A/N: I'm sorry. I don't even know why I like to write this so comically lmao. I guess it's probably because I read a fanfic of Ace and Sabo going over the top... Well heads up. Everyone is OOC and I admit it. Especially Sabo. It's for comedy. But I'm still serious about Ace and Sabo being overprotective of Luffy - that's my shit. And LawLu is just one of my favourite pairings. Have fun. Please.

Please enjoy!

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ONE-SHOT 2: DATING AND THE SPIES THAT COME WITH THEM

How do two brothers react to their little brother dating a guy? Here's how.

. . .

Warnings: Crazy brocons, OOC galore

Additional Pairings: LawLu

"Luffy is going on a date-"

Ace frowned as he lowered his phone and took a good look at the screen - Sabo had hung up on him. The expression then faded as he shrugged it off. He then brought his binoculars up to his eyes and peered through them from beyond the bushes.

"Ace!"

Ace nearly jumped out of his skin at that - though he would never admit it. He forced the binoculars down to look at the blonde with a long ass streak on the ground behind him that said that he had run a very, very long distance in a very, very short time.

"Who is it?"

"It's Trafalgar of course," Ace replied, annoyance slowly melting into confusion as he spoke. "Didn't you know?"

"I've been busy? With work?" Sabo emphasised his words in a very dramatic and sarcastic manner.

Ace snorted. "I would've thought you'd make time for Luffy."

"Don't give me that sass, I did make time for Luffy - he never told me about a boyfriend!"

"They're not really boyfriends yet, this is their first date. Now hush." Ace brought up his binoculars to his eyes again - only to have them snatched away, "-Hey, what?!"

"I forgot to pick up my pair on the way here," Sabo carelessly replied as he brought up the stolen binoculars to his own eyes. "Now, shut up."

Ace rolled his eyes and sighed, but gave it up and dug his hands into the bushes and parted them for some hope of seeing what was going on.

Luffy was grinning up at Law.

"Hey, Torao! Let's go to the Baratie!"

Law was sighing softly. "...Luffy-ya. The movie will start in ten minutes. Do you want to go or not?"

"Hmm..." Luffy was tilting his head, really thinking about it. "Do we have time to go to Baratie and eat my third meal of the day first?"

Law was inwardly shuddering at the words third meal of the day, but on the outside merely muttered, "The Baratie is twenty minutes from here. What do you think?"

"Hmm..." Luffy was now scrunching up his face. "No!"

Law resisted a facepalm. "What no?"

"No, I won't go to the movies! Torao, you gotta come with me to Baratie!"

Luffy then dragged a helpless Law away.

"After them!" Sabo called, so loudly that Ace shot up to a standing position.

It was a wonder that Law hadn't noticed.

And it would be a wonder if Luffy did.

"You yelled right into my ears," Ace groaned as he rubbed at them.

"Sorry," Sabo shrugged, not looking very apologetic. Ignoring the sarcastic reply of apology accepted, he then tapped at a notepad with a knuckle, "According to my notes, Trafalgar has already gotten three strikes."

"Oh?" Ace finally cheered up, peering over to check Sabo's notes, "As expected of you."

"Strike one," Sabo read aloud, "He did not introduce himself to us first."

"Actually... he did to me. Which is why I was able to catch them this early in the date."

Sabo was quick to round on Ace for that, "But he didn't introduce himself to me! Luffy must have told him that he had two older brothers!"

"Well, I don't know. You know Luffy rarely talks about us." Ace shrugged, looking up in thought.

Silence followed.

Ace looked down; Sabo was crouching and sulking.

"Hey." Ace slapped Sabo on the head.

The blond shot up again, finger jabbing at Ace's chest, "Take that back!"

Bewildered, Ace replied, "Take what-"

"He absolutely does talk about us! He's proud of having us as his older brothers!"

Ace sighed. Right. Sabo had never really accepted this about Luffy, and taken it to heart while Ace had shrugged it off quickly. "Yeah. Whatever. You do know that we're losing Luffy and Trafalgar right?"

"Oh shit!" Sabo let loose a rare expletive, "Catch them!" He zoomed ahead.

