River Deep, Mountain High
Don't let people make you feel bad or guilty for living your life, it is your life, live it the way you want
Sam sat in the usual bar watching the love of his life perform, she was in Vegas for four weeks and he'd managed to get some time away from the family cake making business in Utah to visit her down there. This was a very different life to the one he was used to living, his family were Mormon and very strict ones, so even as a male in the family there wasn't very much leeway for him. When he was at college the relationship worked well, because of course he was living in and in the main free to do as he pleased, but since finishing his life had pretty much been at home.
Cedes was from a different part of the universe according to his family values, they never knew she existed of course, she wasn't a Mormon, she was black, and straight out of Compton, if they'd have even met her they would never have put the two of them together. But they'd met a college when neither of them had tasted freedom, or even got an extra penny to rub together and they'd stuck.
The relationship was interesting on both sides, they learned a lot about different cultures from each other, Sam very rarely talked about his religion, he wasn't ashamed of it, he just didn't read it to mean what his parents did, and his watered down interpretation wasn't acceptable in his community.
Cedes, had luckily got a music contract straight out of college, she was a brilliant singer and if he thought about it, all round artist, he wasn't bad either, but that wasn't the vision his family had for him. She'd never really stopped working since she'd started, so for the past four years he'd been following her around when he could, social media was their main mode of contact, so they tapped into each other at least four times a day
Their relationship wasn't really something he'd gotten any control over from the start, he'd been sat in the lecture room, trying to get some study done due to the football team and their cheerleaders taking over the canteen and the library being full, when she burst into the room, found centre stage, and blasted out a song that took his breath away. He fell in love in that second, but it still took him a full week to actually walk up to her and ask for her number, he smiled remembering the moment
Flashback
"Hi" he stopped in front of her as awkward as anyone could ever make doing something like that feel, chasing girls wasn't a thing good Mormon boys did, he guessed she sensed that because she didn't seem phased
"Hi" she smiled back at him showing those teeth that brought an automatic smile to his face, still does
"I'm Sam, I was in the…"
"Yeah I saw you, but you didn't speak"
He gasped at the fact that the woman was reading his mind before she even knew his damn name, he was pumped "I thought it would have been rude to and after that song" his eyes actually popped "I was too blown away to"
"Thanks" she laughed
"So…" he wiped sweat off his forehead and rubbing his hand on his trouser leg "I wondered if you'd want to go get a coffee or something sometime"
"Give" she turned to one of her girlfriends standing slightly behind her, I watched her put ten dollars in her hand smiling "I won" she told me
"You won?"
"Yeah I said I could get at least a date with you before the end of the month, but I hope this is more"
"I hope so too" he smiled
"I'll speak to you later, set that date up" he was stuck, he watched her nod and walk away, her girls giggling like those school girls you hate to see, only right now he wasn't hating them, he was thanking whoever it was up there for making that work for him, he was smiling for the rest of the damn day, he'd just made his first friend, bagged his first date, and won her a bet to boot
End of Flashback
What was about to happen wasn't the fault of either of them, he didn't even know this shit was about to hit, they'd never made any plans past being together, they both understood her career came first. He didn't know how it had leaked, maybe a video was uploaded of one of her gigs he was at or something, although what his family were doing watching stuff like that was beyond him, whatever or however it had happened they found out about Cedes.
Right out the flame picturing love, your better than, more than enough, yeah
And the lights don't seem to shine as bright as you do, no the lights don't seem to shine as bright as you do, oh
His attention was drawn to her singing their favourite song, he'd said some words following a milestone in their relationship, it had taken a lot for them to reach it, him with his beliefs and her with her need to feel loved, but they'd reached it, it was beautiful and deserved to be marked. So, unknown to him she'd taken those words and put them to music added her own and turned it into a musical sensation, only they knew the significance of it and to be honest he really didn't mind remembering the moment. They say your first love is always the deepest, and for a long while he'd thought that was a myth, but Cedes and he had made sure the saying, for them anyway, could be written in stone
Go but you never give yourself credit, you don't understand but I want you to get it
The sun try's extra hard impressing you, so how can I think any less of you
That was his verse, some of those words had flew out of his mouth as he lay there taking in what had just happened, they hadn't planned it, but neither of them seemed to be regretting it, it felt like the next natural progression in their relationship that had come at the right time, he looked at her and smiled, sad inside that he was about to break her heart
Whenever the stars are making wishes are they wishing on you, I'm putting my bets on you aspire to a supernova
Cause the lights don't seem to shine as bright as you do, no, no, no the lights don't seem to shine as bright as you do
"Hey" Beaste; her manager, sat at the table he was at "Never expected you to get here tonight, she never said"
"Yeah" he smiled taking the lemonade, made to look like a stiff drink out his hand "I needed to speak to Cedes"
"Important conversation?"
