I'll Stand By You
Let go of the attachment, keep the lesson
It was a typical autumn afternoon when Sam and Mercy, confident they had got their required grades from college, while finding out their relationship status had drastically changed overnight, decided on a whim, to take the plunge and get married, at one of those cheesy themed chapels. They grabbed a couple they'd seen around campus, who just happen to be having a coffee in the café next door, and asked them to be witnesses, they were happy to do it, and just half an hour later, after swearing to stand by each other, they emerged from the tiny chapel as Mr & Mrs Sam Evans.
Their week-long honeymoon had started in the student bar where they danced to trap music while throwing down shots. Their exams had finished the day before, but the term hadn't officially finished so they'd taken advantage of the extra week "I could get used to this" Sam lay in bed watching Mercy bring his breakfast over
"Well don't because once my music contract comes through you'll be missing my ass as it flies out the door every morning" she laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed, then placing the tray in front of him.
"Surely you'll still do some things for me in the morning" he wiggled his eyebrows at her teasingly
"Rest assured some things you won't get out of" she laughed "Ever"
"As I said, I could get used to this" he put the tray on the side table and grabbed her arm "I was talking about you walking around with no underwear on" he smiled pulling her back to bed
"Mr Evans" she giggled naughtily
"Mrs Evans" he grabbed her lips to get breakfast, or was that lunch
They'd met during their first year at the college they'd both attended in Clarksdale, they were thrown together to complete a 24 hour project, in a random art class they'd both attended thinking it was about music, they'd come up with this project where she sang while he showed them his talent on his guitar. They didn't get any marks at all for the content, seeing as they hadn't put brush to canvas, but they were sent to the arts department, where they fit right in.
They didn't have much in common at first glance, he was a shooting elk at the weekends, listening to the birds at night, kind of guy, from Ohio, and from day one he was unashamedly sort after by many of the popular girls. While she was Compton through and through with all the carefully honed rough edges, you'd expect from a girl who knew how to hold her own and look cute doing it. Somehow they'd found their place in each other and although it all started as a friendship, it had grown into something so deep they couldn't describe it to each other let alone anyone else, they just knew on that day a week ago, as they walked down the main road basking in the fact that they were going to be parents, they had to get married.
"Seriously Sam we need to decide on our future, where are we going to live…?" she lay looking up at the ceiling eating a piece of bagel he'd fed her
"Somewhere between Lima and Compton I suspect" he sat cross legged on the bed looking at her "So we can visit both families"
"Visiting is fine, but where are we going to live?"
"Were we decide" he smiled "And we're not looking for approval or validation, just letting them know" he confirmed "We already know we're walking away"
"Are you scared?"
"Not really scared, just excited, we're a family" he leaned in and kissed her "We'll have everything we want"
"Everything" she smiled opening her mouth for the next bite of bagel
"So, I guess we need to get everything in the car and start out, we've got a two day drive ahead of us, limited budget, now we've both quit our jobs, and parents to tell" he popped the last piece in his mouth before getting up "Come on"
Later that morning they packed all their belongings into Sam's car and started the two day journey to see his new in-laws
Compton
"Mom, Dad this is Sam" Mercy walked into her family home smiling at their faces for seeing her walk in with a guy
"Girl" her mom rushed towards her "I was expecting you last week, why don't you answer your damn phone?" she pulled her off her chest to ask
"Baby girl" her dad hugged her smiling at her mom's worry coming out as a cuss
"Where's Matt?" Mercy asked looking around for her younger brother
"I'm here, I heard your mouth before I saw your face" he laughed walking up to her for a hug while he took in Sam stood there
"Okay" she turned to look at Sam still stood there waiting to be officially introduced "I wanted you all to be here to hear this at the same time" she grabbed Sam's hand "This is Sam" she looked at him "Sam Evans we got married a week ago" she showed her family her wedding ring, excited for the announcement
"What?" all three asked at the same time
"We got married, I'm Mrs Evans now" she carried on wiggling the finger with the ring on
"Why didn't you tell us?" her mother asked at the same time her dad informed her
"You won't be living together under this roof" while her brother laughed right out loud
"That's fine" Mercy told him "We weren't planning on living here anyway" she huffed "There's not enough room because we'll need another room for when the baby comes"
"When the…" her mom gasped
"This is a joke right?" Matt stood looking from Sam to Mercy hoping they were going to confirm his thought
"No" Mercy told him, watching Sam step forward to offer his hand
"Mr Jones" he spoke for the first time since entering the house "Pleased to finally meet you"
"There's a lot to sink in before I can be pleased about anything" Mercy's dad grabbed his waiting hand "You do know that this boy is white?" he looked at his daughter asking
"Yes" Mercy cut her eye at him in disgust
The day visit was filled with conversation, but it wasn't anything Sam or Mercy wanted to hear, they were reminded about the struggles the family had gone through to get her to college, the disappointment in their choice. There was some discussion about their regrets, of which they were assured were on their way, the struggle they were about to embark on with having a dual heritage blended family, how they were going to support themselves and a child on their air brain idea of stardom, her parents pulled out all the stops.
