Bamboleo / Hero
They swayed between love and loss, because they thought they preferred to live their lives that way, not understanding that only they can make the choice
One Year Earlier
"Happy anniversary babe" Sam gasped breathlessly over the phone
"I thought you'd forgotten, what are you doing?"
"I've just finished my last rehearsal before the show, I'm exhausted, but… I got the cuff links, thank you"
"Did you like them?"
"Guitars, goes without question" he laughed "Sorry I didn't get you anything"
"Are you going to wear them tonight?"
"You bet" he looked up at someone calling his name "Babe, I've got to go"
"Sam" Mercy grabbed his attention "It's 10 years next year can we at least try and set something up, this is the fourth year we've been apart for this"
"I know babe and I'm trying"
"I'm not asking for an excuse, we're both busy, I'm asking for some time a whole year in advance"
"We'll see each other in about a month, we'll sort it all out then, I promise"
"I love you babe"
"I love you too, bye" he hung up before she could say it back
Five Months Later
The agreement had always been a simple one, they were both in the music business, they knew how things went, and neither wanted to hold the other back so when they were working on projects, they'd always let each other go and believe in their love that it would draw them back together. They had an apartment, life, and everything together but life on the road was hard, sometimes one or the other of them would be on the road for up to four months, and in that time they'd meet people, forge relationships, and temptation was always there, so in preparation for that they'd decided to free each other at those times.
There'd be no big discussions when they got back, they'd just show paperwork to say they were clean and get on with life, their home was exactly that. He'd arrived home a day before her panicking because he hadn't had time to take a test 7 days before he got home, and he knew she was going to know because no way was he going to touch her without a damn test. He sat on the couch waiting for her to walk through the door, knowing she'd be wanting sex first and talking after, they were like that, and he was going to have to tell the truth about all this, he knew this was trouble.
"Babe" she dropped the bags at the door seeing him sat there "I so fucking missed you" she ran across the room as he stood up to grab her
"I missed you too" their lips met and stayed there for a long while before she grabbed her bag and flung the paper at him
"Clear" she smiled before going back in, he took the kiss he needed it, wanted it even, it had been four months
"Babe" he pulled her off him, waiting for her to see the serious in his face "I'm sorry babe, I forgot to take the test"
"Why, are you clear anyway?"
"No" he pushed her off him, angry for having to bring this conversation into their home
"So, why didn't you take your fucking test?" she sat on the couch watching him moving around the room
"I told you I forgot"
"No, you didn't forget, you must have been sleeping with whoever right up until you left"
"I…"
"You were, weren't you?" she hissed at him "I thought we agreed 7 days"
"I'm sorry babe"
"Do you love her?"
"No" he looked at her
"But you have feelings for her?"
"I… I think I might"
"Okay" she stood up "What are we going to do about this?"
"I didn't intend on doing anything about anything, I love you"
"With someone else on your damn mind Sam"
"Oh, so you want me to believe you're not pissed when you call me Sam?"
"Do you want to go back there, I mean, if you saw her again would you want to go back there?" she sat down trying to calm down
"Maybe" tears filled his eyes
"Are we in trouble?" her bottom lip trembled at seeing the scared in his eyes
"I think we might be, I mean, I haven't fallen, maybe wobbling"
"Fuck" she cried into her hands
"Babe" he sat beside her hugging her
"We knew this was a risky thing we were doing I guess we both let this get a bit out of hand"
"I don't want to lose us" he hugged her
"It seems I've lost you already" she looked up at him "We'd both fight for this babe, but if you've found something in someone else…"
"I'm not leaving you" he stopped her usual break up line coming out "You're not thinking straight, I've taken a test as soon as I got home, everything is going to be fine"
"Except I'll be thinking you're thinking about her, when you're with me"
"If anything, it's the other way round"
"I know you Sam Evans, anything not to hurt me" she sat up to look at him "You sort this feeling thing out and we'll talk"
"I hate the truth" he told her hugging her so tight "This isn't the end"
"You know" she sat up looking at him "I think it is, I think it needs to be, we can't keep doing this to each other, we need to stop"
"Mercy" he gasped unwilling to take her truth "I don't want…"
"Neither do I babe, but it's for the best, this isn't a relationship, it's an agreement, I don't know whether we just get off at the thought of it being cheating or the freedom of it all, whichever it is, it isn't healthy, and to be honest it kills my heart every damn time"
"We both agreed to this" he stood up looking at her
"We did and back then this was tolerable, today it isn't"
"Because I forgot to take a test"
"No"
"Because I slept with someone six days ago?"
