Chapter 3
The Saint Flies the Coop
Sunday was largely an exercise in frustration, at least from Britt's perspective. Casey's fax said that the only book that gave significant details about SWORD Headquarters was Volcano Seven, but even that didn't tell where the place was, just that it was "a private house in the country." Its description of the house's defenses might come in handy, but only if they could find the house to begin with. Britt's attempt to get information out of the East Midlands Bank ran into a similar brick wall—it took most of the morning for him to get the bank's president on the phone and convince him to cough up the details about "Warlock's" account, but the account was under one of Warlock's aliases from Sunburst Five, and the president seemed unwilling to pursue the question of "Warlock's" real identity further. By lunchtime, Kato was having to find ways to keep Britt from tearing out his own hair or punching a hole in Simon's wall. Calling home to hear Mike's latest wild theory about the Green Hornet turned out to be a welcome distraction.
The only promising lead came from Chapman, who managed to track down the car company that manufactured all British police cars and get hold of someone who found him information about the one unauthorized sale in the past six months. "It was supposedly from Birmingham PD," Chapman reported when he called Britt late Sunday afternoon, "but the instructions from the buyer were to deliver it not to Police Headquarters but to some address that turned out to be a vacant lot. Two men in police uniforms met the delivery there, signed for the car, paid cash, and drove off before the delivery driver could radio back to dispatch for confirmation."
"Well, it's a start," Britt replied after Chapman had given him the address of the vacant lot. "It doesn't tell us much, but it's something to go on. Thanks for the hard work, Chapman."
"You're welcome, Boss. Anything else?"
"No, I'll take it from here, thanks." After a few more pleasantries, Britt hung up.
"Birmingham," said Kato. "How far is that?"
Britt found a map and looked it up. "About 110 miles. At a rough guess, I'd say we should allow two hours or so to get there, with traffic and everything. And as late as the sun sets this far north, and as early as it rises… we probably can't wait until after dark to leave Hackney." He sighed and put the map away. "At least if anyone in Hackney sees us, they'll write it off as fancy dress after what happened last year."*
Kato nodded. "What time should we leave?"
"Let's plan to leave the garage around 8. That means we'll need to leave here between 7 and 7:15, so we should eat around 6 to leave ourselves plenty of time."
Kato nodded again. "I'll start supper now, then."
"Fine," Britt agreed and went upstairs to repack their costumes and gear while Kato cooked.
Still, Britt didn't really feel that he had his feet under him again until he was finally in the Black Beauty's back seat as the Green Hornet, all the usual departure checks were done, and they were driving away from Hackney. He waited until they were past the city limits of London to have Kato switch on the oscilloscope, more in hope than expectation, but he also tried to think through the best plan of action in case Simon wasn't in Birmingham or didn't have the Hornet Signal turned on.
"Still nothing on the oscilloscope," Kato reported as they passed through Warwick. "What do we do if there's no signal when we get to Birmingham?"
Britt sighed. "What can we do? We'll just have to start from the vacant lot and work our way outwards. And if we can't find a private house that matches the descriptions of SWORD Headquarters before sunrise, we'll try again tomorrow night."
All the same, when the sun set and the Black Beauty crossed the Birmingham city limits, Britt found himself praying that they wouldn't have to wait another night. There was no telling what would happen to Simon and Miss Klein in the course of another day in the clutches of one of her most deranged fans.
It was just over an hour after sunset when Simon eased himself through the hole he'd just made in the steep tiled roof of SWORD Headquarters, nearly slid off the roof, and managed to right himself well enough to help his fellow prisoner through.
"Well, what now, Brother Tomcat?" Amos Klein, alias Joyce Darling, alias she whose real name Simon still didn't know, asked quietly as she settled beside him as gently as possible to avoid dislodging any more of the tiles. When he pointed down to indicate they were going down the roof, she added, "You know, at this point, I usually write in a helicopter."
"Well, I can't promise a helicopter," he replied just as quietly, taking off his left shoe. "But perhaps…." He tried the heel, and two determined tugs got it off, revealing the Hornet Signal glinting in the twilight. "Thanks be to God," he murmured in relief.
She frowned. "What's that? Why didn't you mention it before?"
"I couldn't be sure it was still there." He handed her the shoe, tipped the Signal out into his hand, and handed her the heel. "This is the first chance I've had to check without Warlock finding out about it, and even if I had found it sooner, I couldn't have turned it on inside the house. And I can't be sure it'll work—the range is only fifty miles, and we've still no idea where we are. But on the off chance my friend is close enough to pick up the distress signal…." He twisted the aerials to extend them and activate the Signal, then slipped it into his pocket.
