/ TW: mentions of torture

It would seem Sigrid was exactly correct, as they made the walk to the kitchen she could already see the files spread across the countertop. She did not want to discuss this, she hated looking weak, she was not a weak woman, she was strong and she was resilient and the last thing she needed was these men thinking she was someone that needed to be saved. That, and she knew that what was about to be read out to the room was going to eat her Jimmy alive...

The lightness Bucky had felt moments before had vanished entirely as he stood in front of the vast amount of documentation in front of them.

"Did you two kiss and make up?" Zemo asked sipping delicately from a cup Bucky absolutely did not own. Did he bring his own tea? And tea cup? He bristled as he looked at him through narrowed eyes. "What is all this crap?"

Zemo looked to Sigrid, this was her tale to tell.

Anxiety flooded her chest, Bucky reached for one of the files but she got there first, scooping the documents up and pushing them to one side she looked at the three men who were looking back at her expectantly. She was going to explain this on her terms, with her dignity intact.

"My father, Odin, is not a nice man. I am sure my brothers have painted him out to be this wonderful man and leader but that is not the case. He likes power and being in control, when he feels something more powerful is going to come along he quickly removes it no matter what the cost so he can rule forever." She could feel her jaw ache from how hard she was gritting her teeth at the mere mention of her fathers name.

"When I was born it was clear I had a proclivity for springtime, I could make flowers bloom and thrive with a touch of my hand when I was just a baby. I was of no threat to him, as the goddess of spring I would deal with things like fertility and growth and renewal. Nothing heavy duty like my brothers. Alas, I grew more... Destructive as I got older. When I turned 8 I started making earthquakes and volcanic eruptions... This displeased my father so I was sent to Midgard... I mean, earth... I was raised amongst our people in Norway as a Volva, a witch of sorts... I was always aware of my parentage but I liked living amongst Midgardians, I liked my life. I never went back to Asgard... In the 40's... When I met... You... And Steve..." She said her eyes going to Bucky, he tensed, he could see it in her posture how uncomfortable this conversation was making her... She didn't want to share what was to come next.

"When I met you both... I had been seeing things, it is not unusual for gods to foresee certain things, I had just honed the ability thanks to my time as a Volva... I saw what was going to happen... What was going to happen to Steve... To you... I couldn't let that happen... I saw many things, foolishly I tried to alter our paths by trying to get you to Asgard, but fate will always get it's way in the end... My father had seen for himself with his own seers that if you and I were to stay together I would become one with my more destructive ways and together we would have... Made something... Something that would be stronger than me, my brothers, my father... He could not have that... So he had me...Removed from you..."

His brow furrowed, he was confused, made something? Perhaps it was his many decades not thinking for himself, maybe it was his upset at seeing her so uncomfortable but it took him several seconds for the penny to drop.

"Something... Something like... Like a child?"

She grimaced but nodded, his breath stopped, everything stopped. That is what it had been all about? A damned child?!

"He could not risk a demi god being born that could over power him. He had me taken away to a cave, a prison deep in the bowels of Norway. That is where I have been the last few decades, my arms were bound to the ceiling, ice cold water ran freely beneath my feet, he had it arranged that should I escape and return to you that the possibility of a child would be impossible." She did not like to remember, even after all this time, the slicing, the cutting, the searing agony as her insides were scrambled and torn apart, the taste of her own blood filling her mouth, it made her want to gag.

"SHIELD found me because I had started creating earthquakes with what little strength I had left, they were seen as an irregular occurrence for the area, when they investigated I was found. It took many hours to free me from my chains, many months for my recovery, I am no where near as strong or capable as I was but I can still see ahead, I can still give you the upper hand finding these super soldiers, I will know what they are going to do before they do it. You will have the upper hand." She was hoping ending it on that note would brighten the mood... The tone... Lighten the atmosphere but none of the above took place. Instead all she saw was Bucky's furious glare as he put his hand on both Sam and Zemos shoulders and marched them out the door "out! come back tomorrow and fucking knock!" he said slamming the door so hard a crack formed in the wall next to the door frame.

