Good Vibrations
Always have a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses hope
Sam had to sit down the wind had been knocked out of him, he didn't even know that one simple word would have his whole world crumbling around him, the words Blaine had spoken were rocking his very soul. He'd always been this way, anyone who knew him, if nothing else, they knew this about him, if someone did anything to betray his trust he was done, it had always been that simple for him, he'd lost many a relationship and even friendships because of his high moral ground. When he'd finally met Mercy although the relationship was rocky on every level most of the time, due to their demanding lives, they were solid on the trust front, or so he thought.
The relationship wasn't even that mature for either of them to be thinking about other people, they'd given each other the best year of their lives, he thought they were happy "Are you sure?" he looked up at Blaine, his agent, wanting confirmation
"Dude I saw it with my own eyes, just thought you needed to know"
He was gutted, so hurt, he left set that evening ready to go to war, he burst into her apartment blazing "Is it true?"
"What?" Mercy's head spun round, surprised at his crash entrance and attitude "Is what true?"
"You and some guy at a bar?"
"What?" she rolled her eyes and got up
"Did you sleep with him?"
"Who told you that?"
"So, you did?"
"Sam" she walked towards him "It wasn't even like that, I was…it was just a…" she grabbed his arm "It wasn't what you're thinking"
"Not what I'm thinking?" he laughed "How many times have I heard the same shit"
"You're being totally unreasonable" she grabbed his arm "Listen"
"No" he pulled away from her "I'm so fucking done with women treating me like a fucking idiot"
"Who's treating you like an idiot" she asked "Sam" she grabbed his arm
"Mercy" he huffed "You know me" he looked into her eyes "I'm done, I deserve more than this"
"I'm sorry you…"
"Me too" he pulled away from her, walking around her apartment grabbing the few items he'd left there, handed her the keys back and walked out "Fuck it" he hissed walking towards his car, he'd had more than enough of relationships, it was time to have some long awaited alone time. There was something to be said about 6 relationships going down the drain because they were unfaithful, surely the problem was with him, shit like this doesn't fall just one way. "Sup?" he snapped his phone open "Dude I'm not in the mood to talk right now" he closed the call and jumped in his car it was for reasons like this he never gave his pad up.
He got into his bachelor pad and threw the few things he'd taken from her house onto the couch, life was too short, he was more pissed with himself for thinking he'd found someone special than he was with her for betraying him "Blaine" he answered the phone again, rolling his eyes "I'm not in the mood"
"Dude" Blaine 's voice rose "I've just had a call, you got that gig you wanted in Nigeria; they loved your guitar skills" he laughed "You'll be playing with no other than Fiokee" he laughed
"Seriously" Sam found a smile in there somewhere, he respected the man's skills "That's great, when do we go?"
"That's the thing it's tomorrow, for a week"
"That's fine" he smiled things were dead in the water at home anyway
"So, I'll see you in the studio then?"
"Yep"
"We'll leave straight after you finish so bring some things"
"Will do" he clicked the call off, opening it up at the sound of a message 'Fighting isn't a bad thing, but breaking up for us is a big thing, this is breaking my heart, come back' he read rolling his eyes at her message "Never know what you've got until it's gone" he hissed closing the phone and throwing it on the couch, he had no time for her shit. It was late in the evening he was hungry and tired; he'd spent 14 hours at the studio and was due in again first thing, it had been months since he'd slept in his own bed, he started packing some stuff, the plan to finish packing and fall asleep, dreaming of a big breakfast in the morning.
He was busy packing for the trip when his phone pinged again, he rolled his eyes, he was of a mind to leave it and get that sleep he'd promised himself, but curiosity took over and he flicked it open, eager to see what else she'd got to say for herself 'Each time we fight it feels like we're drifting apart, I don't want to lose you over something so stupid, can I not just say sorry, so we can get back to being us' "I'm concerned you think sleeping around is so damn trivial" he put the phone down, threw some more things in his case and crashed out on his bed. Try as he might, he couldn't get to sleep, he really thought their relationship was different, she'd said all the right things, they were so likeminded, how could he be so wrong about her.
'Sam, you know I love you more than anything or anyone, this is so stupid, just call me and we can sort this out, I'm not too proud to say sorry' flashed up on his phone, he decided not to open it as she was obviously seeing he'd read the previous ones and would just keep bugging him for the rest of the night, he lay listening to Fiokee's artistry until he fell asleep smiling at finally getting to do some work with the guy.
