The next morning when she came down to breakfast she expected Malfoy to avoid her gaze, lest she question him about last night—not that she really cared enough to do that. She was surprised, however, when she glanced over at the Slytherin table, Malfoy was staring straight at her. It wasn't the same piercing gaze as the night before but more of a calculating look. She involuntarily squirmed from the attention. "Ignore it." She told herself and went to her house's table, purposely picking a seat with her back to him.
All through breakfast Malfoys stare burned into the back of her head. "Ok, maybe there was a moment," she thought "but so what that didn't erase the last five years of mutual hatred or decades of family feuding." What was he so fixated on? It didn't make sense to her. "Just ignore it" she schooled herself again "he's probably just trying to get you to pay him attention so he can pull some dumb stunt to try and embarrass you later. This too shall pass." However, when she came down for lunch he was again tracking her every move. He gazed at her like he was waiting for her to reveal something. What? Ginny didn't know.
This time it wasn't just her who noticed. "What'd you do to piss him off?" Asked Colin Creevey as he plopped into the spot across from Ginny.
"I don't know but he should get a hobby," Ginny said, trying to sound casual about the whole thing. Somehow 'We shared a weirdly close moment alone in a haunted bathroom.' didn't seem like the thing to share. Ginny again shifted uncomfortably under Malfoys questioning gaze.
Later that day when she passed him in the corridor, the same question lingered in his eye as he watched her walk past and at dinner that night. When she left to study in the library after, it wasn't ten minutes before he showed up there too. She began to feel defensive. She didn't know what had happened on Halloween, she didn't know why. She shot him a look back of "Can I help you?". He responded by simply raising a questioning, haughty eyebrow. Annoyed, uncomfortable, and distracted, she snapped her books shut, shoved them in her bag, and hiked off to Gryffindor tower where Malfoy couldn't follow.
The next three days were more of the same, Malfoy on her like a hawk, and her avoiding him in hopes of evading whatever game this was. He would look away quickly if he caught the attention of Snape or busy himself with something when another Slytherin walked by. As she left dinner that third night, she saw Malfoy get up too and start to follow. That's it! She had had it, she was going to confront him head-on in the entrance hall. Unfortunately, her friend Travis from Hufflepuff caught up with her before Malfoy could. "Hey, Ginny! Any chance you still have my Herbology textbook? I was thinking of getting Josie some sort of plant for our anniversary but I don't want what I get to give her like, third-degree burns or make her grow a second head, that might just ruin the moment?" He joked.
"Huh? Wha-? Oh, Yah." Ginny said, slightly distracted by the lurking Slytherin boy. "I can bring it by tonight, say like six-thirty?"
"Sounds great, I'll see you then" Travis gave her a quick fist bump and headed down to the dungeons, where the Hufflepuff common rooms were. When Ginny turned to check in on her lurker, he was mysteriously gone.
Later that night Ginny descended the many steps to the dungeons, humming quietly to herself one of her mom's old Celestina Warbeck records. "Mix a pinch of spice with a dash of charm" Hopping from step to step in time to the rhythm. Suddenly, someone stepped out from a side alcove to barely two inches in front of her. She skidded to a halt and let out a sharp "Oh!". She looked up, into the serious, pale, and pointed face of Draco Malfoy. "Merlin Malfoy! What the hell?
"Why haven't you told anyone?" He asked, his head held high, and cold blue eyes looked straight past her. Really?? These were his first words? And now he won't look at her? This guy was cracked.
"Why do you keep staring at me?" She shot back.
"I asked you first." He replied, lamely.
She sighed, taking a slight step back, and crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "Because it's not my business." She replied in an exasperated tone but also telling the truth.
He glanced down at her from the corner of his eye "So you haven't told anyone that I lost it on you like a maniac because 'it's not your business'?" His tone clearly said he didn't believe her.
"Yeah, I guess so." She said letting her arms fall. "Maybe I should have told someone about it because you've acted plenty like a lunatic since but look Malfoy... you… you just seemed to be going through something pretty... heavy and appeared to be beating yourself up about it." She spoke slowly, searching for the right words. "I've felt that…I just thought that... I shouldn't add to it." Malfoy looked at her like his answer finally clicked in place.
