con•flict•ed
adjective
having or showing confused and mutually inconsistent feelings.
Wednesday Afternoon 3 o clock
Spencer rounded the corner of his hall to find Max locking her door with a young boy in tow.
He just got back from the case and he was tired, but Max looked a little flustered.
"Oh hey! Spencer says stopping before his door." He smiles down at the boy, but the boy only barely lifts his expressionless eyes to meet Spencer's.
"Hey!" Max says, removing her key from the lock. "You just get back?"
Spencer nodded "Yeah, and got the rest of the day off, thankfully."
"This is... Sammy, Michelle's nephew. He has been staying with her for a few days but she got called into a last minute arraignment, thankfully all my afternoon sessions canceled so Auntie Max to the rescue!"
"Hey Sammy! It's nice to meet you. I'm Spencer." Spencer waves.
"Hey." Sammy says blankly. Spencer is pretty sure he hasn't blinked, or moved a muscle.
"We're going to the park for the Arts and Crafts festival," Max says in a sing song voice. "And we are SUPER excited."
Sammy makes no remark otherwise.
"Oh! Actually while I am thinking about it let me grab that book for you, Spencer." Max hurriedly opens her door again and runs inside her apartment leaving Spencer and Sammy alone.
Spencer rocks on his feet, feeling uncomfortable under the child's suspicious stare.
He is definitely related to Michelle. Spencer thinks.
"So...how old are you Sammy?" Spencer asks.
"11."
"Cool, uh" Spencer bites his lip and leans a bit to peer into the open apartment, but only sees darkness.
"You... wanna see a magic trick?" He asks the kid, remembering he had a quarter somewhere in one of his pockets.
"My mom says I shouldn't let strangers show me things."
"Uh, well, fair enough" he says, ceasing his quarter search just as Max comes back through the door way.
She hands him the book and he places it carefully in his messenger bag as she locks the door again.
"Thanks! What kind of food trucks are they having down there? I might go down at some point for dinner..." he says, making a face and placing a hand on his stomach.
"Oh they're having all kinds of stuff. We are actually planning on hitting up this really cool looking ramen stand as soon as we get there." Max says enthusiastically to Sammy.
"Mmmm!" Spencer hums looking at Sammy as well.
Sammy makes no such expressions of excitement, only continues to stare and Spencer and says, "You want to come."
It didn't sound entirely like a question.
"Uh... I'm sure Spencer is super tired from his trip." Max says, eyeing the boy, and then Spencer.
"He wants to come." Sammy says, rolling his head and putting his dead pan eyes on Max this time.
It was Spencer's turn to eye the child with suspicion, "I mean.. I could eat.." he says slowly. His face contorts back to an amused smile as he looks back to Max.
She smiles back sheepishly and gives Spencer a wide eyed look before shrugging and saying, "Well come on boys."
The three walk to to park after Spencer quickly drops off his bag in his apartment, and grabs a purple colored scarf.
They order bowls of ramen first thing, as planned, then walk it off by teetering around various booths, Max listening as Spencer endorses various facts about art history.
She's impressed by his knowledge, and he seems surprised when she asks him questions to keep the conversation going.
He too asks her questions, and makes supportive comments on her utilization of art therapy techniques in her practice.
She is very aware of every look and movement he makes, and when their wrists accidentally brush against each other's as they walk from a booth of hand bound leather books, he's the one who looks away shyly first.
Every so often Max would check her phone to see if Michelle had responded to her texts...
Max: help
Max: your nephew invited Spencer to the park.
Max: are you alive?
The two eventually find a good park bench to rest on as they watch Sammy saunter off for ice cream at a near by vendor.
As she sits down she receives a text message from Michelle.
Michelle: my little wing man *heart eyes emoji* you're welcome. I'm on my way btw.
Max puts her phone away and hears Spencer ask, "So how long will Sammy be in town?"
He is sitting on the opposite end of the bench, and is turned to face Max.
Max crosses her leg over the other, and looks forward to put eyes on Sammy, who has just made it to the ice cream truck line before turning to Spencer.
Michelle is dropping him off at the airport early tomorrow morning. She is on her way now and they're going to stay the night at my place so they don't have to get up as early," Max says, "it's just the hour flight to NYC though."
"Gotcha. Well, thanks for hanging out with me today. I definitely needed some 'normal conversation,'" He says, using air quotes.
Max gives him a questioning look and he blushes.
"Oh, um—- my therapist challenged me to have more normal conversations with people because I've been having a hard time separating crime, murder, psychopaths, my team... from..." he trails off.
"Your personal life." Max finishes with a kind smile.
