Thursday evening found Hetty sitting at a restaurant, her mind racing, as she waited for her team to join her. She had received a phone call while at work, her blood running cold as the voice spoke. Deciding the information was not something talked about at work, she requested her team meet her for dinner, where she would fill them in, and maybe work out a plan to bring Marty back to them. Since Monday, she noticed herself doing that more, referring to Mr. Deeks as Marty. Only in her mind, but it was happening all the same.

Kensi arrived first, Nell and Eric shortly behind her. Nate, looking exhausted, was next, Sam and Callen a few minutes later. Their other two guests had yet to arrive, Hetty still not sure of what to make of their arrival. It was one of the few times she had to admit, she had been completely surprised, when Agent's Gibbs and Dinozzio had walked through the door. She had met them in the bullpen, her agents floored as well, Kensi, recovering, had rose, her face set in anger. Thankfully Sam had stepped beside her ready to grab her.

"Agent Dinozzio has something to say," Gibbs glared at his agent, now looking embarrassed and slightly scared. "Dinozzio!" He had barked.

"Agent Blye, Kensi, I am sorry for what my words did to you and Detective Deeks. I..." he swallowed roughly. "I have seen partners become involved before, and it never ended well. I was just..." his voice had trailed off. "I was just trying to help."

"Miss Blye?"

Kensi had nodded, the murderous glare leaving her eyes. "I'm not the only one you need to apologize too," she had said, a hint of anger still there.

"I agree," Gibbs said quickly. "And when we find him, that will be taken care of."

The tension had lessened, and everyone concentrated on finding and bringing Deeks home. Hours later, Lieutenant Bates had appeared, still somewhat sore about being left out of the loop, but willing to let it go, now that he was certain Deeks was safe. Frustration had set in quickly as the search turned up nothing. Mr. Deeks was nowhere to be found. Callen had fumed, slamming his hand on Sam's desk. "He has to be somewhere, the man just couldn't have disappeared."

"Yes, he can Agent Callen." All eyes turned to Bates. "With the exception of Hetty, none of you really understand just how good he is." He had stared at all of them.

"Deeks is the best undercover operative I ever worked with. He's ten times smarter than any of you give him credit for. When he dives in, he inhabits that persona fully. He can talk his way into and out of some of the worst situations you can imagine."

"We can all do that Lieutenant," Sam had spoken. "That's what we do."
"Can you do that for multiple months? Deeks can, and has multiple times. His

longest undercover was three years."

The news stunned the group, faces unable to hide the shock and awe. Gibbs, staring at Hetty, whistled softly. "Damn."

"Deeks won't be found until he's finished what he started. And he's worked with you guys for seven years. He knows your methods, your playbook. All of you saw, and I guess still see, the jokester, the person who doesn't take things seriously. Th whole time, he was studying all of you, learning everything he could." He turned, fully facing Hetty. "If he goes after Brandel, and I agree he is, he won't come in until he's got him. And he'll use every trick he knows to do just that, al the time running ahead of all of us." Bates rubbed his face, tired and worried about his detective. "My guys are looking for him, but I'm not holding out much hope. Maybe we get lucky, but I doubt it."

Now, her team staring at her expectantly, Gibbs and Dinozzio joing them, she took a breath steadying herself. There was so much to cover, and too much that could happen.

"We all know what has happened since Saturday. Since Monday, Mr. Deeks has been missing, we presume to find his father. No trace of either Mr. Deeks or Brandel has been discovered. We are at a standstill, and unfortunately can only wait and hope Mr. Deeks returns to us. Before he does something he and all of us will regret."

***
The beach was mostly empty, the cool breeze from the ocean driving the less

hardy indoors. Deeks walked, his feet taking him...anywhere. He was bone tired, rarely sleeping over the last four days. His mind kept replaying the events. Torturing him with what he witnessed Friday, mixing what he was told Saturday. He was still arguing with himself, his heart warring with his mind. He has pictured what Brandel had said. Tried not too, but the images of...that had invaded him, tearing at his spirit. Those images, the words Kensi had spoken in front of him, the words of Brandel...he felt like he was drowning, slowly going insane. He continued walking, thinking. Wishing he could stop.

***
..."So, when Deeks returns, this had to be handled carefully." Nate was speaking, trying to get everyone on the same page. "He's hurt, physically and emotionally he's been humiliated, and add to that he's angry. I talked to Dr. Coran, then two of the nurses." He stopped, grateful for the glass of wine in front of him. He took a sip, wondering what his words would do. "Apparently he had a visitor before he left Monday. He knows he was on camera, and that all of us were watching."

..."What do I do," Deeks asked the ocean, staring at the waters coming in. He stood, ankle deep in water, his shoes hanging from his fingers. "I'm so confused, I don't know which way to turn." The people he would consider talking to, they were barred from him. He had always been alone, but now, he felt cut off from everyone that anchored him. He

began to walk, his feet splashing through the waves, a nearly broken man, who really didn't know how much more he could take.

