Chapter 12: Rift

Wednesday evening, Bokuto bounded up the stairs to Kageyama's and Hinata's Tezukayama home. Kageyama answered the door to Bokuto's "Hey, hey, hey, Kageyama! Hinata said you were making yakiniku [A/N: grilled meat], please say it's true!"

"Yes, Bokuto-san. Come in please." Kageyama led Bokuto into the same living room that he had picked Akaashi up for their first date. Bokuto warmed at the memory.

"Hinata is back in the kitchen. Have a seat here and we'll be out in a minute."

"I'll just come back with you if that's okay," replied Bokuto.

"Of course!" They found Hinata finishing up the yakiniku and the rest of the dinner. Bokuto greeted him "Hey, Chibi-chan! Thanks for inviting me over."

"Sure," replied Hinata. They offered their guest a drink and talked for a short time before moving to the dining room to eat.

"Where's Natsu?" asked Bokuto after observing the table was set for only three people.

"With a friend," responded Hinata. They began eating, with Hinata and Bokuto talking about their matches and practice while Kageyama just observed Bokuto looking for signs of what his husband had warned him about. The ace did seem a bit jittery but otherwise not really any different that Kageyama could tell. But then again, Kags didn't know him as well as Hinata did. When the volleyball talk waned (finally, thought Kageyama), the conversation turned to Akaashi.

"So how are things with you and Akaashi, Bokuto-san?" asked Kageyama. Bokuto looked up from his plate, his eyes shining.

"Oh, great! But I miss him."

"How are you two doing with the long-distance thing?" A shadow fell over Bokuto's face but only momentarily.

"Fine," he said and didn't elaborate.

Kageyama then asked, "Hinata said you haven't been sleeping well. Still having trouble?" Bokuto didn't look up to meet their eyes.

"I'm fine." Kageyama and Hinata shared a look, and Kageyama then said, ""I'm going to get the dessert. You two stay here, I'll be right back."

When the two friends were left alone, Hinata decided it was time to confront his friend. He was dreading the conversation, but he was dreading the aftermath of not having the conversation even more.

"Bokuto-san. How are you? I've been worried about you." Bokuto looked up to meet his friend's gaze but only briefly, then averted his eyes.

"I'm fine, Hinata. Really."

"Have you slept?"

"No, not really." There was a long pause.

Hinata continued, carefully and gently, "I know what's going on." Bokuto looked up sharply and looked intensely at Hinata over the table. His hand started tapping.

"I'm fine."

"I don't think you are." Another minute passed in silence. Bokuto rubbed his face and up into his hair with one hand, leaving his gray and black locks sticking up in places.

"It's fine, Hinata."

"Does Akaashi know?" At this point, Bokuto popped up from his seat, clearly agitated. He began pacing a bit in the small room.

"No," he responded, again averting his eyes from his friend's scrutiny.

"Bo, you have to tell him."

"No!" yelled Bokuto as Kageyama was reentering the room carrying dessert. He paused and looked with concern at his husband, who quietly waved him forward.

"Bo," Hinata said very quietly and with great care. "You have to tell him. You can't hide this from him."

Bokuto turned abruptly and pinned Hinata with an intense glare. It appeared he was trembling. "Hinata, I can't," Bokuto's voice was hoarse. "If I tell him, he'll leave me. They always do."

Hinata rose to approach his friend and offer comfort. He was indeed trembling and Hinata's heart constricted at witnessing the torture his friend was experiencing.

"Bo. He's not going to leave you. He loves you."

"No!" Bokuto yelled again, making Hinata flinch and drawing Kageyama to his feet instinctively to protect his husband if necessary.

Hinata tried again, speaking softly. "Bo. He needs to know."

"No," Bokuto said with a bit less force as he turned and paced some more. "It will be fine. I'll just ride it out."

"You know that's not how this is going to play out. You can't just ride it out. C'mon."

"No!" Bokuto yelled again and Kageyama took another step closer to Hinata. He had never seen Bokuto violent, but he was clearly agitated and growing more unstable by the minute and Kageyama was not going to take any chances. Bokuto now seemed to be talking half to himself, muttering "If I tell him, he'll leave. I can't lose him."

Hinata tried again, "Bo, we will get through this, but Akaashi needs to know in order to help you."

