Steve stands in full uniform in a USO ballroom. It's all decorated, beautiful amber light and soft music. I walk out on the dance floor, looking down at my soft simple black 1940s dress. I smile to myself and walk toward Steve. "Steve?" I reached out to him. But just before I touch his arm he disappears.

I look around the empty room. I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe I did it wrong? What.. . No? I'm confused. I step back but nothing happens. I am still in the ballroom. Alone. It's cold.

I drop away, searching for Steve again, letting the world melt. This time Steve is in the hotel room. One of the rooms we were in when we were looking for Bucky. Now he is watching me sleep. I try to sit up, but I can't. I pull myself out of the dream and groan a little at the effort. This feels more like a memory, and as I try and touch Steve I can't pull him out of himself. I can't do anything.

I feel Steve wrap himself around me, kissing me, touching me, but it isn't completely me. I look beautiful, the same but more radiant. Is this how he sees me? Is this his fantasy? Every hair perfectly placed, sexy and beautifully on display.

I feel the world shift and I am flying through the air until a flop on the bed in the cabin, I watch Bucky use his flesh hand to clean me off his face, hot and sexy his tongue tasting me on his lips again, eyes hot and wild with want.

I feel myself buried between soft thighs tasting liquid and wrapping my tongue around a bud of nerves as I struggle to get my slick fingers inside her, tracing around the pucker of her ass with my wet finger only to hear beg for my touch there to. So I do. I let my finger sink into her and I feel everything clench.

I fall out of the memory, unable to leave Steve in the shower. I fall into Steve steeped in steam of another shower, vigorously stroking himself, hard ragged pulls with hot breath as he imagines me next to him, helping him.

Something isn't right. I don't have a lot of control. I try again, slipping into Bucky but cautiously. Like dipping a toe into water I don't want to scare him, just say hello.

I stumble down a hallway. The Helicarrier hallway. There is the Winter Soldier. Not Bucky. He stalks up to me, metal arm swings and tosses me. I fly through a window. I feel myself shatter, bounce and then I am back in the hallway. Then he comes again. Stalking down the hall, arm slamming into me. Smash. Shatter. I try to pull myself back but once again it doesn't work. Things aren't working the way they should.

This time I grab back. I push through the feeling of jello that keeps me from the Winter Soldier and yank out the Dream Bucky. I hold him there firmly as we watch the Winter Soldier walk away. "You aren't him anymore"

Bucky looks down at his hand. Flexing both real arms and stepping back from me. "This isn't me anymore either."

I feel him pull away with a sting like a slap in the face. I let him go. I fall back and away. Tiredness consumes me. I can't fight my way to anything right now. I'll try again later.

I just float for a while, realizing a little late that I can't wake up even though I want to. I breathe slowly, floating in my mind until it turns to water. I feel myself relax as the sun comes out, warming my face and skin, the cool water laps against my exposed skin, as I enjoy the quiet of lake and gentle breeze. Time is weird. It feels like forever.

Steve's voice unexpectedly breaks the quiet of the lake air, "Wow…" I open my eyes to a shirtless Steve, feet dangling in the water at the end of the dock. He has dirty little smile spread across his lips as his eyes rake across my body. I blush a little, I am in my favorite bathing suit here, scanty and comfortable but also very sexy. I twist a little showing off the swell of my hips before I dip my body under to tread and float toward him. I watch his eyes glance down to see my breasts floating in the clear water, cleavage wet and slick all propped up on display. "Double wow."

I smile, blushing slightly and swim over to him. "Hey Steve. I missed you." I reach out to touch one of his finely muscled calves. I feel the desire and tension roll off of him as he sighs, closing his eyes, covering his face with a ragged groan as he lets his legs fall open. Guilt floods off of him in a wave brushing against me and sinking the sun into the clouds.

He opens his eyes looking down at me. "I miss you too." His fingers brush wet hair off my face as he looks at me with such profound sadness.

I smile softly at him, and pull myself up from the water by the dock between his legs. It feels thick all of a sudden, the water hold son to me and it feels like my body weighs a hundred times more than I remember. I stop trying to come all the way out, placing my hands over his muscular thighs in those adorable Captain America swim trunks and anchor myself on the dock behind him, leaning up against him as I stretch up to meet his lips with mine. I don't care if it is just Dream Steve. I want to kiss him.