He woke up to the familiar bleeping on his phone telling him it was morning, he didn't mean to, but habit forced him to check what she'd said he grabbed the phone stopped the alarm and sat reading the messages 'We fight because we love each other way too much, but know that we got into this because I wanted the best for you, I made a mistake, how many times can I say I'm sorry' he read the new message on his phone "I bet you are" he flicked through
'You know us, when we're not fighting, we're there for each other, I'm trying to be there for you with whatever this is, but I can't help if you won't talk, please Sam' "Pity you didn't think to talk to me before going behind my back" he hissed throwing the phone down to jump in the shower, the rest of the band were going in at 06:00 and he didn't need to miss a minute.
He was part of a resident band at a few of the local studio's, it paid the bills and kept him in touch with what was going on out there, right now this one had more morning work than he'd have usually liked and had this been yesterday morning he'd have already been arguing with her. He played music, she sang, and you'd have thought that meant they were in the same place a lot of the time, but the opposite was true, she was forever jetting off to some performance leaving him behind for months. She was insecure, but about the right things, them not spending enough time together, her having to live her life according to gigs, leaving him to spend so much time alone, he was happy she thought about him before anything or anyone else.
He, on the other hand, was insecure about the wrong things, he needed to know who exactly she was singing with, who was in her changing room, conversations she'd had, with who, when, why, it was like the hot chair on university challenge or some show like that. He knew he was doing it and they both knew why, he'd had so many bad relationships, he had issues with trust, they'd been working on them since month four of their relationship, and they both thought the trust was there enough for him to let go a bit after nearly a year.
He came out the bathroom, got dressed, checking his look before grabbing his phone and making his way to the kitchen, there wasn't much there, he knew that, but he could hope maybe an apple was still green. He smiled at finding one of her Cereal bars by the bread tin, grabbed it and made for the door, he was only just realising she'd been in cleaning, that was who she was, that was who he knew. "Keys" he looked around the living room wondering what he'd done with them "Mer…" he stood thinking he didn't have that fallback anymore, she always knew where everything was, but today he'd have to search for them. He flung the cushions around looking for them, retracing his path as he came in, rummaging through things he knew he hadn't touched and getting frustrated for being late for work "Fuck" he hissed rolling his eyes on realising the dish was by the door specifically for that, because he kept losing them, he walked over to it and rolled his eyes again for them sitting there waiting for him "Get a grip" he hissed at himself grabbing them and leaving his place.
'Have a good life' he read on his phone before he opened his car door and jumped in "You too, with whoever" he threw the phone in its holder and pressed for his music to play before starting his journey. He got to the studio with ten minutes to spare, he sat outside waiting for the place to open up, his mind heavy on how happy we was until yesterday.
He decided to read the messages again, he might hate her right now, and maybe he always would, but they'd had a great friendship 'We fight, no denying that, but it doesn't change the fact that I fell asleep missing you last night, dreamt about you and woke up this morning missing the hell out of your fine ass, you mean the world to me, come back, pretty please' he smiled at the rows of kisses she'd put at the end of the message.
'Are you really just going to ignore me?' "She's getting the message" he laughed scrolling down
'I've got a million reasons in my head as to why you're doing this to me right now, I don't want to believe any of them, I want you to know you meant everything to me' "Past tense?" he questioned, wondering why seeing that felt so final to him, he scrolled down
'I must admit losing you wasn't something I saw coming, at least let me know what happened, please call me' "I told you in the beginning, when I'm done that's it, I walk away and forget" he sat talking to his phone in answer to her request, scrolling down to see the message that had caught his attention when he left the house. He turned the engine off and sat in the quiet for a few minutes, for the first time ever he was reflecting on something he'd lost.
"Dude" Hunter tapped his window startling him "Did you sleep here?"
"No" he laughed "I got here a bit early, flying out later"
"Yeah?" Hunter asked surprised
"Blaine got me a gig in Nigeria with Fiokee, it's only for a week, but it's a goal ticked off"
"I'd say" Hunter laughed "I can't believe Mercy threw you out so early, that's definitely a first"
"We actually split up last night"
"Oh" hunter frowned "You two were good together"
"Yeah, that's what I thought too"
"You want to talk about it?"
"No" he opened his car door "It's dead in the water" he stepped out to make his way over to the studio
"Okay but you know…"
"Yeah if I need to, thanks" he smiled at his friend "Let's get this take in one today"
"We can aim for it, but you know Seb" he laughed
"Are you going to answer that?"
"No" he shoved his phone in his pocket "Work to do"
"You know that girl loves you more than she loves herself?"
"I thought I knew that" Sam huffed "Let's just focus on work" he smiled at Joe stood in the doorway waiting for them "Morning" they knocked fists before getting into the studio to work, they had an hour before the artists started arriving. They'd spent the past three days doing two songs, it would have usually taken one, but this guy's girlfriend was a real clinger, she needed so much attention they were surprised his agent was paying for so much studio time.