She smacked the heel back into place with the heel of her hand—mercifully, she had sense enough not to beat it against the roof—and handed the shoe back to him. "So again, what now?"
He gave the heel another couple of smacks, made sure it was on firmly and wouldn't catch on anything, and put the shoe back on. "Now we proceed with the original plan. Follow me." And he began to ease himself down the roof toward the point where the gutter met the drainpipe.
The sudden beeping from the oscilloscope made Britt's heart leap. "Is that—"
"The Signal!" Kato confirmed.
"Step on it, Kato!"
Kato didn't have to be told twice. The Black Beauty flew through the still-darkening streets of Birmingham, and the beeping grew louder and more rapid as they passed the edge of the city into the suburb of Northfield. Only when they were on a country lane lined with large estates did Kato slow down and switch to running silent and dark to avoid alerting SWORD, whoever they really were.
"The Signal's moving," Kato reported as the car slowed further outside one particular tree-lined fence. "But it's coming from this place."
Britt hummed thoughtfully. "Let's check it out first. We can turn around and come back once we've scouted the best way in."
"Right."
As Kato slowed the car to a crawl, Britt peered through the trees to try to get a glimpse of Simon. Instead, he saw several black-uniformed guards patrolling with rifles over their shoulders and with German shepherds on short leashes, much as Miss Klein had described in her books. SWORD obviously wouldn't be letting its captives go without a fight. Worse still, as the car approached the gate, Britt caught sight of a sign proclaiming the place to be the Northfield Clinic for Nervous Disorders.
"The Signal's getting closer," Kato noted.
Britt nodded. "Stop here, Kato. If Simon's headed this way—"
He was interrupted by the roar of a car engine, a flare of headlights, and the reports of two handguns. Seconds later, a silver Aston Martin crashed through the gate in a shower of metal and electrical sparks, turned onto the road, and sped away.
"After 'em!" Britt barked even as Kato stepped on the gas.
The oscilloscope kept beeping steadily as they followed the silver car, which had two occupants in the front seat. Britt guessed Simon was the one driving, but even if he could see the Black Beauty was behind him, he didn't seem anxious to slow down and switch vehicles. However, a couple of minutes down the road, a second beep joined the first.
Britt frowned. "What's that?"
"A second tracking device," Kato reported. "It must have been turned on by the car's owner."
"We'd better warn Simon, then."
Kato nodded, switched on the headlights, and flashed them at the other car before pulling into the other lane and speeding up slightly to move alongside the other car. He rolled down his window at the same time Simon lowered his further than it had been.
"Hullo!" Simon called over the road noise. "About time you got here!"
"There's a second tracking device on that car!" Kato called back.
"Let's find a cross street, then, and we'll abandon ship!"
"All right!"
Simon sped up again, and Kato dropped back behind him and switched off the headlights. They rounded a couple more bends before Simon slowed down and pulled off the road; they weren't quite to a cross street yet, but one was visible just ahead. Simon didn't turn off the engine when he and his passenger got out. They had just closed the doors behind them, however, when the engine sputtered and died and the windows rolled themselves up.
"Oh, dear," said Simon's passenger, a pretty woman who looked to be about Britt's age. Her tan sweater, black pants, and espadrille sandals were fairly sensible for adventuring; her blonde hair was mostly hidden under a bright pink scarf, and she had horn-rimmed glasses on a chain around her neck. Britt had to assume she was Miss Klein.
"Your idea, I suppose?" Simon asked, ushering her toward the door Britt was opening for them.
"Yes, I'm afraid so," she admitted and climbed into the Black Beauty as Britt slid over to the opposite end of the seat. "It was in my last book. It's an automatic cut-out on the car's electrical system that also locks all the doors and windows."
"Oh, a playboy's dream car," Simon remarked drily and climbed in after her, closing the door behind him.
"The car's hermetically sealed now. We're lucky we got out when we did."
"Which we wouldn't have if we hadn't been warned."
"You're welcome," Britt said in his Green Hornet voice.
The woman looked at him in surprise. "Oh, I say! Are you American?"
"I am," Britt answered, doing his best not to smile.
"Allow me," said Simon, shutting off the Signal as Kato drove away. "Amos Klein, meet the Green Hornet."
Miss Klein gaped at him. "The real Green Hornet?!"
"Yes, ma'am," said Britt.
"YIPPEE!" she cried and clapped her hands gleefully.
Britt cleared his throat. "Launch the scanner, Kato. I want to keep an eye on the car for a while."
"Right," said Kato and launched the scanner, much to Miss Klein's fascination.
"Mind if I use your phone to call the police?" Simon asked.