He feels so real. His kiss is firm and soft, tongue polite against my lips and gentle in my mouth. I want to bury my hand in his hair but my arms start to shake with the effort of keeping me out of the water. As he breaks the kiss I peer down at his beautiful body. I sigh gently watching the smooth planes of his body, tight abs and broad shoulders. "Wow yourself" I say with a smile. I lean back, sinking down into the lake and return to treading water, my slick skin slipping through his fingers. I still hold on to his calves keeping me anchored to him. I lick my lips and look into those beautiful wells of blue sadness. "Did I die? Is that why seeing me is making you sad?"

He looks at me, shaking his head slightly tilting before something churns inside him. "Y/N?" His eyes widen a little processing and before I can stop him he slips off the dock and wraps himself around me. The water splashes up around us as his muscular arms wrap around me, his lips locking with me again, this time in passionate urgency. I feel the desire this time boil around us joined with joy sweep through me as his hands grab me and pull me to him. I wrap around him with a laugh, his strong legs keeping us afloat as he looks into my eyes overwhelming me as his hands squeeze me to him.

I stroked his face."Why are you so happy to see me….and why did you feel so guilty when you thought I was a fantasy?" I ask, burying my fingers into his soft blonde hair.

His touch electric against me and fills me with such a sense of tenderness pouring from him and I cannot help but bask in it. "You lost a lot of blood. You needed surgery and you haven't woken up yet." I nod, giving him a bit of a sad smile.

"This isn't your fault" I tell him, petting his soft face.

The adoration spilling from him feels glorious. I feel him rub my clavicle and I think I remember getting shot there. Normally I would question someone paying me this type of attention. Inside his mind though, steeped with concern, care, and affection I can feel all of Steve's feelings flood into me unguarded. That spot was the last thing I remember being real, him holding me together. I watch him steel his face and pull back his clear sense of relief back in. He was so good at building a wall inside his mind.

"What about you?" I ask, "They shot you too you know."

"I'm fine. Right as rain." Steve remarks smiling wide. "Just waiting for you now."

I shrug "I haven't been able to reach you. Or Bucky. Something felt wrong." I pet his muscular chest before I lean back, arms spread wide as I float across the surface looking at the sky, my legs still wrapped tight around his waist and his hands holding me firm to him. I feel the fear roll through me, he thinks I am gonna float away.

"You are still in the hospital, on several sedatives." I feel the water lick against me and it feels so cold compared to the heat of the sun and the heat of Steve's hands.

"Where are you?" I ask, curious how is here. "I put the dogtags in your hand...and was holding your hand. I think I fell asleep." He says softly.

I rock myself back up, hovering in his arms, and seating myself against his toned stomach as I stroke his chin. "Wonderful. What time is it do you think?"

I don't know. He shakes his head, stubbled chin scratching my hand. "Late probably ...why?"

I close my eyes, a wave of power rippling from me across the water. "Do you think Bucky is asleep?"

Steve blinks, looking back to the dock which is a little ways away now. "You can do that?"

I shrug. "I have no idea, but I also didn't know I could show you a fleet of Hydra agents outside the cabin or connect to you while being tortured" After a slow silence both of us looking at the dock I shrug and the power around me stutters to a stop. "I guess not." I frown. "I really felt like that would work."

I tense all of a sudden, the loud scream of "Cannonball" booming through the air as I glance up in shock just in time to see Bucky swinging toward us on a rope, letting go at the apex and compressing himself into a ball for a huge splash.

Steve laughs and I drop into the water, uncoiling from Steve as he turns to block me from the wave of water, ever the gentlemen.

Bucky surfaces, a wide smile across his face as he flipped his long hair over the top of his head. "Hey Stevie!" He calls, sweeping an arm across the surface of the water to throw a splashing wall of water at his friend, joy leaking into him and it is infectious. "I owe you a dunk jerk!"

Steve looks over, shock and happiness mixing in him as he lets me go. Quickly diverting the other super soldiers' attention away from me. He slaps the surface of the water with a violent thud that claps across the sky and launches at Bucky. The two men are oozing playfulness and history. I don't delve into their minds but I can feel this is a memory for them both, an embodiment of a moment of joy from when they were younger. Bucky wrestles Steve down, pushing the other man's thick shoulders under the water with a whoop of triumph. That's when he sees me.