They left two days later deflated, having paid for a hotel stay they hadn't budgeted for, to make the three day journey down to Sam's family, sure, more so now, that their home wasn't in Compton. Mercy's parents having washed their hands of the situation, their strong words of disapproval, which had been firmly delivered over the two days through attempts of persuasion and harsh embarrassing discussions, left Mercy constantly apologising to Sam.
Lima
They'd already made their minds up before they walked in the door, Sam hadn't felt like he had any control at Mercy's parent's home, he didn't want to make enemies of them on first contact, but try as he might it hadn't worked, so he was having none of it from his parent. Nearly 4 days later they were standing at his parent's front door waiting for Mercy to make herself presentable "Okay?" he asked rolling his eyes, he'd told her she was perfect before they got out the car. He grabbed the doorhandle and pushed the door open "Mom, dad" he called as they walked across the spacious hall and though the door furthest away from them "We have a guest" he turned to smile at Mercy
"Son" his dad's shocked face came into view "We were expecting you days ago" he got up rushing towards him, stopping abruptly at the sight of a woman stood next to him "Who's this?"
"This is Mercy" Sam smiled grabbing her hand to pull her forward
"Pleased to meet you Mercy" his mom stepped forward smiling at her, she stepped forward quickly, surprised at the welcome, before she realised Sam hadn't told them everything
"We got married a week ago" she heard his words echo around the room, the jerk was apparent, his mom seemed to fling her across the room at the news
"You did what?" his dad asked angrily
"We got married" Sam repeated "We're not here for approval or anything like that, we're just letting you know, that you're going to be grandparents in about 6 months"
"Grandparents?" his mom asked, looking at his dad in shock "What have you done?"
"Well, if we're married with a baby on the way, I should imagine you can guess what we've done" he smiled before it was wiped away with an almighty slap from his mom, even Mercy's look told him he'd gone too far with that comment "Sorry" he gasped holding his cheek
"She's only 3 months there are still choices" his dad told him
"Yes" his nom agreed
"What?" Sam and Mercy asked at the same time
"Let's calm down and talk about this" his mom suggested
"Does this have anything to do with the fact that I'm white and she's black?" Sam asked, guessing the core of their protest
"I'll make some drinks" his mom nodded for his dad to leave the room with her
"Well, that went…" Mercy looked at Sam smiling
"As well as we expected it to" he finished for her "Are we getting out of here?"
"They mentioned the A word in a roundabout way, and that's our final red flag" she reminded him
"Let's get out of here" they turned, making a quick exit out of the house, waving as his parents stood at the front door calling them back.
With no idea where they were going next, what they were going to do for work, a place to live, or even where their next meal was coming from they drove, without a word, deep in thought about their situation
"Do you think…" she asked
"No, we made the right decision" he grabbed her hand assuring her "Music has to work for us"
"Then they'll be sorry" she smiled still weary of the uncertainty in the air
Clarksdale
It was nearing midnight when they got back to Clarksdale, the place looked different now all the students had gone home, the clubs weren't as bright, the place wasn't busy, shops were closed it was like a total shutdown.
"I didn't expect this" Sam drove down the familiar road, they were hoping to find someone still in their student accommodation that could help them out for the night, but there were no lights, no movement nothing everywhere was abandoned
"I could call Santana we could go to her dad's hotel for the night" Mercy suggested
"Call her, it's getting really late"
They got the night, and breakfast in the morning curtesy of their friend who was hiding out in France with her new partner Brittany for a month. The next day the priority was finding somewhere to call home for a while, until they got to where they needed to be professionally. It was a big adventure that ended with them finding a room in a shared house for just under $40 a month, at least they had a bed.
They managed to buy a chest of draws and a TV out of their savings leaving at least enough for 6 months' rent as a fall back, Sam wasn't waiting around for that to finish he had to find himself a job and quick. It didn't take them long to realise it wasn't as easy as they thought to get a job singing or playing an instrument, so, after a few weeks they both took jobs in the local cafés to help with bills and bump up their savings, the aim being to be in their own place by the time the baby came.
By the time Mercy was 6 months they'd saved enough to get themselves a one bed small apartment, it wasn't where they planned on ending up, but at least there was privacy for when the baby came. Sam was working two jobs by the end of Mercy's 7th month trying his best to get everything in for the baby, she'd had to stop working by then because the baby was resting on the nerve in her leg, so she could hardly walk.