"You mean your first year?" He asked pointedly.
"Yes, like my first year." She snapped back, knowing full well he knew what his father had done. "So, your turn, what's with the leering?" Ginny asked again.
Malfoy considered her for a moment then opened his mouth to answer but before he could, they heard voices at the top of the stairs. She guessed they must be from his house because he quickly grabbed her shoulders and steered her against the cove from which he came. He had been careful to hide his eyeing her from the other Slytherins. "Be quiet and they won't see you." He whispered, his breath hot in her ear. Ginny understood, she knew anyone passing by would be majorly suspicious of a Weasley and a Malfoy casually chatting it up. She generally liked to know what was going on herself before having to answer to anyone else but his big reveal had just been interrupted so she had no explanation of why they were there. Hogwarts was a big castle but a small school, rumors traveled fast. She brushed her hair from view, hoping it wouldn't give her up. To anyone passing by, they were just a couple snogging before curfew.
She heard the voices get closer, they were two boys from Malfoy's class. Blaise Zambini and Theo Knott. As they passed by Theo let out a wolf whistle. Blaise called "That a boy Draco!"
Theo added "Looking to make a Malfoy heir tonight?"
Malfoy's cheek was next to hers, she felt his jaw clench and breathing quicken. Strange she thought, he didn't seem like the person to be bothered by a comment like this. The Boys laughed at each other and continued to their common room. Malfoy grabbed her wrist like a vice as soon as they were gone and pulled her up the stairs into the main entryway. Then up another flight of stairs, down a corridor, through a passageway, and into a classroom. The inch of dust that covered everything indicated it hadn't been used in a very long time.
"Once more, what the HELL, Malfoy?" She said rubbing her wrist where he had grabbed it.
"I come here when I need a private space to think." He said half explaining as he locked the door behind them. "They don't use it anymore so the chances of being bothered are rather slim."
"Ok, what are we doing here?" She asked, her tone making it clear his actions still seemed like those of someone unhinged.
He turned to face her, his gaze was fixed on the ground. One arm was crossed defensively over his chest, the other covering his mouth making it so Ginny had to lean in to hear him. "You were right." He said hoarsely and then paused. Ginny waited silently for him to go on. "When you said that it looked like I was going through something heavy. I have to do something… something I don't want to do…I have to do it because my father messed up… like PROPERLY messed up… and.. and I am my father's heir… So because I am a frigging Malfoy… because of that it has to be me" His breathing had begun to accelerate again. "I have to do this thing… and… and I don't know how to do it... but if I don't, I will lose everything and everyone… If I can do it, me and my family... We'll be safe… at least for a little while." His chest heaved with the effort of trying to convey his thoughts" I can't exactly tell you more… I shouldn't have even said this, I just… I don't know how much time I have left but it seems like everything I try doesn't work so really what have I got to lose..? " Ginny could see him shaking and terror welling in his eyes.
"Hey, Hey. It's ok, calm down." She said crossing to him and placing her hand over his heart again. His eyes found hers. Gradually his breathing slowed. Ginny knew Malfoy's home life wasn't as great as he always flaunted it as but this seemed a bit dramatic. Malfoy senior was a true snake not to be trusted but she also was quite certain Lucious would not use his precious heir for any of that. Ginny contemplated if this was teenage angst or something more. Cautiously, she asked "What does it have to do with me, Malfoy? Why—?"
"It's Draco, I'm Draco. More than just Malfoy blood" he replied, cutting her off, his shoulders tensing up again. This was the first time she had ever heard him renounce his family name and it quipped her attention.
"Ok, yeah, Draco." She said delicately, "What do you need from me?"
"You were right again…" he tried to explain aimlessly, still holding her gaze. "...It feels crushing. I thought I could manage at first but now I don't know if I want to or can even do it. But the pressure… That feeling overwhelms any hope I have of clear thought ...And without clear thought, I can't achieve what I need to…. it wasn't supposed to be like this… But… But then you came in that night and calmed me..." He said looking down at her hand on his chest and frowning with confusion and she let it drop from where it had rested "...for some reason… how you made me settle in the heat of it all… when I felt your touch... it felt like I knew it was all going to be ok. Like I knew I was ok… I think it's because you know what it is like to get forced into something… to… to not be in control of your actions… because of what happened your first year... and I get that, in your eyes, I may not deserve it but I think I need your help."