"No, not at all, assuming you can get it to connect," Britt answered. "It's got a strong transceiver, but I don't know if we're close enough to Manchester for it to work. If it does, though, you'd better call someone who knows your voice."
Simon paused with his hand halfway to the phone. "Why?"
"That place you escaped from is a mental hospital," Kato reported.
"What?!" gasped Miss Klein just as the control panel behind the front seat began receiving telemetry from the scanner.
"Scanner aloft," Britt stated and switched on the monitor, which began receiving video a moment later.
"What—but—mental hospital?!" Miss Klein pressed.
Britt sighed and steered the scanner back up the road to watch the Aston. "Yes, the sign at the gate said 'Northfield Clinic for Nervous Disorders.'"
"But—oh, Simon!"
"Yes, I know," Simon replied in a low voice, resting his hand on the phone. "Northfield… Birmingham?"
"That's right," Britt confirmed.
Simon drummed his fingers on the receiver. "We can't afford to go all the way back to London now. We'd never be able to catch Warlock and his men that way—they'd have too much time to hide the evidence."
Britt frowned. "Evidence?"
"I'll explain in a moment." Simon picked up the phone. "Mobile operator? Get me Whitehall 1212."
Britt's frown deepened.
"Scotland Yard," came the muffled answer, to Simon's visible relief.
"Special Branch," Simon said. "Cdr. Richardson."
"I'm afraid Cdr. Richardson's not in," replied the receptionist.
"Then get him at home," Simon ordered. "This is urgent."
"Who shall I say is calling, please?"
"Simon Templar."
"One moment, please, Mr. Templar."
"I say, look," Miss Klein whispered, putting on her glasses and pointing to the monitor as a police car pulled up behind the car they'd left.
"I doubt that's the real police," Britt whispered back. "Stop here, Kato."
In fact, none of the four men who got out and circled the abandoned car were in uniform. One was in a suit but wasn't wearing a hat to hide the fact that he was going bald, and the other three were in casual civilian clothes. There was no audio with the scanner's video feed, so Britt couldn't hear what the men were saying, but they seemed to be arguing about what to do now that Simon and Miss Klein had escaped the car trap.
"That's Warlock," Miss Klein whispered, pointing to the balding man, who seemed to be in charge. "Or at least he's calling himself Warlock."
Before Britt could ask for more details, he heard a tinny voice on the phone answer, "Richardson."
"John? Simon Templar," said Simon.
"Hullo, Simon," said Richardson. "What can I do for you?"
"Do you have anyone in Birmingham at the moment?"
"Birmingham? Why?"
"I haven't time to explain."
"No, I don't have any operatives there, but I do know the chief of police."
"How soon can you get someone to the Northfield Clinic for Nervous Disorders?"
"Can I what?"
"I'm serious, John. Can you have someone there within the next half hour?"
"Honestly, Simon, unless you can give me a reason—"
"Hermetico," Simon interrupted.
Richardson paused. "What?"
"They're planning a heist at Hermetico."
"Simon—"
"There isn't time. I'll explain later."
Britt thought he heard Richardson sigh. "All right, I'll do what I can. Are you in Birmingham now?"
"Yes. I can meet you at the Yard in three hours."
"I can meet you in Oxford in an hour and a half. I'm sure the Eagle and Child won't have closed yet."
Simon nodded. "All right, the Eagle and Child in an hour and a half. Goodbye."
As Simon hung up, the man Miss Klein had identified as Warlock went back to the police car, reached through an open window, and pulled out a radio microphone. A moment later, an unfamiliar male voice came through the Black Beauty's radio on a band used by the police in Century City: "Warlock to SWORD, Warlock to SWORD. Operation Fox Hunt. Operation Fox Hunt."
"That doesn't sound good," said Kato.
"Especially considering that we're the foxes," Simon agreed. "What does SWORD usually do under these circumstances, darling?"
"Oh, any number of things," said Miss Klein. "Flamethrowers, tanks, death ray machines, infrared probes…."
"We'll wait to turn back until we're sure," Britt decided. "Even if we keep running silent, they could hear the sound of our tires."
Simon nodded. "True, although it mightn't hurt to turn around now so we can head back as soon as we see what they're bringing out and catch them before they get organized."
"Good idea. I'll send the scanner back up the road so we can see better." Britt did so, and Kato turned the car around.
"Well," Simon sighed. "I suppose we owe you an explanation before we get stuck in."
"That would be nice," Britt agreed. "This is the Amos Klein?"
"That's right," said Miss Klein proudly. "That's not my real name, of course—my publisher thought the books would sell better under a male name."
