a few more minutes then."
Truthfully, Atsumu would gladly spend the rest of his days there. Omi in his arms, the hot tub's bubbles tickling his legs, the breeze drifting across his bare back, the stars watching every moment.
Two men, so deeply in love, standing under a deep blue sky in violet water.
Kiyoomi remains silent for a little while, opting to run his hand across Atsu's back, pulling him ever closer, soaking in his energy. The tears are dry by now, replaced by a relieved softness that pulls at his cheeks. He squeezes at Atsu's hand, caressing the fingertips with his own.
"Kiyoomi?" Atsumu asks, "are ya okay?"
Omi breathes deeply into Atsu's neck and nods. "Better than okay." He presses a kiss into Atsu's collarbone and lays his forehead against it. "Thank you for telling me."
Atsumu squeezes his hand twice. "Back at ya, Omi-Omi."
"Could we stay here a bit longer?"
Atsumu nods, lips against his damp curls. "As long as ya want, I'm in no rush."
They shuffle around, eventually finding a comfortable position of Atsumu sitting in the tub, long legs outstretched and supporting Kiyoomi, who lays on top of him and with his head on Atsu's chest.
Atsumu can't help but feel so light. His worries were valid, of course, coming out to a partner is rarely an easy feat, but Kiyoomi understands. More than that, he relates to him.
Atsumu had felt something special with Kiyoomi before; now, he just feels like home.
"Tsumu?"
The setter runs his hand through Omi's curls. "Ya, Omi-kun?"
"I haven't met many others like me, that are also on the aspec. Would it be alright if I asked you about it?"
A pop quiz? Already? "Sure!"
Kiyoomi wraps his arms around his waist and begins. "When did you realize you weren't allosexual?"
Atsumu relaxes his shoulders at the easy question. "Hmmm, I guess it'd be around middle school! Some people had started confessin' to each other and I didn't have anyone I wanted to confess to. Hell, I didn't even know what they were confessin' about! I was just confused.
Later, my mom gave Samu and me the talk and I didn't want anythin' that she said. It kinda went on from there, but those were the first moments. What about ya?"
Kiyoomi smiles into his chest. "Something similar happened to me. I wasn't the type to want many friends, so it didn't surprise me when I didn't start wanting any romance. But the lack of want grew and it was painfully obvious that I was missing some supposedly important emotion." He says, a bit scornfully.
"I told ya that yer my first boyfriend, right?"
Omi nods.
"Did ya date anyone before me?"
His eyes dart to the side as he pouts, clearly recalling a bad memory. "I did, a few people. Though most people leave after one date when I tell them that I'm not interested in sleeping with them."
Atsumu makes a dejected sound. The loneliness and isolation he was worried about has already plagued Kiyoomi. How much time did he spend like that? "Omi, I'm sorry."
"It's alright. I learned a lot about allos that way, like what they expect from their partner. It's fascinating how important sex can be."
"Hmm, yeah… I dunno. I don't get it. I mean, I guess I can't get it cause I'm not horny like they are, but sex just doesn't seem like all that. Like it's the be-all, end-all of their lives."
Kiyoomi hums from his chest.
"Didja say somethin', Omi?"
"No, I just realized something. I'll tell you when I'm ready."
Atsumu presses a kiss into his curls. "No problem."
"I have one more question, Atsu."
"Shoot!"
Kiyoomi shifts so that his chin rests on Atsumu's chest and he can gaze into his boyfriend's attentive eyes.
"Is there any reason you told me today?"
I owe it to myself.
"Omi, I—" he leans back his head to look at the stars, all their power and honesty, "I wanna come out. It started with you and I wanna keep goin'. I don't wanna be ashamed that I'm on the aspec. I mean! Not that I feel bad or resent that I'm like this, but not bein' able to talk about it or tell anyone feels like I'm keepin' it a secret. I don't want that.
"I wanna be loud and proud about who I am and that I'm this way." He says, lifting his hand out of the water to show Kiyoomi his ring. "That's our flag. Ya see it?"
