[Les Claypool]
I'm goin' down to South Park, going to have myself a time.
[Kyle and Stan]
Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation.
[Les Claypool]
Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind.
[Eric Cartman]
Ample parking day or night, people spouting: "Howdy, neighbor!"
[Les Claypool]
Headin' on up to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind.
[Tweek Tweak & Butters]
Our town is bigger dammit, right down to the little granite.
[Les Claypool]
So come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine!
(Abandoned W.a.s.p Oil refinery)
Dougie didn't know how he got himself in these messes. He instantly regretted joining this little crew as soon as he first walked into the oil refinery, but he knew that he couldn't walk away now.
Scott and those two petite freaks that he kept around were crazy. A day or so after he had first arrived here, he found several discarded plans by Scott that looks like they were from a Wes Craven movie.
He was wearing his old General Disarray costume. It was a bit snug since he hadn't worn it in nearly a year.
"Dougie."
Dougie turned around and saw one of the kids he had seen with Scott. He was wearing an all-blue costume with a tiny blue cape.
"Ya, what do you want?" Dougie asked.
The kid in Blue handed him a small black box. Dougie turned it around in his hand a few times before he finally put his hand on the lid. He was about to open it, but the kid in blue stopped him.
"Don't! I mean, Don't. This box is only meant to be opened once inside its intended target."
"Which is?"
The blue kid then got out his phone and showed Dougie the location,his eyes went wide as he saw the location, St.Philips Elementary.
(The Next day, St. Philp's Elementary school)
It was a cloudy day in New south Park. Everyone was running out of the school building and towards the Bus, or their parent's car to escape the heavy rain.
Jason White or Jason Black, as people now called him after being adopted by Token's parents, ran out to the bus but heard someone calling after him.
"Ack! Jason, hold on."
Jason turns around and saw his classmate, Tweek Tweak running up to him.
Tweek was wearing his purple rain poncho, and his usual spiky hair was now covering his eyes.
Tweek parted his hair away from his eyes and looked at Jason.
"Can we talk?" Tweek asked.
"Uh, sure, Tweek, but can we talk on the Bus?" Jason asked.
"Ack! Forget the bus. My dad can drop you off at home."
Tweek gestured for Jason to follow him back into the school.
The two ran into the school building and then into the relative seclusion of the Janitor's closet.
Tweek closed the door behind them, then smiled.
"So why exactly did you bring me in the janitor's closet, Tweek?" Jason asked.
"It's just you and four other kids now, Jason. You are in the final five." Tweek said excitedly.
Jason's eyes went wide as he heard this.
"R-really?" Jason asked.
Tweek smiled, then nodded.
"Me, Stan, Kyle, and Butters are going to make the final decision this Friday, and you'll be happy to know that the sixth member will most likely be you."
"You mean it, Tweek?"
Tweek nodded.
"There are still four other applicants, but I can get the guys to pick you; they already like you the most out of the other applicants."
"Well…is there anything I can do now to seal the deal?"
"No, stay yourself, and I promise you that you'll get the position."
"Thanks, Tweek. Hey, can I ask you a question?"
Tweek nodded.
"Why are you being so helpful towards me? Don't get me wrong, im grateful, but you and I never really hang out in the past. The only time we ever really hung around was when I was in Craig's clique, and even then, you and I didn't talk that much."
Tweek looked away for a moment.
Jason wasn't wrong. They didn't know each other very well, but that didn't worry Tweek. He owed Jason from back when they were both parts of Craig's clique.
"You may not remember this, Jason, but I owe you a favor back when we were in Craig's clique. Now, come on, my dad's car is probably in the parking lot now."
Tweek then took Jason by the wrist, and the two ran out of the school building.
Dougie was still in the Hall, taking his textbooks out of his locker when he felt his phone vibrate. He took it out and noticed the number ID read: unknown.
Dougie answered and heard Scott Tenorman's voice on the other end.
"Are you alone?" Scott asked.
"Yes…listen, im not sure I can do this."
"You can't chicken out now, Dougie. Remember, they spurned you not once but twice!"
"Ya, but that's not worth detonating some doomsday device in my school!"
"Who said it was a doomsday device? Open it up, and you'll see."
Dougie slowly opened the box, and to his, surprise saw a flash drive.
"I-its just a flash drive?"
"Yes, now go to the school computer lab and plug it into an active computer."
"But wait, if this is just a flash drive, then why was that kid in blue so weird about me not opening it?"
"Khan has always been Anxious around his work, now get to the computer lab!"
Dougie did as he was told and sprinted towards the computer lab. As he was about to open the door, he heard a familiar voice.
"Dougie, what are you doing?"
"Oh sht!" Dougie thought before turning around and seeing his teacher, Father Pierre, walking up to him.
"The internet at my house is out, so I just wanted to check some stuff online before I go home."
The Haitian priest looked disbelievingly at the Young boy.
"Well…all right, but you only have ten minutes before Im closing up the lab for the night."
Dougie nodded.
"I'll come back in ten minutes." father Pierre said before turning around and walking down the hall.
