Chapter 23: Day 6

Atsumu arrived early Friday morning to pick up Bokuto for practice. Akaashi was happy to have some time to himself. He grabbed his bag and dug around until he found his razor. Just like Bokuto, he needed a shave, but he didn't want to take out the razor when Bo was around. He purposefully avoided thinking about why.

As he shaved, showered and dressed, he considered the progress his boyfriend had made in the last couple of days. Bokuto seemed less depressed and had more energy. He was also eating regularly, which he hadn't been doing for a while. And going back to team training, that was huge. Akaashi mentally calculated the days - it was six days since he arrived. Hinata had said a week, maybe two. They were almost at the one week mark, at least halfway through, so maybe things would improve from now on. Akaashi prayed it was true.

Bokuto arrived home with Atsumu in tow just before 11:00. Akaashi was at the kitchen table on his laptop catching up on some work. Bo came in, dropped his duffle bag by the door and took off his shoes, and Atsumu followed suit.

"How was practice?" Akaashi asked, looking up from his computer. Bo came over to where Akaashi was sitting and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead before he even realized what he was doing. They both paused for a few seconds at the awkwardness, but then Bokuto said "Fine," and went to the sofa.

"Would you like to stay for lunch Miya-san?"

"Yeah, if ya don't mind havin' me. It's pretty borin' and lonely at my place." Akaashi noticed that Atsumu looked a little sad at that admission.

"I'm sorry," responded Akaashi. "You've not been seeing anyone?"

"Nah. Too busy with volleyball. Story of my life," he added with a smirk.

Akaashi turned to Bokuto and said, "So tell me about how practice went."

Bokuto responded, "I definitely lost a little endurance, but I felt pretty good. I got some spiking practice in and worked a little on serves and receives. I won't play tonight but I think I'll be okay to play Sunday."

"That's great, Bokuto-san," remarked Akaashi with a genuine smile. "I'm so happy to hear that."

After lunch, Atsumu left to get ready for tonight's match, and Akaashi talked Bokuto into going on another walk. This time they walked to Dotonbori and got lost among the people and activity of the area. Almost as if agreeing silently, they revisited several of the places they had gone to on their first date. They stopped at Ebisubashi Bridge, just like they had that one night almost three months ago. Again, as they had done the first time, they stopped halfway across to admire the view of the canal. Neither spoke for a while; they just looked out over the water and took in the sights, lost in their own thoughts.

After a while, Bokuto broke the silence. "Akaashi, we need to figure this out."

"Figure what out?" Akaashi asked, still looking out over the canal. Bokuto turned his head to stare at Akaashi's profile.

"I don't want to put you through this. Of course I want to be with you, but because I love you - and you know I love you SO MUCH - I don't want to hurt you. You have to get that, why I'm saying we need to break up. You get it, right?"

Akaashi didn't answer right away but continued looking straight ahead. After a minute, Bokuto was not even sure he was going to reply.

At length Akaashi replied, "Do you remember what we talked about here on our first date? You told me about your family, and I didn't tell you at the time because we had just met, but I pictured you as being a really great father someday. The picture of you with kids that I have in my head, it's beautiful. It's fun and full of love and laughter." He paused but continued to gaze straight ahead.

Finally, he turned to meet Bokuto's gaze and his blue eyes showed that same determination that Bo had become accustomed to seeing over the last week.

"I still think that. I still want a future with you. I still think you'd be a great dad. And I know. I KNOW we can figure it out during the bad times. But I'm not willing to give up the good times, Kotaro, for a little bit of bad. And you shouldn't be either. Because that's what love is. Unconditional love."

Bokuto could not manage to tear his eyes from his lover's. He felt like his heart might burst and his eyes started to water. When Akaashi said these things, he could almost believe that everything would be alright, that he was worth something.

For a few moments, Bo was unable to speak because of the knot in his throat and he had to look away. He wanted to believe. But. There was always a 'but'.

"You make it sound easy," Bo responded at last.

"No, it won't be easy. But nothing worthwhile ever is." More silence.

"I just don't know," Bo finally said, looking wistfully over the canal.

"I know. I think you've believed for a long time that this illness makes you somehow unworthy of love. But Kotaro, you deserve love, just like anybody else. When you believe that, I'll know you've come back to me for real."

Bokuto still could not meet Akaashi's gaze. He was holding back tears and knew he could not speak if he tried. So he just nodded.

They stood there in silence for a few more moments, until Akaashi said, "We should probably get back if we're going to watch the match on TV."

The walk back to the apartment was very quiet. Akaashi was wondering if he'd gotten through to Bo and praying that his words somehow penetrated that shell that his boyfriend had erected around his heart. Bokuto was just playing Akaashi's words over and over in his head. You deserve love. You deserve love. You deserve love.

They were both seated on the sofa to watch the volleyball match, but this time, next to each other rather than at opposite ends. The match was close, and into the third set, the teams fought hard and there were several lead changes. In the end, though, MSBY lost. When they turned off the match, Bokuto was disappointed for his team, but anxious to get back to playing.

"I need to get back to playing. I'm excited for Sunday's match."

"I'm excited for you," Akaashi responded with a smile. "Though I think you'll have to shave that scruff off before then."

Bokuto blushed a little. "You don't like it?"

"Oh, I like it. It makes you look ridiculously sexy. I just thought you'd want to shave before the game."

"Oh, I look sexy do I?" Bo grinned.

Akaashi grinned back, "Don't get too full of yourself."

"I bet you're just dying to see what this stubble feels like, aren't you?"

"No."

"Liar."

Silence.

"You could kiss me and find out," Bo said tentatively, making Akaashi look sideways.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah." Both were smiling now. Akaashi scooted closer to his boyfriend, filling the space between them. Then he reached up with one hand and ran it along Bokuto's jaw, making the ace close his eyes for a moment at the intimacy of the touch. Then Akaashi leaned closer and placed a soft kiss on Bo's lips. Slowly, they both pulled back a little and looked each other in the eye. Akaashi managed a half smile.

"Well," asked Bokuto. "How's it feel?"

"Feels like home."