"You'll look out for her for me won't you?"
"That kind of conversation?" Beaste asked shocked
"Just promise me, anything starts going south with her and you let me know, no one else I don't care what she says"
"I know what's good for her, even if she doesn't" Beaste laughed "I'll definitely call you"
"Hey" Cedes rocked up at the table, giving him a kiss, he didn't know he needed so much until just then, he found himself not wanting to let her go "Hey" she pulled herself out of his arms to look around "They'll be telling us to get a room in a minute" she laughed "I didn't know you meant you were actually coming tonight"
"Yeah" he looked at Beaste "We need to go back to your hotel"
"I need to finish this gig first" she smiled kissing him again, before going back to the stage to finish her show
He sat watching her wondering how this conversation was going to end, how or even what he was actually going to ask. Everything had been so clear on the way over, he was going to tell her how things were going to have to be from now on, where she'd fit into all that, assure her things wouldn't change for them and of course she loved him that much she'd just agree to it all.
But now she was standing in front of him he knew there was no way she was ever going to agree to some bull crap like that, it was all to gain for him and all to lose for her, why would anyone agree to that. He held his hand up for another drink, he needed to stop sweating, and fretting although he was preparing to leave everything that ever meant anything to him right there in Vegas.
"So" she finally sat on his lap "What's to talk about?"
"Go get changed" he flicked her off his lap
"Sounds serious" she rolled her eyes and went off to do as he'd asked, coming back to the table half an hour later looking a picture "Ready?" she smiled across the room at Beaste and waved before they left for the hotel. Cedes was her usual chatty self all the way there, she was always the one with all the excitement going on in her life, so it wasn't even strange that she took all the attention "Why are you being so quiet?" she finally asked when they got in the elevator
"Am I?" he asked not wanting to get into anything in public
"Is this serious?" she turned to ask him, concerned at the fog that had just come over them, the elevator door opened before he could answer and they walked the short distance to the apartment "So, is it?" she walked in, threw her purse on the table, and dropped her coat where she stood
"Yeah, kind of serious" he pulled his hair back off his face "This isn't what I wanted for us, if it were up to me it wouldn't be happening, but…"
"You didn't want this?"
"This I want, of course I do" he grabbed her hands "I started wrong" he pulled her to sit down "My parents found out about us, I don't really know how, but they knew your name and now…"
"Now they want you to stop seeing me?"
"They want me to marry this girl" he couldn't look at her as he spoke
"What?" she pulled away from him "You said no right?"
"Cedes" he looked into her eyes "We're talking about my parent, they're Mormons I told you that, they just believe in…"
"Are you telling me you didn't say no?"
"No" he grabbed for her hands again, but she pulled away "I'm saying I had no choice" the upset showing on both their faces "But I don't want to lose you, I…"
"Please don't tell me you want me to sit around waiting for you to fuck your wife before you come back to me with your sloppy seconds"
"I wouldn't sleep with…"
"Don't be so fucking naïve Sam, it's wife, then house, then family" she counted them out on her fingers to him "Even I know that"
"But I don't want to lose you"
"Then forget her, forget them, and be with me"
"I can't"
"You're answer should have been okay or yes, fuck Sam" she got up angry and shocked at the same time "I didn't even see this shit coming" she hissed at herself "I'm not going to beg, or make a scene" she looked at him "And I don't want you to choose between me or your family, it was a stupid thing to ask" she sat down "You know I'm still in love with you, maybe I always will be, but I deserve more than what you're trying to offer me right now" she grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes "And so do you, I'll be alright" she assured him
"Cedes"
"Don't Sam" she held his face between her hands and kissed his lips "Just go, and be happy"
"Cedes"
"Please Sam, just go" she knew if he'd have said another word she'd have used everything she had to stop him from ever leaving, he didn't deserve to lose his family over her, that wasn't a sacrifice she felt she would have been willing to ask of him, and she knew he'd never ask it of her.
Her life was very different to his, she was a bossy bad ass bitch from Compton, with a diva voice to fit the attitude, and when she let her tongue go everyone needed to watch out. Being the only child, with a father who was a bank manager she lived a comfortable life compared to some she knew, and although they went to church on a regular basis, when she was a child, religion wasn't something that was ever forced on her.