He lets go of Steve, stunned silence enveloping him. He looks at Steve and then me. "This….you aren't supposed to be a super soldier yet." He says, mind processing slowly. He looks down at his arms, his metal arm turns over before looking back at me. "Dreamgirl...you make me a Steve to play with? or are you both here?"

Steve slaps the water hard, driving a wave up into Bucky's face with a woot of a laugh. "Oh I'm real Buck" He says diving down to grab the other man's leg and yank it up, flipping his friend in the water. I cover my mouth with a sudden laugh. Watching the shock of them exchange another volley before the brunette super soldier called a truce, swimming back to the dock with long strides both a little out of breath.

The brunette grabs the dock, launching himself easily out of the water, dark black swim shorts cling to his hips, water running down his half naked body in rivets. He flips back his hair like a model leaning back on his one tone arm and unyielding metal. A big easy smile on his face. Steve swims over one hand going out to Bucky, allowing his friend to help pull him out of the water. They hug. Bucky breathes him in and I watch a breath of love flow from Steve to Bucky and back again, that purple mist again, strong but delicate at the same time. They lean back and I watch Steve kiss Bucky, slow and gentle, unfiltered for a moment, hand buried in his friend's wet hair. "How is this possible?" asks the former Winter Soldier, and I allow myself to float closer now that it looks like the horseplay is sorted.

Steve smiles wide, glancing down at me. I gently touch Bucky's leg that is still dipped into the water and feel him spike in heat. Steve feels it too, eyes closing at the sudden rush of lust. "You are okay then?" He asks quietly.

Bucky leans forward to me, extending his hand and opening his legs. "Come here Dreamgirl" I look at him with doubt. He hesitates, feeling my fear.

"She's stuck in the water." Steve corrects, both of us feeling the insecurity of respond to my lack of jumping into his arms. "She pulled us both here….She still hasn't woken up."

Bucky's face falls. "It's been two weeks…" His voice is filled with worry.

I watch the blonde look down at me, his blue eyes sad. "19 days." Shit. That is a long time.

Bucky looks at me with devastation. I smile up at him, my eyes sad. "Buck. I need you to tell Steve where you are, 'cause I'm not gonna be able to help him find you anymore."

Steve looks down at me, just as stricken suddenly knowing what I was up to. Giving up.

"I'm sorry." I tell them both "I think we are gonna have to accept I can't wake up." I pull myself up my arms shaking as my hips seem to stretch the surface of the water and I fight up to lean against Bucky's chest. I prop my elbows on the wood, unable to pull myself out any further. Dropping a light kiss on the skin of his thigh as it is the only thing I can reach.

He shifts to meet me and I stretch up, but I am shaking and I can't go any further. He leans down to give me a gentle kiss. Fire spreading through me. I want to pour into him all the joy I have and tell him goodbye. I want them to remember this moment and remember me in a sexy bikini and happy. I don't want to cry. I try to slide back a little, my arms shaking with the effort and I want to lower myself before they give out.

"No" Bucky grabs me by the arms, feet planted on the dock. In a flash he isn't in his swim trunks anymore. He's in full tactical gear. His mind switched completely from fun to fight in an instant. "No" he says again, blue eyes wild, voice hard, firm and cold. "You don't get to give up." He roils with power, rage, desperation, and his will to protect me, arms wrapping around me under my arms. He locks on to me and pulls.

He feels like he is vibrating, the entire world vibrating with him "You don't get to pour all those memories back into me and then disappear." He pulls, and I wrap my arms around his neck feeling the pull of the water unwilling to let me go. He grunts and pulls again. "You don't get to give me back myself and give up." He feels fragile and like steel at the same time. His anger and determination flowing off me in a wave of pain. "You can't do that. You can't give me back Steve and then disappear."

"Bucky." I still whisper a wave of sadness as the water creeps up on me to hold on, a wave of water splashing up to try and take me back down and even without getting water in my mouth I taste salt and pain. I feel his legs strain to pull me, every inch of him feels like agony. The agony is inside my skin and burning through my muscles as Bucky clutches at me.

Steve is suddenly in his Cap suit. Wrapping his arms around Bucky and pulling hard. His face firm as he looks at me over Bucky's shoulder. I feel the pain of Steve drowning in icy water run through me. I feel the pain of Bucky screaming in a chair of torture. Electricity and fire burn through me like it did through Bucky. I pant against the pain that took away his memories now burn through my blood. The water turns to black sludge and wraps itself inside me, gripping my body and tearing at my skin. Suddenly I don't care if it rips me in half. These two hundred year old men never gave up in their long lives and as I feel love pour out of them and into me I cannot simply let myself slide away into darkness.