"Do you want to get this?" Blaine looked up from the boards, pointing at Sam's phone "It's been off the hook"
"I thought I'd silenced it, sorry" he came out to grab it "15 calls?" he smiled, silencing it wondering why he's still got her logged as Bae in his phone, he was slipping, that was usually the first thing he'd do
They eventually finished just after lunch, Sam grabbed his things and made his way across town to the airport "You made it" Blaine stood near the check in waiting for him
"Why wouldn't I make it" he laughed "This is one of the more important things in my life" he frowned at Mercy not being there to hear he'd reached one of his milestones
"Here" he handed him the tickets "First class, call if you need anything but I know he'll look after you"
"I'm a big boy I can make it home" Sam laughed "I should check in" he pointed at the waiting assistant "I'll see you in a week"
"Don't forget to call" Blaine called after him
"Will do" Sam walked off waving
He went through customs and sat in the departure lounge drinking coffee, eating a sandwich, and wondering where life was going to take him now. That was one of his all-time failures in life he never thought past the here and now when he was in a relationship, he gave his all, and that might have been why he hated so much when things went wrong. The devil finds work for idol hands and minds he'd remembered he'd silenced his phone in the studio and sat now wondering what marvels Mercy had some up with in her begging process, he thought it might be fun to read through
'If I wasn't enough you should have said' "What?" he looked around knowing he'd said that a bit loud "Sorry, I just won on my race" he pointed to him phone, that one had hit him out the blue, she cheats and then flings it back at him "Priceless"
'You weren't just a lover you were my best friend, I'm losing so much, I'm sad it ended like this' "You're sad?" he laughed "Try building everything around one person, have them fling it back in our damn face, and then see how sad you get" he closed his phone he'd had enough of that sop, he thought if he carried on reading it, he'd fall into her damn trap, women could be so manipulative sometimes
He was sitting on the plane when the devil visited again, he opened his phone to read more messages 'I had plans for the rest of our lives' "So did I" he smiled 'One last rant and I'm done, I'll leave you alone' he scrolled down, intrigued with what she'd have to say 'I thought we were it, I thought we could get through anything, we had trust, honesty and above all that, love, I gave everything to you because you promised me my heart would be safe in your hands, and you do this, I'll never forgive you for this Sam, I'd never dream of treating you like this, I'd like to walk away from us knowing you knew I hated you, but I don't, I can't, all I can do is respect your choice, for whatever reason you chose not to discuss it with me first, and that's fine, 24 hours and I'm learning how to walk way too, I'm blocking your number, do the same to mine, and I mean it when I say have a good life, but know you missed out on an even better one with me, bye' he sat looking at the message, reading it again for good measure, this was a first, he felt sad
"Seatbelt Sir" the uniformed staff smiled at him "Drinks list and evening meal will be served ten minutes after seatbelt signs stop flashing" they pointed to the signal above his head
"Thank you" he took the drinks menu, closed his phone, and sat comfortable ready for lift off, he was always aright while in the air, but take-off and landing filled him with such fear a drink was all he could hope for "Sorry" he got their attention "Could I get a whisky and an extra pillow please?"
"Sure Sir" they smiled walking off
The plan was to have something to eat and get a good night's sleep on this flight, he'd be landing in Turkey in around eight hours' time for a five hour sit around in the lounge before taking the 10am to Nigeria which meant more food, sleep and hopefully he'd be met at the airport, do the three days' work he was expecting to do, before making the trip back. It was an easy week compared to what those bosses at the studio expected of him, 20 hour shifts, doing the same songs for near on two days, more if they were trying to break new people in
With the exception of eating, bathroom breaks and the odd coffee, he managed to travel for nearly 25 hours without a single distraction from anyone "That's me" he smiled at the guy holding his name up when he got to through customs holding his passport up for the man to see
"This way Sir" the jolly man guided him through into a waiting limo
"Oh" he sat forward at the song playing on the radio "Do you know this singer?"
"No" the elderly man smiled "Do you want me to change the channel?"
"No, it's fine" he sat back listening to Mercy's song on the radio amongst all the hustle and bustle of the streets they'd fell into
…This one is different, I might even let him hit it, oh, but he want to take his time, aye
I got a brand new attitude, ever since you gave me those butterflies
I got a brand new attitude, ever since you gave me those, gave me those butterflies
Of course, that song was all a out them, she'd released it about five months ago after one of his freak outs about some guy that had walked into the studio while he was there, asking some goon he was playing for if he'd ever met that lit Mercy Jones. Looking back at it, he could see how ridiculous he was being, she didn't even know it had happened let along to have had anything to do with leading this guy on. He lay back listening to the song assuring himself that this was the very last time he was going to think about the woman and that he was moving on, she'd blocked him and maybe he should do the same, he was just having difficulty taking his phone out of his pocket "I know the number by heart anyway" he told himself deeming it a stupid move to remove it.
