Chapter 14: Help

After a while, Akaashi wasn't sure how long, he noticed the sun was setting and the room was darkening. He was still lying unmoved above the wet puddle of tears, which had unsurprisingly grown larger since he last looked.

Concepts were slow to congeal in his addled brain, but his first coherent thought was: Should I get up or just die here? He remained unmoving for a while, contemplating that question, which in his current defeated, broken state, seemed a difficult one to answer.

More time passed. It got darker. His second coherent thought was that he needed to pee. His third was wondering if it even mattered if he got up to use the bathroom or just emptied his bladder right here and now.

Still more time passed. The darkness was complete. Akaashi's next coherent thoughts were He's gone... There's that gaping hole in my chest again. And then, I still don't understand.

Finally, after what was surely hours, Akaashi dragged his exhausted, damaged body into a sitting position. He decided, with all of his tears spent and his heart ripped from his chest, that he would use the bathroom. It was the first thing in a long line of things he would have to do without Bokuto.

With effort, he pulled himself to his unsteady feet, felt around for the light switch, and turned on the lamp, giving himself an immediate blinding shock that caused him to cover his eyes in self-defense. He stood for a moment, making sure he felt balanced enough to walk, and slowly, laboriously made his way to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he emerged feeling only marginally relieved and realized he was very, very thirsty. He shuffled to the kitchen and got himself a glass of water, leaning against the counter to steady himself as he tilted his head to drink.

Okay, he thought to himself, squinting as if that would help focus his thought process. I used the bathroom. I drank water. I can do what's next. What's next? I should call Kageyama.

He turned slowly from the counter, not wanting to make himself dizzy and looked from his current position for his phone. He spotted it lying in front of the sofa, several meters from where he stood. I can do this, he thought, and carefully and deliberately moved his body toward the device. When he picked it up, he forced himself not to look at the cruel texts from his ex-boyfriend (oh God!) and instead, sat on the nearby sofa and called Kageyama. He held the phone with quivering hands as he waited for his friend to answer.

"Hey, Akaashi. What's up?" answered Kageyama casually. Akaashi opened his mouth but all that came out was a croak. Kageyama perked up immediately.

"Akaashi? What's wrong?" Back in Osaka, Hinata heard the change in Kageyama's tone and immediately snapped his head in his husband's direction to listen.

Akaashi tried again to speak, realizing his throat was sore and scratchy from all the crying. "Kageyama… He's … he's gone… He came and we fought… and he left… and he said he never wants to see me again!" The last part was a tortured wail.

Kageyama inhaled sharply and Hinata's face dropped in despair. "Shit! Okay, I'm sure you two can patch it up. It will be fine. Where is he now?" Hinata rose, now clearly distressed, and approached his husband, leaning down next to his ear and phone to listen with him.

"He's… I think he's on his way back home. I'm here… I'm in my apartment. I'm … I'm alone," he whimpered, making both of his friends' hearts break as they shared a troubled look.

Kageyama responded, "Akaashi, I am going to come to you, okay? But… " he looked at the time and realized the lateness, "but I can't get there till tomorrow morning. Are you going to be alright?" Akaashi didn't answer and the two husbands again glanced at each other, this time even more distraught than before.

"Akaashi? Are you going to be alright?" Kageyama, now more than a little alarmed, held his breath waiting for his friend's response.

Akaashi didn't answer directly but instead said, "Kags, I'm really tired."

Kageyama closed his eyes, feeling a sharp pain in his chest on behalf of his devastated friend. "I know. Do you think you can sleep? And I'll be there in the morning?"

"Mmmm. Yeah, maybe..." said Akaashi without conviction, his voice sounding far away from the phone.

"Keiji, listen to me. You are going to go to bed and sleep. You are going to put your phone next to you and if anything is wrong before I get there, you are going to call me. Do you understand?"

Akaashi croaked out a soft moan. "Mmmm. Okay."

Kageyama was not convinced. "Akaashi, what are you going to do right now?"

After a brief pause and a deep breath, Akaashi answered softly, "I'm going to sleep. I'm going to call you if I need you."

"And I'll be there in the morning," added Kageyama.

"And you'll be here in the morning." Kageyama looked at Hinata, seeming to ask without words, Do you think he'll be okay? Hinata sort of shrugged and sort of nodded. It's not like there was much else they could do besides trust that he would survive unharmed for twelve hours.

"Okay, go to sleep now," Kageyama encouraged gently.

Akaashi was fading, all of the physical and emotional exhaustion bearing down on his tired body and broken soul at once. "I'm going to sleep. Thank you, Tobio."

"Anytime, my friend. I'll see you tomorrow."

They disconnected the call and Akaashi managed to stand up with what little energy he could muster. He shuffled into his bedroom and collapsed on the bed, not bothering to change out of his clothes. His head was pounding like a sledge-hammer and his muscles felt like he had finished a marathon. He laid there replaying the words over and over in his head, He's gone, He's gone, He's gone, until exhaustion finally overcame him and he dropped somewhat reluctantly into a dreamless sleep.