I open the door inside me and I draw on their power. I feel tears burn hot down my face and I pull against Bucky's strong shoulders. I scream as one knee claws up onto the dock surface and I brace on it, preventing me from sliding back some. Then Steve's hand wraps around my leg just above the back of my knee and the renewed pull is strong, and unforgiving.

Bucky's metal arm grabs the back of my other knee and pulls. Black ooz holds on to me riping at skin and I feel like I want to scream. The dock groans, wood cracking under the pressure of the super soldier's feet and I feel a ripple of power rushes through me.

One of my feet hits the dock, the other is still stuck and Steve's arm wraps around my middle and Bucky's waist readjusts to pull my still stuck food. Now I push with my free foot and the last few inches has little to fight against most of me and two super soldiers. I pant hard and shift to touch the scratchy stubble on the winter soldier's face. "Thank you." I say gently feeling the goo give way as the three of us tumble into nothingness.

I wake with a start. I can't really move, I thrash a little, fighting, but I have a tube down my throat. I can't breathe. I reach up, muscles weak as I try and pull out the tube. Steve is there, holding my hand and gently keeping me still. I hear him call for a doctor, and struggle to stay conscious. I don't think I am going to die this time as I let myself go still. I'm okay. I'm awake. I open my eyes and meet Steve's. I want him to know how thankful I am right now. I don't know if he knows but I dump it into his skin where we connect and it doesn't feel bright to me but I think he gets it. There is a flurry of activity then, getting me extubated and moved and everyone is checking on me. At some point they ask Steve to leave and I watch him stand just outside the door to my room. He's keeping an eye on me, patient and unmoving. Occasionally I let my magic wave out and feel his familiar ping radiate back to me. The day is long, and Steve disappeared at some point. But after the doctors there is Sam who keeps am eye on me and finally Steve returns this time with Bucky.

I wake up and I feel the warmth and worry of Bucky in the room, he has a hair cut and is clean shaven. He looks so different and yet the same. "Hey? " I ask voice cracking. I look down and notice he is in a suit. It fits strangely over his metal arm. "What's the occasion?"

Bucky smiles at me standing closer and touching my face gently. "Hey." He smiles wide. "Just came back from a hearing actually."

"Oh yeah?" I ask, a little excited, not sure if it is mine.

"Thanks to the intelligence gathered at the Hydra base," Steve's voice cuts through my groggyness. "Sargent James Bucky Barnes has been pardoned by the united states government for crimes committed while a prisoner of war under extreme duress."

I smile at him. "Sargent Barnes…" I signed softly. "I will miss the extra hair."

"Oh?" Bucky asks with a sly smile. I don't mean to connect to either of them, but they are touching me and I think there are still some sedatives involved so he feels how much I loved digging my fingers and the scratch of his beard between my thighs. "Oh." He gulps. Feeling the wave of heat from me and I assume a peek at my thoughts. "Our Dreamgirl seems to be in better spirits at least." He smirks to himself, and I hear Steve chuckle, his hand stroking my skin leaning down to meet my lips with a delicate touch.

I got lost for a moment, breathing in the scent of his aftershave and tasting his lips against mine. It's all tender and delicate as he tastes me and I feel overwhelmed with a soft feeling of warmth. Bucky's kisses have always been more on the hungry side and I feel like I am melting under the touch of his soft lips and tender swipe of his tongue. He tries to pull back but I lean up chasing him. His hand slips behind my head supporting me and stroking the side of my face as he deepens the kiss, his tongue gently twisting with mine and I ache with how much I missed him. He breaks away from my lips, hot blue eyes meeting mine forehead still pressing against mine, his lips reluctant to pull to far away. He leaves his forehead touching mine and thumb stroking my cheek. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Dreamgirl."

I lean back, hearing a throat clearing sound as I lay myself flat, panting slightly from the effort of sitting up. "Hey Buck, we got to go. " Sam chirps from the door. He looks from Bucky, to Steve and then me, something strangely doubtful rolling off him. He doesn't say anything but this is the first time I even consider that loving both these men might be seen as strange. This moment, Steve's hand in my hair for comfort and Bucky's taste in my mouth feels so right, and at the cabin it had been so easy. That was a month ago now for them. For me it felt like yesterday.

