Finally, I'm packing up to head home. There are a few bits of clothes I am stuffing into a small plastic bag when Bucky walks in. He looks good, much more comfortable than the last time I saw him. He's in jeans and a few layers of soft cotton shirts, a leather jacket covering his arms. His hair still short-cropped, is a little tousled, and he's let some stubble grow across his chin. He still wears a single black glove over his silver hand. I feel a wave of warmth from him as he comes into the room. It stops a little short when he sees Sam. "Hey," He greets both of us.
Sam nods, "Hey, man." Bucky and Sam greet each other warmly, but also in that jovial way Sam has that means he is gonna rag on you any moment. I smile, feeling the wave of friendly affection from both of them. I guess they have been on a few missions together with Steve so far, and it warms my heart a little. The two of them shift a little uncomfortably.
"Hey," Bucky responds, shifting against the wall as he watches me. "Where are you going?" He asks, a little guarded as he stares at me. I try to reach out to feel him, but he feels a little bit like a smooth wall despite the dogtags. I don't try harder, I think he is just a little guarded at the moment, but also as I slip a bottle of medications into my bag I am reminded I am not in control again yet.
Sam smiles and answers for me. "She's getting discharged today."
I nod. "I can't wait to get home and take a real shower." I laugh softly, running my fingers through my greasy hair. "I've still got papers to sign and all sorts of stuff. Then Sam can take me home."
Bucky nods up, jutting his chin and glancing at Sam. "I can take her."
Sam smiles a little, looking from me to Bucky. "Y/N? You want me to hang out?" There feels like a swirl of competing protectiveness in the room. God, boys, I'm not glass.
"I'm good, Sam. Bucky doesn't bite." I watch the super soldier wince slightly. As Sam laughs. I feel a memory cycle through his mind. The Winter Soldier first met Sam Wilson when he ripped a steering wheel out of his hand in a high-speed motorway chase. He also tore the wings off Sam's suit.
"Yeah. This one is nothing but a kitten," Sam says with a hearty smirk, grabbing his jacket and throwing it on.
"He's like a cat when they are little," I add, "just gets a little teethy when he's playful" I follow up with a smile, and I watch Bucky shake his and bite his cheek at the ribbing. He gets just a bit red with embarrassment, but neither of them moves.
"Really, I'm fine, guys," I reassure them. "I can even call a car to get home; I just want to take a shower and go to bed somewhere comfortable."
Bucky sifts a little. "I'd like to take you home." He says I feel a wave of protectiveness and possessiveness slide off him and settle around me. It feels so nice to feel him again.
"Sure," I answer. "If that is what you want. I'd enjoy the company."
Sam smiles. "Alright, If you've got an escort, I'll head out then; I got someplace I can be."
I nod. "It was nice seeing you, Sam," I say with a smile, leaning in to hug me goodbye. I feel a wave of something possessive from somewhere when Sam touches me, but it feels a little muted.
"Let me know when you're settled in." Sam comments, "If you need some company. I'm happy to bring over a pizza. We can watch a movie or something." I nod and smile at him.
"I'll text you. As soon as I get a new phone." I say with a chuckle. He nods and lets his hand land on Bucky's shoulder as he passes. "See ya, Buck," he says with a quick smile.
Bucky is quiet, staring at me in silence as I pack. "How was DC?" I ask, breaking the thick quiet.
The soldier grunts softly. "Fine. How's pizza with Sam?" I look up, blinking a little at the swirl of green jealousy I feel tighten around the super soldier for just a glimpse before he seems like a solid wall again.
"Are you jealous?" I ask, finishing putting things in the bag and sitting down to put on my shoes.
He shrugs, rolling his shoulders. "No." observing my hands, and I can feel the coiled tension in him.
"Sam's been my friend for a few years," I tell him, tucking my feet into my sneakers, flexing at the weird feeling after not wearing shoes for what feels like a month. "He introduced me to Steve."
That seems to relax him a little. "So Pizza is just …"
"Pizza." I finished for him. Standing up he walks closer to me, picking up my bag. "You aren't jealous, though?"
"No." He answers. Shaking his head with barely concealed emotion, holding back a smile. I could tell he was lying even if I couldn't feel him; this time, he's being adorably obvious.
"Ah. Right. Of course." I nod, smirking a little to myself. He slides up to me, wrapping his arms around me from behind and hiding his face in my neck. I feel overwhelmed by his heat and the smell of him. "I smell…bad," I whisper self continuously.
"I don't care." He answers, and I feel a crack in the wall around his heart washes over me with heat and affection. His hands spread over my body gently as he traces my neck with his nose. "I missed you." I feel my knees want to buckle for him, I lean back against him with closed eyes, overwhelmed by the heat of him behind me and the smell of leather and vanilla. His stubble has grown a little tickling my neck and the feel of it makes my heartbeat tick up just a tad.