"No!" yelled Bokuto yet again with more force, this time raising all of Kageyama's hackles and drawing him right to Hinata's side. "No! If I tell him he'll leave me! Is that what you want? Do you want him to leave me? That's why you're doing this, isn't it? You want to see me miserable!"

Hinata responded defensively, "Of course not! I'm your friend. We're your friends. We're here for you. But you can't keep this from him!"

Bokuto practically growled in frustration, "I CAN'T TELL HIM! I can't believe you're trying to break us up! I thought I could trust you. I'm leaving. This is bullshit." He turned to leave and Hinata went to grab at his friend's arm, but Kageyama stopped him, afraid of Bokuto's response. "Let him go," he said softly and Hinata dropped his hand in defeat and turned to cry in his husband's arms.

Wednesday night was much like the previous few nights, with Bokuto sleeping little, if any, and Thursday was similar to the last few days. Akaashi's worry about his boyfriend had been steadily increasing by the hour and he was anxious to see Bokuto the next day to talk face-to-face and figure out what was really going on.

Thursday night the team had another match and Akaashi watched on TV again, this time looking closely for any different behaviors or signs from his lover. Bokuto seemed to be pretty much like he was two nights ago - super animated, excessively egging on the crowd, and full of energy. The ambiguous unease Akaashi started to feel a couple of days ago was now sprouting into a seedling of concern, maybe even alarm. Though he still couldn't quite figure out exactly what he was seeing, he felt like some inkling or understanding was starting to take shape in his mind. But he needed to see Bokuto and figure it out.

They facetimed after the game, as was their habit, and talked about their day. Because the team had a bye weekend, Bokuto was coming to Tokyo on the bullet train.

"I'm so excited for tomorrow, Kaashi! I'll be there around one o'clock."

"I'm excited too, Bokuto-san, but I have meetings all afternoon. I'm not going to be able to see you until I get back to my apartment around four or five o'clock, okay? So just come here and hang out until I get home. I'll get away from work as soon as I can."

"Okay, Kaashi. I'll see you soon. Love you."

"I love you too."

Akaashi stayed awake a long time, just staring at the ceiling and trying desperately to put together the scant few pieces of the puzzle he had. Although he should be anticipating Bokuto's visit, instead he felt a sense of dread and foreboding. He finally slept, but in a fitful slumber, distressed about what the next day would bring.

At 1:30 Friday, Akaashi was in a meeting with several executives when he heard a commotion from outside his office. He and Kageyama shared a questioning look but tried to ignore the noise. Shortly, however, the noise level wrose and Akaashi's heart began pounding in his chest. That was Bokuto's voice.

"Um, I'm very sorry. I need to step out for a minute to take care of something urgent. I'll be back soon." He glanced worriedly at Kageyama, whose eyes reflected Akaashi's own fear. When Akaashi stepped outside his office, he was amazed and perplexed to see Bokuto holding a bouquet of flowers and practically arguing with Akaashi's administrative assistant.

"He's in a meeting, sir. If you'll have a seat…"

"I need to see him now! It's important. I'm his boyfriend! Please tell him I'm here!"

Akaashi approached the feuding pair and put a soft hand on Bokuto's arm, saying "Bokuto-san? What are you doing here?" Bokuto turned and grinned widely at his boyfriend, embracing him into a big hug and saying, "I missed you so much."

Akaashi briefly returned the hug, but then led his lover to a nearby conference room, closing the door behind them. Bokuto turned again and drew Akaashi in for a kiss. "These are for you. Do you like them?"

Akaashi pulled away, a bit angry and a lot confused. "Yes, I do. But why are you here? I told you I have meetings and you were supposed to go to my apartment!" Bokuto looked stricken.

"I just came to see you. What's wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong with it, but I'm in a meeting. I'm at work! And I can't see you now. It's unprofessional!" Bokuto's gold eyes darkened a shade and Akaashi was startled to see what looked like anger in that piercing gaze.

"What's wrong? These aren't good enough for you? Did you want some fancy present? Fine, pretend I didn't bring these!" Bokuto roughly chucked the flowers in a nearby trash can, drawing a surprised gasp from Akaashi, who took a step forward and opened his mouth but was unable to respond before his angry boyfriend continued with his tirade.

