Chapter 2: Gone Fishing (Sam's POV)
..
She woke feeling warm and cosy. When she cracked her eyes open the tent was bright which meant the sun was out and when she risked pulling an arm out of the blankets, she found the air wasn't nearly as cold as it had been when they arrived last night.
She still had her back pressed against the Colonel's so she slid away and onto her back so she could face him. But he moved at the very same moment with a grunt and flopped onto his back too, one arm swinging out, she managed to stop it hitting her in the face just in time, grabbing his forearm firmly and holding it off her.
"Sir,"
At her voice he woke as abruptly as if a bucket of icy water had been dumped on his head. She watched his eyes shift from her grip on his arm, to the very small gap between their bodies, to her face and then back to his arm.
When they slept off-world he normally woke on high alert, but she supposed, waking up next to her in bed was a little less threatening. It amused her to see him looking so befuddled and she felt a smile creep onto her face.
"Carter," he finally muttered, and deciding it was safe to do so - she let go of his arm. He hurriedly pulled his arm down to 'his side' of their make-shift bed. Though, due to the lack of space, it was so close to her body she could feel his fingertips twitch against her hip. "Sorry, I'm not used to – ah – sharing a bed."
"It's alright sir, no harm done. You trained me well, sleep with one eye open and all that." She smiled reassuringly at him, and he rolled over to face her, propping himself up on one elbow.
"Did you sleep okay?" He asked, looking much more himself.
She shifted, mimicking his position, and propped herself up on an elbow. It gave them slightly more space between them… but she was suddenly hyper-aware of how close their faces still were, and the trivial thought came to her that her breath might be bad this early in the morning having not had anything to brush her teeth with the night before.
"Yeah, I slept right through." She answered, chewing her lip nervously.
They lay in silence for a moment, just looking at one another. It wasn't uncomfortable as such, but it was less easy than it had been the night before when they had been exhausted. There was a little chant starting up in the back of her mind reminding her of the regulations.
She broke eye contact first and shoved her side of the blanket down and crawled down to her clothing at the end of their bed. She risked a glance over her shoulder and saw the Colonel staring at her six.
She sent him a furtive look and stayed in that position longer than she needed to, pretending to rummage around for more of her clothing. When she had pulled all her clothing close enough, she heard him shuffling from behind her and knew he was now dressing too. She hid her flushed face from him for as long as possible, she didn't need him to know the effect he had on her, though she suspected he already knew.
They sat side by side on the bed as they put their boots on, close enough that she accidentally bumped elbows with him a few times, but she found it oddly… comforting… it felt so normal. Putting their boots on, preparing to dial home, just like they did when off-world on a mission.
"Right, let's go dial home." He announced when they had both finished tying their laces.
He untied the tent and once he had exited, she quickly straightened the blankets and gave the tent one last look to ensure they had gathered all their things. She paused before leaving, her eyes lingering on their bed from the night before. She wanted to remember this one-off chance she had to sleep in the same bed as her CO. It was all kinds of wrong, she knew… but…
When she stepped out, she found Teal'c was already standing with the Colonel. They exchanged good mornings and then walked in silence. She idly wondered if their wet clothing was chaffing the way hers was. She couldn't think of anything more uncomfortable than walking in damp clothing.
Luckily it was a short walk to the gate and unlike the miserable weather the night before, the sun was shining, and the day was warming fast. Hopefully, they would soon be home and able to have a hot shower and change into dry clothes.
But it seemed that idea had been too good to be true and on her fifth attempt at dialling the gate Colonel O'Neill finally threw up his arms and conceded defeat.
"This is just grand." He said sarcastically. "How long does it take to get the beta gate up and running?"
"Honestly, Sir? It might take a few days." She admitted, also not keen for another cold night sleeping in tight quarters with her commanding officer… under different circumstances, ones where there were no regulations keeping them apart… it would have been nice. Last night had been all kinds of hell as she had fought for self-control. There had been moments where she could do nothing but tremble as she fought to keep her hands to herself.
"Colonel O'Neill, Re'lak says there is a lake nearby where they have fished. Perhaps this will cheer you up." Teal'c told him, his face unreadable.
"Really?" He did in fact perk up at this news, she watched his face light up.
