Meeting this pair with unamusement!
.
.
.
Standing in front of me are three very symbolic figures...
...a deity, a being of unimaginable power...
"Listen to me, I am a Goddess so obey my authority you stubborn bird!" [1]
... an angel, the residence who obey such deities...
"Why should I listen to you?! You deities do nothing for us Angels, and don't call me a bird! Tell her Mark!"
... and the being that is supposed to be the enemy of heaven, a Devil.
"Katie, I'd prefer if you don't use me as your shield towards a useless existence, and could you please calm down!"
... are fighting like children in front of my eyes.
"Gaahh! Kazuma! Help me beat some sense into this stubborn pair!"
After teleporting into this weird place, Aqua saw the Angel and demanded that we were to be put back and for her to slay the Devil that was in the room.
"I'd prefer to talk things out... but-"
"God requiem!"
"Aaghhhh-"
"Katie stop fooling around and help me calm things down!"
Judging from the Angel wardrobe Katie is an Angel, and the strange behavior of the masked fellow must mean he is a devil.
From my understanding, the Angel's name is Katie and the Devil's name is Mark.
The Devil wore a white suit and wore a mask that covered his entire face... What is creepy is that the mask has a smiley face that goes around the equator of said mask.
"I don't want to startle our.. guests any longer muahaha..."
The Angel wore your stereotypical Angel wardrobe, white robe with a halo floating above her head.
"Y-you bastard... after all you have done to me... to my body and my soul..."
Right now Aqua tried hitting the Devil with her attack but the Angel pushed him out of the way, taking the hit in his place.
"W-what did you do t-to her..? W-wait d-don't tell me, hmm~ I want to save up this f-feeling of s-suspense..."
"Darkness now is not the time to get off... if things get bad I can just blow them away with my trustworthy explosion!"
"Kazuma Kazuma, is she a good guy or a bad guy..?"
"How should I know."
The devil payed no attention to the Angel that is crawling on the floor, and sighed.
"sigh, As much as I like the theatrics of comedy I'd prefer if you stopped right now, we might cause more misunderstanding and mistrust."
"Tsk..."
After the remark the Angel got back up as if she wasn't hit by Aqua's blow and dusted off her clothes.
"You're no fun..."
"I'll be fun when the time is right, for now be a good bird and sit." [1]
"I'm not a bird!"
As the Angel made another fuss, the Devil snapped his fingers and sat on a couch that appeared behind him.
"Why do only you get a seat, I want one too!"
"Tsk... fine."
After getting seats thanks to Aqua, our party sat down on a comfy couch and waited for the Devil and Angel to explain what we are doing here.
"If I may ask.. what are we doing here..?"
"Ah, I forgot! Well first off, obviously we kidnapped you..."
"We can see that." 4x
After my party's retort, Katie pulled out a tablet and started pressing some buttons. As she tapped away Mark continued his speech.
"Before we start let me tell you that there are many universes out there..."
"tap tap"
Mark waited for Katie to finish typing, and then started again.
"... and your universe is basically one of the possibly infinite bunch..."
"tippity tap"
After typing again Mark gave Katie a distasteful look and resumed.
"... although we are what you call a devil and angel..."
"TIPPITY TAP TAP"
"Give me that!"
"Aahh!"
Mark began typing on the tablet and summoned a floating screen.
On the screen are multiple branches coming out of one big line. Each branch is a different length then the others, while each having colors as well.
"Right now we are here."
As he pointed at a screen, a branch grew out of the end of what you call the 'main line.'
"Why are we in a small branch?"
"Good question explosion-maniac, for every difference that happens an alternative pathway opens up, which makes more branches of this universe and so on forth..."
"Explosion-maniac?! As amusing as that sounds I feel insulted..."
"Kazuma I don't get it, explain it to me..."
"I'll tell you later, here. Take this string I found in my pocket and make use of it with your useless skills."
"They're not useless! I'll show you..."
After I drove the bored Aqua off I went back to listening to the Devil.
"Well I'm not entirely sure how this works anyways, all I know is that a collection of universes are roped in, and that bunch is the entirety of that bunch..."
"So like a rope?"
"That is simpler, thank you for that.. care for Tea?"
The masked Devil summoned a coffee table and a tea set out of thin air, and gestured me to take a sip.
"I don't think I can trust you just yet... and how would we know how to believe you? For all we know you could be another Demon King or something..."
I'm not sure if he had noticed, but our group is not comfortable just being taken from our home and placed into some stranger's place.
Even if they pose no threat, it would be best to stay alert.
"hm.. this is quite the dilemma... well for starters we are not from this plane of existence..."