Livid was an understatement, he could only see red, he was quite literally blinded by rage. He grabbed the files from her hands, she let him, it was clear this was something he needed to see. Inside was case notes, maps, and pictures...

Suspended with her toes barely touching the ground was Siggy, still in her army uniform, although it was filthy and caked in dry old blood. Several other pictures followed, her destroyed wrists, so deeply wounded by the shackles that her bones were visible, her abdomen was a mess, dry blood and scar tissue made angry knots around her torso. She was skin and bone, the hollows of her eyes were clear to see, the case file indicated she had to be kept in dimly lit surroundings for months because she could not cope with the bright lights of the outside world. He felt sick, he could feel the nausea hit him almost as hard as the anguish. How she had suffered, how she had suffered for caring for him.

Just like everything else he touched he had ruined her, destroyed her. He wanted to cry and scream, he wanted to punch something, hurt something, he wanted to be the winter soldier again, he wanted to be the winter soldier, he wanted to go to Asgard and he wanted to kill every living thing that existed on it. It was a dangerous mindset to be in.

"Jimmy... Calm down..." He could hear her but it was like she was far away, he had a ringing in his ears, it was like shell shock. She had endured untold horrors because she was associated with him and he hadn't even been able to remember her properly. He didn't even save her.

He turned to look at her, grabbing her arm he tugged the sleeve up of her black blouse, angry pink scars hugged her wrists like a macabre bracelet, still healing, a testament to how fresh her torture was. She snatched her hands away furiously.

"Do not dare use me as an excuse to self destruct James Barnes!" She exclaimed furiously. "I am fine!"

"Do not lie to me!" He shouted, his temper reaching fever pitch. "You are not fine, I am not fine! They butchered you! That was better for them, butchering you was the desired option over having a child with me!"

She reached for him but he took a step back shaking his head, it physically stung her when he did it. He saw her as something damaged, something made of glass he could break, she could tell.

"I can't touch you Sigrid, everything I touch gets destroyed. Look what happened to you for being associated with me!"

"I am already destroyed James what more can they do to me? Torture me some more? Take another organ? Lock me back up? I don't care!"

"Well you should care! You were stupid to make me remember, you should have let me keep you as a familiar stranger!"

"Why? Because I am not perfect anymore? I am too weak for you now?"

"No, because now I remember you I can't fucking stay away from you! I can't not touch you, I can't even think straight with you around! I just want to hurt somebody, anybody, for this!" His hands were knotted into his hair, he was pulling on the dark tresses in frustration.

He went to her, jaw wound so tight he felt like it was going to snap, he grabbed her face into his hands two sets of blue eyes stared pleadingly into each other desperate for a life line.

"Everything I touch gets destroyed, Siggy."

"I don't care James, I am already destroyed. I don't care if being with you will end worlds, call me selfish but we have suffered enough, I will destroy planets to keep us together. I don't care what you say."

His hand moved to the back of her head, his fingers knotting into her hair harshly.

"I refuse to stay away from you Siggy." He said leaning forward his lips millimeters from hers.

"I refuse to stay away from you James, I don't care if we destroy each other completely, all I want, all I ever want is you."

"I am all yours, and you are all mine."

A challenge rose in her eyes at this statement. "I am all yours?" She said her fingers curling around the front of his jacket again "prove it." She whispered finally closing the gap between them. Their lips crashed together in a motion so violent it almost hurt.

His hands grabbed her hips, scooping her up he slammed her into the wall with a deafening crack, her legs immediately wrapped around his waist her fingers knotting tightly into his hair.

He was going to show her exactly who she belonged to, he was going to erase the memory of anyone touching her but him, he was about to reclaim his girl body and soul.

/ next chapter is going to be *very* spicy friends/