A/N: Again, try to picture 'Season 4 Roschel'. They still had a long way to go.

Rachel charged through the entrance as she made her way through the church. She only had one thing on her mind. She had to find Ross before it was too late.

Exposed brick speckled the walls.. but not in an aesthetic and trendy way. The space looked like the scene of some sort of demolition. Rocks, actually more like large pieces of wall and foundation, were in piles around the perimeter. There were tiny Christmas lights covering every wall, creating a romantic ambience on top of the destruction of the surfaces. Greenery and candles were placed throughout the ceremony area that added to the glow of the room and disguised the mess behind it. The scene was a perfect mix between a disaster area and a fairy tale. Rachel knew there was more to this story but right now she didn't care. Her eyes were focused towards the end of the aisle and she was suddenly unable to move.

"My god. You...you look beautiful."

"Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. It's bad luck."

"You know what, I think we've had all the bad luck we're going to have."

From across the room, Rachel could see Ross and Emily kissing and whispering to each other. They looked happy. Rachel's eyes began to well with tears as she realized how foolish she had been. Before she had time to turn around, Emily left her embrace with Ross and walked away out of sight. Suddenly Ross turned around and their eyes met. They were the only two people in the room now. He seemed shocked by her presence.

"My God. Rachel!" he said, his voice full of surprise. Ross walked towards her and grabbed her hands as he kissed her lightly on the cheek. "You're here. I can't believe it."

Rachel was still processing everything happening and realized how much she was suddenly aware of her sloppy track pants and tank top. Wanting to play it cool, but not knowing how else to react to the moment, she let out a small giggle.

"What happened? Why are you here?" Ross asked with concern in his voice.

Rachel was unable to collect her thoughts. All of a sudden her words emerged on their own. "Well I just came…" Suddenly it hit her how attractive Ross looked in that tuxedo. She puts her hand on his chest briefly. "I just needed to tell you…" She looked into his eyes again and smiled. His deep brown eyes had the ability to cut right into her soul. She took a deep breath in a last attempt to maintain composure. Suddenly, she was struck with that familiar yet fleeting sense of clarity and knew what she had to do.

"I'm still in love with you, Ross."

His eyes shifted and his face froze in time, leaving his mouth slightly ajar. She could tell he had barely even begun to process her words.

"I know I shouldn't be telling you this right now. But I uh.." Rachel cleared her throat. "I just couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if I never got the chance to tell you how I feel."

Ross still hadn't moved. She wondered if he was even listening.

"I'm sorry. I know this is really stupid. I'm such an idiot. I think I'm just gonna go.." Her voice trailed off as she turned to walk away. She had to get out of there as soon as possible. She didn't want him to see her completely lose it.

"No, Rach, wait!" His voice cracked as he grabbed her by the arm to spin her back around. "I'm sorry..I just, I didn't expect to see you here. But you, you still..", he paused. "You still love me?" His words, spoken so softly. Thousands of reeling emotions were overflowing in his voice and she could tell they were affecting his ability to say much else.

"Well, yeah. I don't think I ever stopped." Rachel's next words began flowing with much more conviction this time. "Everything big that has ever happened between us has always come out in some sort of big grand gesture, and I thought well maybe that's just us. Maybe that's who we are. So I got on a plane and came to London and here I am", she paused. The tears were starting to flow freely from her eyes now.

Ross softened as he continued to hold her gaze. He gently reached up to wipe a tear from her cheek.

"Rach, I, I don't know what to say." He looked away. "We went through Hell for like a year. I never thought I was ever going to get over you. And then after everything that happened at the beach, it all just happened all over again. After that I thought there was no chance of us ever getting back together again. So I just uh, I made myself."

The mood was shifting and Rachel could sense it. "You made yourself?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I made myself get over you. You made it pretty clear that you didn't want to be with me. I had no other choice. It hurt too much to wait around wondering if we'd ever figure it out again."

She met his eyes again, the eyes that peered into her soul before, but now looked distant, painful, and somehow, darker. She began to get visibly defensive, but he continued before she could speak first.

"And then, well I met Emily. And we're really great together. I'm finally happy again."

Her heart sunk and she was unable to speak. That was her answer.

All of a sudden, Ross furrowed his brow and looked away. "Why do you do this to me? First you showed up when I was with Julie to tell me you had feelings for me. And, and now you're showing up on my wedding day to say it again! I can't keep doing this, Rachel. Somehow I always end up hurt. It's not fair. It's too hard!"

Rachel became defensive as she snapped back at his remark with conviction in her voice. "Oh, you think this is too hard? Well, excuse me for trying. You know, maybe that's our problem! We sat around for a year and wondered what each other was thinking because we were too damn afraid to say anything. The only time we ever say what we're really feeling we end up hurting each other! You know what, Ross? It's fine. Be with Emily! I hope you have a great life together!" With that last word, she quickly turned around and made her way out of the chapel. Her surroundings became blurry but she could faintly make out the sound of Ross calling her name from behind her. She couldn't turn around. She had to get out of there. She left the church and continued down the street. She had no idea where she was going, and she had no idea where she was in this unfamiliar city either. All she knew was that she couldn't stop.

She finally reached a park that seemed far enough away where she found a bench positioned out of the way under some trees. She collapsed onto it and melted into her tears for what felt like hours.