Chapter 4 Alicia and Albert

Ruby took more deep breaths in that one minute than she had over the course of her entire life. The dread…the horrible, awful dread….it was eating her alive! Her mind was circulating, telling her over and over again to run away and hide. To crawl into an underground bunker and never show her face to anyone ever again. Even Singe's presence did nothing to calm her nerves. The only thing that was telling her to head to the door was her own willpower, and even then, that power was on the brink of flickering out.

Knock knock knock.

If she didn't get the door soon, those knocks would turn into slams. Then Alicia would break the door down, and she would come in regardless of the permission that Ruby gave. Ruby figured, since her sister coming in was an inevitability, she might as well make it so that Alicia would come in with her permission. She was the owner of the house. She wanted to show she had at least some power.

So, she put her hand on the knob. Taking in one last deep breath and swallowing one last lump, she opened it.

"About time. I was starting to think you didn't want to see us."

Ruby's anger rose to a simmer, but she tried to hide it by putting on a smile. "I apologize; I was in the middle of cleaning."

Alicia snorted. "Cleaning, eh? You mean that thing you never did when we were little?"

Ruby bit her lip. "Just…come in."

So, Alicia came in, along with her son, Albert. Once both of them were in the house, Ruby took notice of their appearances. Alicia's brunette hair was styled into a french braid, and her face was absolutely covered in heavy makeup. Her purple eye shadow looked odd when juxtaposed next to her green eyes, her red lips almost distracted from the long chin that she had. Almost. Her long, purple dress had a slip that exposed the length of her left leg, and a cut that showed off the breasts that Ruby didn't remember her having when they last met.

She looked exactly how Ruby expected her to look; like a young woman trying to show the whole world that she had money and they didn't.

As for Albert? Well, Ruby had never seen him before, so his appearance was what really captivated her. His hair was blonde of all colors. Whether or not it was natural or dyed, Ruby didn't know (she was kind of leaning towards the former). He was tall, but also kind of...pudgy. He wasn't obese, but Ruby noticed that his belly stuck out a little underneath his shirt. Speaking of his shirt, it wasn't a T-shirt, but rather a dress shirt. His pants were black dress pants, and his shoes were dress shoes. Honestly, if it wasn't for the green eyes that were a staple of the Patch family, Ruby wouldn't even be able to tell if this was her nephew.

Alicia studied the place where Ruby lived with her nose wrinkled. "Well, this isn't exactly what I expected. I didn't even think it was possible for someone of your status to buy a house."

Ruby bit her lip again. "It's called hard work. Maybe you should try it sometime."

Albert cast her a glare. "Hey, you leave Mommy alone. She's allowed to talk."

Ruby held back a snicker. Sorry, Mommy? A seventeen-eighteen year old boy was calling Alicia Mommy? That was…interesting, to say the least.

"She's not taking away her sister's right to talk," Singe said as he took a step forward. "She's just expressing her right to respond."

Albert and Alicia raised an eyebrow. "Oh," Albert said. "I take it this is my…" he cleared his throat… "uncle?"

Ruby welled up with pride. "Why, yes." She stepped toward Singe, smiling fondly. "This is my husband, Singe Marksmite."

"Hmm," Alicia said with her hands on her hips. "That's…lovely."

Ruby felt bile rise to her throat. That inflection…that tone…oh, this was going to be so, so much fun.

"Anyway," Singe said. He patted Ruby on the shoulder, a signal that things were going to be alright. "Would you two like something to eat?" He gestured for them to follow him to the kitchen. "We have snacks, fruit, leftovers from last night…"

Albert blinked. "You mean…you eat regular food?"

Singe chuckled. "Yeah, of course I do."

Albert wrinkled his nose. "I thought that koopas ate mealworms."

Ruby held back a sigh. Oh for the love of Pete. Again with the mealworms thing? Celia had already been insulted to hell and back by people who had that assumption when she was in grade school.

"Actually, koopas eat all sorts of things," Singe said. Somehow, he was smiling through this whole affair. "People think we only eat mealworms because they are comparing us to pet lizards. But, in reality, we are more similar to humans in terms of diet than anything else." Singe snickered. "Besides, even pet lizards eat more than just mealworms."

Albert scrunched his brow, making the ridges in his forehead so much more pronounced. "Oh, so now you're telling a lizard owner they've been feeding their lizard improperly?"

Singe blinked. "No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I wasn't even aware that you owned a lizard."

"So you assumed something about my character." Albert shook his head, scoffing as he did so. "Typical koopas. Always jumping to conclusions based on assumptions."

Ruby felt like pulling her hair out. She felt that a change in subject was in order before she did something she regretted.

"So…Alicia, I hear that you're taking Albert on a tour of the Mushroom Kingdom?"

Alicia actually managed to smile. "Why, yes I am." She took a seat on Ruby's couch. "We've already covered a good distance so far. Everything looks alright."

Ruby smiled. "That's good. I'm glad that you're enjoying it."

Alicia raised an eyebrow. "Who says we're enjoying it?"

"Yeah," Albert said as he too took a seat on Ruby's couch. "We had to stay at this hotel in Mushroom City. It was a total dump."

"Our pillows were an offwhite color," Alicia said. "When we went to complain to the manager…oh developer, the manager. You should have seen him; he had long bony legs and this disgusting long chin. When we told him that we didn't think our pillows were clean, he went on this long rant; 'Waluigi chose the pillows to be that color; they are clean! Waluigi is trying his best, but customers don't respect him!'" Alicia shook her head. "We left immediately after that; we didn't need to hear a crazy manager yelling at us."

Ruby forced herself to nod. "That...that makes sense." She sent a look toward Singe, a look that screamed help me. Thankfully, Singe got the message.

"Well, anyway," Singe said. "We're going to go make some dinner for you guys."

"Please do," said Albert.

"And Ruby?" Alicia said just before she had the relief of walking into the safety of the kitchen. "Make sure to keep your husband away from the food. I don't want to find Koopa scales on my plate. Okay? Okay."

Ruby stared at the back of Alicia's head for a little bit, glaring at her before going into the kitchen. When she and Singe were alone, out of earshot from everyone in the main room, Ruby put her head in her hands. "Oh my God, she's a nightmare!"

"Tell me about it," Singe said.

Ruby shook her head some more. "I don't know if I can deal with her, Singe. She hasn't changed a bit! She's only gotten worse!"

Singe patted her on the back. "It'll be fine. She isn't moving in with us."

"No, and thank Grambi she isn't." She sighed. "I only hope that Celia ends up liking them in the end. Because good gravy, I know that I can't!"