"No Sam, because enough is enough, I mean how much longer are we going to come home and show freaking papers to the person we supposed to love to say we haven't been infected by some random, we have or haven't got feelings for?"
"We can stop"
"How, are you going to give up singing, because I'm not"
"I don't have all the answers, not right now, but I'll work something out, please, I'm begging you, don't ask me to break up"
"Sam" their eyes connected "This isn't good for us I don't want this anymore"
"You don't love me anymore?"
"God" she rolled her eyes "I don't think I'll ever love anyone like I love you, and I'll always love you babe, but what we're doing isn't good for us, it's not a relationship"
"We could try harder"
"Babe 9 years, surely we've got it as right as we were ever going to get it"
"I hear what you're saying but I refuse to believe this is the end"
"I guess that will be the case for both of us for a while, but believe me babe, I think this is the right thing" she lay her head on his chest, the two of them sat crying at the realisation that what their hearts weren't about to believe was true in their heads.
Six Months Later
Sam and Mercy were visiting that place again, it had been six months since their relationship had hit a brick and smashed to pieces. It hadn't been anyone's fault, there was no massive argument or anything like that, the whole thing just came to a very pregnant pause, they reached an agreement and walked way, 9 years had gone down the drain.
Sam had delved into several dates having realised shortly after the breakup that the girl he'd been seeing then wasn't who he thought she was at all. She was just out for what she could get, plus he'd got fed up with her liking absolutely everything he put on his social media pages, considering she hadn't even given him the time of day even a week before he started seeing her. Adding to that he'd lost Mercy, the love of his life because of her, and that just made the whole thing unexciting for him.
He was sexting someone new now, he didn't have the heart to call them dates anymore, he very rarely got to a second date it was just about sex, and then he'd spend most his time visiting the clinic. Between those times he'd be slumped over a wet table in a bar for how much alcohol he had to consume to stop thinking about Mercy and what she might be up to.
Their professional lives had never crossed because he was country through and through and she was R&B and although some of their friends had collaborated, their grooves just didn't mix. They were always unsure if that was accidental or coincidental, maybe it was something to keep them free, maybe it was because deep down they weren't supposed to be, whichever it was they were never going to find out now.
She'd been on his mind regularly but for some reason today he didn't want to shake her off, that last song had sent him there, the words were about her it was bound to hit him, he knew that, so he couldn't understand the upset
…You're the only one in the world I want to talk to right now, the only one to pick me up on a night like this
And I know, you'll be the first thing on my mind in the morning, oh, sober or drunk, you're the one that I just miss, mmm
I said I wouldn't call, we said we wouldn't talk at all, it always ends bad… But breakups don't work like that 'Breakups' by Seaforth
He sat rethinking the whole conversation over and over again, wondering what he could have said to get a different outcome, his heart spoke to him, and he picked up the phone, it had been long enough.
"Hi" Mercy giggled as she answered the call "Sam" she stood up, for what reason she didn't know, they weren't together anymore
"Are you busy?"
"Well…." She looked at the hot piece of totty who's lap she'd just jumped out of "Not really, is something up?"
"No, I just thought 6 months was long enough, I want my friend back"
"Best friend" she giggled "I miss my best friend too"
"Can we meet up?"
"It's too soon for me babe, I mean Sam" she looked at the guy frowning beside her
"It's good to hear your voice anyway"
"Yours too" she grinned genuinely at the familiar voice coming at her down the phone
"I remember you're in Mexico next month" he waited for a response but got none "I'm there too, maybe we could meet up, what do you say?"
"I'll think about it" her voice full of uncertainty, her mind trying to work out what she was going to say to this guy sitting beside her when she got off the call
"It would be really good to see you" he responded at the risk of sounding needy
"I'll try" the call ended just like that, she looked down at the guy waiting for an explanation "That was my… ex, but he'd my best friend as well so we were just catching up" she'd got the honest trait from being in a relationship with Sam "And before you say anything he's the love of my life, we just don't work together"
"Thank the lord for ex's" he smiled at her "But I'll never be one, will I?"
