Smiling into the mirror, Melinda May swayed softly holding a dress against her frame, trying out the color. She'd be having dinner with Phil in two hours and she couldn't wait. They had been dating for five months now and she fell for him a little deeper each day. He was so sweet and funny and she loved so much to be around him that it made her wonder how she had survived for so long without that goofball.
Deciding that the dress in question would do the work of dropping Phil's jaw to the floor, she moved to evaluate the shoes as she listened to the sports channel. Upon meeting him, May had dug in the internet and learnt everything there was to know about baseball in order to understand whatever Phil shared about his world. She was no expert by any means, but she could hold herself now. She had been pleasantly surprised and more than a little impressed upon finding his name on the list of the current best players in the league. He was always being described as a superb batter and the beloved leader of his team, but his down to earth nature was what really won her over.
The only bummer in their relationship was that work kept getting in the way. Sometimes it was her going away for a conference, but most often than not it was Phil's games taking him off state. They made up for it through texting and outrageously long calls, but it wasn't the same. May was itching to wrap him in her arms and never letting go.
Just as she was deciding what scent of soap she'd use in her bath, her phone rang. A smile automatically curved her lips upon seeing it was Phil calling.
-Hi, babe. Guess what, I've just decided on a dress for tonight.- May greeted him.
However, a worried frown formed upon hearing him talk. She could tell he was doing a big show to sound in control, but his voice was trembling.
-Hey, honey. Oh, God; I feel awful for doing this but I need to cancel for the night. I… I need a moment, okay?- Phil whispered.
-Phil? What happened?- May felt a shot of horror freezing her insides.
-Noth… nothing, May. I just… I need to go home, okay?- Phil's voice broke.
-No, Phil, don't do this. Come here and we'll talk, or not, whatever you want.- she pleaded anxiously.
-I… I don't think I can be good company.- Phil answered doubtfully.
-I just want to hold you, baby. Please?- May bit her lip.
There was a short pause in which Phil struggled to decide and May mentally begged he'd take the offer of comfort.
-Okay.- Phil mumbled.
May frantically rushed through her apartment then, straightening this and putting away that, during the ten minutes it took him to get to her apartment. She hadn't been able to change out of her baggy being-at-home clothes, nor put on make-up or brushing her loose pony tail into order. Any other day that would have been a shameful tragedy for her, but at the time she was too worried to care.
She had never seen Phil distressed. He was always so playful and happy that it had shocked her to hear him so heartbroken. But now, having literally a second to spare to think about it, she kicked herself mentally for asking Phil to come. He obviously needed some comforting and she had never been good at the mushy stuff. What if she blew it? What if she couldn't give him the support he needed?
Listening to his steps approaching her door, she bit her lip feeling small and inadequate. Andrew had called her "emotionally constipated" more than once. The comment had hurt so much every time he said it, but she hadn't been able to disagree. And now that Phil was feeling down all she could think about was that he had such a tender heart and that she was going to say the wrong thing.
Feeling profoundly distressed, she prayed to be able to make him feel as cared for as he did her. She was going to do her absolute best, but she couldn't shake the feeling that this was it, this could very well be the thing to break them. She was so in love with him but still it would be her fault now if it ended. She just wasn't made to take care of people, as Andrew pointed out.
But she couldn't leave him alone to fend for himself, not when he was so sad. She could at least try to help. The thought was what counted, right? Taking a nervous deep breath, clinging desperately to that thought, she opened the door without letting him knock.
The sight of him made her heart ache. His shoulders were down and his eyes didn't leave the floor, his whole being screamed defeat. May couldn't even form a complete thought, she just wrapped an arm around his waist and dug the other in his hair and put him in the tightest of hugs. She kept kissing his check, neck and shoulders a million times as he desperately engulfed her frame and soundlessly sobbed into her hair. She could feel his whole body shaking and she couldn't help but shed a few tears herself even if she didn't know what had happened. She just let him cry it all out as she soothingly rubbed with her thumb the line where his hair met his neck.
Gradually, the shaking receded and his hold on her lost its desperation. Without letting go of him, May made a trail down his jaw seeking his lips, and upon finding them, she kissed him deeply, with all the intense care she harbored in her heart. She captured his bottom lip between hers and he couldn't help but moan softly. Adjusting the tender grip in her hip and burying his hand in the rich cascade of her hair, he pressed their lips further together.
Kiss, and kiss, and kiss again, they indulged in the sweetest of caresses as the barriers of time wavered. A second or a year, they could no longer tell, lost in each other as they were. Their love just flowed. A symphony of caring touches and irrepressible sighs filled the room, hearts singing with the stars above as their lips merged.