Now it was Ginny's turn to become flustered. "Are you being possessed?" she asked with blunt emotion.
"No...Not really"
"Then it's not the same." Said Ginny harshly. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. The memory of Tom pushed its way around her mind and the feelings of self-loathing from back then rushed forward from where she kept them hidden in the back. "No, I…I don't think I can help" She said, her voice filling with emotion "Your family is the reason I went through that, and despite that, I have controlled those memories and feelings for years but just barely...no thanks to you might I add." Her tone softened as she saw panic flit across his eyes. "I'm not some walking success story... if I help you…I Just…It could all come back so easily. The self-loathing, the bad thoughts, the worthless feeling, the guilt… I just can't. I'm sorry…"Ginny wasn't sure why she was sharing all this with him and decided to stop rambling. Shrinking away from him, she wrapped her arms around her small frame. "I doubt what you're going through is anything like being controlled by Voldemort anyway." She said defensively. The chill of the possibility of depression engulfed her. She knew none of that was her fault but the voice inside her head would always say otherwise. Her eyes darted around the room looking for an out and she moved towards the door.
"Wait!" He pleaded. He took a step towards her and gently placed his palm over her heart. His eyes once more bore into hers. Through her shock at his forwardness, she felt the dull warmth of his hand through her shirt. "It's not your fault, he can't hurt you anymore. I'm sorry for what my family did, I'm sorry for making it worse. Help me and I promise I'll make it up to you." he said calmly, staring deep into her eyes. Ginny could feel the reverberations of his words through his palm on her chest. For some reason that evaded all logic, she felt the truth in his words like she never had.
Before she could think she quietly whispered "ok, I'll try" he breathed a sigh of relief and cracked a small smile. The first genuine smile of his she had ever seen.
"Thank you." He said quietly. "You'll be more help than you know"
They sat on one of the old dusty desks for a while not saying anything.
Ginny broke the silence first asking "Why don't you ask someone who can actually help? You could go to Dumbledore or your head of house?"
Draco gave a deadpan chuckle. "Ah Gryffindors, always want to go to Dumbledore…" She scowled at him. He cleared his throat and continued in a serious tone "Snape knows, he wants to help but there isn't much he can do here, it has to be me."
"Oh, ok" was all she could say. It made her feel better to know at least one person of legal age was involved, especially an Order member if she was going in blind. "How can I help you, if I don't know what you need to do?" She asked, not even sure, where to start.
"Well, I kinda need someone to talk to… or not talk to at times I guess. Just your aura or presence helps."
"Sooo you just wanna start hanging out?" she asked dubiously
"What's so hostile about that?" he challenged.
"Isn't it going to look very odd if we start hanging out together all the time out of the blue?" She said asking the obvious.
"What if we meet here?" He asked, glancing around the dusty classroom. "Hardly anyone comes in here and we could always say peeves locked us in together if anyone did come across us."
"Yeah, ok. That could work. I have free 5th period on Thursday. Can you meet me here then?" She proposed, not yet comfortable with Malfoy setting all the terms.
"Yes, actually that works out great because I have fourth and fifth free. I could come right here after… doing my research" he said coyly.
"Anything I should bring?" she asked, still unsure of what exactly the goal of all this was.
"Just your award-winning personality red."
"Don't push your luck Malfoy… er… Draco" she corrected, seeing him tense. "If I get any sense that you'll be anything less than a perfect gentleman to me, I'll walk right out that door and it will be Snape's aura you'll be left with." He nodded in acknowledgment "Good, ok well, that's settled then. See you tomorrow." she said as she slid from the desk onto her feet. She hiked her bag over her shoulder and made for the door.
"Thanks again, Ginny." Came the quiet reply from behind her.
She turned her head back slightly and murmured "Goodnight, Draco" then slipped into the dark hallway.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. All characters, names and situations are the creation and property of J.K. Rowling and Universal Studios. I do not receive compensation for writing this story.