—

7am Sunday

Dawn is here, bright and shimmering as the sun kisses the dew of the earth. At least I think it is, as I can't seem to open my crusted eyes or move my useless legs. I deeply wish the beauty and cheerfulness of the day would all go to blazes as I experimentally roll my jelly-like ankles. Voices filter vaguely down the hall through my cracked door and I wonder if anyone else here is having the same type of morning.

'Rise and shine, mortal. You're running late.' (Ugh, five more minutes, Loki?)

"Push-ups first today. Then, if you do well, you will do some special legwork as a reward— " (Thanks, Natasha.)

"No, I think a run is the best way to really greet the day, don't you agree?" (Steeeeeve. Nope.)

"Not before procuring a hearty meal to break the young maiden's fast! By the stars, yes— fresh venison with almond milk and the Hulk will be overseeing the vegetal portion of the— "

"HULK SMASH EGGS! VEGGIE OMELETTE!"

A chorus of indignant voices shout back in reply, directly into my oversensitized brain. Apparently today's schedule is not as well coordinated as yesterday's. Their words tumble over each other as they each argue their various points of view.

It's chaos. And who thrives in chaos?

Loki.

That low-down, overbearing snake.

That's it. No more. I've had enough and this will be over today.

"NO!"

Wow. I said it. Out loud. Outside of my head. That felt good. Like a baby learning words for the first time.

'What did you just say Midgardian?'

They'll be able to hear me whether I speak inside my mind or outside it. Might as well say it all out loud. I jump to my feet, pull back the curtains to let the light in, and start prowling the room.

"I'm sure you all meant well (not you, Loki), but when it comes to my life, it will be me choosing what I do, not any of you."

I can picture Loki frowning. 'This is for your benefit, my dear Rogue.'

Rounding on my desk as I lap the room, I bang my fist on it for emphasis. "Number one, don't call me 'my dear.' It's creepy. Number two, you've all been making my decisions for me and I'm sick of it! I am in charge again and nothing will happen without my direct consent!"

I stop to catch my breath.

"Look y'all, maybe I do want that almond milk… or, maybe I want water instead, or juice, or whatever. Natasha, why can't I just do resistance bands? Or, in fact, sit on the couch all day if I feel like it? Steve, I prefer dancing for exercise. Running doesn't do it for me. And don't get me started on the two chefs in my kitchen! I get to choose which things I do without being pushed into them!"

Now I'm on a roll. This feels good. My desk might disagree though, its little legs shaking as I rattle it with my fist.

"Your voices are all so overwhelming! You don't realize what a commanding effect you have on me— I can never get away from any of you! It's like I'm not being given the space to think anything through for myself!"

Pacing feels empowering; Pointing my finger at the empty air for emphasis feels fantastic.

"And Loki— I know you're behind all of this, egging them on."

Long pause.

Loki began carefully, "I suppose perhaps you could say we have been a bit overzealous. But I know what's best and you'd do well to heed my plans."

He regains his stride and the silky, sly voice turns to something more forceful. It is easy to envision him in the role of royal prince destined to rule.

"I won't give up power so easily. You can't just override what I'm trying to accomplish here.'

"You're wrong. Loki, if you don't stop trying to overrun my mind, and wheedling the others to go along with you, I'll have the professor block you out, pushed down into the darkest depths of my brain where you can't return from."

'You wouldn't dare.' For the first time, his silver tongue slips and Loki actually sounds nervous. Good.

"Oh yes I would! Even if you do actually have some good ideas about my well being, I get to call the shots and decide what to do and when! I get to finish my own thoughts, and I can say no whenever I want to! So think about that, you crazy mischief maker!"

A quick and cacophonous conference of the minds commences inside my own. Thor is apparently chosen as the first spokesperson.

"Let's not be hasty, my noble host. Perhaps we can come to a compromise by which we are guaranteed protection while not overruling your domain."

"If we have offended you, we're awfully sorry." At least Steve sounds chastened. "It's not easy being trapped in here with no control of a body."

Natasha hums her assent. "We still want to be able to talk to you, and to each other. We still wish to be friendly."

"Hulk no smash!"

Wow. Looks like lack of autonomy is a problem we are all having. From their point of view, I do get it: It can't be easy never knowing if you'll get to have a real life again.

I nod in agreement. 'I get your points, and my goal isn't to repress you, just to hear myself too, ya know? Talking to me and the group is fine—ordering me around is not. Yelling at each other while I'm trying to fix breakfast is not. I promise I understand, and we're doing everything we can to get y'all out.'

Loki harrumphs, still pouting from my earlier threat. "Fine," he spits out in clipped tones."If everyone is no longer on board, and I'm having annihilation waved in my face, I suppose I can take a backseat to your daily proceedings. I only ask that you take my request for your personal longevity to heart, as my greatness will be needed to guide the realms once we are removed from your person."

"Sure thing, sugah. That right there is reasonable, and I'm prepared to help you guys. On my own terms."

I'm feeling able to meet that demand, as I am now feeling more relaxed, more confident in myself, more- wait- was that the door?

Yes indeed, opening creakily the rest of the way to reveal a tall man in dark clothes.

Typically Gambit has the best poker face around. Apparently that version of himself wasn't available—instead the man looks adorably baffled as he rubs the back of his neck and leans into the doorway to scan the room. "Uh, Rogue? Chere, I hear you talkin' but ain't nobody there."

Here he is. Right on time looking enticingly deceitful as always. Better wet my parched throat before trying to talk to a real person.

"Never seen you chug water like that before, chere. You on a new regimen or something?"

Funny you should ask.

"I was. Not anymore." Just trying to flush some people out of my mind, that's all. "Where you off to, Gambit?"

"Gotta go get a new bed. The ones Xavier put in this place are terrible. Wanna come to the store and test them out with me?" A cheeky grin flashes on his face, despite the knowledge that one wrong move means I my brain will have another prisoner.

"Not unless you wanna get yourself a bundling bag, sugah. One touch and you'll be in my head, and it's a pretty intense crowd in there. No offense but they'd eat you alive."

No loud arguments, just a few quiet noises of assent.

Progress.

"That's how I know you're one tough cookie. Wrangling all that in your mind, it takes a ton of strength."

"Oh, you have no idea."

Gambit tilts his head and assesses me. "Want to get some fresh air? It's a new day, you know."

"Yes! I'll drink to that." MY day. OUR day. No one else's.

"And the professor's back, did you hear? Said he came back with some new ideas for helping you."

Yesssss. Yes! And am I imagining it, or was there a tone of hopefulness in that gravelly voice?

I feel like giving my first real smile in a while. "Well, you don't say. Looks like maybe today's my lucky day after all."

That lazy grin makes my cheeks burn, and man do those dark eyes twinkle.

"Chere, we're gonna make our own luck. Now let's get out of this house."

Fresh air. Calmness inside me. Time spent with someone who isn't afraid of me or trying to control me. And now, hope that we can get the Avengers back where they belong.

I own myself again, and have reason to believe that with Xavier's help it will soon become a permanent condition.

Today will be a good day.

Author's note:

The "personalities" in this story are a reimagining of Rogue's canon background, which itself is a compelling though tragic and problematic tale. I had fun picturing a story lighter in tone with more banter than angst, and real hope for a happier ending. If you enjoyed it, please let me know!