"Bucky," I breathe his name, not sure if I am asking him to stop so I can breathe or never let me go.
"Dreamgirl," His voice sounds sad, "I still can't feel you anymore." He touches the dogtags, a hiccup of heat flowing into me when he does. "Even though you are wearing these. Are you...shutting me out for some reason?"
I breathe out and try and clear my head. "I am struggling not to just spill out everywhere," I whisper. "I am still taking some sedatives. If I let you feel me, I don't know if I can prevent everyone in this hospital from having sexual fantasies about you tearing off their clothes."
He laughs softly, as he turns me in his arms. "Okay," he whispers, looking into my eyes and smiling softly. He seems unsatisfied with my answer. His bright eyes sparkle staring into mine, his smirk soft and his look intense.
"I can't really feel you either though." I gently touch his chest, enjoying the feel of warm muscle wrapped in soft cotton and supple leather. "It's like there is a bit of a wall?"
He shrugs then, and the ice of the wall hits me again. "I don't know..I'm not doing anything I know of"
I shift a little tense. "Where is Steve? He feels...little cotton. I can't feel him either"
That seems to confuse him significantly. "He's flying in, the congress kept him another day," Bucky pulled his phone out of his pocket. "He said he tried to call you, when he talked to you last night said you seemed not to remember some things, had him concerned."
I shake my head. "I...I didn't...I haven't talked to Steve."
Bucky furrows his brow and dials. The phone call goes straight to voicemail, but for just a second, I am soothed by the sound of Steve's voice on the answering machine. "He's on a plane. Maybe the height makes a difference? I'm sure you'll feel him again when he lands." Bucky grabs my bag for me. "Let's get you home then, it's been a busy few days" He drops a soft touch of his lips on mine, and I feel his warmth around me block the rest of the world out for just a second on contact.
He steps back suddenly, the cold of the room descending on me in a rush. I hear the nurse's cheery voice break through the air, showing me why Bucky stepped away. Because someone was coming. I clear my throat. "I'm sorry, what was that you just said?" I ask her to repeat herself.
"I said, It looks like we're all set. Let's just get you checked out then." She is pleasant, a helpful and cheery disposition as she locks the wheelchair into place
I smile and nod. "Yes. Sounds good. I can't wait to get home."
Bucky swipes a pudding cup off the tray table and adds it to my bag. That's a good idea. I like the pudding here a lot.
Bucky drives, quiet through traffic, but I am pretty sure this is Steve's car, I give him directions to my apartment, and Bucky insists on carrying my bag up. I unlock the door and groan happily at the smell of home despite the stale air. Bucky looks around, a soft smile on his face as he takes in my decor. "This is where you live, Dreamgirl?"
I nod, an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort sliding over me as I let the walls around my mind slide down a little. There is a sharp, familiar knock at the door, and I feel the deep tension from the super-soldier roll over him. There is a knife in his hand that I have no idea where it came from, flipping through the air to his other hand as tension rolls into his shoulders and hunches him down in an instant. "Woah woah, calm down soldier." I tell him walking stiffly to the door. "It's my neighbor."
Friendly, loud, and boisterous the woman begins talking immediately. "Y/N! Oh my god. Are you okay!? There was a blonde man here, very big. Looked like Captain America, getting some clothes, said you were in the hospital." I smile, nodding politely. "He's very handsome. Are you dating?" Bucky on the other hand is a little less patient. He appears behind me, leaning on the door frame, and I can feel his intimidating stare. "Oh! Oh. Oh..."
"Thanks for stopping by. We need to go now." His smile is charming if a little pained.
"Oh," she hesitates, "let me get Alpine for you. He misses you terribly."
I nod with a smile. "Thank you. I miss him too."
Bucky tenses a little "Alpine?"
"He's the love of my life." I tease, watching the soldier's eyebrows twitch up. I laugh softly as I watch his skeptical look when my neighbor reappears with a ball of white fluff and a small bag. I smile gathering the animal into my arms. "Thank you so much for looking after him. I really do need to rest though. I will catch up with you later."
She nods with a smile. "Of course, it is so good to see you home Y/N, I was getting mighty worried." Her sincerity feels so sweet I can't help but feel loved and cared for, the soft purr against my chest helps too.
"Thank you." I answer and wait till she turns before I let Bucky shut the door. Alpine purrs loudly, the brushes his soft white face against my chin in a tender headbutt, his bright blue eyes close happily and nuzzling against me. Bucky's flesh hand comes up to reach out to the white furry cat in my arms. Alpine sniffs cautiously before rubbing his face against the super soldier, purring happily.
"He's a friendly little guy," Bucky says, and I smile gently. Watching the cat claim Bucky's fingertips with his scent.
"Not really," I answer back as I start scratching behind his pristine ears. "But he liked Steve instantly as well." I set down the purring mass, letting him rub against Bucky's legs happily.