"?" 4x
"... well we weren't born really, we just existed. "
The Devil looked like he was searching for an answer, while the Angel gave a look of nostalgia.
"We knew what we were but whenever we tried getting away from each other, fate would just bring us together, quite bothersome but it does have its quirks "
"We are what you would call 'multi-verse travelers.' We went to different universes and saw many things... but at the end of the day we should find a place to settle down temporarily!"
This is so confusing...
Multi-verse Travelers?
This doesn't make any sense...
I checked on the others to see how they are doing, but they don't look like they understand either.
"Continuing on, as you may know Devils in your universe eat off of human emotion... and I eat off of emotions too coincidentally..."
As he monologued, he gradually got up and started getting louder.
"... Katie and I here thought we should settle for a bit before going to the next universe, and so we looked into your lives and found many things that appealed to my tastes..!"
Katie got up as well and striked a pose.
"For now, you'll quench our thirst of theatrical entertainment!"
This is more confusing.
Why would they need us specifically?
Instead of entertainment, it's more like a pain in the ass...
"Just for the record, my ability is that of space and partially time. This place is my own personal space in another plane, so if you know what's good for you, don't try any funny business..."
"Whoa-"
"Ah!
"Kazuma..!"
"What?!"
Right when the Devil mentioned it was his own personal space, the floor beneath us opened up and we started falling.
As the space around us changed into a dark open space, Mark and Katie still stood up and walked around us, as if they weren't falling and instead we were floating.
"Having fun?"
When we stopped falling, the surroundings around us were a familiar sight.
"Is this..?"
"It's a complete replica of the room you would go to when you die, or rather when you see your so-called 'Eris-sama'"
It looked exactly like the glowing room I been in many times.
From the time I dragged Aqua down here...
... to the time I died fighting the Demon King.
The chair is in the center, and it looked like boundless space.
"It may look familiar, but it smells funny!"
Aqua's yell echoed throughout the empty space we were in, until it all started to shatter.
"Is this illusion magic..?"
"No... it seems too sophisticated to be an illusion..."
When the space around us finished shifting in a very unrealistic manner, we were back in the same room we entered.
"This could be illusion magic, or spatial magic, or teleportation! What it matters doesn't concerns you, but what does concern you is getting comfortable."
"Comfortable?" 4x
"We've kidnapped you, remember? This house contains any need you may possibly want. There is a gaming room with consoles and games across space and time itself, quite literally! A magic room where you could train or battle monsters in any environment you want. Lastly there is a winery that have many unique and wonderful tastes! "
This place seems like a dream house for us..!
It's a bit too good to be true in the first place...
"We have plenty of rooms and more surprises that await you! For now talk among yourselves and see how you feel."
"Couldn't you spy on us?"
That's something that I wanted to bring up.
Although it is his space anything may be possible... couldn't he just spy on us whenever he felt like it..?
"I don't literally have eyes everywhere... I have drones in practically every universe surveying and filming interesting events..."
The Devil started sipping tea and snapped for a floating screen to pop up with unbelievable contents..!
"ahh.. Kazuma~!"
"I... I-I think I'm close..!"
"to-together okay~!'
On the screen was me having sex with Megumin...
...
...
...
...
"What the hell?!" 2x
Megumin and I exclaimed as Darkness and Aqua looked away.
"W-what is is this?! This never happened yet!"
"Y-yeah... wait did you say yet?!"
While steaming, our tomatoes faces kept stealing glances at each other."
"Oh there is more..! fufu~"
The screen changed to another scene.
"Darkness, did you get the kids!"
"I got them!"
"We fought a neroid!" 2x
This time it was me cooking dinner while two twins who was holding Darkness's hands walked in with her into the kitchen.
Unlike the last one, this was more wholesome.
"On Earth, you humans call it Fanfiction, some call it 'offbrand' work. To us beings that can travel to such places it is simply another branch in this hairy bush of a existential mess." [2]
Darkness became flushed red and stole glances at me as well.
"H-hey don't act all coy now!"
"I-im not acting c-coy!"
"Haha..."
As I tried getting Darkness to stop acting like a maiden, Megumin gave an exasperated look.
"wait... don't tell me there is ship between me and Aqua."
"Can't say there is none, there is practically infinite universes and planes. Mapping it is simply too tedious and picking which route to go into is fun."
I can't imagine me being with Aqua.
She is a beauty but it doesn't come across as the same as any other girl, almost as if she is off putting...
"I'm off putting?! I'll leave you alone since you did call me beautiful but watch your tongue..."
"W-wait did I accidentally say that out loud?"
"No, apparently we can also read what's going our minds."
I looked at the screen and saw it type out everything that is happening, what I'm saying... and... doing...