"I guess you get your vacation after all," she said with a chuckle.
"Trust me when I say my cabin is much warmer-" he replied with a snort "-and much roomier." He added as an afterthought. She ducked her head to hide the grin.
..
Teal'c remained behind but she chose to go fishing with Colonel O'Neill. Once they had eaten breakfast she was at a bit of a loss – there was a reason she never took leave. She didn't know what the hell to do with herself when she didn't have work to do.
So, after their meagre breakfast and absolutely no coffee much to both her and the Colonel's disappointment – they headed off to go fishing. She saw the irony.
They spent a half hour walking through the forest to the lake, but on exiting the forest and seeing the glittering lake with snow-capped mountains reflected on its surface – she knew it was well worth the walk in her still damp clothes. She didn't care if they caught zero fish – the view alone was rewarding enough. She found herself simply standing on the trail, dazzled by the view.
"You just going to stand there and gawp?" Colonel O'Neill asked with a laugh, and gently nudged her in the back. The trail had been narrow - not much of a trail at all, and she was blocking the only way out. She laughed too, and moved out into the open, taking a good lungful of the fresh air.
"It's stunning," she breathed, but she didn't think stunning really cut it if she were honest. This view was unforgettable.
There was a very faint path through wildflowers of all colours, and she followed the Colonel as he led the way down to the shore, the fishing rod Re'lak had lent them resting over his shoulder. When they reached the edge of the water, she could now see their own reflections along with the wildflowers and tall forest behind them and she stared into the water, mesmerized.
This time the view seemed to give Colonel O'Neill pause too and she could see in the wavering reflection the look of awe on his face. After a while he seemed to shake himself a little and turned around to take in their surroundings.
"Do you think you could help me roll that log down closer to the water," he dropped the fishing rod and began walking towards a large log. She didn't answer except to follow him and help lift and roll it until it was close enough to the shore that he could fish from it.
"I might just look around sir, unless you need me?" She asked as she watched him rummaging in his pockets for what she assumed was the little bag of bait Teal'c had handed him.
"Yeah, stay in sight we are still on an alien planet." He said it in an off-hand kind of way, not an order as such. It was strange being in this situation with him, given they weren't technically on duty he had relaxed the formalities.
"I know," she touched his shoulder and then as an afterthought added a quick sir and gave his shoulder a squeeze, a silent promise to be safe.
She wandered along the beach, now and again stopping to pick up stones that caught her eye, there were so many different colours mixed in with the granite grey, she found a smooth stone that was a pearly-blue, the colour of an Asguard communication device, and pocketed it.
It was strange how free she felt – she couldn't remember feeling this… relaxed. She wondered idly if she could find this kind of peace on Earth if she took a vacation. She didn't think so. She had tried a few times but had found herself restless and keen to get back to work, even when she had travelled out of Colorado Springs.
When Colonel O'Neill was so far away that he was just a dot she stopped her exploring of the shore and shifted up into the meadow of wildflowers. She picked a rather attractive purple one, it looked like a daisy, but its petals were wider and a more vivid purple than she had ever seen on Earth. Without giving it much thought, she tucked it behind her ear and then made her slow way back to the Colonel
When she returned and plonked herself down onto the log beside him, he looked up in surprise and she realised he had been in the same state of relaxation she had been in – blissfully unaware of his surroundings except for the water and the bobbing bubble float at the end of his line.
He greeted her with a soft hey and she pushed the boundaries a little further by scooting closer to him on the log and looking down the end of the fishing line with him.
"Anything yet?" She asked and he turned to look at her, if he minded her sitting this close, he wasn't showing any signs of it.
"A couple of bites," he shrugged carelessly. "Did you enjoy your walk?"
"It's just gorgeous here," she pulled the stone she had found out of her pocket and without thinking, handed it to him.
He dug the pole of the fishing rod into the ground and turned his body slightly towards her, taking the smooth stone in his hand and rolling it between his fingers.
"Beautiful,"
But he was no longer looking at the stone, he was looking at her. She couldn't tear her eyes from his and when he reached towards her face for one heart stopping moment, she thought he was going to kiss her… but instead he touched the flower behind her ear and seemed to straighten it a little. Her hair was longer now, and it was probably matted since she didn't have a brush, but his fingers ran smoothly through her hair before he took his hand away, a placid look on his face.