I watch the super soldier cautiously melt at the idol attention of the cat and love the calm gentleness I feel rolling off him. "Steve was allergic as a kid..."
I go to the kitchen, grab the clean water and food bowl for Alpine, and fill them both as I set them on the floor. "He seemed fine last time he was here."
Bucky nods, looking around at my apartment "yeah, I guess the serum changed that" his hot eyes catch and follow me as I come around the kitchen into the main room. "You look tired."
"Ugh," I nod, letting out a long deep breath. "I am, and dirty, I should shower."
He nods. Hesitating. I feel a little of his tension. He's still so guarded, and I want to poke him. I want to use my powers to feel what has him so off-balance. Why is he possessive in front of Sam and the neighbor but jumps away from me when the nurse is there. "Wanna help me?" I ask him a sly smile warming my gut.
Bucky's eyes light up with mischief. "I shouldn't. You're tired."
I shrug. "Not too tired to invite you...but if you don't wanna come..." I shrug and walk past him. He follows me, through the bedroom, into the bathroom. He watches me take off my clothes for a moment before leans into the shower turning on the water to heat up. He wordlessly removes his jacket and his glove, tossing them on the counter. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, texting with one hand before tossing the phone on the counter. He takes off his shirts next, toeing off his socks. His boots must be by the front door. I am entranced looking at him, I lean forward, meeting his hot lips in a gentle kiss finally letting the tight reins on my mind loosen just a bit. I feel my emotions rush like a flood into him. I let him feel my desire and my joy. I gently take his hands and put them on my hips.
He groans softly, "There you are Dreamgirl," he whispers, picking me up easily and setting me on the counter. He closes his eyes for a moment, and I feel relief from him. Utter true relief on the surface of his skin. I wonder for a moment how worried he must have been when he couldn't feel me.
He kisses me again, devouring my breath and pulling off my clothes. I feel him loosen a little. Less guarded against my lips kissing me. I feel gross and dirty and sticky, but also I feel him not caring, just wanting to see me, touch me, know that I am real and alive. I feel my heartache in my chest at his worry. His touch is delicate and caring as he peels me until I am naked and checks the water. He shucks off his pants and leads me under the spray of hot water.
God, he feels so good. "Bucky," I breathe his name, relaxing as he touches my skin, soap and slick hands washing away the hospital and what feels like the remainder of Hydra even though that was a month ago and should be long gone. I feel stronger as my mind is attached to his. He still lingers on my closing wounds and mottled skin, soft fingers tracing.
"Are you sure your okay?" He asks softly against my lips, warm wide hands supporting me. I nod in response with a soft moan and take a big deep breath. My ribs feel fine.
He closes his eyes, leaning against me, and I feel him reveling in the feel of me. He likes it. I let myself extend into him, wrapping around him and sinking into him. I feel so strong when I do, but no matter how much I pull, it feels like the emotions are only on top of his skin. "At the cabin...you knew things I knew." I nod, and he continues, "at the diner, you threw a knife as I would, and I felt you ...borrow from me." Bucky gently traces my skin.
"Yes...did it hurt.?" I ask, wondering why he is mentioning it now.
"No," he shakes his head. "I just wonder what other things you can borrow..."
He kisses me gently. "Right now, I feel like you are soaking me up, and you aren't shaking anymore"
Hmm. He has a point. "Yeah, I don't feel as tired, I feel like things don't quite hurt as much."
He nods gently, moving on to washing my hair as he smirks down at me. "Maybe it is just the naked time, it does heal all wounds."
I smile and laugh softly letting the water wash over me, struggling to stay present. "Just kiss me" He moves in, lips touching mine delicately. He washes me and kisses me. It is all tender, and gentle, hands moving utilitarian across my skin, vigorously slipping across my skin. It feels nice, but there is no heat in it. After a few minutes, I bit my lip hesitantly. He feels the doubt roll off me.
"What's wrong?" He asks, gentle as he brushes my hair back.
I laugh softly. "Nothing...I was just...hoping to spark a little more desire in you"
Bucky chuckles softly. "I have plenty of desire for you Dreamgirl, I just dont think this is the time to wear you out."
I nod, doubt still rolling off me, "Sure." I don't know why it still feels so deeply like he doesn't want me. He looks into my hurt eyes and shakes his head, biting his bottom lip. It feels like an eternity before he makes a decision.
He closes his eyes taking a deep breath and I feel the damn in his mind break. The wall he was holding disappears and desire rolls through me like a tidal wave. I feel his hand slide down my shoulder, instead of utilitarian cleaning he wraps his flesh hand around the swell in my breast, and he squeezes. I feel his arousal rocket through me, straight between my legs. He leans down the scrape of his stubble on my neck as he scrapes his lips and nips softly with his teeth. I feel my heartbeat speed up and lean back. Overwhelmed and struggling for air. "Oh," my ribs burn in pain as I pant hard and sudden, and my body trembles. Bucky catches me gently, and I feel him pick me up, taking all of my weight against him, his lips devouring me again.