Omi takes his hand in his own and gazes at the resin on the clever black ring. He nods, recognizing the four stripes; he leans forward and presses a featherlight kiss to his knuckles. "I get what you mean. The general, unfriendly perception of people on the aspec gives the impression that we should hide. That we should be quiet about what we are.
"But, we were never made to be held in the shadows."
He threads his fingers in between Atsumu's. "If you want to come out, I'll support you, love."
The setter beams, his happiness meter flying off the charts. He rests his forehead against Omi's curls and sighs. "Thank ya, Omi."
"I should be thanking you, I haven't felt this at peace in years."
Must. cuddle.
Atsumu cuddles his adorable boyfriend, giving him all of his care and affection and so many kisses.
Once they are done, they exit the hot tub, dripping all over the balcony. They wash up and head to bed, snuggling with each other in the exquisite sheets. True to his word, Atsumu kisses Kiyoomi until he falls asleep in his arms, relaxing easily with the weight that's been lifted off of his shoulders.
The morning sun greets them. Atsumu wakes up first. He rubs his eyes and looks at his beautiful prince. Kiyoomi sleeps on his back, curls cascading on the pillow, and a calmness on his features.
The setter presses a kiss to his cheek and lays his head on his shoulder, relaxing back into sleep. The joy from the previous night keeps him warm and comfortable in the chilly morning.
Kiyoomi sleepily pulls him closer, absently running his clumsy hands over his body; the ring that Atsumu had on the night before now wraps around Kiyoomi's finger.
The process is slow-moving and completely worth it.
Atsumu begins with his mom. He visits home one weekend in March and, while Samu is at work, he comes out to her. She has some questions and it takes a few links to aspec resources for her to understand, but there is never a moment that she wouldn't support her son. Any and all questions are solely to understand and support him better. Atsumu knows and he keeps the fulfilling feeling with him for weeks.
Next up, MSBY. He sits them all down after a practice session and tells them. Shouyou-kun beams at him, fully supporting him from the get-go. Bokkun looks confused at times, but he loudly gives his support. After the meeting is over, they both join Atsumu and Kiyoomi.
"Atsumu-san, thanks for telling us!" Their resident sunshine says, "actually, it sounds a lot like how I felt in grade school before I met Tobio and we got together. I could never imagine being with anyone until I met him and I felt like 'uuuwwaahhh!' Is that how you feel with Sakusa-san?"
Atsumu nods immediately.
"Hey, me too with Akaashi! But he's perfect so I always thought I just had high standards!"
What did I start?!
"Hmm, could you send me some of those links, please?"
"Me too, please, Tsum-Tsum!"
Atsumu whips out his phone in a flash. "No problem!"
The next people to tell are, coincidentally, the Japan National Team because GUESS WHO'S GONNA GO AND PLAY THIS TIME AS THE SETTER? THAT'S RIIIIIIIIIIIGHTTTTTTTT
After he finishes screaming from both his news and Kiyoomi's, who also got on the team, to no one's surprise, he begins training with them. More extensive hours and tougher days, but it's all amazing. Soon enough, a month or so before the Olympics, he comes out. Iwaizumi-san listens intently and thumbs at the little Argentinian flag charm on his necklace during the speech. Ushijima-san nods and asks for the links afterwards. Hoshiumi loudly voices his support and approval. Yaku-kun and Motoya-kun listen intently and respectfully.
Atsumu feels so much love and support from everyone. From the way he walks, you'd think he's never been happier. You'd be right.
Before the Olympics begin, he comes out once more, without exactly expecting to.
The JNT hosts one final practice match before the world's athletes come to Japan. They play and win against a pro-league team, driving their spirits up. After showering and changing into comfortable clothes, Kiyoomi nudges his arm.
"Love, I'm going to talk with Iwaizumi-san before we go. I'll meet you at the car."
"Sure, Omi, I'll be down there once I'm done!"
Kiyoomi gives him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and leaves to find their athletic trainer.