And I got to admit, I'm not used to feeling love like this, touched like this, sending me good morning messages
And you already won my mother over, being my soldier, keeping me sober, you're the angel on my shoulder
I got a brand new attitude (brand new, I got), ever since you gave me those butterflies (ever since you gave me those)
I got a brand new attitude (butterflies, oh), ever since you gave me those butterflies (yeah)… 'Butterflies' by Gracie Ella
He could say what he wanted about the girl right now, but that voice was undeniable, she had that special something that made you have to listen to her when she shared it.
"Your hotel Mr Evans"
"Sam please" he smiled at the guy in the mirror "Mr Evans is my Dad"
"Everything is paid for, you have the evening free, but I'll be picking you up at 08:00 sharp" he jumped out the car to grab Sam's bags and deliver them to the Porter waiting at the door "Mr Evans" he told the man, watching him grab the bags
"Mr Evans" the porter smiled waiting for Sam to follow him, he tipped the driver and followed the guy in
The hotel room was exceptional, he could see himself doing more work with Fiokee, the first stop was the bathroom, then food, then sleep after a few drinks, he sat on the balcony sipping looking out over the views across the city which were spectacular, if he had the time he would have ventured out, but this was work, he fell asleep jet lagged.
He woke up refreshed the next morning the bed had massaged all the nooks out of him, he felt at least five years younger as he prepared for his day, starting with the full breakfast he'd promised himself a few days ago before he met the driver to make his way to the studio. "Hi" he smiled honoured to finally meet the man himself
"Welcome, hope we can make this a productive session" Fiokee smiled shaking his hand
"I should hope so after all the trouble you went to, to get me here" Sam laughed
"Oh" Fiokee looked at him "It wasn't me" he laughed "I was in LA a few days ago, all unconcerned having a coffee and I met this rather persuasive woman, determined to get you a wish come true, she brought me a coffee and told me I'd regret it if I didn't let you play on my next record" he laughed "I got such good vibes I thought I'd try you out"
"Mercy?" Sam looked at him shocked
"Yeah Mercy Jones, brilliant artist, I couldn't deny her" Fiokee laughed
"So, you were the guy she was hugging?"
"Yeah I think we hugged, yeah" he looked at Sam "Did I offend her?"
"No" Sam smiled "But I think I did" he walked away from him taking his phone out 'I've done some pretty stupid things in my life, and yes this one tops all of them, I'm sorry for mistrusting you, I did and said things I shouldn't have, I hurt you intentionally, failed you miserably, and I'm truly sorry, can you forgive me for the very last time, I love you, I never stopped, can we at least talk?' he sent the message 'Please?' he tapped in seconds later, smiling when his phone rang and it was her
"What do you want Sam?"
"To talk" he hesitated "I mean to apologise"
"You'd need to tell me what you did first"
"I fucked up babe"
"Sam" Fiokee called him to start work
"Mercy, I've got to go, I'm in Nigeria as I'm sure you know, but as soon as I get back, can I come over, explain myself?"
"Again" he could tell she was rolling her eyes "That's my downfall with you isn't it" there was definitely a smile in her voice "I always have a heart that forgives the worst"
"A mind that forgets all the bad things I say" he smiled at this being the beginning of their sorry
"And a soul that never give up on hope for us"
"I love that part of you the most" he smiled at that being true
"Sam" Fiokee called again
"Got to go babe, love you"
"Always" she replied, he put the phone down ready to produce his best piece of work yet. He barely got through a day without calling her ten times apologising, talking about his experience, the good vibes, and then his time was up and he was on his way back home, edgy and excited.
"Babe" he knocked the door, smiling when it swung open "Babe" he walked in following the rose petals through to her bedroom "Babe" he gasped at seeing her naked on the bed "I'm…"
"I think you've said sorry enough times over the past week, I just need you to let me feel your sincerity" she purred
"Getting on that" he pulled her ass down the bed, rested her legs on his shoulders and went down on her
Every good thing she had inside her came rushing to the spot where his body connected with hers she let out a moan at him finding the quickest way he knew to get her to beg, and smiled grabbing his hair when he pushed her past it "Babe" she gasped, already needing to explode
"I'm sorry babe" he stopped to look into her eyes before his head went back down, the contact accelerated the feeling for her and she yelped at it, unable to control the shudder running through her that quickly followed
"Don't stop" she held his head in place, as waves of spasms rushed through her
"Was that sincere enough for you?" his head popped up asking
"Somewhat" she giggled "Still thinking"
"That's fine I've got at least a week" he stood up to take his clothes off "Did I say thanks?"
"We can get onto that when you've finished with sorry" she sat watching him undress
"Are we ever going to work again" he laughed