"Is that better?" He asks, and I nod, my legs slightly wrapped around him, leaning against the shower wall, I trust him implicitly with my weight.
I roll my hips, lighting running straight between my legs with the feel of him hot and hard against me. "I want to feel you...I miss you."
Bucky closes his eyes. "God, Dreamgirl, you are killing me." He kisses my neck gently. "I don't want to hurt you."
I wrap my arms around him. "You won't," I promise and reach between us. I wrap my fingers around his heat and feel him pump his hips into my hand, a deep groan at my tight grip as he adjusts me, letting me line him up into me. He missed me so much. I feel a wash of his fear. He was afraid I would die. He was afraid he would lose me. He was afraid that because he didn't dream of me after I woke up that I didn't want him. I push my hips forward, and I feel him stretch me, sinking deep into my wet heat with a slow push and a strangled grunt.
"Oh Fuck, you're so wet." He whispers, and I moan deliciously. "You feel so good Dreamgirl." I struggle to keep my mind in the present. The last time we were in the shower it was hot and passionate, hard and fast, and Steve was there. Now he moves so slowly, delicate even. It feels good. So good, but I can't stop the intrusive thoughts. I don't understand the hesitancy and I can't really feel him correctly. What if this is the last chance I ever get? We hadn't talked about what this will be, and now I am head over heels in love with them both, and when we fell into this, and it felt right, but that was as far as anything got. Run. Fight. Fuck. Now what?
I shake myself into the present as he settles inside me and I memorize his touch, the feel of his hands, the stretch of him inside me. Every detail of this moment I want to hold on to. I look down at his beautiful face, bright blue eyes, hot and hungry for me. I want to remember what he looks like when he wants me, his strong jaw slack with pleasure, his soft lips and struggling for air, hands gripping my soft flesh. I want to remember the little grunts and hot breaths. He is going slow and it is killing him, holding back, gentle thrusts building tension inside me, steady and thick. He lowers his head, kissing my breasts and struggling to keep a steady pace, relentless and careful. "Fuck" he whispers nibbling on my neck again the rumble of his desperate growls against me.
His hands grip my thighs massaging my skin and holding me up as I feel his arousal fill me up. I breathe hard, ribs forgotten, bruises lost in the back of my mind, his steady pace speeding up just slightly, his flesh hand digging in just a little wanting to grab me rather than just old me up. "Bucky…" I grip him tight "Buck...Yes. Yes. Please." He traces his lips on mine, his stubble scraping my jaw as he breathes my air. "Oh Fuck. Yes." my voice gets higher as he pushes into me, breathy and struggling to hold back as I beg for more, "Please. Yes." I reach between us, not wanting to be done but I want to come and I feel the wave of his desire about to crash. I press myself, working my clit hard and fast just enough to push me over the edge. Bucky comes with an explosion in my mind, pleasure rolling through us both as he fills me up and my legs trembling around him. The feeling of his pleasure pours into my chest white hot and it feels so good. I feel so raw and overwhelmed I struggle to hold back the oversensitive storm inside me as I catch my breath, coming down from the high of him.
I feel him shake breathing roughly against my chest as he comes back to himself shaking softly as he gently lets me go. I stand very weakly, legs not ready to take my weight. "I'm sorry" he pants gently grabbing hold of me again so he can hold me up. I breathe long slow and deep tears stinging my eyes. As I am sure he feels the crash of mixed feelings, he hesitates, a confusing storm inside me. "Hey hey...Dreamgirl, you okay?"
"Yes...yes…" I pant through the storm and offer him a laugh "I'm sorry...that was good, just so overwhelming." I kiss his cheek gently. "Thank you."
He laughs gently. "Did you just thank me?" He asks nuzzling my neck with a soft chuckle kissing my neck. "For taking advantage of you the first moment I could?"
I laugh gently. "You did need a little convincing." I'm not sure I id the hurt in my voice.
Bucky shakes his head and chuckles, "Yeah well, Steve is gonna kill me." The soldier grabbed a hand towel washing me and him gently before turning off the water and helping me out.
"Why?" I ask my nose slightly scrunched in tired confusion as he wrapped me in a big fluffy body towel.
He chuckles. "Not only did I get you first, but I also got you in the shower" Bucky smirked hard, part proud and part ashamed. Drying me gently as I blush under his touch. He bends down on his knees drying my legs as I leaned on the counter, bone-tired but satisfied. He stops for a moment looks up my body from the floor and I feel the sweetest wave of adoration and lust off him and it warms my bones.
I gulp softly, closing my eyes feeling I might have caused trouble. "I'm sorry, you can tell him it was my fault."
"Hey" he stands wrapped the towel and his strong arms around me. "What's wrong?"