Atsumu gathers his things and leaves the locker room, walking through the lobby. There was a small crowd for the match today and they're waiting around in the expansive room. Atsumu does his best to avoid their stares of recognition when-
"Did you see that setter? That fucker's got talent!"
Atsumu stops dead in his tracks, extremities going cold. That voice. He knows that voice. The use of the word 'fucker' is unmistakeable.
There's no way.
He turns and sure enough.
Two men sit on a fabric bench, facing away from the crowd, towards the windows. One of the men has a buzz cut while the other has curly hair. They're holding hands.
Atsumu doesn't think. He starts power-walking to their bench.
Uuhhh what the fuck do ya think yer doin'? Ya can't just 'uh hi I watch the porn ya make' to them?! What are they gonna say?!
He keeps going. He needs to tell them what they did for him. He needs them to care.
He approaches the bench. "Excuse me?" He calls.
Buzz-Cut and Curly-Hair turn at the sound of his voice. Buzz-Cut reacts immediately.
"Hey! Aren't you?" He points to the large screen that shows the game highlights, "the setter?"
Atsumu nods. He feels weightless.
"It's nice to meet you. You played really well. We were very impressed with your skills," Curly-Hair says, easily. Ever the charmer.
"Thank ya," Atsumu says. "I, uuuh, might know who ya are…"
Buzz-Cut's eyes go wide, his mouth dropping open in a shocked gasp. "You… watch us?!" He hisses, excitedly.
Atsumu nods, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. "Yeah, fer a while. Do ya like talkin' to fans?"
Buzz-Cut stammers. Curly-Hair takes over, "sometimes we do, though we usually are met with some form of harassment. Not everyone is kind to sex workers. But we have heard some lovely stories from fans. Is there a reason you approached us?"
Atsumu nods. He takes a deep breath and fiddles with his bag as he decides to come out one more time.
"Yeah. Um, I found yer videos some years ago and they kinda helped. Seein' love like what ya have and how it follows into what ya, err, film, it helped me figure myself out.
"I'm on the aspec and yer videos helped me find what works for me. So, thanks fer that. If I didn't find yer content, I dunno if I would be where I am with myself and my sexuality today."
He toys with the ring on his middle finger as he tries to relax.
Buzz-Cut recovers. "Oh shit, we helped you realize you're not allo?"
Atsumu nods. "Demi, in fact."
He and Curly-Hair gaze at each other and share a smile. Buzz-Cut holds the interlocked fingers up so that Atsumu can see the dual, matching black rings on their middle fingers.
Atsumu gasps, surprise electrifying his limbs and blood. "Ya too?" He whispers, suddenly breathless.
They nod.
Curly-Hair says, "No one made me feel the way Kazumi makes me feel. I had relationships but I didn't feel understood until I found him and figured out how I identified."
Buzz-Cut/Kazumi nods, squeezing his hand gently. "Same with me. I never looked at anyone twice. Tomomi and I became friends and some years later, I realized I was in love for the first and only time. I asked him to be mine on the spot. I've been so lucky to figure myself out with you by my side."
Curly-Hair/Tomomi pulls his hand in to kiss his fingers. "I'm the lucky one."
Atsumu can't help but feel like he's suddenly intruding on a private moment; the love and care they share is something so unique.
Is this how Omi-Omi and I look from the outside?
Tomomi turns back to him and stands to bow. "Thank you for telling us. We are honored that you shared your story." He says. Kazumi follows, standing and bowing.
Atsumu bows. "Thank ya too, I'm happy where I am. Actually, I found someone who accepts me! He's a spiker from the game ya just watched."
"The pouty one?!" Kazumi asks, exuberantly.
Atsumu grins and nods. "My Kiyoomi."
"How sweet that you found each other." Tomomi says.
"Yeah, I'm really lucky." Atsumu says. "I'm gonna go find him and head home. But thank ya fer comin' today and fer everythin' else I told ya already."
Tomomi smiles. "Of course. Do your best in the games!"