"Wait for me, you know I can't run at the speed of light like you can!" Ace yelled after him, drawing the attention of a few passersby who looked at him oddly. Ignoring them, he sighed. "Maybe I should take a cab."

"Luffy!" Sanji's face lit up as he saw his childhood friendship group leader, and then his eyes narrowed in suspicion at Law. "...And who is this?"

"Torao!" Luffy chirped happily, and at the same time Law was replying, "Trafalgar Law."

"...I see. He's your friend then?"

"Yup!"

Sanji looked like he only partially believed that answer, and told Luffy to go sit down first so he could have a talk with Law. Luffy, bless his heart, bounded over to the biggest table in the entire restaurant without a comment.

"...So... boyfriend, huh?"

Law smirked. "Probably."

Sanji whistled. "I did not expect that idiot to get into a relationship this young. When can I expect the wedding?" He turned his head a little at the sudden crash that came from the kitchen. It was not every day that the cooks made a mistake, but his professionalism reined him in.

"...Just get him the food he wants."

"One whole restaurant, coming up. Just one more thing, don't take advantage of him, alright?"

Though the tone was amiable, Sanji's eyes were serious. Law nodded a little more solemnly. "Of course."

"Good," Sanji nodded. "I know he can take care of himself and all... but he's a very important friend to me too."

"I think I know what you mean."

"W-W-Wedding?!"

"Excuse me, sir?! What are you doing in our kitchen?!"

Sabo was lying sprawled on the ground, looking unresponsive to the world. An inconspicuous cup lied near him, only upon further inspection it was connected to a thread. Pots and pans splayed about, making a mess of the kitchen. Not to mention the various unfinished and finished food having a sleepover on the ground.

"How did he sneak in here without anyone noticing?!"

"W-Wedding..." came the mutters from the blond on the ground.

One cook listening sweatdropped. "He's still going on about that."

"What wedding? There definitely ain't no wedding scheduled here."

"MY LITTLE BROTHER'S WEDDING, OF COURSE!" Sabo shot up, roaring like a dragon, sending the spectators shrinking back. "That- That- shouldn't even happen-!"

"Sabo! There you are!"

Sabo turned his wrath towards the newcomer, to the relief of the cooks, though it faded upon seeing him anyway.

Ace was standing in the doorway, holding a pair of spiral glasses with a huge nose attached as he looked at the mess. "What have you been doing? I went and bought this on the way here, then didn't see you in the restaurant, so when I heard the noise I thought I'd come looking, but I didn't actually expect-"

"Oh Ace!"

Ace nearly choked as Sabo threw himself at him - Luffy liked to do that a lot but he was way more used to Luffy's weight- "What- Wait, are you- are you crying?!"

Crying, sobbing, bawling like a baby just born. It was a sight to see, his brother younger by a few months always being the level-headed one of the trio actually sobbing this hard. Ace hardly believed that the cause was the cooks, but he still shot a glare at them for good measure.

If looks could kill, something something six feet under. Unable to take the heat, the cooks pretended to busy themselves with cleaning up the mess.

"Uh, Sabo-"

"It-It-It-It-" Sabo kept stuttering, but the sobs kept drowning him out. "It's- Luffy-!"

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, what? Luffy?" Ace felt like he was about to go crazy with worry, and he buckled, sending Sabo with him, "Did- Did something-?" He just saw him, what could have happened?

"His wedding!" Sabo finally forced out. He pushed himself from Ace, and, kneeling on the ground, he tried to calm himself.

Ace felt a huge wave of relief wash through him, now that was the worst few seconds of his life, "What- What about his wedding?" Then it occurred to him, "Wait, he's having a wedding?!"

"Y-Yeah, I didn't want to believe it-!"

"Bullshit!" Ace stood back up with a roar, once again sending the cooks shrinking back, this time accompanied by the sound of kitchen appliances crashing to the ground. "There's no way in hell I'm letting Trafalgar-"

"Ace-san."

Sabo looked up as he wiped at his tears, while Ace turned to the newcomer, this time not dissipating upon seeing him. "Sanji."

Sanji sighed, taking a cig and lighter even when there was already a stick dangling from his mouth, and he leaned against the doorway as he spoke, "Look. I don't want Luffy to know that his crazy brothers are here."