I keep my eyes closed, breathing slowly, and then open my eyes, blinking I give a small smile to the super soldier now wrapped around me, pouring kindness and love into me in a way I had never even imagined I would see in my lifetime. For just a moment I feel unmoored like I am floating through the air uncontrolled. Like when he threw me across the room through a window but also like when he threw me out of the van. Is he saving me, or throwing me out of his way? I don't know. "I'm just so tired..and a little overwhelmed." I tell him. "I'm having trouble controlling my thoughts and thinking straight. It's not making any sense up here."
His smirk goes lopsided, goofy smile on his handsome face. "Sex that good?"
I bark a little laugh and nod, "Yes. Yes. The sex was that good Sargent Barnes. Well done." I pet his hair gently. "I hate to ask...But can you take me to bed and hold me...at least until I fall asleep."
He smiles wide, licking his lips with a smirk. "Well twist my arm, doll." He stands, sweeping me off my feet. He swipes his phone off the counter and takes me to my bed. He settles me into the center of the king-size bed curling up happily behind me, holding me close and petting my hair with his flesh hand. It feels so comfortable I struggle not to fall asleep right away. His phone vibrates and he checks it. Smiling softly before setting it down.
"Who messaged you?" I ask as Alpine jumps onto the bed, prancing his swishing white tail up toward Bucky. He runs his face along with my hand and then the soldiers' metal fingers seeking attention before settling in next to us.
"Steve, I told him to bring pizza" Bucky answers and I feel a little tense. Steve was gonna be mad he said...why was that again? I can't remember? Were we not supposed to do that without Steve? We hadn't talked about it, but we hadn't really had the time yet. Again I feel the crash of doubt; were we supposed to do it at all? They must have had sex plenty of times in the last month without me. I don't know the rules to be honest. "Dreamgirl, are you sure you're okay? I feel like everything is putting you on edge..." He rubs my shoulder gently trying to get me to relax.
I try to breathe. "I'm sorry, I'm being stupid and jumpy." He kisses me gently then, lips sweet and soft, delicate again, careful not to get into any serious heavy petting.
"You aren't stupid," He said softly, tilting my head toward him to claim my lips strong and serious. "Rest now, Dreamgirl." He reaches over me, gently petting the purring cat against me with a wistful smile. "We'll keep you safe."
I smile and tuck myself under his chin letting my body relax and fall into sleep. Everything will be better with some rest.
I feel Steve come home more than hear him. He's tension and anger rolling down my spine. "I don't care. You can wait. I have you five days. That was more than I agreed to." There is silence and I feel a wave of frustration. He must be on the phone. "I'm not coming back until I'm done here." There is silence. "When she is better." His voice is commanding and hard when he speaks next. "I haven't taken a sick day in over 80 years I think you'll find a way to make it work." A soft thunk punctuates the finality in his words. I feel the anger dissipate in waves, warm light, and excitement take it's place, "Y/N? Bucky?" He calls.
"In here," Bucky says, loud but not overly so. He is trying not to wake me as I float softly somewhere between awake and asleep. I smell pizza as I hear Steve come around the corner into my bedroom door.
He lets out a big deep groan, and I can feel the frustration and jealousy wrapped in playfulness roll off him. "That's not fair!" he wines softly obviously talking to Bucky.
"Oh you don't know the half of it," Bucky says, audibly smirking. I know Steve must have made a face because Bucky continued. "We did it in the shower."
Steve gasps in a short ugh sound. "You didn't!" I hear Steve groan hard and the sound wiggles its way down my body and between my legs.
"We did." He confirmed cockily, "Set down the pizza and come here."
He seems to step away and do what he was told. He comes back toward the bed when Bucky shifts. "Take off your clothes." Fuck yes. Please. I crack an eye open. Sleep can wait.
"Bucky…" He warns softly. "... she needs to rest." I feel myself stir a little. I would wake up to watch them. Bucky telling Steve to strip is not something I wanna miss.
"No." the brunette interrupts and I can feel his eye roll through my drowsiness. "I'm not gonna jump you. Just yet; at least." I hear a quiet break in his talking and the soft of lips tell me they are kissing. "I'm serious. She seems to get stronger when I'm touching her. Remember in the hospital? When she got better vitals anytime you held her hand? And even better when it was both of us?"
Steve's clothes rustle and I hear his muffled voice acknowledging Bucky before he goes on. "And at the cabin, she knew how to use your shield? It felt like she was tugging on the connection between us, when I touch her now I feel that tug. She's borrowing strength, and I hope some fast healing." He shifts a little. "She was fragile and tired before the shower, but once I got near her she got stronger. She also got real revved up ...so possibly my fault. Get naked and come take your turn. I need to eat- it's also making me hungry super fast. I could eat a horse and I had plenty of food before I went to pick her up only a few hours ago."
The weight of Steve dips on the bed. "Hey Alpine." I hear him say and the fact he remembered my cat warms my heart. I stretch at the shift, letting Bucky go. As soon as he leaves me I feel the ache and pain settle back inside me. Oh god. I think Bucky is on to something.
