Gryffindor my ass
Lily wasn't feeling particularly brave the next morning. Lying in bed and staring at the ceiling - she was currently trying to convince herself that last night was a dream. No, a nightmare. That James Potter didn't snog the life out of her last night.
She sighed, closing her eyes, imagining that those brown eyes weren't staring at her hungrily- and that she couldn't smell the embers of the fire and his cheap, Muggle cologne.
She groaned, she covering her face with a pillow, realising that she was cowering in her own room because of James Potter. James twat-face Potter.
Lily tried to remind herself that this was the same James potter that had collected his pubes in a sandwich bag, spending the entire month sprinkling them onto Sirius's food when he wasn't looking.
She rolled her eyes, getting up and sitting on the side of the bed, she could hear James clanking about in their shared kitchenette area, he was never one for being subtle, Lily could swear the boy had hooves instead of feet, he was that loud.
Inhaling a deep breath, she opened the door - ready to be met with a panicky, awkward and flustered James Potter.
She made her way onto their shared sofa, lying with her legs stretched out and grabbing her advanced potions book, looking for a potion that will cure crippling awkwardness.
She didn't even notice James's presence until he was tapping her bare leg.
"Oi gingerbread man, move your legs," James said, patting her legs so he could sit.
"That's gingerbread girl to you toad-face"
she snarked, looking up with relief filling her as he held two mugs. Lily's spiderman muggle mug and James's harpies quidditch mug.
James scoffed as she moved her legs to let him sit and he handed her the spiderman mug.
she smiled in thanks, before making the bold decision to place her legs back in his lap.
To Lily's surprise, James seemingly wasn't fazed as he embraced Lily's legs, putting a comforting hand on her calf.
"I don't get it," James said, making Lily automatically freeze, reacting her fight or flight mode.
"Don't get what?" she said, attempting to maintaining calmness.
"If he's supposed 'spider-man' why doesn't he have eight limbs?"
"Cause he isn't actually a spider, he just has... spidery tendencies" Lily retorted.
"But it's not biologically accurate!"
"Just wait until you learn that he can shoot webs out of his fingers" Lily laughs.
"Wait so he lives in America?"
"He lives in New York."
"Then wheres our British Spiderman? like what if we are under threat?! what about us Lily"
"Why don't you give it ago, I'm sure you'd be a great Spiderman"
"You're right, I'd be bloody fantastic, plus the suit would look spectacular on me!"
She rolled her eyes but silently agreed, he would definitely look brilliant in a tight Spiderman suit.
They sat in blissful silence for around ten minutes, with Lily pretending to read her book and James pretending not to stare at her.
Lily looked up, her eyes meeting James's - the lust filled ones now replaced by adorable puppy dog eyes.
"James, I-"
Lily was interrupted by a violent knocking at the door, the voice of Sirius Black filling the room.
"JAMESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?! PRONGSSSSSSSSSSS JAMESSSSSSS JAMESON JIMMYYYYYYY JIMMMM, JIMBO, JAMAICA, JAMIE, JAM SANDWICH!"
James opened his mouth to say something but closed it, offering Lily a silent apology as she moved her legs off of his lap so he could answer the door.
"Padfoot this better be fucking brilliant-"
James opened the door and stepped outside, not allowing Sirius to come in. Lily was grateful as she certainly didn't want Sirius to see her just in shorts and a Disney Bambi T-Shirt (a gag gift from Remus after learning Lily's patronus.) and
Lily took the opportunity to shower and she made a vow to speak to James later.
Lily was taken aback by James's reaction. He was so normal. Lily knew she desperately needed to speak to Remus. She was about to burst any minute.
Apparently, Lily wasn't the only one who wanted to talk that morning, because on her way to breakfast, a long, cardigan covered arm pulled her from the hallway into an abandoned corridor.
"What the fuck?" Lily said furiously before looking up to see the fretful face of Remus Lupin, looking more sickly than normal.
"Remus! why the fuck did you just snatch me like some kidnapper?!" Lily said, looking around the corridor to find that they were alone.
"Shit, sorry I just really need to talk to you." Remus stammered, his hands on her shoulder becoming clammer by the second.
"Well you could, ya know, talk to me at breakfast like a normal pers-"
"I had sex with Sirius"
Lily paused for a second, looking at the worried face of Remus Lupin before letting out a unholy squeal.
"You had sex with Sirius?!"
"Shush! Merlin Lily! Do you want the whole wizarding world to find out?"
Lily quickly clasped her hands over her mouth to shut herself up, realising her mistake. She scanned the corridor quickly but shook her head disapprovingly.
"Come on, we're going back to my dorm, this isn't the place."
"What the fuck?" Sirius yelped as James retracted his hand from his face, his cheek stinging from the slap.