"You fuck me around and we'll see" she tapped his nose playfully, but her words were serious
She'd totally forgotten they'd planned to have their 10th anniversary in Mexico, they'd worked it out with their agents to be working near enough to each other so the two hour drive from Queretaro to Leon where Mercy was performing wasn't even an obstacle. They'd booked restaurant, hotel and were even going to a little show, and she was looking forward to that too, but with no anniversary to celebrate and no man to do all that with she was sure he'd cancelled it.
She hadn't been having that good a time, her drinking was getting out of control, she could feel it, but there wasn't much she wanted to do about it, she knew why and right now she had no intention of getting over it. She was happy he'd called when he had because had it been an hour later she'd have been out of it, face down in her own damn sick with the idiot beside her telling her everything was alright, while he searched for money in her purse.
She turned to look at the near stranger sitting beside her wondering what the hell she was doing, maybe life with Sam wasn't her destiny, maybe it was messed up, but against this right here, it was everything, at least she felt real when she was around him, what they had felt real, and hell she loved him "Still do"
"What was that baby"
"I told you to stop calling me that, I ain't nobody's damn baby" she huffed at him, wondering if she was angry at the word, the man that said it, or at wanting the man that didn't say it, to say it
"Damn girl" he grabbed her arm "What did that friend say to you?"
"None of your damn business" she pulled her arm away from him and walked away
He was the drummer in the band her agent had found for this part of her tour, everyone knew how things went, you didn't get the chance to go out fishing on these things you just grabbed what was available unless you were lucky enough to be working with your natural partner all the while. He'd do for now of course but in three weeks she'd be in Mexico, already she was thinking Sam was to close for comfort, she couldn't, maybe the word was wouldn't, do that to him, she had something she needed to take care of, she grabbed her purse and stepped off
"Where are you going?"
"To sort out my business" she turned to tell him
"I thought I was your business?"
"The only business we have is you banging that damn drum on time" she snapped at him
Sam sat staring at his phone wondering where to go next, he'd heard it in her voice, she didn't think this was the end either, he had something to fight for and he was about to go there. He scrolled through his phone looking for a number he needed, the answer had been staring him in the face all this time, suddenly he knew how to fix things. He sat writing his feelings in his notebook, this was going to be the biggest and best anniversary they'd ever had, he was going to make her remember what they had and realise they couldn't stop fate
10 Year Anniversary
Mercy
"Make this a good one Mercy, it's your first matinee" her stylist touched up her hair before she stood smiling at the finished article, paying no mind to her agent
"I know what I'm being paid for Stella" she snapped at the woman, she was always on her damn case for something or the other
"Beautiful as always Ms Jones, do your thing girl" the stylist smiled at the end result
"Thank you" she smiled up at the woman, she was unusually anxious tonight, and everyone except her knew it was because Sam was close
"He won't be here, he's performing, you know that" Stella reminded her
"I do" she grabbed some tissue off the dresser and followed everyone out, she was stood side stage watching the warmup act end, thinking about times gone by. She'd started out first and Sam would be at the side of the stage with his hand in her panties helping her get rid of jitters
"Mercy" her agent called "They announced you" she waved her on, Mercy smiled at hearing her first song playing and widened her smile as usual when the crowd screamed at her making an appearance, she went straight into song and for the next two hours there was nothing but her job in her mind, until she got to the last song, bringing tears and confusion
…I don't know if I'm crazy, but all the pain and the heartache you gave me, that only made me, want to get back with you.
You, held her hand the way you held mine, you felt her, uh, the way you felt mine….
….Oh, oh, baby what did you do, you got me missing you 'Breakup to Makeup' by Ashanti
"Doing anything special later?" Stella asked, more than aware of how emotional she'd been over the song
"No, I'm exhausted, I'm going back to the hotel and into bed for the evening"
"Sounds lovely" Stells kissed her cheek and left the dressing room "Tomorrow" she nodded
Sam
Sam had done a full morning of rehearsal, trust this to be the day they do a new routine, he'd just about got the steps down for three songs and figured as he was the centre of attention nobody would care if he didn't fall into step with the rest of them. For the past three weeks his mind had been elsewhere, a lot of preparation had gone into this evening, after the matinee show, he was excited and scared at the same time, all it would take was for Mercy to decide not to turn up for everything to flop
The adrenalin was ecstatic, he was passed pumped when he got on stage, his raging hormones, his clean bill of health and his girl waiting in their bed was all he could see, he didn't rush through his programme, but it went a lot faster than he thought it should have, it helped that it was a clean show for teenagers and parents so there were limited songs he could sing.