She'd gone to college to learn, that was her only focus when she left Compton and still was even when she walked into the great hall for the first time, but spinning round to find Sam Evans standing there just hit her like a brick, everything she'd ever dreamt about in a partner didn't fly out the window, because there was no window there, and just like that her dream changed
Flashback
"Seriously?" Tesla one of her homegirls looked at her like she'd gone mad
"What?" Cedes looked at Tesla and Jane looking at her grinning
"I saw that" Tesla laughed
"We… saw that" Jane added laughing "Cedes he's …"
"I wasn't looking at anyone" she flung her hands up in the air flippantly
"You were checking that white boy out; I dare you to deny it" Tesla laughed
"White boy?" she laughed "Was he white, I didn't even notice that" she laughed, at them stating the obvious
"Girl you about to lose your own damn mind" Jane snapped her fingers at her "No, no, no" she repeated several times trying to tell Cedes what to do, she knew her girl better than that, except for Mr Jones himself nobody told her what to do, and now she was at college not even him
"He don't even look like that type a white boy" Tesla laughed
"What kind?" Cedes asked laughing at the fact that she didn't even know that white was white and black was black
"I can see from here your too much for that not a brother over there" Tesla looked Cedes up and down
"I think of myself as volatile, accessible, and bitch I can be anybody's type" Cedes looked over at his fine ass smiling back at her
"Ten dollars says you're wrong" Tesla bet, well Cedes already had him on her radar, she knew it was going to be the easiest ten dollars she was ever going to make
"Give me a month" she sucked air through her front teeth at her girl and did the shake on it "Easy money" she laughed
She'd seen him go into the lecture room and thought she'd take the opportunity to work him out for a second see if that look he gave her earlier in the week was something or just him looking around and snap that he bit. She wasn't even going to hide her shit she was super excited at getting his attention and when he finally spoke to her and asked her out, she was so smug she paid for the coffee with that ten dollar bill, she took off her girl, right in front of his face.
End of Flashback
She sat watching him leave and all she could think about was how amazing that first date was, her heart was racing, her mouth dry, hands sweating, and her mind was blown. She'd left that date in love, and that hadn't changed even now she was watching him walk away, she didn't need to ask about his feelings she knew them, for him to jump in his car and drive through into the night to get to her just to deliver that news, meant he still felt the same.
"Sam" she called after him, he turned as if he'd been expecting her to call him, she didn't say anything else he moved quickly across the room and hugged her tight "One last night" she grabbed his neck and pulled him down onto the couch they didn't resist, they knew this was the last time, and they intended on using up every minute of the night they had left "What time are you due back?" she looked at the daylight trying to peek into the room
"I'm not going back"
"Sam" she looked at him with those eyes that told him he was being ridiculous "You're going back, this is your family"
"You could be my family, couldn't you?"
"I could" she rolled her eyes "But what happens when you're working god knows where, and I'm touring?"
"You'd make enough money for us to live"
"So, you'd be happy living in hotel rooms, getting jobs for weeks at a time, living out of a damn suitcase?"
"You do it"
"Because I know I have you waiting, or did have you" she smiled "And I'm happy that you're at home doing something you love doing" she run her fingers through his hair "You've got to go Sam"
"I know, but I don't want to"
"What time are you due back?"
"Ten" he frowned "You're going to have to throw me out, you know that?"
"What do you think I'm trying to do?" she frowned "You're just making this so hard for me babe, you need to leave"
An hour later they finally said their tearful goodbye, he could hear her crying through the door, all he wanted to do was turn around and go back, he wasn't ready to leave this, he was never going to be ready. He banged the elevator button and stood fighting his feeling until the elevator got to him "Bye babe" he turned to look at her door one more time, smiling when he saw her standing there
"Bye babe" she waved
"I'll never love again"
"Me neither" she smiled watching him step into the elevator and disappear before she burst into tears again, the pain was excruciating
"Hey" his voice quiet as she answered the phone to him four hours later
"Hey" she smiled at hearing him "You know this is going to have to stop, we agreed a clean break"
"I know I just miss your love"
"It's still there" she laughed
"Sing to me"
"What do you want me to sing?" she laughed
"You know what I want you to sing" he laughed "Pretend we're lying in bed again that first time, so I can pretend this is all going to start again for us, someday"
"Sam"
"Please babe" he took a deep breath "I'm just ten miles from home, about to embark on a life that's going to make me the saddest man in the world, I need something to remind me to smile"
"Okay" she giggled "I guess I can do that for you"
"You guess right" he sat listening to her singing into his phone
You know the pressure it takes to make diamonds and pearls so don't let up
I love the way you carry your weight and every mess you make is beautiful, so much more than you'll ever know
And the light don't seem to shine as bright next to you
"Sam" she screamed at hearing a screech of wheels followed by a bang "Sam" she called into the silence, there was shouting, some more banging and someone shouting something she couldn't make out "Sam, what's happened?" she asked fearing the worst. There was scuffling for sure, it sounded intense, she didn't speak she was trying too hard to hear what was happening and then she heard what sounded like the beginnings of a bang and everything went quiet, she sat frozen, cold, and helpless "Sam" she burst into tears fearing the worst had happened, all the call backs got no response
"Cedes" Beaste answered the call on the second ring "What's up?"