"You git!" James shouted, raising his hand to deliver another slap to Sirius's face.
"James! stop-" Sirius began, but he was too late as James's hand was flying towards his face. The black heir managed to duck out of his way however, escaping by a hair.
"How could you Sirius? To Moony?!" James screamed, swinging again and again for Sirius, who was ducking and scrambling about the room, eager to escape James's rath.
"How dare you use Remus! Our Moony!" James screamed, making an attempt to grab Sirius's hair.
"Prongs! please I beg! anything but the hair!"
James seized the opportunity to give Sirius's hair a good tug, making the boy let out a shriek.
"Moony is not one of your idiotic one-night stands Black, you don't get to use him like this!" James said, tugging again on Sirius's dark locks.
"James- fuck- ouch! James get off-" Sirius began
"You swore to me you wouldn't use him, you took a Marauders oathe," James said, yanking again on his hair.
"James- Prongs! let go!"
"Not until you promise to stop this, and never do it again!"
"Prongs, I can't promise that-"
yank
"Ouch! Prongs I can't promise that because-"
pull
"James! stop that! I'm trying to tell you that I love him! I'm in love with Moony!"
James squealed, letting go of Sirius, sending him crashing to the floor with a yelp.
"You're in love with him?" James said, resembling Sirius in the excited puppy-like movements.
"Yes! now please, get your grubby hooves out of my hair!"
James furrowed his eyebrows, crossing his arms and inspecting the dishevelled heir.
"You're not saying you love him to get out an of a beating are you?"
"Prongs, I smelled him"
"Huh? what like in general or?" James said, raising his eyebrow at his brother.
"No! not in general, you pie! in the Amortentia" Sirius groaned, rubbing his head from where James was yanking on his hair
"Oh! yeah, okay makes sense..."
"Wait Prongs, you never told me who you smelled!"
James smiled, thinking of how the smell of Lily's perfume was mixed in with the smell of the quidditch pitch and the smell of his favourite curry that his mum makes.
"Oh, well I smelled your mum, duh"
"Okay okay but how was it, the sex?" Lily inquired, taking a sip of her coffee, the familiar spiderman print on the mug reminding her of a certain head boy.
"Well... it was amazing Lil, best sex of my life." Remus confirmed, mimicking Lily and taking a sip out of his mug.
"What happened after? Like did you speak? did you cuddle?" Lily prompted, dying to hear every last detail.
"I mean... yes? and no... he held my hand" Remus confessed with a blush, scratching the back of his neck nervously.
"He did what?! why would he- what is he? a child crossing the road?!"
Remus let out a easy laugh, swatting Lily away with a bashful look, making the girl smile brightly at the sight of her happy friend.
"I'm so happy for you Rem" "
I mean, I dunno - it's Sirius I'm not trying to all my eggs in one basket but- I really like him..."
Putting down her mug Lily clapped her hands gleefully, throwing her arms around her best friend supportively.
"Sorry Evans, you can't have me, my heart belongs to another."
"Fourth year me would have been gutted" Lily laughed, remembering her idiotic crush on Remus im fourth year. With her attempts of asking him out to Hogsmeade and giving him a sappy Valentine's Day card.
Out of sheer obliviousness, Remus accepted to go to Hogsmeade to what he thought was just two friends going shopping, but when Lily tried to kiss him, he panicked and blurted out that he was gay, causing Lily to die from embarassment.
"I'm still not over you by the way, I can convert you back to heterosexuality, I'm sure of it!"
"I've got no doubts in you Evans, but the thing is, you'd have to grow a third leg and that could take some time..."
Lily swatted him playfully, but her attention was drawn to the door, where a rather gleeful James Potter was standing.
She watched him cautiously, ready to chuck her idiotic crush out of the window and maul the man if he was anything less than accepting towards the two.
However, all her worries were thrown away when James hurried over to Remus on the sofa, leaping into Remus's lap, smothering him with cheek kisses and hugs affectionately.
"Moony! my beautiful new brother-in-law!" James exclaimed, kissing the tip of Remus's nose, causing Remus to squirm to try and escape.
"Oh Lord" Lily let out, making no attempt to rescue Remus, who was still unsuccessful in his escape attempts.
"Jealous much Evans?" James teased, catching Lily's eyes, his brown ones twinkling with mischief.
"I'm simply dying of jealousy Potter." Lily remarked with a smile on her face.
Catching Lily completely off-guard, James leant forward and kissed the tip of Lily's nose, causing an almost painful blush to colour her face.
Remus watched smugly, observing the interaction before getting up to take their mugs over to the kitchenette. The two locked eyes as Lily blushed, prompting Remus to lean over to whisper in her ear.
"Much to discuss Miss Evans.."
"If you want an appointment Lupin, contact my manager."