Ace snarled at that while Sabo nodded as he slowly stood up. "Yes, I think I've been out of line."

"You think?" a cook muttered, careful to keep it soft enough that the newly angered brother couldn't hear.

"That's part of it - but it's mostly because I don't want Luffy to know that you two don't trust him. That's why you stayed hidden, right?"

Sabo widened his eyes - this Sanji was good.

While Ace narrowed his, "...Right."

"Good, so keep it down. By the way, if you break anything, you're paying for it."

Ace simmered at that. He looked around sheepishly, "We didn't... right?"

"Who knows," Sanji stated as he drifted to another part of the kitchen.

"Fuck! I need the money for Luffy's birthday!"

"And my pay isn't even good," Sabo sighed. Then he looked thoughtful. "Maybe Dragon could chip in..."

Ace glared at that. "We don't need help from his shitty father."

"But don't you want to milk him for money?"

"...You raise a point. But he's not going to take any credit."

"Fear not, my dear brother! I heard that the last time Luffy spoke to him on the phone, he asked about me the entire time! So we can get away with that."

"Then I'm down," Ace smirked, crossing his arms.

Sanji suddenly appeared, reading off a sticky note, "The damages add up to 30 thousand yen."

Ace gaped while Sabo scratched at his head, "Uh... do you accept friendship points?"

"I do," Sanji smiled deceivingly, and Ace's and Sabo's hopes soared. "Only for Luffy and the girls."

And plummeted. "Come on! You sucking me dry of money means you suck Luffy dry of money too!"

"It's not sucking if you're the ones who broke our kitchen appliances, do you know how expensive our state-of-the-art pan is? Do you understand the craft that goes into them-?"

"It's just a fucking pan! I can get one at the store for 1300 yen max!"

"It's not just a fucking pan," Sanji mocked. "And be glad we didn't charge you in full-"

"Is the pan made of diamond alloy or something, there's no way it can cost that much-!"

"Or would you prefer I call in Zeff and ask for his opinion?"

The no remained unsaid.

"Ahhh! That was a good meal! Thanks Torao!"

Law was wondering how Luffy could eat through half of his doctor's salary. "...Anytime, Luffy-ya."

"Anytime? Man, you're a nice guy!" Luffy grinned up at Law with his arms were crossed behind his head as he walked. "You sure you don't need anything in return? I think this is the most full I've ever felt!"

That probably explained why- Not. It was inhumane for someone to fit that much in their stomach and still remain that thin! Maybe it was his metabolism- albeit unscientific as it was, but the alternative was accepting that the food all went to Narnia.

"...No, I don't."

"Really?"

Law nearly flinched as Luffy sidled up to him, eyes wide with innocence. He dragged a hand down his face as he gently pushed Luffy's face away, "...Yes. Now, please mind my personal space."

Luffy giggled at that, "Personal space? You're like Zoro, shishishishi!"

"Roronoa?" Law asked, albeit unwillingly. Still, it was worth asking to distract him.

"Yeah! When I first became friends with him, I went up so close to him and then he was talking about his personal space too! But then I kept doing it anyway and then now we're best friends! So you're probably like that too, huh?"

Law was trying to make heads and tails of the connections. "...No. I'm not."

Luffy only laughed louder. "Zoro also always denies it too!"

Law was more than a bit miffed, did Luffy only agree to hang out with him because he reminded him of his best friend?

"But, Torao, there's something different, too." Something flashed in Luffy's eyes before he turned away.

"...What is it?" The change in Luffy's expression was hard to understand, and though Law didn't want to prod in case it was negative, his curiosity won over.

Luffy looked up at him again, face slightly shadowed by his straw hat. "I don't know..." he smiled a little. "I don't know why my heart is beating like this."

At that, Law felt his own heart act up too. He was horrified to feel heat climb to his cheeks, "It's... probably because of your emotions." Way to go, Trafalgar. Why not recite a medical book to him while you're at it?

"My...enogions?" Luffy looked very confused. "Can you eat that? Did I eat it at Baratie?"