"I think…" she got out before she started crying uncontrollably
"What's happened?" Beaste asked when she calmed down a bit
"It's Sam I think he's…" she couldn't get the word out "I need to get to Utah"
"You mean you need to work tonight?"
"Don't tell me what I mean Beaste, move things around I need to be in Utah today"
"Okay, give me an hour"
"I'm leaving now, this is an emergency" she burst into tears again
"Call me when you get there"
She didn't answer him she cut the call, grabbed her coat, and left the hotel the cab was going to cost but she was in no mood to drive herself. She sat in the back, trying his phone, humming nervously, and tapping her foot, stopping only once for a bathroom break "Ten miles" she gasped at seeing the sign "Will you take me to the nearest hospital please?" she instructed the driver, watching her re-direct her satnav to make her way.
"Miss" she smiled when Cedes gave her the large tip
"Sam, Sam Evans?" she ran in shouting at whichever nurse would listen to her "I'm looking for Sam Evans" she focused on a nurse she thought was listening to her
"Try reception" the nurse pointed her in the right direction
"Sam Evans, I believe my husband was in some kind of accident" she ran up to the receptionist shouting
"Room 308" she pointed down the corridor "His.." she watched Cedes run off down the corridor "Family are there" she raised her eyebrows and carried on writing
"Sam" she burst into the room shouting "Sorry" she looked around at the shocked faces "What happened?" she gasped at the sight of him hooked up to machines, rushing towards his bed "Sam" she grabbed his face crying
"Could you…" a stern male voice responded, she turned to see the man she assumed was his dad showing her the door, she looked around the room at the four people stood glazed over, unwilling to make a scene she walked out knowing he'd followed her. "We know who you are, and we'd like you to leave Sam alone, you've done enough damage, don't you think?"
"I didn't…" she started to protest, remembering Sam would never thank her for being out of line with his family "Yes Mr Evans" she smiled and walked away, she wasn't leaving, she found a quiet corner to sit in, biding her time until she could go in to visit him. It was the dead of night before she got the opportunity to sneak into his room again, she sat crying as seeing him so vulnerable, she sat watching him breathe "Wake up babe" she rubbed his forehead "Please wake up babe"
Go but you always try to impress it, you're more than a man and I want you to get it
The sun try's extra hard impressing you, so how can I think any less of you, than the best of you
"Babe" she stopped singing at his hand moving just a flinch, but it moved "Can you wake up for me babe?" the hope dwindling as fast as it came when she realised he wasn't responding "I'll keep singing, you love when I sing" she smiled squeezing his hand firmer "You need to wake up soon though babe, because when your family come back I won't be able to see you again" she told him, getting up to kiss his lips, stroking his hair and watching his chest rise and fall as she sang to him
Whenever the stars are making wishes are they wishing on you, I'm putting my bets on you aspire to a supernova
Cause the lights don't seem to shine as bright as you do, no, no, no the lights don't seem to shine as bright as you do 'Supernova' by Bellah
"Babe"
"Sam" she looked up "You woke up?" she smiled at their eyes meeting "What happened?"
"Drunk driver, I'm guessing, he just came straight at me" he kissed her forehead "You know that Tina turner song about rivers?"
"River deep mountain high?" she looked at him puzzled
"Yeah" he laughed, wincing at the pain "Well I climbed the highest mountain and swam the deepest river to get back to you"
"Babe" she moaned
"I'm not arguing, I've made my choice" he held his hand out for her to grab, smiling when she did "There's no one else as important in this world as you for me"
"Your family?"
"It was ordained that man should leave his mother and flee to the woman that he loves, that's a paraphrase of Matthew 19" he smiled
"Now you're quoting the bible at me for your argument?" she laughed
"No, I'm telling you which part of the bible I'll be quoting to my family" he smiled "Marry me Cedes"
"In a heartbeat"