...
...
...
...can you please stop?
"Hey Kazuma, what do you think of me?"
What's with this question Megumin asked out of the blue?
I mean you do have your weird quirks but how am I supposed to respond after everything we gone through together?
You're just...
...
...
"Hey wait a minute!"
I looked back at the screen and saw everything I thought of...
Damn you..!
"How unfortunate, if you were to go any further then perhaps we might've been in the Megumin route..."
The masked Devil dismissed the screen and sat back down, glancing at our group.
Darkness and Megumin were slightly fidgety after the ordeal with the screens...
Aqua started drinking the Tea that was offered earlier...
I am so confused that I feel like nothing is going to faze me as of right now.
"In any case I've already summoned your belongings here, hold this."
The unmasked Devil handed me a flyer.
"What's this?"
"That is a guide and map of this entire space, with of course some restrictions."
I glanced around the basement area and found a blotted out zone.
"REDACTED"
"There is a designated area where we will be staying."
Katie went over by my side and pointed out a section of the map.
"If there is a problem, which there shouldn't be, then contact us. See that screen?"
We all looked at a screen that was in the wall. Next to the button was a small red button. Mark walked over and presented the mounted device.
"This is a control panel. It contains many of the basic controls and will occasionally be a way for me to contact you."
"Wait if you can tell the future then why would we need to contact you?"
"I never said I have foresight, simply put once more I can jump through time and space."
"ooh... Then what's yours?"
The Devil revealed his powers but the Angel never said her's, I get the feeling that the Angel is more suspicious.
"My power? It's nothing really-"
"ring ring ring"
Before the Angel could talk any further, a strange ringing filled the room.
"Ah! Seems our time is up, in the mean time feel free to use whatever appliances you find and get comfortable, you'll be here for a while anyways..."
Both strange figures started walking to the corner of a wall that was behind them and gave their last remarks.
"Before you go, what are we supposed to do in the mean time?"
""Yeah, if we laze around we'll become lazy NEETs and rest all day, doing nothing productive!"
The Devil smirked one last time and simply said:
"Play with yourselves, that should suffice until we meet again..."
...
...
...
What the hell?!
The Devil and Angel faced toward the corner, and then a corridor appeared out of nowhere...
"I'm afraid that I had to cut our time short, but it was a pleasure meeting you."
"I hope to see you all in the next one~"
...And left us to our own devices
"Kazuma, what should we do? Although being kidnapped plucks at my Crimson Demon blood heartstrings, I'm more worried about what is going to happen..."
"Same here..."
As Megumin and Darkness voiced their worries, I could imagine the psychological boredom we'll go through while waiting around.
"Let's just check where we will sleep, I wanna rest and think for a bit..."
The room that we've been in was presumably the living room. It was a nice medium sized circular area that seemed to be the center of the place. In here, there was a staircase adjacent to the back wall going upwards to the left into a hallway. (which we later found out were our own rooms)
Across the staircase was what would be the front door, except it was locked. There were no windows but instead screens that simulated the outside. The floor was either black marble with white veins or clean smooth wood. The walls were also wood but would occasionally shift into a more modern look with smooth solid colors.
Underneath the staircase was a corridor with many rooms lined up side by side. On the control panel were settings for the house but I think it's best if we don't mess with those...
To the left of us was an open kitchen with high stools and a fully stocked refrigerator and compartments. A tablet that was on the table showed recipes and a catalog with prices of ingredients from common things such as salt, to weird edibles from places I never heard of
"Kazuma Kazuma."
As we sat on the couch resting for a a tiny bit, Aqua presented to me the string I gave her earlier.
"Watch this..!"
Aqua started plucking the string and made music while doing a little dance.
"...huh"
"Don't just 'huh' me!"
And this was just the beginning of the troubles that came after ...
A/N Start
And that's a wrap!
Just kidding, that joke is getting old.
There was quite a bit of Author's Note in the original story so I'll let sleeling dogs sleep and not repeat it. It's hard making a whole multiverse and universe ordeal but essentially the idea was this:
Series } Universe } etc
The rope Kazuma was talking about is just a bunch of threads which constitutes a series, but like a cytoskeleton its not organized neatly or have a linear direction
When reviewing and editing the series its sorta nostalgic, but man the light novel is even better.
Have a reference for now:
[1] In the podcast "Not Another DnD Podcast" the players fought some angels amd just ended yp calling them burds for the rest of the campaign.
[2] Offbrand, Fanfics, just wording used for works
that aren't canon/mainstream to the main series.
Anyways there is work to be done so ill see you on the flipside.
Ciao~
From Ramen the slacker...