I groan softly at the loss of him, opening my eyes to watch Bucky's muscular back pull away from me, his beautiful body shifting across the sheets away from me, as he stops for a moment to kiss Steve. I roll, watching the two gorgeously sculpted men sweetly devour one another. Alpine jumps up to greet the new super soldier, his soft white face rubbing against Steve's hands and I smile as he stops a moment to pet the cat before Alpine skitters off to follow Bucky, undoubtedly interested in more food.
Steve gathers me close. His skin is burning hot and feels so good. I moan gently. Everything in me lights up as his open adoration pours inside me. He takes my breath away, strong arms surrounding me, and his open want and desire pour into me. "Hello." He whispers. Voice deep and rumbling in my chest.
"Steve…" I whisper, my hands gripping his arms with the sudden rush of arousal. I pant softly, feeling a crashing wave of desire run through me. It's strange, feeling how much he wants me mixed into me with a strong dose of his guilt. "Wow." I whisper, "I missed you so much."
He shudders under my touch, responding to my body like he is starving and I am the only thing to eat for a hundred miles. "Maybe if I didn't see you in my dreams every night I wouldn't be so hot and bothered."
"You dreamed about me?" I ask, feeling a little flattered as I breathe in his scent.
"You visited my dreams doll. Every night...but didn't seem to remember it the next day." He stroked my cheek gently.
I blink groggily. "I don't remember dream walking at all."
He holds me tight and buried his face in my shoulders. "I'm sorry doll, I should have noticed sooner. I'm an idiot." His lips are hot on my skin, melting into me with his deep voice and spreading desire down my body like hot water.
"You kept saying you liked the pudding" Bucky adds, returning from the bathroom with his underwear on. I cover my disappointment by focusing on his muscular abs, and broad shoulders as I watch him saunter over and sit next to me.
"Something wasn't right...that you were connecting to me and not Bucky. That alone should have tipped me off. You said you were fine, but you repeated yourself, and when we spoke and something felt wrong. I talked to Sam he said you were asking why we weren't there." He pets my hair. "I'm sorry doll, It's no excuse but I promise I didn't realize I wasn't talking to you."
I touch his sandy hair, burying my fingers in it, and breathe in slowly. I can feel him. He means what he says and I feel like I can feel snippets of the conversation swimming in my own mind. "I think you were Steve. I just can't remember the dreams. It's not your fault." I twist to the brunette, opening to the feel of him petting my skin. "Is that why you were so defensive with me? You think I reached out only to Steve?"
Bucky shrugs. He doesn't speak but his emotions bottle up uncomfortably in his stomach, working on his jaw. "I don't know. Just missed you I guess." The brunette kisses me then, sweet soft, and more openly relieved. He did think I was choosing Steve and not him. He smiles softly, standing and pulling away as he glances down my naked body and retreats again.
I let his desire flow through me, pooling between my legs groaning gently, and feel Steve's too. It's all heat and desire to show me I am what he is hungry for. "Oh." I moan, turning to kiss Steve more deeply, hooking my thigh over his so he can feel the wetness of my thighs against him. I feel him stop short.
"You just got out of the hospital…" He says breathlessly against my lips. Screw this, if he won't help me, I'll help myself. I roll against him letting him feel as a slide my own hand between my legs. I lean forward and kiss him, letting our lips push together, he grips me and moans a dirty sound as he feels my heat pour into him.
"Oh Doll…" he groans thickly as he feels the back of my hand working against his thigh, I open my heavy-lidded eyes, mouth opening softly as I stare at him, my free hand coming up to touch my breasts hips rocking into my own hand admiring Steve aginst me and around me. "You sure this is what you want?"
I moan dirty and deep. I don't know where I have the energy but I want him. I want him so bad I can taste it. Maybe that is his want for me? I don't care. I turn my hand around, gripping his length. He is hard, hot silken skin wrapped around a firm core of heated excitement and I give him a tug. His brain absolutely short circuits at the thought of my hand being slick with my juices and wrapped around him. "I want this. I want you."
"Fuck" Steve gasps rolling ontop of me, stretching me out on my back his hands pinning mine above my head in a flash, his whole body pinning me to the bed.
I rush all of a sudden with lust. His roll, the speed and the power runs straight between my legs. I'm panting hard now. I hear Bucky slowly walk back into the room. He has a pair of boxers tenting, one eyebrow quirked up. "Well if you were trying to rev her up, that succeeded."
Steve groans. "Shut up." He throws at Bucky. He breathes hard, trying to keep his body away from me. His chest ripples with power, struggling to hold back. "How are you so turned on right now?" He looks down at me.
"Have you seen you?" I ask. Rolling my body against his the length of him.
"She is not wrong." Bucky comments taking a bite of pizza. I feel his desire flow through me as well as he settles himself in my favorite reading chair to watch.