Well that killed the moment. Law sighed. It was probably because he spoke too softly. "Emotions."

"Oh, emotions!" Luffy laughed merrily. He then paused. "My emotions? What do you mean?"

God, this was impossible. "Like..."

Law trailed off then, and he never did get the chance to continue.

"Sabo, we must have misheard, or something. ...Sabo-" Ace broke away from his binoculars, then frowned upon seeing his brother sulking again, this time in a curled up position. "What the hell is it this time?"

The date was almost over. Ace had asked Luffy to be back by dinner, and it was already sunset. The gold and red clashed in the sky creating a wonderful work of art... that the four present were unable to appreciate.

Because while Luffy and Law were having a concentrated conversation, Ace and Sabo were busy trying to not get too concentrated in their conflicting emotions. While also spying on the former duo.

"I...I was listing proof of Luffy loving me..."

Ace nodded, but Sabo didn't continue, so he audibly replied, "Uh-huh."

"...I was listing proof of Luffy not loving me..."

Now came the crazy bit. Ace sighed. "Yes?"

"And I came up with one."

"And?"

"Just...just look." Sabo threw the notepad at him without much energy. It flopped to the ground near Sabo's feet.

Ace stared before unwillingly reaching over, getting on his hands and knees to reach it, a crack sounding as he did. "Ah...fuck. Stretched too far."

"Well?!"

"Well what? Hold your horses, Sabo!" Ace grumbled to himself as he flopped onto the ground to properly read the notepad.

Proof of Lu not loving me (and Ace)

1. Doesn't talk about us to other people

At the end of the last letter, ink dramatically trailed from it to the bottom of the page.

"Okay, I'll ignore the fact that you put me as an afterthought," Ace begun as he looked up again, Sabo looking back at him pitifully. "And I'll say this- or ask, I guess- I thought you already knew this?"

"Yeah- but-! I didn't think I'd need to put it into this section! But then I was thinking about it all this time, that if we have been talking about Luffy all this time to other people because we love him, then him not talking about us must mean he's embarrassed!"

Ace stared. "You..." He shook his head. "We don't have time for this. Do you remember our current mission? At all?!"

"Yeah, making sure Luffy- Oh shit!" he shot up so he was kneeling down instead. "Binoculars!"

"You're welcome," Ace dryly stated as he found them and dropped them into Sabo's waiting hands.

"Holy shit." Came the whisper that fell from Sabo's lips.

"What?" Ace turned his head from where it was buried in his bushes to look.

Sabo was still immersed in the image beheld by the binoculars. While Ace was stuck watching two figures huddling together... suspiciously closely, now that he thought about it.

"No, Lu..."

Ace frowned, then finally demanded, "What's happening? Just because you've got the binoculars doesn't mean you can leave me in the dark!"

"I will never allow it!"

It was then Sabo actually stood up, immediately drawing attention from Law, followed by Luffy who took a while to snap out of the moment.

Smack.

Ace had given himself a good slap on the face.

"Huh?" Luffy was the first to speak up. His eyes widened upon seeing them, "What are you doing there? I thought you were busy?" He then started and looked around, "Are you hiding from another bad person?!"

He looked ready to kick someone's ass. Ace sighed and stood up, now revealing himself as well. "Look, Luffy..." What could he say?! What could he do to explain what he was doing?! Curse Sabo and his damn tendency to jump to conclusions like it was a colosseum event!

Luffy tilted his head in confusion, but at least he broke his fighting stance. "What?"

"Portgas-ya..."

The look on Law's face was less than impressed, and this prompted Ace to prod him instead, "So what were you two doing? Or should I ask, what were you doing to him that made him act this way?" Him being Sabo, as made obvious by Ace jabbing a thumb in his direction.

Speaking of Sabo, he was standing pretty still, apparently unable to think of something to say. Luffy watching them curiously may have caused the short circuiting of his brain.

God, and Ace thought that he was more reliable.

"I wasn't doing anything-" Law begun, though that may have been a bit too defensive since Ace didn't even bother waiting for him to finish to argue.

"The hell you're not! Nothing wouldn't have caused Sabo to react this way!"

"A-Ace..."