"Any luck?" she asked as he walked in with his head low, way past midnight
"No babe, they wanted a drummer"
"What are we going to do?" she asked fretfully
"We'll work it out, I don't want you to worry, we're alright for now"
"Alright?" she hissed at hm "You're working 16 hours a day, we hardly see each other now so, how you can say it's going to be alright when the baby comes it's no…"
"Babe" he rolled his eyes, she could see the pressure was getting to him, but it was getting to her too "Everything is going to be fine we've got nearly everything for the baby, and I know something in the music business is going to come up for me soon"
"And then you'll be away even longer" she snapped at him
"Babe can we not do this right now, I've got four hours sleep before my shift starts" he yawned falling on the couch, resting his head in her lap "I love you" he stroked her face, smiling. She looked down at him, he looked tired, stressed, and thin, she was going to wait until he fell asleep before cooking him up one of her famous breakfasts, and sending him to work happy for once, they both needed happy right now.
As she'd decided she was up making his breakfast, watching as he stirred "Morning" she smiled as his sleepy eyes met hers, she could tell he was still tired
"What are you doing up?" he got up to touch her "Cooking too" he kissed her cheek as he hugged her before running off to the bathroom, emerging dressed twenty minutes later "Morning" he smiled walking towards her, grabbing her in his arms for a deeper kiss this time "I can't believe you let me sleep on the couch"
"You looked tired and thin" she held the plate of food up for him to see "I made you're favourites, easy eggs, toast, freshly squeezed juice"
"Those oranges should be lasting you the week" he took the plate off her, so she could grab her own plate "But breakfast together is great, romantic even"
Six weeks later there was just a week to go before the baby was due, Sam's hours had been cut because he needed to be around for Mercy, so money was tight, and the bills were getting more because they were spending more time at home together.
By the time their baby girl Gem was born, they were in a bad place, hospital bills, new baby expenses, they hadn't figured Mercy would need a whole new wardrobe "Babe" he sat heavy on the couch watching her attempting to breastfeed their three week old, formular wasn't an affordable option, they were both tired for getting no sleep "I'm going to have to go back to full time" he sat looking at the outstanding bills, the topic of conversation that evening
"You've got that audition for that band, tomorrow, you need to at least try babe, the money from the café won't be enough"
"Yeah I'll try" he rolled his eyes at Gem performing again "You get some sleep I'll sort her out" he held his arms out to take their crying baby. He loved his daughter with a passion, they both did, but things were hard, he looked down at her with sadness in his eyes, because to audition for that job would mean he'd be away from home with this band, travelling around the country, for how long he didn't know, and right now it wasn't the right time for that emotionally, but financially it was the best solution.
"Goodnight" Mercy kissed him before getting up to find the bedroom, he watched her walk across the room and disappear into their room, Gem's crying bringing him back to what he was supposed to be doing, but he missed his wife.
As he'd agreed after work he'd gone to the studio again, he was becoming a familiar face at the place, knocking fists, and sharing conversation with people as he made his way to the back of the building, he knew the routine. He sat playing his usual guitar piece for the three men stood not looking Impressed with him.
"How flexible are you?" the bearded man asked him
"What do you need?" Sam asked, he'd never been asked that question before
"Four months initially, we're going around Europe in about three weeks"
"Yeah" he was past excited inside that would being in so much money, they could lay back for a few months
"You'll need to come in every day between now and then to learn all the songs and stuff"
"Sure" he jumped off the stool, excited to tell his wife what they were doing next
"Babe" Mercy sat looking at him, wondering what planet he was on "We can't take Gem on a tour, she's three weeks old"
"We don't have a choice we need the money"
"So, you can do the gig, we'll be here when you get back"
"I won't get any money until after the first Month babe, we can't pay the rent on this place, you have to come with me"
"Did you even ask if you could drag your family around with you?" she snapped at him, unable to believe this was his plan
"I'm not arguing about this, you're coming with me"
"What happens if she gets sick, or I get sick, we'll just be sitting in hotel rooms for months on end while you run around playing with the band, it's not a plan Sam" she sat thinking things through "I'll go home, mom and dad will be alright now Gem's here, and it's only for a few months"
"I'm supposed to look after you, not your damn parents" he snapped
"It's for four months babe, we can do this, it's what you've always wanted, I don't want to hold you back, we'll be fine honestly" her heart was sinking really, it was true she'd never want him to settle for less, but somehow she'd never seen herself as being the lesser thing. They both knew how much he needed this, and they knew if there was ever anything they were going to lose each other to, it was the music, because if the shoe was on the other foot, this struggle would be real for her too.