I close my eyes struggling as doubt rolls through me. I can barely sit up, I'm a shadow of myself, and Steve and Bucky...why would they even need me now when they have each other? He didn't want to kiss me the way I wanted to kiss him did he...? What if I got this wrong? Oh man I am very confused all of a sudden.

"Hey-" Steve's voice interrupts my thoughts. I blink my eyes open looking up at him, struggling a sleepy smile onto my face. "You okay down there? Feels like a thunderstorm brewing"

I smile."Yeah, yeah I am fine. Just. A little confused all of a sudden I guess." Steve squeezes my hand. So does Bucky and they both step away toward Sam. They are both so in sync it feels planned. Steve and Sam are in suits as well. They must all have to go to the deposition, or whatever they are dressed for.

Steve turns back beaming a shy smile at me. "We'll be back" I feel warmth from him wash over me in a gentle wave, calming my doubt for the moment as they walk away. I breathe slowly. Waiting a few long minutes as the feeling of those men flowing over my heart and mind fades. What am I doing? I hit the nurse call button

It takes a minute or two, not long before a smiling woman in scrubs comes into the room. "Hi" I smile. "I was wondering if I can talk to a doctor and maybe find out what medications I'm on...specifically any strong painkillers or sedatives I want to be off of them as soon as possible."

I just focus on one step in front of another as I make my way around the room. I'm doing good honestly. For almost a month without moving my body is recovering quickly they say, but it isn't enough for me. I want to be outta my head and out of this room. It's bad enough I felt physically inadequate compared to super soldiers in my life, now, when they didn't need me anymore I felt like a complete invalid. The phone rang on my bedside table. I sighed to myself walking a little faster to grab the phone before the person on the other side gave up.

"Hey Dreamgirl. Hope I didn't wake you." Bucky. I feel my heart pound at the sound of his voice in my ear. Part of me wishes he was here.

"No, No. I was walking." I answer a little smile in my voice just from the infectious nature of hearing me. God, am I a 16 year old? "How was the thing?" I ask aiming at least a little for cool.

"Good" He says with a sigh and a pause.

"That doesn't sound good." I add a little question in my voice as I sit back on the bed.
I feel his hesitation. "They want me and Steve back in Washington for a few days."

"Oh." I respond, gently letting myself sink onto the bed. "Cool. Yeah. So...When you get back in town you think you might stop by again?"

He pauses for a second. "Yeah. That's the plan Dreamgirl. Sam said he can stop by to check on you while we are out, and Wanda was gonna stop by and see how you are feeling. Steve is worried they are gonna keep us a little longer for some debriefings, since he avoided leaving you the past few weeks." I didn't realise Steve had been here the whole time. I feel a little better about that.

"Well, it's not like there is anything to do around here anyways. I'm just lifting cans of beans and walking ten steps at a time" I joke a little. He laughs softly.

"Alright. Our flight is in a bit, We'll call you later okay?" Bucky adds, voice a little in a rush.

"Yeah. Okay." I hang up the phone, and just like that they are gone. They are off together somewhere and I am here, unable to move. I feel a little lost and alone. I look around the hospital room, feeling a little dejected as I climb back into bed. Despite sleeping for weeks, I honestly feel a little tired. I look at Bucky's dogtags on the nightstand. I want to hold them. I want to visit him tonight but I feel like that might be a violation again. Steve stayed. Does that mean Bucky didn't? Bucky did kiss me though...

God this is stupid. I need to focus on recovering. I close my eyes and pull all the doors in my mind shut tight. I just need to sleep. So I do. I wake up sometime later, Sam's hand on my shoulder. "Hey sleeping beauty. You gotta eat too, you know." I wake up groggily. Sitting up in the bed, stretching.

Sam smiles at me, offering me the tray of food. I groan a little pulling myself up. "You know you can lean up the bed right?" He asks.

"Yeah." I say with a groan. Breathing in and then out, stabilizing my weak muscles. "But I gotta get stronger somehow."

Sam hits the lift button, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "No need to be a Hero there Y/N, You'll get better soon enough."

I nod, brushing my fingers through my hair and press against my eyes. "I've already been asleep for three weeks. I don't know what I missed."

Sam nods. Opening my food tray and silverware, sliding it closer to me with insistence. "You missed a lot of people worried about you." I peek just a little around the closed door of my mind and I feel the concern coming off him, but also the waves of relief.