Ace whirled around, Sabo was finally speaking up. "So? What gives?"

And he threw himself at Ace again- Ace didn't even have enough time to dodge. "He's going to corrupt him!"

Law was facepalming.

Large, bold question marks could be seen above Luffy's head.

Ace finally understood.

"Alright, first, Sabo, get offa me-" And Sabo fell to the ground like a limp doll- "-second, you better explain yourself right now, Trafalgar."

"And like I said-" The irritation was beginning to build.

"Bullshit! Just tell me everything you told him!" Ace aggressively pointed a finger in Law's direction. "I bet- I bet-" Ace's eyes were flickering madly between Law and Luffy- "You know what I mean!"

And then it clicked in Law's head what Ace really meant. "Hell no- What the fuck, Portgas-ya?! You really think I would do it this early?"

"This early?" Fuck, wrong way to put it, Law thought, "You were planning on doing the thing with him at all?!"

Law wasn't sure how to reply, if he did love Luffy it would only be natural for him to want to do the thing with him- "Listen, Portgas-ya. I can promise you I wasn't going to force him into it. I wasn't even going to plant the idea in his head."

"What are you all talking about?" Luffy was still in the dark. Then he looked over at the downed Sabo. "Hey, is Sabo okay?"

"Luffy!" Sabo shot up again, now smiling merrily at Luffy, arms propping up his torso, "I'm so happy you're worried- I'm okay, Lu!"

"...Okay." Luffy wasn't too sure. Sabo was acting like he had a bit too much to drink.

Ace turned his head from the conversation, "Anyway- So I don't believe you."

Law couldn't remember a time where he had felt this annoyed. "And why not?"

"Because. Sabo?"

Sabo turned away from where he was grinning stupidly at Luffy and looked miffed. "What?"

"Get yourself together. What did you hear that made you react that way?"

Sabo shrugged, and elbows supporting his torso, he rested his chin in his hands. "I think they were going to kiss."

Ace stared.

"...What?"

"I thought you thought that they were going to do the thing!"

"The...The thing?!" Sabo spluttered out while Law smirked in victory. "No way! If I had heard that, I'd be dead from twenty consecutive heart attacks!"

"Really?!" Luffy asked, looking extremely worried, seemingly taking the claim a lot more seriously than the others present.

Sabo cringed a little, "Ah, no, Luffy, I was just exaggerating! Please don't believe me." He held his breath, watching Luffy intently for tears.

Ace shook his head slowly.

"So, now you believe me?"

Ace just nodded. He wasn't about to let Law look any more cocky than he already was. The damn smartass surgeon. So what if he was a tall, mature guy who had an upstanding education and immaculate list of achievements and made more money than him and Sabo combined? That didn't mean that he could walk over Luffy's older brothers.

"Idiot Sabo!"

Wham.

Law cringed inwardly at the sound while Ace whipped his head over to look at a teary Luffy standing over a Sabo who was clutching at his head.

"Idiot!" Luffy repeated. "You can't lie to me about something like that!"

"I'm sorry, Luffy..." The apology seemed quite strained from the pain that he was in.

Law started when he felt something wrap around his arm- and of course it was Luffy.

"I bet Torao would never lie to me! I'm not coming home for dinner!"

Law felt his lips curl up into that unstoppable smirk, it was made even sweeter from that look Ace was giving him.

"No- wait, Luffy!" Sabo cried out, getting to his feet.

"Come on Torao, we're going to your house!"

"Slow down, Luffy-ya." I need to see the look of defeat on his face a little longer.

"Uh, Luffy?" Ace called after him. "Be back by 10, alright?"

Luffy paused and turned his head. "Oh, okay! I will since you asked, Ace."

And then the two faded into the distance.

Ace turned on Sabo, who had slumped back onto the ground. "You're not going to just let them go, are you?"

"Luffy... Luffy must hate me now..."

"Ugh, whatever then, you stay here, or go home, or whatever you like. I'm going with them, because I am not letting Luffy go to that asshole's house alone. Who does he think he fucking is? I'm going to go give him a b-" And he walked away, continuing to complain to himself as he did.

"He... he hates me..."

owari

A/N: Sequel?