Dougie sighed in relief before opening the door, then turned on one of the computers.
Dougie called Scott again.
"Ok, I found a computer. What should I do now?"
"Plug it in and go home. The flash drive will do the rest."
"But what if father Pierre comes in and notices the flash drive?"
"Don't worry, even if it's unplugged now, there will be more than enough info leaked, and once everybody wakes up and finds out what information our buddy Eric spread, he'll be Hanged, drawn, and quartered!"
"Wait, how are you going to make everyone in town think this was Eric's doing?"
"Don't worry about that, Dougie. Just get out of there and await further instructions."
Dougie hopped down, and before he left the computer lab, he turned his head and looked back at the computer, and saw what was being uploaded.
"Dear God."
(Marsh Residence)
Jason, sally, Douglas, and Louis sat waiting in Stan's basement.
The four children had been told to wait there until Stan, Kyle, Tweek, Butters, and Cartman made their Decision. When the door opened, they all waited to see who it was, but were disappointed when it was just Leslie walking down to get a soda.
"How long have you guys been down here?" Leslie asked.
"Ten minutes," Sally said.
"Do you have any idea who they have picked?" Louis asked.
Leslie took a swig of coke then shook her head no.
"Sorry, but I haven't. I don't involve myself with my brother's group."
Leslie took another sip of her coke then looked back at the four.
"To be honest, I think Kyle, Tweek, and Cartman are bad influences on Stan, except Butters. I wish stan could be more like Butters."
The Door at the top of the stairs opened, and Stan, Butters, Kyle, Tweek, and Cartman came down.
"Beat it, Leslie. You are not part of this." Cartman said.
Stan lightly punched cartman in the right shoulder.
"Dude, don't tsk to my sister like that!" Stan said.
"Don't worry, boys; I'm leaving. I, Nelly, and the girls are going to see candyman."
"I don't remember asking you," Cartman said.
Leslie narrowed her eyes at cartman, and as she was walking back upstairs, she looked down and said to him.
"Cartman, I don't remember asking you to clog our toilet last week, but you did. Stan and i's parents had to pay extra for the plumber to get rid of the massive sh*t you left in our pipes!"
Leslie then slammed the door shut, and immediately Stan, Kyle, Butters, and Tweek began laughing.
"Stan's B*tch sister is lying. That never happened!" Cartman said.
"Ya, it did. I was there, remember? You blamed it on sparkey."
"N-no. It was your Dog."
"Um, excuse me. I hate to interrupt, but can you guys tell us who the new sixth member is?" Sally asked.
"Yes, it took us a while to decide, and we all know how hard you all worked for this, so the sixth member is-"
Kyle was interrupted when everyone's phones went off at once.
Jason was the first to notice a video in his email; as he clicked on it, his eyes went wide as he saw Eric Cartman's alter ego, the coon sneaking up on Jason while he was sleeping, and then…
Jason felt like Barfing out of Disgust after watching but tried his best not to since he was in someone else's home. He looked around and saw that everyone in the room, minus Cartman, was noticeably angry.
"You Sack of Dog sh*t!" Tweek shouted before lunging at Cartman and pushing him up against a wall!
"How could you do that to me, i thought we were friends?!" Tweek shouted.
"Stan, Kyle, a little help, please?" Cartman pleaded.
"Hold him their Tweek; I don't want him getting away!" Kyle shouted.
Cartman saw how pissed everyone looked.
"What the hell are you guys so pissed about?"
Kyle showed Eric the video he had received. It was so disgusting; he could barely watch.
"Guys, there is no way I could do something this bad."
"You do crap like this every friggen week, Eric!" Butters shouted.
"You've gone way too far this time, Cartman!" Stan said.
Everyone gathered around Eric. He noticed that Tweek looked like he was about to take the first punch, then saw a small potted plant near them. He grabbed some soul and threw it in his friend's eye!
"Ow!"
Tweek fell to the floor while Eric used the distraction to run back upstairs.
"He's getting away!" Butters shouted.
"You guys go after him; I'll stay here and help Tweek," Stan said.
Kyle and Butters nodded and ran upstairs and saw Cartman running out the front door.
"Oh no, you don't, Fat boy," Kyle said.
The Two ran after him, but unfortunately, Cartman got out of the house but, to his misfortune, noticed an angry mob assembled outside.
"There's the fat kid!" Jimbo shouted angrily.
"Let's kill him," Ned said through his speaker.
With no way to go, Eric climbed up the house until he reached the roof.
"What the f are you people so mad about? I didn't do anything!"
"We know it was you, you little sht!" Mr. Black shouted.
As everyone was yelling hateful things at Eric. He tried to step back but slipped on a patch of ice and slid down the roof, and landed Headfirst on the pavement! The last sound anyone heard coming from Cartman was a pain-filled squeal before his head burst like a piñata!
Jimbo was the first to wipe off the blood and guts from his face. He looked at the corpse and smiled.
"Hey everybody, our Nine year-long nightmare is finally over."
Everyone then began to cheer and dance while Cartman's blood ran down the sidewalk.
To be continued.