I nod and pick up the fork, taking a bite so Sam feels better as he watches me. I can feel his concern that I've lost weight and I take another hearty bite for him. He laughs softly sinking into the chair next to my bed. "Steve and Bucky have been a little guarded about what happened." Sam says, gentle words as he watches me chew. "But I... when I found Steve you were passed out in his arms bleeding, and real beat up" I slow down my chewing and I go ahead and crack open that door in my mind open so I can feel him when he speaks. He is so nervous for the conversation. His deep brown eyes meet mine with sincerity and regret. "I am truely sorry I got you involved in this."

"Sam" I whisper, the guilt rolling through him in deep waves that I catch in my mind with gentle soothing. I reach out and let my sincerity flow into him. "I have no regrets." He looks at my hand and breathes hard, stuttering at the experience of my feelings flowing into him. I hadn't done this outright to him before, and it is a little startling at first. I guess running around openly using my powers got me a little more used to them. "I am a big girl and I knew how much trouble I was getting myself in the moment I found the Winter Soldier. Meaning before I told you I could see him."

I let my calm pour into him before leaning back to start eating again. "...and Sam. This wasn't your fault. Or mine. Or Bucky. Or Steves." I took another bite chewing evenly. "A Hydra agent shot me. A Hydra agent wanted to kill me." I took a sip of water. Leaning back to rest my muscles. "You didn't do anything to be sorry about. And if you hadn't I wouldn't have gotten to spend the time I did … I learned more about my powers then I ever have being an analyst."

Sam leans back. I know he feels a little better. Especially seeing me alert. He picks at his pant leg as he crosses his legs into his lap. "We should do a full debrief, you probably have some insight we couldn't possibly have."

"Maybe...but just between me and you Sam, there are things I don't tell anyone. Things I see in peoples heads that I just don't … tell other people that I know." He looks at me a little strangely. I shrug. "You still feel guilty about a time when you were 8 and you played to rough with your sister, Sarah. You pulled her hair but you didn't really realise the trauma to her scalp would give her a bald spot for weeks. You felt terrible."

He looks at me with wide eyes. "What?! How did you know that"

"Just now" I told him, "you felt so guilty and you were apologizing... like you did then, and you think of me like a sister you want to protect. You feel possessive of me like an object. Connected. So you sent me that feeling, like sincerity and a wave of guilt, and unintended consequences. It was like...like a screaming beacon in the air. Not something I can ignore, but something I can let wash through me and pretend not to know."

Sam looks shocked. "That...That wasn't in the shield file on your powers"

"Sam." I shrug, "I don't tell people that part." I finish my food and move to stand, grabbing my IV for another walk around the room. I lean against the bed as I grab a pair of leggings and pull them on under my hospital gown. Sam offers to help but I wave him off. "I'm just saying I might not answer everything you want to know in an official debrief. Some stuff is personal."

He nods leaning back. Watching me go on my small walkabout. "You sure you should be walking this soon?" He asks

"Yes." I tell him, "Doctors orders." He nods taking my word but it makes him uncomfortable. There is that protectiveness again.

"So Steve asked us to scan you." Sam said, leaning back.

I stop, taking a short rest against the window sill and hiding it in my question. "What do you mean?"

Sam adjusted. "You said you were missing three weeks. And You're right. I completely forgot that everything that has happened, you can't know." That isn't entirely true. I could dreamwalk into him or Steve or Bucky to find out but I don't want to, not without permission and not while instill have this IV full of god knows what. Still even then it is not something I would have fallen on to as a default before this expedition. "Steve gave you to me to evacuate."

"Oh my god." I remember suddenly. "He was shot. What happened with Steve?" Sam smiles at my sudden memory and the spirit it gave me to renew my walk.

"He was fine. He healed a lot faster than you. He's a super soldier." Sam smirks and resumes his thought. "You were real bad and I flew you directly outta there. Took you to the nearest trauma center and they did emergency surgery. You needed another surgery too we helivaced you out. You were in the ICU for four days. Steve got some stitches and they asked him to stay for observation. He told them he wasn't leaving your side, but they were welcome to watch." I laugh softly, feeling my heart swell a little. He didn't mention Bucky. Maybe Bucky just didn't want to be there. That felt weird to me, but he would have mentioned it wouldn't he?

"Bucky was captured too." I added. "Was he and the rest of the team okay?"