"Yeah! Knock those fuckers dead with your sets! We're rooting for you!" Kazumi exclaims.
"We will! Excuse me." Atsumu departs towards the garage. He feels the oddest combination of joy and anxiety. He came out to strangers, but they don't feel like strangers; they feel like trusted friends.
He reaches the door to the garage, but before he pulls it open, he turns back once more. He sees Kazumi and Tomomi in a tight embrace, holding each other like a lifeline.
Thank ya.
The 2020 Olympic Games come around and the two of them snuggle every day. They nonchalantly give the free condoms away to their teammates (mainly Shouyou-kun and Tobio-kun, if he's being honest) and spend their time watching old movies and talking about volleyball.
They play at the best of their game and the team gets all the way to the finals. They play against Argentina and, even though they lose, Atsumu still feels like he's on top of the world with Kiyoomi by his side.
A year later, when he and Omi begin experimenting with tender touches and cautious tongues, it's nothing like he expected and everything Atsumu ever wanted.
It takes a couple of tries for them to figure it out; the first time mainly consisted of awkward laughter and clumsy kisses. But eventually, they find a decent rhythm and the few, but important, sensitive areas.
He's so in love and he trusts Omi with everything he is. Omi takes his time and listens to everything Atsumu says and does. He follows his lead everytime, never ever wavering on the trust they built.
Atsumu used to feel safe in that tacky chair from the yard sale. He used to hide himself away to feel secure. But now, he doesn't need to.
Safe spaces evolve. It used to be that special cum chair in the spare room because he couldn't fathom his sexuality in any common sense. Then Kiyoomi, the cutest spiker, the sweetest boyfriend, the most tender and attentive lover, glided through the door Atsumu once thought to be locked.
Kiyoomi became the safe space, the trusted environment he could freely exist in.
Omi, who loves him so much, who treats him with more love and affection than Atsumu knows what to do with.
He feels precious under Omi's gaze, touch, and kiss, like a rare gem or artifact. Meticulous fingers handeling him with care, leading him, guiding him to euphoria, time and time again.
Two years pass. They return to the Tenrai and the penthouse during the off-season. On the balcony, Atsumu gazes at the setting sun and dim stars barely announcing themselves while his boyfriend grabs drinks.
"Atsumu?"
He turns to find Omi on one knee, looking at him like he's the light of his life.
The setter gasps. "Omi? What are ya doin'?" He manages to get out, knees suddenly feeling weak.
Kiyoomi clears his throat. "Three years ago, we came here and you taught me how to live freely. How to be loud and proud, as you said. How to love yourself. You've brought so much joy into my days and I am so lucky that you have let me into your life, and if you'll let me—"
Omi-Omi brings out a miniature, felt, black box.
"I'll spend every day that I have left trying to bring you that same joy."
Atsumu falls to his knees, hands cupping his mouth, tears racing to well up. He breathes with effort. "Kiyoomi, why- why me?"
Omi smiles, tenderly, lovingly, and gives his answer. "It's like you said. Sex may not be the be-all, end-all of my life. I've always known that. You, the embodiment of love that you are, helped me discover what is."
He opens the box. Atsumu sees the diamond ring, surrounded by tiny amethysts.
"Atsumu. You are. You are my be-all and end-all. You are the most important person I've ever known and I cannot imagine spending any day that I have left without you by my side."
Kiyoomi takes a deep, shuddering breath and says the phrase that he's wanted to say for years now, since he had the vision of them living together with a cat.
"Miya Atsumu, will you marry me?"
Atsumu nods, tears freely spilling over. "Yes, Omi, of course!"
He crawls over and Kiyoomi slides the ring onto his finger. They kiss and it's wet and sloppy because both of them are crying too damn hard, but they're too in-love to care.
Months later, matching golden bands go on their ring fingers, right next to the matching resin ones.
Kiyoomi and Atsumu, living loudly and proudly, together in sickness and in health, until death parts them.
Everything is perfect.