Chapter Five

An Absence of Light

There is no darkness, only the absence of light. At least that was what Amara thought after Dean Winchester had changed her. She had touched light when Dean gave her a kiss. He gave her a different perspective and point of view on the world and humans created by her brother, God.

Her brother could never easily explain why he created the creatures and the lands they claimed as home. She merely felt it was her brother's way of filling his ego and wanted more praise than he was getting long before Earth came about. He always had a droll and pompous way for wanting attention. All she ever asked for was to receive his love in return, but he ignored her cries. God had to ask for love and acceptance from his angels and everyone else.

Dean on the other hand showed Amara the world through compassion. And through that compassion she was able to relate with everything her brother created. It's an extraordinary place of people, animals, and other living organisms that share common emotions and community. She was more than happy to share her own humanlike experiences with others as well. It was a shame her brother couldn't truly appreciate it all.

Due to unfortunate circumstances Amara could now see the world as a dark pit and there's a magnet in her heart tugging her closer to the deepest and darkest cavern. She was darkness, she kept reminding herself. There was no need to fear what she already is. Or maybe it wasn't fear?

Back at the bunker Amara was in on a plan the Winchester's had to trap her brother and kill him. At least she tried get her brother to change his mind on destroying his creation and would've saved him at last minute. It had all been a set up for her too. Dean was going to send Lucifer's son to explode her in that room along with her brother.

She had heard of heartbreak and betrayal, and she had been experiencing it ever since she broke away from Jack in the Empty and caused it to break apart. Before becoming a part of her brother to make him stronger in those last minutes so he could get the both of them out of the trap she could identify herself feeling utter shock of what Dean was doing. It wasn't enough to make her mad at the entire world, but she wanted someone to suffer her pain. She had loved Dean. But she guessed no good deed goes unpunished. All the people she loved would end up betraying her.

Amara found herself on a long stretch of an empty sidewalk in a park. It's nighttime with a dense fog consuming the air and can be seen better under the tall white lit lampposts. She could hear late night car races in the distance and the tall pine trees covered the moon's light.

Her white dress and bare feet dragged on the ground as she couldn't properly fit into it. She'd walked a long way and ignored the sores and cuts at the bottom of her feet. She felt cold but didn't care. Amara came back as a baby again. She had been through three different families. All of which she took their souls so she could feed, get stronger, and grow older. Now she could pass for the age of ten.

There it goes again. Amara placed her arm over her stomach and squirmed. An uneasy feeling of sadness and tensing nerves trickled throughout her body. It happened every time she pictured Dean in her mind. Whether or not if it was a happy or a terrible memory, she wanted it to stop! It hurt too bad.

There were no tears. She was too hell bent on getting revenge.

Unfortunately, Dean as she found out from being inside of Jack had passed on and is in Heaven. There was nothing she could do about that. She wasn't going to hurt Sam. She had a soft spot for him. So, she turned to the only person Dean never knew existed. His own daughter.

God at one point when they made up and traveled together told her all about Courtney. She had to promise not to reveal this information ever to Dean. According to God he didn't want a father and daughter plot in his stories. He didn't want Dean too happy. Whatever. There was also something he mentioned about the angel Castiel being the definitive guardian to Dean's daughter. Castiel would end up prioritizing her and only her. It would've messed up his story immeasurably. He needed them apart.

Over time Amara figured out her brother was using Dean and Sam as pawns keeping them stuck in a loop of lives they couldn't take control of. Yep, that's her brother and knew his needs all too well to feel in complete power over others.

There was one thing Amara wanted to know from Dean. She knew know she'd never get her answer as Heaven wouldn't allow her in nor would the new God, Jack would. She wanted to know why? After everything she'd done for Dean. At the very least Sam tried to stop him from exploding the room she and her brother were about to perish in. Sure, it was because he wanted to save Jack, but it would've meant the end and a way out from her inevitable doom.

After walking through the park Amara came at an intersection where one car went by and a few people out and about shopping. The small town was decorated in Christmas lights and businesses were opened late. There were no children around, only grown-ups who looked perplexed by her appearance however never said anything and went about their business.

That was a problem humans had. Amara had to admit that while she has taken interest in humanity, they still had plenty of faults. Sure, she's older than what she appears to be. However, she looked like a lost child without an authority figure, scraped up, and without shoes as she walked the sidewalks among them. All she got were stares and people glanced away.

If she were to choose a human right now in front of everyone to suck the soul out of, Amara, wondered if anyone would stop or keep walking without the blink of an eye. She was feeling hungry suddenly. The need for feeding was slowly creeping up on her.