"I see." Britt could also see why Hugoson would insist that Miss Klein keep her real identity in the dark, given what her neighbor had said about her. Miss Klein didn't seem to have taken much convincing, either—Simon hadn't used her real name, so Britt suspected she hadn't told him, even after he'd earned her trust.
"This man calling himself Warlock is a fan," Miss Klein continued. "He likes SWORD so much he decided to make his own version of it."
"Needless to say, he's completely 'round the bend," Simon chimed in. "But you can't say that to his face, or he gets mad. Mind you, the others he's recruited to play the rest of the SWORD gang aren't much better."
"That's a bit hard on Galaxy, isn't it?" Miss Klein asked reproachfully.
"You're not the one she's decided she's in love with," Simon noted.
"Yes," she said thoughtfully, "I suppose that does color your opinion."
Britt decided not to ask—at least not in front of Miss Klein.
"Anyway," she continued, "Warlock's recreated SWORD Headquarters in that place he's calling a mental hospital, and he wants to break into a maximum-security storage facility called Hermetico, only he can't figure out how to get past the security measures. So he wants me to write a story telling them how to do it."
"Well, technically, he wants me to write the story," said Simon. "He's under the impression that I'm Amos Klein and that Amos here is my secretary. I've been able to bluff it out so far, but it was only a matter of time before they worked out who I really am. Hence tonight's escape."
Britt hummed thoughtfully, but before he could ask more questions, a panel van drove into the scanner's frame. "At least we know they're not bringing in a tank," he said, setting the scanner to follow the van. "Let's get closer, Kato—silent and dark."
"Yes, sir," Kato replied and drove back toward the Aston until the flashing light on the police car became visible. He then returned the scanner, and just about the time it shut off and sank back into its bay under the hood, the van pulled up behind the police car.
"Now, what are they doing?" Simon murmured as Warlock went back to open the van's back doors. A moment later, several figures got out of the van—and Britt could hear barking.
"Dogs?!" Miss Klein cried in dismay. "Oh, now we've had everything!"
"Everything except Little Eva crossing the ice," Simon deadpanned.
"The night is still young!"
"Let's go, Kato," said Britt.
Kato didn't need more instructions than that. He closed the distance to the van while the gang was still getting organized, switched the headlights on Bright while they were looking around for the car, and sprayed men and dogs with Hornet Gas before they could recover from the bright light. One man made a dash for the police car, but he went down before he could radio for more help.
"You two had better stay here," Britt told Simon and Miss Klein as he took out his gas mask and Kato put on his own. "I don't have enough masks to share, and it wouldn't be easy for you to help us tie them up without inhaling the gas yourself."
"Oh? Is it a nerve gas?" Miss Klein asked.
"No, nerve gas is too deadly," Kato replied and popped the trunk.
"It's just a knock-out drug, and it settles fairly rapidly," Britt added. "But it won't disperse very quickly unless the wind picks up. You'll be safe back here, but keep the windows rolled up." With that, he put on his own gas mask.
"We understand," said Simon before Miss Klein could protest or ask more questions. "Don't we, darling?"
"I suppose so," Miss Klein agreed reluctantly. "I wish I had my notebook, though."
Britt and Kato got out of the car at that point, closing the doors behind them as quickly as possible. Kato retrieved a roll of zip ties from the trunk while Britt started relieving the gang of their weapons. He was surprised that the twilight hadn't deepened any further, since it was almost midnight, but a quick glance upward showed the nearly-full moon inching across the southern sky, and that plus the fact that Birmingham was much farther north than Century City explained why it wasn't yet fully dark. That was a disadvantage in terms of getting back to the mental hospital unseen, but it meant headlights weren't absolutely necessary, and it also made it easier for Britt and Kato to see what they were doing as they restrained the unconscious humans and loaded men and dogs back into the vehicles they'd arrived in.
By the time that was done, the gas had settled enough that Simon could safely get out to drive the van. Britt took point in the police car; Simon followed; and Kato came last with Miss Klein in the Black Beauty. (Since they had no way to get into the Aston without using the Hornet Sting and the car might not be drivable even if they did, the men agreed to leave it for the police to deal with.) Britt did have to gas the guard at the gate, but otherwise they succeeded in reaching the main building without incident.
"We can leave this lot in the van," Simon whispered to Britt as they got out. "But we'd better bring Warlock and his henchmen back inside and leave them in the planning room. Too much plausible deniability otherwise."