Sam nods. "Avengers were fine, Bucky had nothing but a few scrapes and bruises. He wouldn't come anywhere near the hospital for a over a week though. Not till Tony took his whole arm apart and put it back together."

I blink going for another lap so Sam continues his story. "Maybe he just didn't want to come?" I offered with a shrug.

Sam laughed, "Nah, I don't know what you did but you got those super soldier wrapped around your little finger when you ain't even conscious" I blush hard at that, turning for another lap around the room. "He was convinced there was a tracker in his arm, and wouldn't leave Stark's lab till he took his arm apart and put it back together- twice."

Wow. I take another break on the window. Feeling weaker this time. "Did they find anything?" I ask.

"Nah," Sam stands walking over to me. "You've done a bunch of laps, why don't you rest on the bed for a bit for story time?"

I nod and let him lead my back. I let him feel my thanks through the touch and crawled back into bed, leaving my leggings on. He smiles a little. "That feels real weird." He comments, flexing his hands. "But not unpleasant."

I smile leaning back. "I can stop if you want." I say gently. "I am working on controlling it. I won't lie, this" I flick the IV pole, "makes it a lot harder to keep inside."

Sam feels doubtful. "Is that the only reason you told me? Thought it might leak out?"

I smile, shaking my head. "No Sam. You're my friend and I have been afraid to tell people for too long." I readjust, taking a sip of water and leaning back. "So I was in the ICU for 4 days. Steve stayed with me."

Sam laughs, smiling a little and getting back on track. "Yeah, so Steve said the Hydra Captain kept finding you, was able to route you out no matter where you went, must have been tracking you. He got a scan himself and there was nothing, Bucky swore up and down it must be his arm and Tony enjoyed every moment of taking apart his arm trying to figure it out."

I shake my head and shift a little uncomfortable. "I wonder what that felt like for Bucky…" I muse.

"What?" Sam asks head tilting.

"His arm isn't like your wings. The prosthetic is hooked into his residual limb. He can feel through it, although not...not the way we think of it." I struggle for words but shake my head. "Nevermind, it was just a thought. Did they find anything?"

"Nope." Sam responds, seeming to restructure his thoughts to the idea of Bucky sitting through being pulled apart, but he sets that aside for a bit. "Steve was clean, Bucky was clear biologically and Stark couldn't find anything in the arm. We had to wait till you were out of the ICU before the docs felt good about scanning you, but you were clear too. Bucky tore up the stuff you carried, didn't find anything. We don't know how they found you."

"I am scared that it was me." I answer, and I know Sam can feel guilt and sadness leak out of me.

Sam leans forward. "What do you mean?"

"We found Bucky, but Hydra was close by." I shift rubbing my face and trying to remember. "Their captain caught me for a short amount of time. He held a gun to my head, and I did something...something that in hidesight I think was stupid. I think I made a connection with him when I used my powers. I was sedated and unable to control myself. I think I tied him to me." I lay back sighing "I didn't know I did it."

Sam shakes his head. "Why do you think you did?"

I look down and gently close the door in my mind, I can see Sam tense when he can't feel me anymore before I continue. "He's the one… " I swallow and try again "He tortured me in the Hydra compound. He seemed to be able to feel me when he did. He enjoyed it. I was...I was connected to him in a way I am not normally, and I didn't want to be."

"You feel him now?" I smile at the protective tone to Sam's voice, my friend. I shake my head no. "Good." He responds. "They debriefed Bucky, they went through files that Steve got from the base, and some of his intel on Hydra. I went on three opps, with agents and Avenger rounding up those scumbags while Bucky and Steve both sat here waiting for you."

I blush a little, smiling and wrapping my arms around one of my pillows. I want to hold them, and this isn't the same, but it will have to be. "Where are they now?" I ask again. They told me, but I kinda want to know from Sam's point of view.

"DC. Political shit really. They aren't gonna just pardon the Winter Soldier, they are gonna show him off, parade him and Steve around as military heros and hold up all those Hydra goons we bagged as trophies." Sam stands, fussing with what is left of my food, opening a pudding cup and shoving a spoon in it before handing it to me.

Ugh. I don't want to eat, but I should. I take it and snack on the sweet treat. Mostly because the wave of satisfaction coming off my friend feels pretty good. "Best friends, super soldiers, still taking down the bad guys 100 years later?"

Sam nods "Exactly. Plus- We got a second super soldier. Nah na na na na."