"Yeah" Spencer says with a laugh, looking forward, "It can be hard to turn off, but I imagine you know all about that."
Max stiffens, a catch in her breath, and doesn't respond.
"Like with your job, I mean." He says, he continues when she doesn't answer, "it's probably hard not to take some of that home, especially since you work with kids." Spencer continues.
"Yeah definitely." Max says relaxing a bit and blowing out a sigh. "If I checked in with my therapist like I should, she would probably say something similar."
Max sees Sammy being handed an ice cream cone with a swirled top.
She watches him carefully turn, and head back their way.
Spencer, follows her gaze and says, "Sammy and Michelle are definitely related. It's cool that he comes and stays with her some, are you close with your family?"
"Um, no." Max cuts him off, stands, and waves Sammy over.
She realizes she was a little too eager to cut off the conversation, and sits back down.
"No," she says again, more softly, "uhhh what about you?" She looks back at him, hoping for a smooth save and deflection.
Max thought she saw his eyes narrow slightly, only a glint, but it was probably just in her head.
Regardless, he moves on saying, "Well, just with my mom, but her health isn't great."
Max only responds with a sympathetic look because Sammy had returned, sitting in the space between them, ice cream in hand.
"Hey, so you wanna see that magic trick now?" Spencer asks, and to both of their surprise, Sammy agrees.
It wasn't long until Michelle calls, that the trio walk back to the apartment to meet her.
Michelle stands in front of the apartment in all black, looking like a million bucks with her over night bag hiked up her arm.
She eyes Spencer and gives Max a side look before ruffling Sammy's hair.
When they make it upstairs to their hall, Max lingers behind, and tosses Michelle the keys.
Michelle gives her a quick smirk and opens the door with out question, pulling Sammy in behind her saying "come on bud, let's make you a pallet or something in front of the TV."
She lets the door close behind them, leaving Max and Spencer alone in the hall between their doors.
"Well let me know how you like the book." Max says to Spencer pursing her lips and smiling, her hands are clasped behind her back.
She felt bad for being short with him before, but she's conflicted about getting too friendly with an FBI agent, given her history...
...but she also can't seem to help herself.
She feels a pull towards him she can't understand, but there is an almost equal desire to run away.
A little late for that. She thought, remembering the string of text messages they shared about the view from her living room.
How lonely can you be, Max, pining for your neighbor.
She switches on her clinical brain without thinking, and continues, "and...thanks for sharing a little about yourself today, I know that can be... difficult."
Spencer smiles at the familiar phrase, and narrows his eyes.
"My therapist says that," he says.
"Yeah they teach us to validate people when they are vulnerable in therapist school." Max laughs at herself, making face.
"So you're using therapeutic techniques on me right now." Spencer winces playfully.
Max puts a hand to her head. "No! I mean yes, I guess. It's not you, it's..." she looks down.
"..Hard to turn off" Spencer finishes for her.
"Yeah" she sighs, mentally tracing the outlines of her tennis shoes.
She watches as one of his converse clad feet step towards her.
"Well, if it's all the same to you," she hears him say, "I'd prefer if you didn't see me as a client."
She looks up and meets his hazel eyes.
"I mean" he continues with a shrug, "I know I'm pretty bad off, but I got to keep up normal conversations with someone if I'm going to keep my therapist happy."
Max nods her head slowly, but her ears are ringing.
"It's actually unethical for me to do therapy on... my friends," she says in an attempt to ease the tension she feels welling between them, but instead, she knows her eyes must be deceiving her as they dart from his eyes, to his lips, to his neck.
She subconsciously bites at the side of her mouth.
"I know," he says simply.
She feels heat rise from her chest to her face, and is aware that she might be blushing under his gaze, so she drops her head again with a laugh, attempting to hide any non verbal communication she must be giving the profiler.
With her gaze on the floor, she sees his other foot close the space between them, and, as if she willed it, feels his gentle fingers on her chin, pulling her face up.
She understands what they mean when they say 'time is just a construct.'
In this moment she is not sure who's lips touched who's first, but she does know they are kissing.
She's on her tippy toes because he is so tall.
It's sweet, but at the same time 10 hours could have passed for all she knew, because her thoughts were no longer thoughts, they were fireworks bursting in her brain, and all she has ever known is this kiss and this moment.
When they finally part, Max steps away from him clumsily, putting her back to into her door, and smiling like a fool.
She points at him with one hand, and turns the knob with the other, feeling drunk all over again.
"Noted" she says, touching her lips. "Will do."
She leaves Spencer in the hall with an equally stupid smile that he tries to bite back.
"The best kiss is the one that has been exchanged a thousand times between the eyes before it reaches the lips." -Sariah Wilson