"Good job" his agent tapped him on the back as he walked past
"Thanks" he dragged his wet t-shirt off and threw it on the floor "I'm so buzzed" he turned back to look at him "I'm out of here till tomorrow, contact me only in an emergency, I mean like death of my Grandmother stuff" he laughed
"It's been a while" his agent called after him
"Emergencies only" he told him walking off backwards
He got changed, grabbed what he needed and left to make the two hour drive across to Leon, this was the longest shot he'd ever taken but the only thing he knew for certain right now was that it was worth it. Every time they parted hearts were broken, surely this time when they meet they could mend something, those 9 years weren't in vain he refused to believe that.
He jumped out of the hire car and walked into the bar, it was just starting to gather momentum, so not many people were there, he looked around and found the perfect spot, they could see the stage, he could see her coming in and if the crowd didn't get too thick she'd see him as soon as she walked in, if all that failed, the ladies powder room was down the alley nearby and he'd see her.
"Sam" his friend tapped his shoulder as he jumped off stage
"Hey" he stood up to hug him "Everything set?"
"Yeah, but I'm calling dibs on that damn song dude, I'll only sing it if it's mine" he laughed
"Dude if this goes to plan, you can say you wrote it" Sam laughed
"It's the fourth song so I hope she's here by then"
"If she's not here by then, she'd not coming"
"Good luck dude" he hugged him again and wondered back onto the stage
By 8pm the room was packed way too packed for Sam to see anything or anybody coming in, it seemed like his plan had fallen flat before it had even started. The show had started and there was no sign of Mercy, his friend gave him a look as they started song three urging him to do something, he wasn't about to force her to do anything, he shrugged his shoulders and sat defeated
"This next song was written by a friend, it was meant to be for the woman he loves, but she's broken his heart again" Giveon announced "Which is fitting because this is called 'Heartbreak Anniversary"
Ooh, balloons are deflated, guess they look lifeless like me, we miss you on your side of the bed, mmm
Still got your things here, and they stare at me like souvenirs, don't want to let you out my head
Just like the day that I met you, the day I thought forever, said that you love me, but that'll last for never
It's cold outside like when you walked out my life, why you walk out my life?
"Sam" Mercy suddenly stood in front of him "Do you want to dance?"
"Sure" he got up and grabbed her hand and waist swaying on the dancefloor
I get like this every time, on these days that feel like you and me, heartbreak anniversary
Cause, I remember every time, on these days that feel like you and me
Heartbreak anniversary, do you ever think of me? (Oh-ooh) No (Ooh) No, no, no (Ooh, ooh) Ooh, nah (Ooh)
"You wrote this for me?" she looked up at him
"There is on one else for me babe, you're it" he pulled her closer to him
I'm building my hopes up, like presents unopened to this day, I still see the messages you read, mmm
I'm foolishly patient (foolishly patient), can't get past the taste of your lips (taste of your lips)
Don't want to let you out my head
"Sam" she looked at him bending to the floor "What are you doing?"
"I realised that we choose the way we live, and we can choose something different, I worked it out Babe" he looked up at her with a small box in hand "I love you Mercy Jones, with all my heart, and I just need to ask, will you marry me?"
"Sam" she gasped crying because at that second she realised that was exactly what she was asking back then, they just didn't know it "Yes" she gasped as his arms pulled her into him
Cause, I remember every time, on these days that feel like you and me, heartbreak anniversary, do you ever think of me?
(Oh-ooh) Of me, (Ooh) cause, I think of you, think of you (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
"I think about you every damn day" she hugged him, unable to stop grinning "Did you cancel the room?"
"No" he smiled knowing where this was going
"Come on" she dragged him off through reception and up to their room "This is the very last time I'm ever going to do this" she pulled out a familiar piece of paper from her pocket "Three weeks clear"
"Three weeks Clear" he smiled producing his, both throwing them in the air before falling on the bed "God I missed you" he sucked at her neck, his hand finding its way into her panties, that was always the best way to get them started
"Mmm long night" she moaned
"Very long night" he laughed "You ready"
"Always" she grabbed his hair and moaned at his touch.