I laugh softly, my ribs screaming a little when I do. "Oh" I switch to breathing shallowly again.

Sam looks a little worried. "Still little early for those broken ribs Y/n, I'll try and keep my glowing personality in check."

"Impossible." I whisper, not really realising until I feel his hand on my shoulder that I am falling asleep. "Wait…" I breath slowly trying to sit up a little. "Don't go. What else?"

Sam pulls the food tray away, setting it to the side the my half finished pudding cup as he throws the blanket over me. "That's about it. We've just been waiting for you to wake up."

"Then why...now that I am awake, did they jet so fast?" I ask, trying very hard not to let the ache in my chest leak out, I settle on the being tired.

Sam tucks me in. "They'll be back. Get some sleep."

I nod, waiting for him to walk out of the room before I roll over tiredly, grabbing the dogtags off the bedside table and draping them around my neck. I tuck them in to my shirt so the familiar feeling of Bucky settles over my sternum and warms me into my heart. I feel a little better from what Sam told me, but there are things he can't tell me about Steve and Bucky. I let myself fall asleep, drifting without trying to reach either of my super soldiers. I know it isnt likely. They are, after all, awake in the middle of the day.

The phone rings screaming through my sleeping mind like screeching thunder. I jump gulping in air as I jerk my ribs painfully and everything in me screams. The sound stops. I hear Wanda's voice, quiet and firm. I open my eyes, sitting up and blinking against the dark room. "You woke her up… No. No. She needs sleep and rest."

"I'm awake. Gimme the phone." The girl ignores me, and I fall back asleep quickly.

When I wake up again Wanda is still there, the room is quiet. "Hey" I greet.

"Good morning Sunshine." She answers her Sokovian accent gentle and sweet sounding. "How are you feeling?"

I smile gently. "Good." I pull myself up noticing the IV is gone. "Oh hey. No more IV?"

Wanda nodded. "I thought you might prefer that. The nurse said you might be uncomfortable, but I think you would prefer it as it messes with you magic yes?"

I nod. "Yes. It makes it harder to reach out, but also harder to control." I sit up, wow. Yeah, my body does hurt a lot more without the drugs. I feel like I am being sliced into pieces, but maybe I can dreamwalk now.

"The nurse said that they are thinking about discharging you soon, but you will need to have someone to take care of you or they will need to transfer you to a rehabilitation clinic." Wanda says softly. "I think they thought I was your sister." She adds with a smile.

I laugh gently. "I don't…" I don't know how to say this without sounding absolutely pathetic. "I live alone." I look around the room desperate to change the subject. "Where is Sam?"

"He needed to go to Avengers tower, a mission going after some more Hydra agents, Steve will be joining them." Wanda adds. She sits back in the chair, relaxed as she curls her legs up around her. I feel her gentle boredom radiate off her.

"Steve and Sam both asked me to come chat with you about your powers." Wanda says shrugging. "They seem to think that I can offer some insight, since affecting the mind is in my skill set."

I smile. "I don't think our power operate anything alike…"

She rolls her eyes. "That is what I told them." Her accent seems even thicker in her exasperation. "I assumed visiting you would not do any harm however."

"No, it's nice to see you." I answer, smiling gently. I try to hide my pain as I sit up. "How is teaching Vision "how to human" going?"

She laughs wide and open, and we gossip. It's nice to have some entertainment that isn't about me. The distraction is welcome, even if it doesn't help me understand my abilities any. We do talk about it eventually, comparing notes, but as we suspect, they feel different, trigger differently, and we aren't much help to each other. Much like last time. It doesn't matter though. It is nice to have company, but I am also keenly aware of the strangeness of this. Wanda seems to imply I can come to stay at the Avengers complex if I want. She and Vision had been welcome, what is another wayward soul.

"I have an apartment" I tell her. "And I kinda miss home" She nods with understanding, but I feel a little disappointment from her. I think she likes the idea of a friend. "I hope we can visit though?" That seems to brighten her up and it makes me happy that although she has been asked to babysit me she enjoys the assignment. I am still a little pulled down by something absent inside me. I am not sad to get to spend time with the girl, or with Sam, but there is a strange void to me, with Steve and Bucky both missing. It's like I went from having them right there are real to just a memory of an experience. I doubt almost that it was even real. Does Steve just go back to being Captain America and maybe he'll remember my name when my voice is in his ear?

I feel weird that I can't feel them.