Britt nodded and motioned for Kato and Miss Klein to get the doors while Simon and Britt carried the four unconscious members of SWORD into the house and through the foyer to a conference room that seemed to double as a command center. Once they had settled the men in chairs at the far end of the conference table, Simon had Britt help him flip a section of the tabletop at the near end to reveal a 3D model of a compound surrounded by barbed wire fence—"Hermetico," Simon whispered and popped the model open to reveal a cutaway section. "Converted coal mine in North Wales. Warlock won't be able to write off the tip as the ravings of a mental patient once the police see that."
"Mm," Britt agreed at the same volume. "Anything else we need to secure while we're here?"
"I don't know. There are offices, but I don't know where they are or where Galaxy and the Bishop sleep. The house has no central heating, so we can't simply put Hornet Gas through the vents." Simon glanced around and went over to a grille above a computer. "In fact, this is the only ventilation grille I've seen—and Warlock did say something about there being torture equipment in the cellar. There may not be anyone down there right now, but it's worth knocking them out if someone is."
"All right." Britt put a fresh canister of Hornet Gas into the gas gun, handing the partial one to Simon for the moment, then pressed the muzzle of the gun against the grille and sprayed the whole canister into the vent. He could hear distant coughing and thuds as the gas did its work. "Now," he whispered as he put the partial canister back in the gun, "where's the entrance?"
Simon shook his head. "I don't know—but if this is the cellar vent, the door must be close by."
Britt looked at the floor and noticed some scratch marks in front of a lamp that stood in a niche across the room from the grille. He snapped open the Hornet Sting and aimed it at the wall, but he didn't need to turn it to full power. After only a second, the Sting's beam triggered a hidden mechanism that slid the lamp forward and opened the door at the back of the niche.
"We can leave the rest to the police," he decided and closed the Sting. "Let's go."
Simon nodded, and they went back out to the foyer just as Kato and Miss Klein, who was brandishing a pencil and notebook, came running softly down the right side of the main split staircase. Before they got to the last step, however, a sleepy female voice from the left side of the staircase called, "Amos? What's going on?"
"Why, Galaxy!" Simon replied with what Britt recognized as false cheerfulness. "What are you doing up?"
"I thought I heard something," said the female voice, and a curvy blonde rounded the corner of the left-side landing, still tying a slinky bathrobe around her sheer pajamas. "I couldn't sleep anyway with all the barking and crashing and yelling earlier. What are you and Miss Darling doing out of your suite, and who's this?"
"Oh, a new investor, just arrived. Warlock wanted me to meet him. This is Galaxy Rose from Volcano Seven," Simon added for Britt's benefit.
Britt gave Galaxy a dispassionate once-over. "I see." Even half-awake, she seemed smarter than poor Carol Henley, more capable of playing the featherbrain to hide her true intelligence. He'd have to ask Simon later what he thought of her—of course, as Miss Klein had pointed out, Simon's opinion was probably colored heavily by the fact that Galaxy had been throwing herself at him.
Galaxy frowned and hurried the rest of the way down the stairs. "New investor? But Warlock didn't say anything to me about it, and he's not in the books—I'd remember."
"Not in the books yet, you mean," Simon said. "Neither is Hermetico."
"Yes, but—but—"
Before she could panic and go for an alarm, Britt gave her a faceful of Hornet Gas. Simon held his breath and caught her, then laid her on the stairs.
"Don't you want her with the others?" Kato asked quietly.
"No, not really," Simon answered just as quietly. "She did help us somewhat, and she wasn't involved in the planning of the heist."
"Whoever she really is," Miss Klein added, "if Warlock was following the books in the way he recruited the rest of SWORD, he may truly have been forcing her to work for him because of her father's debts."
"He had promised her a million pounds for her part in the robbery, though," Simon noted. "She's not a complete innocent. All the same, she shouldn't be caught in the planning room."
Kato still zip-tied Galaxy's wrist to a baluster just in case she woke up before the police arrived, and then they started out toward the Black Beauty. Unfortunately, several guards were circling the car as they came out, and while Britt was able to gas their dogs, the men gave Britt, Kato, and Simon cause to demonstrate to Miss Klein what a real hand-to-hand fight looked like. She was still scribbling shorthand notes when the last guard went down and Simon steered her into the back seat.
"Are you all right, Miss Klein?" Britt asked as Kato sped away from the house, still silent and dark, passing a couple of police cars on the way.
"All right?!" she echoed excitedly. "This has been the best night of my life!"
And she went back to scribbling notes as Britt looked over her head at Simon, who shrugged and settled in for the drive to Oxford.
.
* For US readers: "fancy dress" is a term for costumes worn to a costume party or masquerade, which usually implies wearing a mask. (The party Abel Marcus hosts in Green Hornet "Crime Wave" would be considered a fancy dress party in the UK.)