***
"So he knows? You're sure?" Callen asked, hoping Nate was wrong.

"Yes, one of the nurses was just about to walk in the room, she overheard the conversation. Before she could move, the door opened. I asked for a description, but it was to general. My guess is someone who works for Pearson, was sent to drive one more dagger in."

Kensi began to slump, her shoulders sagging. The more she heard, the worse everything seems to become. When they found Deeks, how was she ever going to fix this? She wondered briefly...could this be fixed? Would Deeks even listen? Her fear, the one she kept to herself, was that he would never come back. She would have to live, not only with what she had done, but also never being able to at least try to make it right. She couldn't lose him, he was too much a part of her life now.

***
... There were lights ahead, Deeks saw a food truck, his stomach reminding him he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten. Making his way, he patted his pocket, reaching for cash. Maybe he could choke down a taco, just something to bide him over until...what, he didn't know. Absently he noticed his shadow, cast in different directions from the light along the beach. Yeah, I'm right there with you. He almost smiled, lifting his head.

***
...Kensi started, feeling an arm around her shoulders. "We'll find him Kensi," Agent Dinozzio said, squeezing her firmly, a pat on her shoulder. "He did say the two of you had something special. That just doesn't go away. When we find him, then you can work this out."

"He's right Kens," Sam smiled at her. "All of us knew you two would get together eventually. Didn't know it would take seven years though!"

The tension broke as laughter arrived. Kensi smiled, looking at everyone her eyes thanking them for all they had done and prepared to do. She smiled at Dinozzio, still not completely forgiving him, but willing to hold her temper. She just wanted Deeks back, to hold her. To be...hers. The others relaxed, confident that they could work out a plan to get Deeks back. Nate, smiling as the waiter poured another glass of wine, turned to the table. The sight outside the window made his heart skip. "Oh dear God...no!"

***
...As a life long surfer, Marty Deeks had heard the thoughts and theories of nearly every subject under the sun. Most he had dismissed, others he gave consideration to. One older man, had waxed poetically on time. How during moments of extreme pleasure or pain, it could seem too slow, even stop, freezing the moment. Deeks had inwardly

scoffed, just another surfer, talking to talk. Now, he wasn't so sure the man was wrong.

He had glanced to his left, something catching his eye, a movement maybe, or perhaps a feeling. He stopped, staring through the window of the restaurant. The scene inside broke his heart completely. Whatever doubts he had, they vanished, gone like smoke in a sudden breeze. Gone like Kensi.

Hetty sat at the head of the table, the motherly matriarch. To her left, Callen and Sam, Nell and Eric beside them. To her right, Nate sat, agent Gibbs beside him. Kensi next, with Dinozzio beside her. His arm around her shoulder. Everyone was smiling, laughing. He saw Kensi, smiling and staring at Dinozzio, a look of...he thought it was gratitude on her face. They looked like...one big happy family. Secure with each other, glad to be together. Nothing moved outside. The wind was gone, even the ocean had silenced itself. Nothing but the hammering of blood through his veins, the voice of Brandel repeating constantly, 'you lost her', shattering his mind.

"Nate, what's..." Callen had heard Nate's words, the horror evident. He turned, never expecting to see Deeks standing there, staring at...Callens' mind clicked, instantly realizing what this looked like. "Oh, shit," he breathed, the others turning to find out what had both men so shaken. They froze, all eyes on Deeks, watching as his face turned from anger, too painful acceptance.

Kensi quickly shrugged off Dinozzio's arm, standing slowly her eyes locked with Deeks. "It's not what it looks like Deeks." The table heard her, hoping Deeks could. Kensi cried out, watching as Deeks rushed away.

Callen and Sam jumped up, hurrying to the door, Gibbs and Nate on their heels. The group filed out, diners wondering what was happening. Outside, all of them searched, trying to spot Deeks, or a vehicle, something.

"So that bastard was right all along," a voice called from the dark.

"Deeks, this isn't what it looks like, I promise you. Just...come inside, let's talk. We can explain this," Sam said, his eyes searching for any sign.

"Deeks? Please baby. Just come back," Kensi was frantic, Nate holding her back from running through the lot.

"Mr. Deeks," Hetty started, her voice drowned out by an engine firing. A motorcycle flew out, stopping long enough for all of them to see Deeks, tears streaming down his face. "Sorry your plan didn't work, but don't worry, you won't have to deal with me."

He peeled out, the bike shaking, catching the road, a car barely missing him. Kensi screamed, begging him to come back.

They watched the bike tear up the highway. No one could say for certain if the

scream they heard was the engine, or Deeks.