Though all things must come to an end, the melody didn't suffer an abrupt death. Moving slightly up, Phil placed a lingering kiss in her forehead and then hid from the world in the safe haven of her shoulder. He sighed deeply, his nose being pleasantly tickled by her perfume as he continued to embrace her warmly.
May's thumb continued to caringly rub up and down the back of his neck. She loved the way he hugged her and allowed herself to enjoy it for a bit longer, but worry eventually invaded her thoughts. What should she do now? He seemed to have calmed down, but what if she messed up and he got upset again? What if she said the wrong thing? What if she hurt him further?
May gulped fearfully, unsure of what to do.
-Phil? What…? Do you want to tell me… talk about it?- she whispered, feeling clumsy.
She felt him nod against the side of her neck.
-I went to the hospital to give flowers to the nurse who tended to me last season when I broke my nose. I was walking down the hall when a boy I play with in the park came and hugged my knees. 'Member him? I played with him and his brother when we first kissed.-
May scowled.
-Was it the younger brother or the eldest?- She asked.
-The younger one.- Phil mumbled miserably.- He said he missed playing with me on Saturdays, because he doesn't have a daddy to play with.-
May caressed his back up and down and placed a kiss where his neck and shoulder met.
-But then he tugged my hand towards a room. There was another boy lying in bed, thin and pale as a ghost. I didn't recognize him at first, but he said: 'remember me, Mr. Phil? We played in the park, though I used to have hair.'-
Phil's voice trembled and got blocked by the huge not in his throat. Fresh tears wetted her shoulder once again. May felt her chest ache and her heart broke for both Phil and the boys. She hugged him a little closer, kissing his cheek sadly.
-That's brutal, sweetheart. Is he… going to be okay?- May asked, fearing the answer.
-They don't know. A ten year old has a brain tumor, his eight year old brother is terrified and their single mom is left to watch them helplessly.- he croaked painfully.
May continued to hold him close, rubbing her hand up and down his back, not knowing what to say and wishing she knew what to do. She grilled her teeth sorrowfully, hating that Andrew was right after all. Having Phil trembling in her arms confirmed what he'd said, that she was ill-equipped to care for others. Her eyes filled with tears she didn't know how to hold anymore, because Phil deserved so much better than that.
-I wish I knew how to make it better. I'm sorry, Phil.- she whispered defeated.
But Phil was already shaking his head.
-You've done so much already. I'm so glad I came, you're exactly what I needed.- he cupped her jaw and kissed her softly.
May had no way of knowing this, but his former girlfriend thought he was weak. Whenever he got emotional over anything, she'd say he was just a crybaby and that he needed to grow a pair. He had hesitated to come earlier because he'd feared May would react the same. He couldn't change the way he was, he couldn't help it if he cared, but May supporting him like this was a pleasant surprise.
May kept rubbing his back and kissing him wherever she could reach. It made Phil smile. It was so nice being cared for, and under the circumstances, it also was a new experience for him.
-Phil? You remember last month's Christmas party? I wrote the play the Theater department presented.-
Phil frowned, still buried in her shoulder. May was a literature professor on top of being a writer. Her university always put up a big show for the Holidays and she had come up with a mind blowing play about living with hope in a heartless futuristic world filled with killer robots.
-Yeah.- He mumbled, trying to follow her line of thought.
-Would you like me to come with you to see them some time? Maybe I could do a bit of storytelling… I know it's not much, but…-
May suddenly shut her mouth uncomfortably, and her face reddened. Phil had straightened and was now looking at her.
-You… want to come with me to the hospital and make up stories for the kids.- Phil started in disbelief.
May averted her eyes embarrassed. That was her best skill, but put into those words sounded so pitifully she couldn't help but cringe.
-Sorry, forget I said it.- she said mortified.
-May, don't. It takes courage not to run away from pain to begin with, but when the problem isn't even yours… It'd be so easy to turn your back to it… You're so…-
Words suddenly got stuck in his throat. Frowning at this, May dared to take a peek at him and what she found was his gorgeous blue eyes filled with awe. It totally took her by surprise, though his next words were the ones that left her breathless.
-Marry me.- Phil said, widening her eyes and making her jaw drop.
The proposal seemed to have unexpectedly strike both him and her simultaneously, but there was no hesitation in his voice. His gaze was calm, filled with the certainty of having found what he had been searching for his whole life, something he'd thought at times that couldn't be found.
It took her a few seconds to defreeze, but her answer was equally as zealous.
-Right this second if I could.- And Phil's happy smile almost blind her, finding a perfect mirror in her own face.
And they kissed again, hearts so full of joy that it felt like touching the stars.