"You're right, I'd regret it forever, I have to do this, I'll take you to your parents and explain things" he grabbed her hand "Thanks for understanding" he looked down at Gem in her arms. He loved them with all his heart but since Mercy had reached 7 months pregnant, their love life had gone downhill, not just because of the pregnancy but because he got busy and too tired too. Since Gem had come along he'd been shocked that the drought wasn't about to stop, there was a further six weeks, so things were literally getting hard for him every time he looked at Mercy, while Mercy seemed to be settling into her new life of celibacy easily. They rarely kissed properly these days, he was scared to admit it, but his mind had strayed a few times and he'd found himself watching some of the couples all loved up at the café wondering where all that had gone for them, or even if they were ever going to get it back. This job was the only way he could see for them having something that resembled a married life together they'd dreamt of.
The next few weeks were taken up with practice, and work, he hadn't found time to take them back to Compton, the main reason being because her six weeks were going to be over the day before he was due to leave so he'd booked a flight so he could spend time and see them off at the airport before he had to leave, even though it had left them on their last bit of savings.
"Hi" she smiled at him coming home earlier than she'd expected, she was busy packing and getting their personal things ready for storage, they weren't about to keep paying rent on somewhere they weren't staying.
"Hi" he smiled "I thought I could come home and spend some time with my girls, one in particular" he kissed her cheek "Did you get the all-clear?"
"Yeah I did" she grinned
"Is Gem asleep?" he threw his jacket on the couch, happy
"She is" she stopped folding to look at him "You haven't so much as kissed me properly these past four months" she tutted "And now you expect me to just lay back and give in to you?"
"We're both guilty of that, I didn't want to put any more pressure on" he walked towards her
"Neither did I" she smiled grabbing for him as he neared "I missed you"
"I'm still missing you" he pulled her to him by the hips and kissed her lips "Hello wife"
"Hello husband" she grinned, nothing had been lost, it was just sitting waiting for the right time, and now they'd found it, they took what they could of the evening, got a takeaway and finished packing.
The next day Sam went off to work, reminding her he was coming back early afternoon to take them to the airport, while Mercy waited for the removal van to collect their belongings for storge and packed the last of their things for the journey.
"Babe" he walked into the empty apartment, sad that it was the end of their first home together "We'll get somewhere bigger after this gig, I promise"
"We're not failing babe, we're expanding" she smiled finishing Gem's feed, before gently rubbing her back, watching him wondering around the apartment "We're ready"
"Are you sure about this?"
"I'm sure babe" she got up and made her way to the car, with their daughter
They were driving along, the plans in his head being relayed to his wife "Mercy" he nudged her when he realised she wasn't listening "What are you listening to?" he took an earphone out of one of her ears to listen
…We've been meeting here so long, I guess what we done, oh was wrong, please darlin', don't you cry, let's just kiss and say goodbye
Many months have passed us by, I'm gonna miss you, I can't lie, I've got ties and so do you, I just think this is the thing to do
It's gonna hurt me, I can't lie, maybe you'll meet, you'll meet another guy
Understand me, oh won't you try, try, try, try, try, try, try, let's just kiss an' say goodbye… 'Kiss And Say Goodbye' by The Manhattans
"Babe?" his tone puzzled
"It's just a song Babe" she grabbed for the earphone
"It's not just a song" he pulled it back "This is what you think is happening"
"Does it matter how I think?" she looked into his eyes he could see the anger in hers
"Why didn't you just tell me the truth"
"Because you want this Sam, and I want this for you, whatever it costs us" she snapped at him
"I admit we've been distant for a while, with the pregnancy, Gem and work" he looked down at their daughter "And I just thought this was a quick way to get us back on track, but I still want us"
"We're on track, as long as we're together, we're on track, don't you get that?"
"Of course, I get that"
"I just feel like this is bigger than you just wanting to do this gig"
"Bigger like how?"
"Is there someone else, is that why you want to get away, I mean yesterday felt good, but it felt so final"
"No there's no one else, I was going because we need the money, and to be honest it looked inviting, and yesterday felt final because I'm going away for months tonight and I don't know when that's going to happen for us again, so I got into my mood about it"
"I'm being totally selfish, sorry"
"I'm not going on tour, thank god they haven't paid me yet, I took accounting as a backup for a reason, we can find some other way to channel the music thing" he smiled "Let's go home, I've got some extra shift to grovel for"
"I don't want you to do that for me babe, I'm not asking that, sorry for the mixed messages"
"Babe" he turned to look at her "We stood in that chapel and swore we'd stand by each other; we gave up everything for that vow, and I'm not about to put it at risk for a damn song"
"Are you sure?"
"I am, and when the time comes, you're going to teach the hell out of music at some school" he smiled
"And you're going to be head of the best show choir" she laughed
"We'll be fine" he assured her