"Buck you are not helping." He moans.
I laugh softly. "You are right, he isn't helping," I smirk, stretching out and focusing on the burn of Bucky's want, not just for me but for Steve. "He wants you so bad I can taste it, and Pizza"
Bucky laughs, and Steve buries his hand in my hair, stroking my cheek gently. His desire burning hot just beneath his skin, burning into me, deep and hungry. He needs more. I take a moment to assess what I really feel. "I feel good with you touching me. I just want to feel good." I whisper. "Please. If I want you to stop or slow down I will tell you. I just... I want to feel you every moment I can" One of his hands still pins me easily, his free hand stroking my face.
He makes his decision when his mouth devours mine. I pull on my hands lightly, but he doesn't let go. Instead, he pulls off the tangled covers and exposes me completely to the other man in the room. He slides his free hand between me legs, sinking his fingers inside me. He swallows the sound, my hips lifting off the bed, bucking against him wild and struggling for a rhythm. The digits feel so good, spreading me gently. I realize I have way more energy then a minutes ago. Unlike hours ago, my lungs don't burn and neither do my ribs. I feel less sore and my body is revved up hard. "Steve" I beg, outright just beg. "Please." I rock my hips into him. "I want you inside me."
Bucky groans, I glance over, realizing he's gone from watching to touching himself through his boxers, tugging on the obvious erection there. I tilt Steve's head letting him catch site of Bucky. I streach whispering softly in the Captain's ear. "Show him how to fuck me, show him how to make me come apart." I feel Bucky stutter and Steve lose his ability to hold back. He pulls his hand away and sinks inside me. It's a little fast but it felt so good. A hot hungry burn as he thrusts hard bottoming out in me and moving from holding my wrists to one hand twining in my fingers and the other free. I grip his shoulders with my free hand, throwing my head back and arching hard. I squeeze, holding his hand above me feeling the intimate sweetness as he thrusts deep and long inside me. He feels amazing and make my head swim. "Fuck" I whisper. "Yes."
I pant, Steve's soft voice in my neck murmuring praise. "You feel so good doll, perfect. So hot. I missed you so much." His pleasure is not nearly as guarded as Bucky. I felt Bucky only through the connection of my chest through the dogtags and I feel Steve in all of me. It is overwhelming. His free hand works between us and he immediately gets to work on my sensitive spot. He's not fooling around. He works me up, spiraling hard and high and fast.
"Steve. Please. Yes. Please." I grip him and shudder, the thick length of him pumping hard careful not to hurt me, but dear god it is fast and hot and all the unstoppable force of muscle around me. "Steve" I whimper his name as a beg. "Steve!" I scream trying to capture his lips. "Steve..." I whisper, breathy and exhausted as my muscles explode in orgasm. Pleasure rips through me and shatters me, I feel him come shortly after a wash of hot pleasure dumped back through me making me pant and shudder and clutch at Steve's shoulders. Finally just when I think the waves will die down I feel Bucky come. Slashing through me like a wash of delicious water on a desert island.
Steve looks down at me, feeling the shocks of another orgasm from nowhere rush through me as I shake over him He kisses me softly, stroking my sensitive body gently as I ride out that last wave, insides clenching his softening body. He looks up, realizing from the sticky white goo and out of breath Winter Solder that I had felt Bucky come. "Huh..." Steve whispers.
Bucky smirks, whipping his hand off and leaning back. "What? You two were super hot."
Steve laughs with a solid chuckle flowing down me until he rolls off of me and lays beside me. When he isn't contacting me I struggle to catch my breath. I feel myself weaken at the lack of contact. I ache again and feel exhausted. I reach out, holding his hands and pulling myself flush against him. "I'm sorry...I need. I need you to keep touching me still ...please..." I'm out of breath as I ask, pain crawling up my ribs just a little.
He slides back up to me, wrapping back around me and I immediately breathe a little easier. "Baby doll?" Steve asks gently.
"Hmm?" I ask.
Steve feels a little guarded. "You...You felt like you weren't feeling well for a second there."
"Yeah" I whisper breathlessly closing my eyes to bask in the flow of him.
I feel a little guilt wave out of him. "You know you don't have to sleep with us just to touch us. We'll help you no matter what." He voice is so reassuring. Of course, it still sounds a little like he regrets fucking my brains out right now.
"No." I mumble, tired as I wrap my sweaty self around the blonde super soldier. "I want to. I want to touch you as much as I can before you decide you don't want to include me anymore."
"What?" Bucky asks, like a bucket of ice water soaks me through the dogtags on my chest. It feels like he clamps down on the connection and it hurts. He crawls into bed on the other side of me, fingers cautious as he steers my face toward him. "What are you talking about?"
Steve wraps himself around my middle, encasing me in his radiant love. I feel my heartache as I speak, too tired to do anything, so confused. "I'm so lucky to have the two of you wanting me. I will take advantage of it for as long as I can. That's all. Did I say something wrong?"