"Oh, I forgot I picked that," her hand fluttered up to the flower and then fell back to her lap.
"I like it, suits you." He looked down at the stone in his hand and made to give it back to her.
"No, you can keep it." She placed a hand on his, gently curling his fingers closed over it. He stared at their hands for a moment, then tucked the stone into his vest pocket.
He turned back to his fishing rod, fiddling with the reel a little. She knew very little about fishing so, to break the intimate moment they had just shared, she spent the next little while peppering him with questions. Though she had enjoyed the closeness, she knew they had to be careful to keep their boundaries up, particularly given their current sleeping situation.
Eventually their conversation faded into a comfortable silence, and she shifted down to the ground in front of the log, leaning her back against it, she tilted her face to the sun. She was just feeling as though she might be able to drift off to sleep when there was a jerk from beside her and a splash from the lake. She leapt to her feet at the same time as the Colonel did and he began rapidly reeling in the line.
"Got one!" He exclaimed; his face lit with excitement. She looked briefly at the water but found her eyes returning to his face, she wasn't sure she had ever seen this little-boy excitement before, and it touched something in her very soul.
It was a good-sized fish and he decided to keep it and promising to make them a real meal tonight he turned to rebait the line. She was embarrassed when her stomach let out a loud grumble at the thought of food and he paused what he was doing to look up at her worriedly.
"Shoot, I forgot – we haven't eaten lunch!" He immediately tucked the line against the rod and stood up. "Let's go grab lunch."
She tried to hide her disappointment, but he was right – they really did need to eat and when she looked at her watch, she found it was already mid-afternoon.
"We should probably try dialling home again too." She agreed, though she didn't think there was much of a chance that General Hammond would have the second gate up and running yet.
"It looks like it might rain again tonight," he pointed towards the mountains, and she saw dark foreboding clouds.
"Might be a storm," she let out a frustrated sigh. "Another cold night if we can't dial home then."
..
After a very late lunch she, Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c went back to the gate – yet again the last chevron would not engage so after just two attempts this time, they headed back to the camp.
It looked like she would have to spend another night sharing a bed with Colonel O'Neill and though she tried to find some kind of regret at not being able to return home… she found only the strange calm she had noted earlier at the lake. She knew they would get home eventually, and this was about as close as she got to having a vacation, so she might as well make the most of it. She also couldn't ignore the little thrill of excitement she felt at the thought of sleeping with Colonel O'Neill for another night and her stomach erupted in butterflies. She tried hard to tamp down on her feelings, reminding herself harshly that she was a Major in the airforce, and she was not supposed to enjoy sleeping with her commanding officer.
As dinner wore on, she felt the air around them change and she knew the rain was going to hit. She tilted her face up to the sky and found there were still a few stars visible, but the only light was from their fire so likely the moon was already hidden behind the dark storm clouds.
She turned back to Teal'c who was complementing the Colonel on his fish and stifled a yawn. She figured she was entitled to be tired, after all, they had just saved Earth again.
"Another early night," Colonel O'Neill stated and began gathering up their dinner plates. "Go to bed Major, Teal'c and I can tidy up."
"Oh, no. I'm fine." She protested, getting up too.
"It's not a three-person job," he insisted and stepped in her way when she bent down to collect the pan. "Go to bed, that's an order."
She straightened and rolled her eyes, knowing he couldn't see her in the dark.
"Goodnight Teal'c," she called and did as the boss ordered, she slipped into their tent just as a distant rumble sounded from across the forest.
She heard Colonel O'Neill return but she couldn't see a thing. Last night the fire outside had at least given them a little light inside the tent, but tonight's fire had been smaller and was already dying out.
"You in bed Carter?" He asked, and she heard him tying the tent shut and shuffling around at the end of the bed, presumably undressing.
"Yes sir, as you ordered." She said with a little huff of laughter.
She could feel him blindly making his way across the bed, his hands reaching out first. When he accidentally touched her leg, he apologised and let out a couple of swear words before he shifted his hand and touched her hip.
"Well, this is going well." He said sarcastically.