"Or is it that I'm not good enough for you? Are you ashamed of me? Ashamed that people might know we're together? Do you not want your business associates to see you're involved with some dumb jock?" The venom in Bokuto's words felt like a knife through Akaashi's heart. He had never ever seen his boyfriend like this, angry and throwing around crazy allegations. He was acting totally unreasonable, totally unlike himself.

"Bokuto, what the hell is going on with you?" he almost yelled, but still managed to control his voice. "I told you I'm working and we AGREED you'd meet me at my place. What the fuck is this?"

Bokuto was really angry now. "Fuck off! I'm leaving. No one will have to know about me," he hissed with noxious hostility. He grabbed at the door and roughly threw it open, before rushing past the secretary's desk and out to the elevators. Akaashi just stood transfixed, momentarily unable to process what had just happened. His mind was reeling and he wanted to chase after Bokuto and fix this, but he was in the middle of a fucking meeting, for fuck's sake. He had to get back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to steady himself before walking out of the conference room. He knew his administrative assistant was staring with disbelief and curiosity, but Akaashi purposefully avoided looking in her direction and tried to mentally shake away that horrid conversation before reentering his office.

Akaashi was able to leave work just before four o'clock and he rushed home to his apartment, anxious and worried about his boyfriend. When he stepped off the elevator, he attempted to calm his thudding heart, took a deep breath, and opened the door. Bokuto was sitting on the sofa, surrounded by shopping bags. He jumped up and ran to Akaashi, grabbing him by both shoulders.

"Akaashi! You're finally home! I'm so glad. I missed you!" Bokuto drew a very confused Akaashi in for a quick hug and then continued excitedly, "I was shopping and I got you some stuff. Want to see? First, I got you this blue sweater because I really thought it would match your eyes. "Let's see," he said, holding it up to Akaashi's shoulders. "Yeah! It does make your eyes look really pretty, Kaashi. I hope you like it."

Akaashi mumbled a response, still stunned, as Bokuto went back to another shopping bag. "I also got this stuffed owl for you! Isn't he the cutest thing? I know I'm the one who likes owls more than you, but I thought when I'm not here you could look at him and it would remind you of me. Do you like him, Kaashi?"

"Yes," Akaashi managed to say, still dumbfounded.

"Okay, I saved the best for last," Bokuto continued gleefully as he pulled a box out of a small blue bag with the name of a jewelry store on the side. Akaashi inhaled sharply. What the fuck is going on? He was trying to keep up, but was really thrown off here. Wasn't Bokuto angry with him? What was happening?

Bokuto opened the box to reveal a beautiful designer watch. "I thought this looked like something you'd wear. Something elegant enough for you. Do you like it?"

Akaashi was again (or maybe still?) shocked at this turn of events. He looked at the watch, which was indeed very sleek and sophisticated, and then back up at Bokuto's searching eyes. Akaashi's brain was churning furiously, but he couldn't seem to make sense of the bizarre situation unfolding in front of him.

He stuttered, "It's … beautiful, Kotaro, but I don't understand…"

"What don't you understand? I got you a present." Bokuto looked wounded.

"I'm confused… Kotaro, what is going on? You came to my office. You got angry and left! You told me to fuck off!"

Something seemed to snap and Bokuto's demeanor shifted again. He said quietly, almost menacingly. "You… are so … unappreciative. I got you all this stuff. FOR YOU!" he yelled, making Akaashi flinch and instinctively step back. "And you are NEVER SATISFIED! Are you? Nothing I do is EVER GOOD ENOUGH!"

Akaashi was too overwhelmed, and frankly, too scared to speak. He felt waves of aggression emanating from Bokuto and was suddenly acutely aware of his boyfriend's strength and physicality that he certainly could not match. Akaashi's blood felt like ice flowing through his veins. He was scared of his boyfriend. He gulped and tried frantically to find words to defuse the situation, but the knot in his throat prevented him from making any sounds.

"I'm done," growled Bokuto, grabbing his suitcase and shopping bags. "This is over. I'll never be fucking good enough for you!"

He had reached the door and had Akaashi stepped forward, eyes widened with confusion and hurt, still trying to process the hurtful words. "Kotaro… what? …"

Bokuto never looked back as he exited the door, slamming it behind him. Akaashi was frozen to the spot, disbelieving, shocked, heart shattering into millions of pieces. After a few seconds, he collapsed to the floor, a sobbing, pitiful pile of confusion and anguish.

[A/N: gah! i know this is so much angst! i promise there will be a happy ending!]