Bucky strokes my face and I feel a little more energy pour into me. I still struggle a little to meet his eyes when he asks. "What..did you mean by us...deciding not to include... " he's lost, not remembering my exact words. "What do you think we are?"
"Super soldiers?" I answered with confusion.
"No. Us. The three of us?" Steve asks, his lips tracing my jaw. "What do you think we are to each other?"
I shrug struggling to clear my brain. "I think you are lovers, and partners, and friends." I murmur, not liking the kind of adrenaline that I feel starting to spike through me.
Bucky leans down kissing me delicately. "We…" He corrects. "We are lovers ...and partners ...and friends."
"Yeah." I say with a smile. "Sure yeah." I try to pull myself up, pulling the sheet over myself as this conversation feels like it could shatter everything and fear floods me despite my best efforts. Steve's hands are still on my thighs under the sheet as his touch follows me. He is firmly intent on not letting go of me again. I push myself up to lean on the headboard. I feel myself retreating but I can't stop. "But...you know. You're...Steve and Bucky. Together to the end of the line... finding each other again after the better part of a century... And I'm. I'm not really a part of that." Bucky shakes his head pulling himself closer to me, he doesn't know what to say but I feel a strong flow of emotion from him threatening to break into me. "It's Okay Bucky. I can feel how much you love each other. I understand that... I'm not...It's okay. I'm not trying to compete or get in the way. I'm sorry I don't want to mess this up, I don't need more than this, this is good. Please dont be upset with me."
Steve pulls me back down, his strength unyielding and gentle at the same time. He leans into me, his forehead touching mine. His wide-open heart feels like it slices into me and knows what I feel better than I do. He pulls me back to him with the light of his heart like a lasso around my insides. "Y/N, there is nothing more than this. I am absolutely head over heels in love with you. You and Bucky both. Not just him." I feel my heart swell.
"Dreamgirl." Bucky whispers, sliding down next to me on the other side his mouth landing on my neck "I love Steve to the ends of the earth. You feel that. You see that. Don't you also feel how much I love you? Don't you?"
I feel those words hit me like a ton of bricks and I close my eyes, just letting that feeling break into my heart and sitting with that. "So I'm yours?" I open my eyes, seeing them both staring at me.
Steve growls softly, biting into my shoulder playfully with a bright smile. "Mine."
Bucky smiles and places my hand on his cheek. "Honestly, I feel the other way around...like I belong to the both of you" The moment he says it I feel lightning zing across me. Steve feels it too, holding on to my waist like he is catching me as I threaten to lose my balance, then I look at Bucky's big wide eyes.
I smile, breathing in the mist only I can see, feeling his love flow into me. Not just through the dogtags but his entire body. At the Hydra base, Steve has switched from thinking of me as something outside of him, to his. His lover. His love. His heart. A part of him. He claimed me out loud and I suddenly could feel him when I was touching nothing. Bucky just connected himself to me the same way. Our bond is now bright and electric compared to before. "Fuck" he whispers, looking at his hands and then at me, feeling lit up like a Christmas tree. I wonder if this is why Steve felt like love, and everything all at once, while Bucky felt guarded. He feels open to me now. The sedative still feels like everything has to be close or touching me, to work right but he feels good.
Steve leans up looking at Bucky. "I think I felt that."
Bucky laughs softly. "Wow. What was that Dreamgirl?"
I smile and shrug. "I don't know. It's only ever happened with Steve and now you." I touch the dog tags around me neck "I don't need these to feel you anymore though."
Bucky closes his eyes and I feel him extending himself into me, swimming in the feeling of me present inside him. Like he's experiencing the connection for this first time. He feels my love for him and Steve and I feel him chase away the left over fear with a rush of affirmation.
"What does this mean for us?" I ask. "The three of us?"
"Well, first we are gonna get some sleep." Bucky says, pulling the blankets back around the three of us and getting as much of his skin connected to mine as he possibly can."Steve is gonna make us eat so we don't de of starvation." Bucky quips "Then, most likely Steve is gonna want to wake you up and fuck you senseless in the shower"
Steve chuckles, sliding his hands possessively over my body, determined to make sure I am still touching him and getting any energy I need. "Then Bucky is gonna eat you out. He's always hungry."
I feel myself start to giggle, Steve shuts Bucky up with a quick kiss that warms my heart seeing them together. "The two of us are gonna take care of you." He adds, moving to give me a kiss again.
Bucky shrugs. Ever the snarky flirt, he bites the nearest part of me wiggling his eyebrows. "Then fuck you till you can't walk. So we can dote on you some more"
Steve swats at Bucky gently. I just smile. "Don't worry Bucky. I haven't forgotten I still owe you that ride."
I absolutely revel in the wave of heat coming off him when I say that. "That's my Dreamgirl."