"Here," she sat up and touched his arm. She helped guide him to the top of the bed, and with her hand on his arm she gently nudged him into place. She praised herself for a job well done when she managed to keep her hand on his arm and not slide it across his naked chest like she so desperately wanted to.
Finally, he was settled under the blankets, and they shuffled into their back-to-back position from the night before. Almost the moment they were comfortable the heavens opened once more and tumultuous rain began hammering the top of their tent.
"That was good timing," he had to speak quite loudly to be heard over the rain.
"Imagine if we were on a planet with no shelter," she tried to raise her voice, but he clearly couldn't hear her, muttered something and then shifted to face her.
"Huh?" He asked and she turned too.
In the dark she couldn't see his face, without thinking she pulled her hand from under the blankets, the chill was immediately noticeable but still, she lifted her hand to where she assumed his face was.
She found him without trouble, her fingertips ran over his jaw, up the side of his face and into his hair. She heard his sharp intake of breath and jerked her hand back realising how inappropriate her behaviour was. She was glad for the dark to hide the heat that had risen to her face, and she tried to move backwards, away from him.
He reached out a hand and found her shoulder and she wondered how in the dark they still knew exactly where each other lay. She knew they were in tune – it was why they fought well together in battle. They had an instinctual understanding of where the other was at all times… but she was surprised that even in this setting, one they had never been in before, they still knew.
"It's okay," he said softly. "I was just…" he trailed off.
"I know," she whispered back and oddly she felt her eyes well with tears. "Sir," she could hear the tears in her voice and his hand, still on her shoulder squeezed gently. "When you were on the Biliskner and you ordered me – ordered us – not to beam up with the explosives and when you said that you wouldn't… return." She sniffed a little and this time he kept steady pressure on her shoulder, and it gave her the courage she needed to continue. "I couldn't, I wouldn't let it happen. I-I think, even if I hadn't found a way to get off the ship, I would have beamed myself up with the ordinance anyway."
I'd rather die than live a life without you in it, Colonel Jack O'Neill… even if it means dying with you.
She hoped she had gotten her message across. She couldn't tell him outright what was going on inside of her head for obvious reasons, but she needed him to know – know that she had let her heart rule her head. She needed him to know she wasn't able to be as unbiased as she had once been when it came to him.
"Yeah," his hand ran down her arm and found her hand and she was surprised when he entwined his fingers with hers, she squeezed his hand and took a shaky breath, willing away her tears.
They lay like that with their hands clasped between them. There was still a large enough gap between them that the position couldn't exactly be called intimate, but she felt closer to him than she had ever felt before.
It's my sidearm, I swear.
She thought of their time in Antarctica, when she thought they were stuck on an ice planet and unable to get home. She had curled against him, ostensibly for warmth but she knew that even if they had been on a desert planet and he had been near death she would have done the same.
It scared her that even all that time ago she had felt the need to be close to this man. It had been years and the need had only grown, it played on her mind regularly and she wondered if she was making the right decision by not telling him outright how she felt. What if she was becoming a liability in the field?
"I have the same problem." He confessed and to her disappointment he disentangled their fingers, but her heart leapt to her throat when his hand instead came to her face and he blindly wiped the tears from her face with his thumb, letting out a pained sigh.
It was typical but a little tragic that they had somehow admitted something momentous just now, without actually saying anything at all. It was less risky – not just for their hearts, but for their careers and she knew it had to be this way.
She took a deep breath when his hand returned to hers and once more, he tangled their fingers together. She had finally stopped crying and simply stared at where his face would be in the dark, willing him to come up with a solution. It worried her that they were both potentially in the very predicament the military had set regulations around fraternization for. They needed a level head in the field, she knew it, he knew it.
"What do we do?" She found her own words eased some of her anxiety, it reminded her that she was not alone in feeling the way she did – and she trusted this man with her life. He would know what to do, he always knew what to do.
"I don't know, just keep going as we are I guess." He didn't sound certain. "I don't know the solution to this one Carter." She felt her heart sink, but she wasn't surprised.
She didn't know what to say so she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. They had unintentionally got themselves into quite the quandary and she wondered how long they could just keep going without one of them slipping up.
TBC.