A hand clamped down on her shoulder without warning that she jolted and spun around to see who it was. Hair stuck to her small face and as she removed the strands away it was an elder man that stood above her with concern in his eyes. His white hair framing his forehead through the fedora he wore. "Little girl I beg your pardon," he said. "Where are your parents?"

"What's it to you?" Amara took a few steps back from the man uncertain of his intentions.

"You're out in the cold in a dress without shoes." The man continued. "You seem to need some help."

"I am hungry." Amara answered rapidly.

The man chuckled a bit. "My child, I need to report you to the police department if you don't tell me where your parents are."

Amara gripped the old man's arm in a speedy effort." Please," Amara pleaded but remained as though she were demanding him. "I'm hungry."

He watched the girl as though she were a lost puppy who begged for food. He caved in and told her that a round the clock restaurant that served burgers and breakfast food was around the corner. They walked alongside each other, and he kept a watchful eye on the girl.

"What is your name any way?"

"Amara." She answered vaguely.

"That's beautiful. Do you happen to have a last name?"

"No, but if I did it's none of your concern." Her tone bit like a venomous snake.

The man took a deep breath as he wanted to call her out on being rude. But the girl looked as though she'd been through something. She acted in an apathetic manner. He calmed himself and wasn't going to take it personally. "Here we are." He said opening the door.

Amara looked up at the neon sign that read 'Wendy's 24/7 Diner'. Very self-explanatory as to why it's open for 24 hours. She stepped into a bright and homey room. Some 70's or 80's song was playing from the juke box to her left. Bette Davis Eyes, she believed. Another piece of humanities makings that Amara simply enjoyed was getting to know and learn about music. This was a song she had enjoyed before. The man followed her into the restaurant and took off his black coat and gave it to Amara. "Go sit in an empty booth I'll order some food for you."

He walked over to the bar counter to get one of the waiters attention. Amara hugged the coat close to her finding a booth to slide into. She picked one where she could watch the man talking to the young blonde employee who looked to be in his early 20's. She didn't realize how cold she was until this mans coat gave her the warmth her body needed, and it made her feel better.

Amara could see some couple sitting across from her staring, but she held the coat closer to her freezing hands and chest. She pulled her feet up onto the seat and laid the coat over them. It was so comfortable that she could fall asleep. She let her head lean back with her eyes closed and opening them back up she watched the chandelier above her. It wasn't fancy or anything. There was one bulb that kept flickering.

She stopped watching the bulb tilting her head upright and looked at the old man as he conversed with the employee. The employee slowly glanced at her as the old man pointed in her direction. What was he doing? Was he reporting her now?

As the old man began walking toward the booth Amara sat in she could hear him thank the employee. "I ordered a buffet for you. You'll be feeling normal soon."

Amara highly doubted that. She didn't believe him anymore. "I need to use the bathroom. I'll be right back." She tossed the warm old man's coat off her, scooted over, and stood up from the table.

"It's down the hall from where we entered, and it'll be to your right."

"Thanks." Amara said and when she began walking away her eyes rolled.

She watched the blonde haired employee the old man talked to go into the hallway and followed him. He entered a room that said 'Lounge, Employees Only' on the door. She opened the door for the women's room before the door he entered closed. Amara never entered the women's room and instead stood in front of the door the employee entered to eavesdrop.

Inside the room Amara could hear him talk about the man she came into the restaurant with and about herself.

"Yeah. Sheriff Patton? I had a man come in with a lost girl, or she seems to be lost. No info, only a first name. Amara. She's wearing a white dress, nothing else. About 9 or 10 years old."

Amara waited until he was finished before going into the room that looked like a small, enclosed cafeteria. When she opened the door to go in he jumped nearly out of his skin. "What are you doing? You shouldn't be in here. Employee's only." He pointed for her to get out.

"I know, I can read." Amara said sarcastically pushing a small strand of her hair behind her ear. "I know that you called the police. I've overheard by the lady's room, and you only left out one detail."

He crossed his arms leaning against the table behind him looking at her intently. "Oh? And what's that?"

Amara smiled before getting closer and opening her mouth, but no words came out.

AN- This was a spur of the moment chapter idea I got last night. I was going to take a few weeks break from this story, however I had to get this out. I've recently made a tumblr fan page here- https colon forward slash forward slash moonlightwillows-fanfiction. tumblr. com or moonlightwillows-fanfiction

It is best viewed on a desktop. I also created a playlist/soundtrack to this story. The link is on my tumblr.

For anyone reading this, I hope you all enjoy the holidays and time off. Stay safe.